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[Duke 2.0]

 A caravan just left the map with catapult parts! Snoopicus goes stark raving mad! He starts flinging sandwhiches left and right, causing carnage with his now skilled throwing skill.

 The Player, knowing that this could cause a tantrum spiral, tries...

[Strife26]

to search the DF wiki for help. But, due to problems with space-time, it's still down! The player tries instead to,

[Kuli]

...build a few <<*gabbro statues*>> in the room.  Everyone immediately calms down.

The dwarves realize they are hungry.  All the ones who are not horribly maimed (and some of whom that are) start reaching for the sandwiches.  Snoopicus worries that one of them will get the ham sandwich, so he...

[Impending Doom]

Mandates the construction of some dwarf bone items. Everyone immediately...

[iluogo]

runs out side to get the dwarfbones lying there before they realize...

[Zerox]

That Snoopicus is running off with a sandwich! After pondering what type of sammich it is, instantly, four of the eight dwarves snap the necks of the other four dwarves! Three of them then jump continuoulsy into the moat untill they starve! The last remaining dwarf then...

[ricemastah]

Swims up a conveniently placed aqueduct and ambushes snoopicus! Snoop can only....

[Kuli]

...yell out "An ambush!  Curse them!"

Unfortunately there was a real ambush party of goblin marksmen nearby.  Assuming they've been spotted they come out of hiding.  Snoopicus sees the goblins and...

[Omath Erius]

Leaps a ridiculously overexxagerated distance into the air, brandishing the sandwich like a bane against all that is evil, he begins to preform...

[RPharazon]

...a house! His preforming skills are second to none.
It has to be put on hold though, as the ground rushes up to meet him!

[SHAD0Wdump]

Where lies a *willow bed*,a pair of crying elves,a possessed pork chop,and a !!partridge in a pear tree!!.

Snoopicus...

[Kuli]

...hits the ground, though not too hard.  Snoopicus only suffers a bruised spine, which although it will never heal will not leave him crippled either.  Just in chronic pain.

The goblins shoot the crying elves and the other dwarf, each bolt somehow managing to pierce their lungs, heart, and eyes all at the same time.  The goblins approach Snoopicus and...

[SHAD0Wdump]

One gets drop-kicked into the !!partridge in a pear tree!! by the possessed porkchop on its way to the workshops.

The rest look in awe at the randomness of the occurence,then notice a refried bean sandwhich...

*writer has been struck down*
*Sentient computer eats writer's head*

[Strife26]

The goblins start to say something, but screams from someone being eaten drown the goblegok out. Suddenally and argument breaks out among the gobos. They point at the sandwich and chatter when . . .

[Kilowatt]

They stop speaking, run around panickedly like they have no clue what's going on, stop immediately, and unfreeze a few moments  later then proceed to jump into the carp infested river.

*Urist McGobbo Has been struck down*
*Gobby Stupidhead has been struck down*
*blah*

One carp, however, refrains from the carnage and loks at the sandwich...