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[Cthulhu]

((Apparently like three people posted in the time it took me to post once.))

[ May 21, 2008: Message edited by: Cthulhu ]

[Xotes]

And that Jreengus was instead a dwarf, who suddenly goes into a fey mood!

[ May 21, 2008: Message edited by: Xotes ]

[Jualin]

... And begins work on a mysterious construction! Snoopicus takes this moment to snatch the sandwich from the side of the distracted dwarf, and run to the dining room of the place, where...

[RPharazon]

A Stray War Dog barks at him and strangely gets mashed into a fine paste by a falling statue!

Snoopicus shrugs and takes a seat on the Kaolinite Throne, and lays the Ham Sandwich on the *Flint Table*.

He yawns, and tries to take a bite when...

[dresdor]

Someone pulls the lever, and the whole room collapses.  When Snoopicus comes to, he is wearing a kobold leather knapsack in which the sandwhich residesm, howevere both of his hands have been broken.  He screams in pain when....

[Fox-Of-Doom]

... he realizes that he cannot grab his sandwich, and he is STARVING. He is desperately attempting to take the sandwich out and devour it without assistance from his upper limbs when a swarm of sandwich-eating rats is disturbed...

[Dwarfaholic]

They all stop and gaze into the backpack. Suddenly, and without warning, they all spontaneously combust. Snoopicus is left with a nice, cozy fire. He decides to try eating the yummy sammich with his legs when...

[Snoopicus]

Dresdor walks in and says "Hey! That looks like a great Ham Sandwich! Mind sharing?"

Snoopicus looks up and gleefully says...

[weirdbeard]

..."no", before attempting to bludgeon Dresdor to death, with his sandwich - which he wields between his feet. Then...

[ May 23, 2008: Message edited by: weirdbeard ]

[RPharazon]

The ham sandwich tumbles around, entirely intact and not at all falling apart.
It falls into the hands of Bob, a rather oddly-named Dwarf, who specialized in sandwich construction.

Upon seeing this apparently artifact-quality sandwich, he immediately starts to salivate and crave the delicious meat and bread combination. He opens his mouth and starts moving the sandwich towards his mouth when...

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

...Snoopicus does a triple-backflipping barrel rolling satchel attack, and Bob's head flies off in a bloody arc, destroying a huge tower and killing 50 dwarves. Snoopicus hobbles over to his sandwich, and picks up the sandwich.

[Kidiri]

Only to realize, he's been interrupted by a goblin ambush. The leader of which, gibbering in it's own weird language, explodes in gore. The other goblins look to the bloody remains of their CO and to the sandwich, only to follow his command. Snoopicus, amazed about these occurrences, brings the tuna sandwich-

[Snoopicus]

Wait... Tuna Sandwich?

Snoopicus has picked up the wrong sandwich! That damn sandwich maker must have made the swap! Snoopicus shakes his fist in rage as the kobold horde decends upon him, his last thoughts being that it was a shame to die hungry.

Meanwhile, Kug the Kobold sneaks out the front entrance of the fortress, carrying a very special satchel with the ham sandwich of Life of Death contained safely inside. He was just thinking about reaching into the satchel to take a bite of the sandwich when...

[Armok]

... he ascends to godhood and no longer needs to eat.

[RPharazon]

The sandwich, being left behind when the kobold ascended into immortality, is neglected for a season outside of the fort due to the overseer's reckless use of the Designate Forbid command. Luckily, its legendary nature means that it did not go bad or rot in the meantime.

A human trader, in their yearly caravan runs, stumbles upon the sandwich when arriving at the depot. He feels a bit hungry, so he disregards the fact that it's an apparently-old sandwich and begins to take a bite...