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[Eagle]

Confusion is gone. Hmm, didnt notice the gays/badasses bit....stupid walls of text...But yeah, about half the deadly (living, not environmental; although it has those hazards too) crap in the world is concentrated in Australia, with a bit more in the rainforests and deserts of the rest of the world.

[The Doctor]

Of course! What with all the deadly creatures, the creatures need to be deadly! You know, to defend against the deadly creatures.

[Captain Mayday]

Captain's Log, 4th Felsite, 1088.
Today my lovely wife came home from work which, while she is nursing, is more along the lines of bonecarving than beating the living daylights out of neverdowells.
She brought home a bit of a 'group project' that she and Helm had been intermittently working on.
It was a Cedar barrel, of no particular value, up until they took a liking to it.
I do not know who added the bands of goblin bone, or the spikes of cat bone, though Helm seems to have done an image of a golden miniforge in elk bone.
My lovely wife has subsequently had the barrel and created an image of a dog, ironically done in kobold bone, and an image of herself admiring shields.

I have to admit I was a little bit perplexed by that last one.
Later on that evening I was somewhat more perplexed when she revealed she had added more spikes, this time in black bullhead bone.

[Captain Mayday]

Conversations on the 8th of Felsite, 1088
"Captain Ironblood!" grumbled BurnedToast, for approximately the one millionth time in his life.

"Ah, hello BurnedToast, what can I do for you?" replied Ironblood amiably, kicking back in his office with a nice fresh crumpet.

"Sir, somebody has interrupted my slumber by knocking out a large chamber in the stone several paces from where I live! Who has arrived to dwell in such grandeur? The King?!" BurnedToast's demeanour betrayed the fact that he did not truly believe the king would come to reside here.

Ironblood arched his brow. "Oh that! It's not a bedroom, BurnedToast."

"It... isn't?" Burnedtoast asked, the wind slightly taken out of his sails.

"No, it's another office for me."

BurnedToast gaped. "Another office? You already have two!"

Ironblood regarded him for a moment. "Well, to be honest with you, this old office is getting a bit... full of treasure. So I elected to move to a bigger office. And since there wasn't any bigger available, I had to make do with what I had. Plus the old office has all sorts of engravings I don't find satisfying. Sure there's plenty of shapes, but there's also pictures of me leaving the Sheriff's post, and oddly one of yourself admiring an amulet. You're standing on it right now I think."

"Er, yes, I've seen that one before, sir. But... that'll still give you three offices!"

Ironblood smiled. "Yes, I do understand counting."

"But you never use them!"

"The amount of treasure says otherwise, BurnedToast." Ironblood replied, indicating his surroundings with a wave of his hand.

"Captain," BurnedToast said through clenched teeth, "I'm still using the same tiny office built from sand, the one we built together when we got here!"

Ironblood nodded. "Yes, I know. It's got great historical value."

BurnedToast pressed two fingers to his left temple, feeling it throb. "It's old! The door doesn't even swing on its hinges anymore! It doesn't HAVE hinges! I have to manually move it aside every time I want to pass through the doorway!"

"Well, we all have to make do with what we've got, BurnedToast." Ironblood responded sagely.

BurnedToast exploded. "What we've got?! I've got a room with a chair! No table, just a chair! I don't have any method of filing apart, it seems, from slowly filling the entire room with piles of paperwork and amulets."

"So you want a table?" asked Ironblood slowly.

"I want a new office!" demanded BurnedToast.

Ironblood thought a moment, then relented. "Well, I suppose you can have this one if it's that important to you. It's got a nice picture of you admiring an amulet, right where you're standing, if you'll look down."

"I... what?" BurnedToast felt stunned at finally winning a small victory.

"You can have my old office. I'll just have to further enlarge my new office."

BurnedToast's eyes were filled with tears. "Thank you sir!" he mumbled, swallowing hard, and turned and left the room.

Satisfied that the meeting had gone well, Ironblood turned back to the task of finishing his crumpet.

[Captain Mayday]

Captain's Log, 14th of Felsite, 1088
A couple days ago, Flame stumbled out of bed. We had hoped he was feeling better but from the way he was dragging himself down the hallway rather than walking we quickly came to suspect this was not the case.
As he dragged himself down the hallway, I had some dwarves intermittently check his determined progress.
It soon became clear to us that he was intent on reaching a workshop, having been overtaken by some dark creative mood.

Today he finally reached it. A mason's workshop, unsurprisingly. He immediately set about the excruciatingly painstaking process of gathering resources while being bothered by a bemused cat.
We can only pray he manages to perform his task.

[TheMirth]

Has BurnedToast overreached himself? Has he dared to fly too close to the sun by getting a stone office and table? These answers and more in the further adventures of Office Supplies and Tundra.

[Haika]

Little did burned toast know that while he won the victory for the office, the 'further' part of the Captain's new office, meant the clerk's bedroom....

XD

yay for updates,

[TheMirth]

Little did burned toast know that while he won the victory for the office, the 'further' part of the Captain's new office, meant the clerk's bedroom....

XD

yay for updates,

My first thought as well. I guess he'll be getting a cot in his new office?

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Well, none of Ironblood's offices are exactly small.

[Jackrabbit]

Yayfor burnedtoast! Is he even still active?

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Yayfor burnedtoast! Is he even still active?

Evidently.

[Eagle]

I think Jackrabbit means the actual person, not the dwarf.

[Strife26]

*gasp*

BurnedToast getting a decent office? The end must be near!

Changes into a bathrobe and runs around with "Ahhhhhhhh!" sign

[Captain Mayday]

Yayfor burnedtoast! Is he even still active?

Yeah, I checked his profile. He posted only yesterday.

[Jackrabbit]

Huh. Does he not even read this? He's the captains closest adviser and the third last survivor of the initial trip. Must PM him!