Alright, here we go. Time to get this thread truly started.
MIDO'S JOURNAL LOG: YEAR 1050
Personal journal of fortress manager Mido, overseeing development of "Glovebreakfast".
Entry 1: Though I am almost certain the month is Granite, I have no idea what the hell day it is. Weeks have passed since our departure from the mountainhomes, ten dwarves including myself, led by the so-called master explorer Minkot Cabnulser. He seems to be leading us in a new direction every day, and I could swear a pile of shit could prove a better compass then that decrepit old thing he is using. Only time will tell what happens next.
Entry 2: Minkot drew the last straw when he attempted to lead us up a mountain slope steep enough to be considered a right angle. We delighted ourselves to shove that compass of his down his throat. Nine of us remain. Moving on!
Entry 3: Zasit apparently went insane and threw himself into a river, of which the water shortly after turned red. If the stories of local carp are to be beleived, not much is left of poor Zasit. Eight of us remain.
Entry 4: Looks like we are finally making some headway. If this map is to be trusted, our destination lies just over the horizon.
Entry 5: Idiots, all of them. Went and drove the caravan right into the cliffside, they did. Looks like this is where the fortress will be. Looks like we're about as close as one can get to the middle of nowhere, though the official documents state that this area has been surveyed and has promising amounts of resources. I find these "documents" hard to take seriously, however, since they declare that our new fortress shall be named "Glovebreakfast".
Entry 6: I suppose we may as well make the best of this situation. The others have chosen me to direct the construction of the fortress. So, seven working dwarves and myself have begun preliminary construction measures. We have dismantled the wagon and moved all supplies to the location we have chosen to begin excavation.
Entry 7: I had the miners carve out the cliffsides to make nice, flat walls. Also started building a warehouse. The hunter reported to me that quite a few animals inhabited the region, most notably a pack of wild elephants to the south. Though elephants are apparently more peaceful these days then they were in the past, I still don't trust the damn things.
Entry 8: My suspicions were confirmed. The elephants have already done some crazy shit to make life difficult. The herbalist reported to me that the valley adjacent to the local waterfall had somehow been flooded. I went out to investigate for myself, and sure enough, the area was completely flooded. A lone elephant stood in the middle of the chaos. Surely, it was responsible for this. It did not move, it simply stood its ground, staring at me intently with those emotionless beady little eyes.
Entry 9: Seems like the flood is the new favorite locale of the elephant pack. Looks like the fuckers are quite proud of themselves. Hopefully they will stay out of our way.
Entry 10: I was awoken this morning by a donkey taking a shit on the rock I was sleeping against. Though it hadn't really bothered me before, I just now noticed that several pairs of animals had been brought along on the trip. Two dogs, two cats, two horses, two mules, two donkeys. What is this, fucking Noah's ark? I had the miners excavate a pit and throw the animals in it.
Entry 11: Nothing much to report. Rained today. The fisherdwarf was unable to work due to a particularly nasty case of neuralgia.
Entry 12: Hunter reported a cougar prowling about in the eastern field. I decided to remove all slopes near the fortress to ensure it count only be entered from one side.
Entry 13: The elephant pack left the western fortress boundaries, and somehow reappeared on the eastern boundaries shortly after. Apparently, these elephants are capable of fucking teleportation, a thought that makes me want to soil myself.
Entry 14: The miner fell asleep while mining. I don't know how, I don't want to know how.
Entry 15: The animals in the pit have started breeding like rabbits. I would raise the question of how they are even surviving in that pit seeing as there is no food or water (in fact, no anything other than obsidian), but the promise that we can use them as a steady supply of meat is good enough for me.
Entry 16: Excavation continues to go as planned. I was rather delighted to find that we had tunneled right into a cavern with a magma vent, though that quickly wore off with the discovery that said magma vent was infested by fire imps. Luckily we managed to kill them, but not before the fisherdwarf was hit by a fireball to the groin, utterly destroying his left testicle. He has earned the nickname the 'One-Ball Wonder'.
Entry 17: The dwarven trade caravan came by to trade. I was a bit amazed that they had manage to find us way out here in the boondocks. They had some good stuff, but unfortunately, we for the most part did not. Still, what little we had to trade managed to score us some booze.
Entry 18: Winter has arrived. Looks like we may have a chance to survive out here after all. Food and drink stocks look like they can last us till next spring, and nothing has bothered us so far.
Entry 19: Well, speak of the devil. Kobold thieves have apparently found out about our little operation and are trying to make off with some of our goods. Not that big of a deal, though, since the scrawny little bastards don't put up much of a fight. Even the farmer managed to chase one off.
Entry 20: Two more of the little devils showed up today. The hunter didn't let these ones get away this time. He made short work of them. He's a fine soldier, that hunter. I'll keep him in mind for future military operations. I was a bit concerned when he began smearing the blood of the dead kobolds across his face while screaming battlecries, but I won't press the issue any further.
Entry 21: This will be the last journal entry of year 1050. We've come along way, thats for sure. But we have a long way to go. I'm off to go get drunk.
(To be continued)
[ May 12, 2008: Message edited by: Mido ]
[ May 13, 2008: Message edited by: Mido ]
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Topic: Glovebreakfast, the spiritual successor to Boatmurdered (Read 15110 times)