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[Dame de la Licorne]

W.O.W.!!   

[anyar]

Damn, know I feel compelled to find the beat and a microphone... I'm pretty sure I've got or seen that instrumental somewhere.

[Lemnx]

Just finished catching up with this via the excellent book version (thanks, whoever made that!). Last time I read was about when the Captain fought the hydra, so I had a LOT to go through.

It was all excellent, of course.

In fact I feel.. inspired. Inspired to parody!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxF-ImXaUdE

As I walk through the tundra that I've coated with bones
I take a look at the fort, and realize it's now my home
Cause I've been fightin' the skelk for so long that
Even BurnedToast thinks my mind is gone
But I ain't never crossed a goblin that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like an elf? You know that's unheard of
You better watch what you're haulin', and where you're walkin'
Or that peasant over that might be wearing your socks
I really hate to mandate, but it's not a joke
Need an 'item' in my office cuz it just looks broke, fool
I'm the kinda dwarf the evildoers never can strike
On the battlements in the night
Eatin' crumpets in the moonlight

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


Look at the situation they got me facin'
Fought a hydra in the nude, and I soon had it licked
So I gotta watch out for the nobility
Too much kitty-crumpet eatin' got me busting seams
I'm an educated dwarf with trading on my mind
Got my pick in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I'm a plate-wearin' mayor, trap-trippin' slayer
And my militia is down, so don't arouse my anger, fool
Death ain't nuthin' but the next siege away
I'm livin' life do-or-die, what can I say?
The fort's 33 now, but will it live to see 34?
The way things is goin' I dunno

Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


The meetings and the crumpets, the crumpets and the meetings
Mandate after mandate, hammerings and beatings
Everybody's haulin', but half of them ain't lookin'
It's goin' on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'
They say I should have died, but can anybody beat me?
If a dragon's all they've got, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't - I guess they won't - I guess they front
That's how I know their lives are outta luck, fool

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?
Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?

*Sheds Tear* It is... it is so beautiful...

[Zako]

Man...

That should actually become a song! A hit and everything!

[timmeh]

Just finished catching up with this via the excellent book version (thanks, whoever made that!). Last time I read was about when the Captain fought the hydra, so I had a LOT to go through.

It was all excellent, of course.

In fact I feel.. inspired. Inspired to parody!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxF-ImXaUdE

As I walk through the tundra that I've coated with bones
I take a look at the fort, and realize it's now my home
Cause I've been fightin' the skelk for so long that
Even BurnedToast thinks my mind is gone
But I ain't never crossed a goblin that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like an elf? You know that's unheard of
You better watch what you're haulin', and where you're walkin'
Or that peasant over that might be wearing your socks
I really hate to mandate, but it's not a joke
Need an 'item' in my office cuz it just looks broke, fool
I'm the kinda dwarf the evildoers never can strike
On the battlements in the night
Eatin' crumpets in the moonlight

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


Look at the situation they got me facin'
Fought a hydra in the nude, and I soon had it licked
So I gotta watch out for the nobility
Too much kitty-crumpet eatin' got me busting seams
I'm an educated dwarf with trading on my mind
Got my pick in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I'm a plate-wearin' mayor, trap-trippin' slayer
And my militia is down, so don't arouse my anger, fool
Death ain't nuthin' but the next siege away
I'm livin' life do-or-die, what can I say?
The fort's 33 now, but will it live to see 34?
The way things is goin' I dunno

Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


The meetings and the crumpets, the crumpets and the meetings
Mandate after mandate, hammerings and beatings
Everybody's haulin', but half of them ain't lookin'
It's goin' on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'
They say I should have died, but can anybody beat me?
If a dragon's all they've got, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't - I guess they won't - I guess they front
That's how I know their lives are outta luck, fool

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?
Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?

Brilliant!

[Argonnek]

Just finished catching up with this via the excellent book version (thanks, whoever made that!). Last time I read was about when the Captain fought the hydra, so I had a LOT to go through.

It was all excellent, of course.

