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[Armok]

Anyone cares to play?
Standard Pantshelm ruleset.
For rules see rules thread and example.

[Karlito]

Challenging the God of Blood at Tacticus?  You must think we're mad.  Well, actually we probably are.

Let's see, as my starting move, I think I'll bring along one breeding pair of cats.  

[Jamini]

I would like to join, but I feel torn over such a dangerous opening move.

I feel compelled to ask if we are playing with the Urist Conditional Ruleset. If so, I am going to use a Potshied Fiat to destroy those cats as long as at least 2.5 or more other players agree that a pair of cats is a danger to every player on the board.

If the agreement is reached, under the Urist Contitional Ruleset I would become Arbitor and would have the ability to reverse exactly one statement that is not divisible by (((6+3)*B)0(N^20th + 35 -3 (P/3)) every third turn under the blue moon on the hour of the turtle. Becoming arbitor also nets me four points and a Goblin High Priest of Truth and Light who is allied with all good-aligned creatures on the board.

Otherwise I would lose my turn this round, but gain two cats of my own at the start of next turn as well as an "Unfair Advantage" as defined in section 5c extension d61.

If we are not using the conditional ruleset, I will place a male dwarf name Bomrek and a Female Dwarf named Urist in the butcher's and tanner's shop repestively.

[Vactor]

I'm game, I'll dig an animal pit at B/12 for my first move

[Cthulhu]

I counter that with an "Animal Pit Full of Spikes" spell(Animal Pit Full of Spikes and other Tacitus Spells, 3rd Edition, page 5432987).  It fills your animal pit full of spikes, and as a side effect due to my metamagic feat, I also obtain a Ball in a cup.  It's a ball and a cup, and you try to catch the ball in the cup, but don't worry if you miss, the ball is on a string attached to the cup.  Once you're done, cleanup is as easy as catching a ball in a cup.

[Lucid_Archon]

As a twist on the original Blankethold gambit, I place one (1) booze stockpile  insidethe animal pit.

[Armok]

quote:Originally posted by Jamini:
<STRONG>I feel compelled to ask if we are playing with the Urist Conditional Ruleset.</STRONG>

Hmm, I DID say standard but it DOES sound intresting...

*finds the book, dusts it up, and reads up on the Urist Conditional Ruleset*

We'll use it!  

... this mean it will be a 1/20 chance of any specific unit that is not immortal or a demigod (see standard definitions list of pantshelm ruleset, page §123) will die of old age any given turn...

*throws 1d20 for each creature in play*

The male cat died of old age, the rest lives.

[GeneralValter]

Alright, I'm sending a few dozen kittens out into the field to flush out all the animal traps lieing around. Then I'll bust out the marksdwarves.

[Cthulhu]

I summon six construction workers and make five of them start building flaming puppy turrets to fend off enemies around my base.  The sixth catcalls the female dwarf in the tanner's shop, distracting her and preventing her from tanning anything for three turns.

[Snugglebear]

My elven traders arrive with tame hoary marmots.  Under the Pantshelm rules, if the marmots enter into perpendicular equilibrium with the hematite vein in B12, Jreengus occurs.  This, in turn, causes all kobolds to be returned to the box and replaced with one (1) dwarven hammerer allied to the nearest goblin civilization due to baby-snatching.

The hammerer will then, in accordance with subsection CXVIII of Rule 382157, issue a challenge to any semimegabeasts that enter play, provided of course that the vernal equinox is not in effect and the overall alignment of the terrain type is not Joyous.  Provided that no olmmen exist within 23 tiles of the hammerer, he will furthermore mandate the construction of silk ropes on a regular basis, encumbering local production.

In the event that the elves are countered by an offering of unsuitable crafts or meat, my gambit can be defeated.  However, as the "cat conundrum" (see: Karlito's post) continues to vex us, my play cannot be resolved pending the clarification of whether the Urist ruleset is in effect (as Jamini quite properly inquired) and, if so, the final effect of the Potshied Fiat if it is, indeed, a valid proposition under the current set of regulations.

