I’ll admit it. I’m not a particularly big fan of going outside, what with Armok’s allseeing eyes being there, but I should’ve known an inspection was needed. I should’ve known that leaving this place in the hands of madmen, fanatics and peasants would lead to some rather… questionable decisions.
But this… I have no words for this. The outside base is quite literally… riddled with holes and tunnels. I have no clue whose idea it was that building trenches
inside our own encampment was a good idea, but if I knew, they’d be the ones on which the new floor would be built.
I’ve ordered all of the trenches to be filled with stone and a floor to be properly put in place. But that’s not even the least of my problems. While I was trying to even
get outside, I found out that none of the levers in the lever room are linked to the most important bridges! Only the bottom left one works and that’s for the side entrance!
Scoot assures me he’ll find out who did this, but I doubt he’s honest when saying that. More likely he’s just saying it to appease me. Probably thinks I’ll execute my way to find the interloper. Even I wouldn’t do that! I’d run out of bones at an alarming rate if I did that. How silly of Scoot. Must be why he’s called that.
On the other hand we have children. A lot of them. We have 19 children! That’s 19 mouths to feed and 19 idle hands! The enemy won’t wait, and neither should we. As I watch this document that Scoot has written up for me, I officially stamp it with my signature, giving it the full authority of the King of Necrothreat.
“Let it be known that the exports of toy axes are to be banned and that their production is to be increased! I will not leave our children defenseless in the future! It is our duty to them to guarantee that they know how to fight. May they grow to be strong warriors, capable of battling the armies of Armok and Ur, and serving me in their full capacity! You have my blessing!” was written on the document in a fancy, but easy to read font.
Of course if the war was prolonged long enough for them to grow up to their full fighting potential, we probably would have already lost the war by then. Then again I cannot predict the future, only prepare for it. Let us hope that our efforts are not for naught.
A month after my rule Scoot brought a report on our food supply and I discovered that it had hardly improved even after all the attention I brought to it! A closer look later and I discovered that the problem was self-evident. We simply lacked a big enough refuse pile for the meat to be put. Our previous one, the very first one I had built during my first rule, was overflowing with, it both pains my heart and fills it with joy as I say this, bones.
This is absolutely unacceptable! Those bones must be put to good use serving me! I’ve ordered the nearby craftsman’s workshop to begin the full production of bone crowns at maximum priority. One may wonder why I would have my own symbol of rule cheapened with such quantity. The answer is simple. It takes a lot of failures until you get a great success, a masterwork if you will. It may lack the power of the original Bone Crown, but I am certain that over time, if it survives long enough I may infuse it with my very own essence. But for that to happen it must be of the highest quality.
Back to the problem of food, I’ve been forced to delay my new royal chambers in favor of building a proper kitchen for the fortress. I hope my people will recognize the sacrifices I make for them. Scoot assures me that will be the case, but bah, when has he been a person of the people?
On the flipside I’ve also discovered that the dining room, which I’ve never visited before as I ate all my meals in the barracks, was also made by a madman. All the tables and chairs are arranged around a quite literal hole. And it’s not just one hole. There’s five holes in the entire room! I’ve had them plugged in as well. It is my hope to build walls on top of the newly built floor afterwards. What’s with the previous overseers and holes? It’s not even that interesting to have a hole.
Which leads me to another note. There are, in fact, levers to the north of the dining room. The same levers I was looking for earlier during my outside inspection. What in my name are they flippin’ doing down here? I understand the need for backup levers, but
in the dining room? And they call me mad.
For some reason the guard dogs I had stationed at the for entrance are now gone. New guard dogs have been stationed there now. I have no clue why anybody would think that not having guard dogs is a good idea. Then again, mad, incompetent forumites make for a terrible combination.
Continuing the tradition of mad inventions the entrance to the noble district appears to have a… non-functional bridge and a functional one. They also have the rather troublesome issue of having their levers hidden, even though they
should be in the district itself. At least the person in charge has engraved his name on the floor. I’d have him executed if he was still alive.
What a troublesome place my kingdom is, and a season hasn’t even passed since the renewal of my rule! I do hope we can have a peaceful winter, albeit the food stores do worry me. I need the military to be at full strength for the inevitable necrothreader invasion. Soon. They will soon come.