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Author Topic: Death and Glory!  (Read 58259 times)

Kogan Loloklam

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #195 on: March 25, 2008, 11:28:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by Sean Mirrsen:
<STRONG>Kogan: The ocean is to the north, so that's somewhat unlikely.   ;)</STRONG>

I am aware that the ocean is north, but I'm sure there's elf-lands even further north. He can swim to them and kill them!

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... if someone dies TOUGH LUCK. YOU SHOULD HAVE PAYED ATTENTION DURING ALL THE DAMNED DODGING DEMONSTRATIONS!

Kagus

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #196 on: March 25, 2008, 11:35:00 pm »

Elves are Southeast.  And don't even think about telling him to go swimming, ocean swimming is the most tedious thing this game has to offer, and he'll most likely die of thirst before he even reaches the quarter-way point.


And I figured I'd find something for him to train up on before chucking him to the elves, so that he could get massively high shield user skill and just flick their pansy arrows aside before bringing his hammer down on some pansy elf skulls.  If I don't do that, the whole fight will last six seconds as he gets eviscerated by elven drill-arrows.

Kogan Loloklam

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #197 on: March 26, 2008, 02:45:00 am »

quote:
Originally posted by Kagus:
<STRONG>And don't even think about telling him to go swimming, ocean swimming is the most tedious thing this game has to offer, and he'll most likely die of thirst before he even reaches the quarter-way point.
</STRONG>

But I did, remember?

D) NORTH!

;)

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... if someone dies TOUGH LUCK. YOU SHOULD HAVE PAYED ATTENTION DURING ALL THE DAMNED DODGING DEMONSTRATIONS!

Kagus

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #198 on: March 26, 2008, 03:13:00 am »

quote:
Originally posted by Kogan Loloklam:
<STRONG>
But I did, remember?

D) NORTH!

 ;)</STRONG>



quote:
Originally thought by Sibrek Smashmaster:

<STRONG>Standing atop the Hill of Sourness and looking out across the crashing waves, he realized that deep within his very core, he really didn't need to go swimming for hours on end in those waters in search of a single shark.  He had never been to an ocean, but he felt exactly this way nonetheless.
</STRONG>



In other news, the study group is here.  No DF until they leave, I can't risk it.  Updates may be a while in coming.

DoctrZombie

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #199 on: March 26, 2008, 08:41:00 am »

my vote is still for D)Elves.

In unrelated news, I place a bet of +Ratman skull totem+ from Nokzamoslan and two gold nuggets from Cold Palace that our hero gets shot to death by elf arrows =D

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Akroma

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #200 on: March 26, 2008, 08:45:00 am »

I vote a set of +Elk bone bolts+ from Nist Akath that he manages to kill at least 2 bowmen
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Sean Mirrsen

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #201 on: March 26, 2008, 11:16:00 am »

Kagus, can you tell us the shield-wielding skill and the agility of the contender? Because, given the circumstances regarding elves in my mod, he's as good as shot without a decent block rate...

That said, I put the same ettin bone greatsword on being decapitated by a slashing arrow.

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Kagus

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #202 on: March 26, 2008, 12:01:00 pm »

He is a talented shield user, but all his stats are bunched up into strength, thus earning him the title of "mighty".  I really did mean "splattered" when referring to that lamprey.


I'd rather wander around for a bit and get the shield skill up, as well as some wrestling to help jump away.  I've seen what those arrows can do, and I have no intention of falling to the first one that gets shot.

But, this is an adventurer that aims to please the audience, not the  coordinator.  I tell him to do what you tell me to do.

Dark

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #203 on: March 26, 2008, 12:27:00 pm »

I vote D, through the fourth wall.
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Kagus

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #204 on: March 28, 2008, 12:13:00 am »

I think I'm gonna leave the fourth wall relatively intact, at least for now...  A kobold might be given the chance to look through, but this dwarf is too caught up with the absurdities of his own world to break down that barrier.

