Right. Looks like a kobold bugflinger gets the vote. Enter, Glibitikusree!
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It was a hot day on the forth of Timber, but for Glibitikusree it was just a hot day. Having no knowledge of the standardized dwarven calendar, Glib was unaware that it was officially late autumn, when the weather should've been cooling down to more reasonable levels.
Glib scratched his hide and took a drink from the nearby stream. He had decided a few days previously to conquer the world, but he was as of yet unsure of what all that entailed or where he should start.
He noticed a beetle crawling around on one of the river-smoothed rocks and picked it up out of habit. The creature squirmed inagitation at first, and then settled down contentedly on the kobold's forearm.
Glib sighed wistfully. This harmless insect wasn't anything like the bugs that lived in his cave. Great, oozing things with spiny protrusions and pores that seeped the most vile of poisons, creatures that scared the townsfolk away.
He sat down and stuck his feet into the stream, letting the cold water counteract the effects of the senselessly hot sun. While he sat, a worm crawled out of the ground and up his arm, eventually settling itself inside Glib's armpit. Kobolds are innately connected with bugs in ways that have baffled researchers for some time. Kobolds view all things crawling and creeping as kindred, and the bugs feel the same way about kobolds.
Eventually, Glib picked himself up from his sitting position and began walking downstream. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew that he wasn't going to get there by just sitting around.
He had been walking along the stream's bank, sometimes stepping in to cool himself off, when he heard a loud rumbling noise. He ducked underneath the nearest rock he could find, a decision made by the kobold instinct to hide at every possible opportunity.
The sound, however, did not come closer. Nor did it go away. Glib waited for a few moments and then stuck his head out to see what was going on. Eventually, he clambered out of his hiding place and went of to investigate, a decision made by the kobold trait of irrepressible curiosity.
The sound came from farther downstream, and when he finally came to its source he was slightly crestfallen. The stream, for all its gentle trickling nature, was plummeting downwards off a very high cliff.
The area ahead was a maze of plateaus, large outcroppings of rock, and generally unsafe-looking crags. Unsafe-looking, that is, to a person acquainted with the outdoors. Glib thought nothing of the potential hazards, and bravely traversed the precarious spires and unstable shelves through sheer force of ignorance.
As night fell, he made his way across the treacherous terrain and plopped himself down on the floor of the canyon, where the stream had grown from various other trickling water sources and had grown into a full river. Glib went over to continue walking alongside it when he noticed something. Underneath the water's surface a shiny form was lazily trailing about.
Glib wasn't exactly knowledgeable in the field of water-dwelling creatures, but he had been told of nasty things coming out of cave water and eating young kobolds. He backed away slowly and settled for following the river's path from a greater distance, always wary should something jump out and try to gobble him up.
He carried along like that for some time, until his attention wandered and he lost track of the river. Once he noticed that he was nowhere near any source of water, let alone a flowing river, he shrugged his bony shoulders and kept on in what he assumed was the direction the river had been going.
The turned out to be a roughly East-Northeast direction. The river had been flowing due North until it turned West, but Glib had wandered off in what only madmen would consider a straight line, and even after he had set himself to a specific direction he was incapable of following it exactly.
He continued in this psuedo-direction for some time until his sensitive nose picked up a particularly pungent odor. He crouched down and began skittering around under what little cover he could find, and eventually came across the source of the smell.
A jaguar, unnaturally large, lay on the hard-packed ground ahead of him. For a moment, Glib was overcome with fear at such a large creature and could do nothing but sit and look at it. His initial response was the generic kobold reaction; when in doubt, run away.
However, Glib steadied himself and remembered that he had come out into the world to do something amazing, not run away from something amazingly huge. He began plotting methods of dealing with the large feline ahead of him, but he found it dificult with the worm in his armpit squirming around as it was.
The worm. Glib's amber eyes lit up and his small teeth gleamed in a mischievous grin as his impish nature took over from the more cowardly -and the more dangerous- aspects.
The great cat slept soundly, utterly unaware of the highly embarassing events to follow...
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This shall be continued shortly. It's 10:36, and it's time for me to have some breakfast. Back in a bit.
Author
Topic: Death and Glory! (Read 58256 times)