In fact I feel.. inspired. Inspired to parody!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxF-ImXaUdE

As I walk through the tundra that I've coated with bones
I take a look at the fort, and realize it's now my home
Cause I've been fightin' the skelk for so long that
Even BurnedToast thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never crossed a goblin that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like an elf? You know that's unheard of
You better watch what you're haulin', and where you're walkin'
Or that peasant over there might be wearing your socks
I really hate to mandate, but it's not a joke
Need an 'item' in my office cuz it just looks broke, fool
I'm the kinda dwarf the evildoers never can strike
On the battlements in the night
Eatin' crumpets in the moonlight

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


Look at the situation they got me facin'
Fought a hydra in the nude, and I soon had it licked
So I gotta watch out for the nobility
Too much kitty-crumpet eatin' got me busting seams
I'm an educated dwarf with trading on my mind
Got my pick in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I'm a plate-wearin' mayor, trap-trippin' slayer
And my militia is down, so don't arouse my anger, fool
Death ain't nuthin' but the next siege away
I'm livin' life do-or-die, what can I say?
The fort's 33 now, but will it live to see 34?
The way things is goin' I dunno

Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


The meetings and the crumpets, the crumpets and the meetings
Mandate after mandate, hammerings and beatings
Everybody's haulin', but half of them ain't lookin'
It's goin' on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'
They say I should have died, but can anybody beat me?
If a dragon's all they've got, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't - I guess they won't - I guess they front
That's how I know their lives are outta luck, fool

We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We've been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Livin' in the Captain's paradise


Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?
Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
That the crumpets we eat -- are to deceive?

There are no words to describe how... Right... that is

[Jackrabbit]

That was awesome. We need to incorporate that into the story somehow.

[Captain Mayday]

Goodness me, the new CPU more than triples the FPS from 5 to 16-18.

[Akroma]

16-18 is a totaly play-able amount, and a lot more than I ever got


looking forward to the next update, which is now in near future

[Eagle]

Alright, with an update sorta imminent, ive dug this list of hopefuls up.

Dammit, your derailment is going to make it harder for the Captain to find requests. Here's the last few. Again.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shouldn't think so.

How backed up is the list for dwarves (and others), Captain?

I dont think its that backed up, looking through the last 15 pages or so, i only see these requests that im unsure if they have been fulfilled:

Ideally, I'd like a hammerdwarf. Sunhammer if male, Starhammer if female. It'd be especially nice if they liked at least one part of the name. 

So, I'd like to request a dwarf by teh name of peekama. He can just do whatever is most convinient.

therefore i would like to be:
name: Shikon
Race Kobold
Job: trainer of war dogs

I request a dwarf before the end!
Clodpool the jewelcutter/placer.
For, y'know, jewels.
Just because.

Name: Silvereye
Profession: Warrior, sword(2 handed if possible, otherwise a normal one will do)
Gender: Male

Annnnd, some more people:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Dogan Oakenshield
Gender: Male
Profession: Axedwarf
Description: Dogan is a warrior come to Nist Akath to prove himself, and claims to be the cousin of a famous Dwarf king, though people usually do not recognize the name.

Name: Kierjan Thunderstout
Gender: Male
Profession: Im flexible as to the class, but I want military, Axe, Sword, Marks, whatever you have handy.  Maybe even conscript a Miner, mason, or something.  I just want to bash skulls at some point!

Name:Katsuun
Profession:Any
Gender:Any
Race:Any

Name: Chaos
Race: Dwarf
Gender: Male
Profession: A Hammerdwarf
Note: If it is at all possible, if he could be somehow involved with Armok or Armok's following. Not to ask for Progeny, necessarily, but perhaps a member of a group that religiously venerates him.

If Ironblood is still taking requests, a human axeman of any gender would be kickass.

Please start updating again Captain, we're dying of anticipation!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I may as well get my request from 20 or so pages back up.

Name: Bara

Profession: Moose Fisher (But in reality, a Speardwarf)

Gender: preferably male, but it doesn't matter.

