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[ricemastah]

It immediately bursts into flames and dies. Then it comes back as a !!Zombie carp!!. It begins to approach snoop and the sandwich when...

[martinuzz]

The sandwich suddenly speaks:
'Come on, you undead freak, gimme a break. Do you have any idea how hard a sandwich's life is nowadays'
'Would you shut up' Snoopicus screams. 'I am the one with no hands and a sore back! And starving!'
The !!zombie carp!! is dumbstruck and thinks 'this must be a 'speaking sandwich', and explodes in !!gore!!.

[Strife26]

The !!gore!! sprays everywhere. A large quantity of it ends up falling into the fort, via the hole caused by the aformentioned explosion. The gore lands on and ignites . . .

[BurnedToast]

A large seam of coal which happens to run under and support the fortress!

Snoopicus, realizing it's not long now before the coal burns up and the whole of the fortress of which he is now mayor caves in, springs into action and......

[Sheezy]

starts throwing carp at people!

[martinuzz]

The Ham Sandwich of Life of Death tries to take advantage of this moment of utter chaos to sneak away, but, considering it has no legs, fails miserably.
Snoopicus...

[Sheezy]

trys to eat the sandwich but is suddenly interrupted by an explosion in the general direction of the beer supply!

[Dwarfaholic]

... And then promptly drowns.

Snoopicus, on the other hand, decides to...

[Jualin]

To take this rare moment of rationality to ponder a few things...

Like, where do baby dwarves come from?
Does every elf have to be butchered in various ways by the end of the day?
How much kill is in one overkill?
Is this madness?
What is this thing called morality?
Are those explosions? If so, how can I make some?
When will it all end?
Is all the rum gone?
Why can't I see to eat this sandwhich? I mean, pick up, open, bite down, eat. How did it get so hard?

[Jools]

A slight earth tremor shakes the room, and something falls out of the sandwich. It appears to be a note:

1. The Dwarfanage.
2. Yes.
3. At least three standard kills.
4. Yes.
5. Just like madness, only it makes you feel guilty if you ignore it.
6. Yes. Try sulphur mixed with charcoal and saltpetre, then set fire to it in an enclosed space. Try also not to be in that enclosed space.
7. In about 3 seconds if you try and eat me again.
8. No.
9. Do you want to be eaten by a dragon? No? Well I don't want to be eaten either. And I'm not as helpless as you think I am...

[Dwarfaholic]

... However, the note goes unnoticed. Snoopicus notices he is hungry, and decides to put his grand questions for laters.
He lifts the sandwich to his mouth and...

[iluogo]

then decides he is tired and should get some sleep before he should eat his sandwich

[Kuli]

Snoopicus lies down on the ground to sleep.  Unfortunately just then the coal seam below finally burns away and the ground caves in.

[Sheb]

Right into a chasm buried under the Fortress! Snoopicus fall on the edge of the chasm, with the Sandwich in hand and just in front of a Giant Cave Spider!

[martinuzz]

The Giant Cave Spider screeches: 'Wow. That's a yummie Snoopicus' and is transformed to ashes.
'Oops. Sorry. I thought you were talking to me.', the Ham Sandwich of Life of Death apologizes.