In the event that the Urist Ruleset is not valid within the terms and conditions of this game, as is certainly possible given the notoriously middling clarity of the Pantshelm rules (admittedly far superior to the Hoary Realms of Baking system) the presence of Bomrek and Urist cannot be established vis-a-vis the butcher's and tanner's shops pending the construction of such.  As the Pantshelm rules do not provide for pre-existing workshops other than asheries, farmer's workshops, and (somewhat inexplicably) alchemist's laboratories, I assume that we are employing the Flowedupward the Horns of Pastry corollary or perhaps the alternative but less complex Golden Yeastbloom of Tingling proposition.  Under either set both would be pre-existing, along with a trade depot containing one platinum high boot that menacies with spikes of moss agate.  Consequently the elven traders arrive unmolested and play passes to the third player to my left.

Fortunately, I see that this is not the case and now we need merely to resolve the position of the marmots.

(Second edit for grammar!)

[ May 12, 2008: Message edited by: Snugglebear ]

[Bricktop]

I will enter play at this point, using the Standard Sock Exchange Rule (Panthelm Rule book, section 5c just above the picture of the naked dwarf) to exchange one of my starting socks for a War Dog.

I deploy the wardog on the boulder at 9C.

However, my dwarf is now considered under-dressed and so I need to roll on the Standard Dwarven Psychosis table...

**rolls 7.3 dice**

Oh, my dwarf is now berserk, and so all cats currently in play suffer from 4 punch attacks.

Next move...

[Snugglebear]

quote:Originally posted by Bricktop:
<STRONG>I will enter play at this point, using the Standard Sock Exchange Rule...

However, my dwarf is now considered under-dressed and so I need to roll on the Standard Dwarven Psychosis table...

**rolls 7.3 dice**

Oh, my dwarf is now berserk, and so all cats currently in play suffer from 4 punch attacks.

Next move...</STRONG>

Lucky roll! I haven't seen the Bedlam Gambit employed to such effect in a long while.

Hopefully Armok will let us know about the relative position of those marmots.  I understand he's partial to kobolds so I expect some manner of interference, of course.

[Duke 2.0]

I prefer it if an example link didn't lead to an example link which leads to an example link.

I play recursive artifact! Oh wait, I don't have a strange mood on a dwarf...

Forgot you saw that.

Anyway, I guess I'll need a fortress on the cursed plains tile. So, traps, outer wall, tower, another tower, deep mines, workshops, lake...
*Rolls dice*
Damnit, carp infest it. Oh well, I wonder if I have magma...
*Roll dice*
Wait a sec... How did I trigger a flood?
*Three dice rolls*

...So from what I can read from the rules, my fortress is now trapped below a magma lake, carp have become the demon overlords of my dwarves, and somehow the kobolds are pissed at me.
What does the rulebook say... Goto last page...
"Loosing is fun!"

[Karlito]

Ah well I suppose that the Urist Conditional Ruleset is only fair and sporting considering the circumstances, however if you refer to subsection C paragraph 174 of the revised rules (most recent edition) you will see that I am entitled to activate my remaining female cat's special ability at this time.

*fumbles through a pile of character sheets*

So lets see... *reads from sheet*
Lucky Adoption: When this ability is activated roll 2d6, if the result is a prime number assign this cat to a random dwarf.  If a dwarf has a preference for cats you may subtract one from your roll, follow the standard pantshelm rules for creature adoption, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Well it seems that none of the dwarves have a preference for cats so I'll have to get a prime number on this one.
*rolls dice*
Well wouldn't you know it, double sixes, right when I need them least.

I guess I'll just pass play to the left then...

[Vactor]

in light of recent developments I will take my next 2 turns developing and constructing the Meta-lever, which being the first meta-item in play is immune to any effects intending to interfere with its use pro actively and, as of edition 27.6 of the advanced meta-item handbook, retroactively.  As per the instructions of the advanced meta item handbook lay translation volume 14, The Meta-lever links to all lever able objects past and present.  

If i understand the Sodel papers on the topic of advanced meta-item handbook lay translation volume 14 correctly, once the meta-item creates the inevitable paradox that has already happened I earn 7 points, and also earn double the points earned within that paradox by any other player.