Special: Bara is a Fisherdwarf, specializing in catching moose.  Bara keeps the secret of his profession closely guarded, but usually mumbles something about using the right 'bait'.  Since there is no real use for a Fisherdwarf in Nist Akath, Bara uses his spear to hunt the local skeletal elk populations.

But if you want to use Bara as a Fisherdwarf, by all means go right ahead!

Dont worry, i got Bara this time Moose Fisher. Godspeed Captain!

[Captain Mayday]

Alright, with an update sorta imminent, ive dug this list of hopefuls up.

Dammit, your derailment is going to make it harder for the Captain to find requests. Here's the last few. Again.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shouldn't think so.

How backed up is the list for dwarves (and others), Captain?

I dont think its that backed up, looking through the last 15 pages or so, i only see these requests that im unsure if they have been fulfilled:

Ideally, I'd like a hammerdwarf. Sunhammer if male, Starhammer if female. It'd be especially nice if they liked at least one part of the name. 

So, I'd like to request a dwarf by teh name of peekama. He can just do whatever is most convinient.

therefore i would like to be:
name: Shikon
Race Kobold
Job: trainer of war dogs

I request a dwarf before the end!
Clodpool the jewelcutter/placer.
For, y'know, jewels.
Just because.

Name: Silvereye
Profession: Warrior, sword(2 handed if possible, otherwise a normal one will do)
Gender: Male

Annnnd, some more people:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Dogan Oakenshield
Gender: Male
Profession: Axedwarf
Description: Dogan is a warrior come to Nist Akath to prove himself, and claims to be the cousin of a famous Dwarf king, though people usually do not recognize the name.

Name: Kierjan Thunderstout
Gender: Male
Profession: Im flexible as to the class, but I want military, Axe, Sword, Marks, whatever you have handy.  Maybe even conscript a Miner, mason, or something.  I just want to bash skulls at some point!

Name:Katsuun
Profession:Any
Gender:Any
Race:Any

Name: Chaos
Race: Dwarf
Gender: Male
Profession: A Hammerdwarf
Note: If it is at all possible, if he could be somehow involved with Armok or Armok's following. Not to ask for Progeny, necessarily, but perhaps a member of a group that religiously venerates him.

If Ironblood is still taking requests, a human axeman of any gender would be kickass.

Please start updating again Captain, we're dying of anticipation!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I may as well get my request from 20 or so pages back up.

Name: Bara

Profession: Moose Fisher (But in reality, a Speardwarf)

Gender: preferably male, but it doesn't matter.

Special: Bara is a Fisherdwarf, specializing in catching moose.  Bara keeps the secret of his profession closely guarded, but usually mumbles something about using the right 'bait'.  Since there is no real use for a Fisherdwarf in Nist Akath, Bara uses his spear to hunt the local skeletal elk populations.

But if you want to use Bara as a Fisherdwarf, by all means go right ahead!

Dont worry, i got Bara this time Moose Fisher. Godspeed Captain!

Thanks! I'll add them to my list.

[Captain Mayday]

Captain's Log. 17th of Granite. 1089.
Another year goes by. We received our usual expedition from the woodlands. Kodor met with the diplomat while BurnedToast bought all the cloth from the Elven traders. They load up a few camels with all that and they have the nerve to call our skeletal elk bone trade 'cruelty to animals'.

A large goblin warparty came hot on the heels of the traders. Fireheart took care of a squad by himself, a testament to just how far he's come.
Fleabeard and Viktoria each took care of two squads by themselves, as more or less one may expect.

Mind you, I was attending a party at the time and had no idea about any of this until it was all well and truly over.

[Katsuun]

An update!!!

[Dragooble]

Mind you, I was attending a party at the time and had no idea about any of this until it was all well and truly over.

just what i would expect from our beloved captain.

[Moose Fisher]

Mind you, I was attending a party at the time and had no idea about any of this until it was all well and truly over.

just what i would expect from our beloved captain.

Captain may as well rename goblin "raids" to "parties".