I am declaring today as my day off.  I am not going to update any threads unless I really feel like it.  This includes the Woodsman, Death and Glory!, Roariron, and Battle of the Gods.  Otherwise, I'm just going to be sitting here and playing Conquest of Elysium II, and the UnReal World demo (goddamn ten-day time limit... Can't do anything in that time...).


Yep.  Gonna relax for a bit.  Why?  Because I feel like it.  Why am I posting this in this thread?  Because this thread has the most activity on it of all the threads I listed, and I don't feel like making a new thread saying I won't be updating the other threads for today.  

Well, it's not like I won't update them, it's just that I won't make an effort to update them.  If I feel like it, then I'll do something.  Otherwise, no-go.


And no, this isn't going to become a regular thing.  I just want to kick back for a bit instead of worrying about four threads plus one neglected modification.  You needn't mark down friday as my day of rest.  Not that you'd do that anyways, but y'know...  In case you would have...  Best to be safe, you see...

Kagus

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #205 on: March 29, 2008, 04:12:00 am »

Whee, I'm back.  Westward HO!


.


Sibrek started to make his way West around the inland sea.  More of the mountainhomes lay to the west, so he would always have a safe-ish retreat to his side.

Some distance along, Sibrek encountered a group of wolves.  Without further thought he launched himself at the pack leader (who happened to be eating some grass at the time) and landed a mighty blow to the canine's chest, crushing one of its lungs underneath the flesh.

While the pack leader struggled to gag down a breath of air through one working lung and a mouthful of grass, the other members of the pack charged Sibrek, leaping at his throat with bared fangs.

Summoning all of his great strength, Sibrek mashed his hammer into the back of a second wolf, shatter the spine and causing yet another lung to be rendered unusable, this time due to bone fragments.

More wolves began to swarm about Sibrek, and one of them sank its teeth into soft flesh of Sibrek's right buttock.  With a howl of pain not unlike the howls of a wolf, Sibrek managed to loosen the grip of the beast by banging it on the head repeatedly.  This was Sibrek's way of dealing with most things, and it never failed to yield results. When in doubt, bang it on the head a few times.

As more wolves pile onto him, Sibrek is forced down to the ground.  With a valiant heave, he propelled himself upwards and blasted the torso of one of the wolves to smithereens.  As small intestinal tidbits spattered the ground, Sibrek turned to face an oncoming wolf, but did so too late.  The creature leapt at his face and bit down hard, tearing Sibrek's right eye from its socket.  It then adjusted its grip to hang on by Sibrek's bearded throat as the eyeball's attaching cords dangled limply from the beast's maw.

Sibrek felt the pain rising into his head and clouding his thoughts, but he would not let it overtake him!  He thrust his hammer into the wolf's stomach, and the crackling noise of a myriad of small bones accompanied his efforts.  The wolf, now truly gutless, immiediately slackened its grip.  It could do nothing else, as the pain was too great a shock for any kind of directed thought to be allowed.

With another great bellow, Sibrek brought his hammer down on one of the creature's front legs, smearing it into a vaguely leg-like puddle on the ground.  A wolf tried to attack him from the side, but Sibrek turned and used the momentum of the turn to blast the creature into a nearby tree, causing it to splatter around it in a fountain of splishy-bits.

After incapacitating the rest of the pack, Sibrek turned his attention to the one that had torn out his cherished eye.

He put his hammer on the ground, and reached out towards the wolf with his hand.  As he grabbed onto the creature's head, he cried out "AN EYE FOR AN EYE!" and plunged his armored fingers into the wolf's right socket, neatly plucking out the beast's right eye.


But this was not enough to satisfy the rage of Sibrek Smashmaster.  He grabbed the beast by the scruff of its neck and hurled it on top of the nearest tree, which happened to be a larch.  Sibrek had always liked the larch.  The larch had been the third tree he had learned the name of, and he was able to identify them from quite a long ways off.

After setting the wolf firmly on top of the larch, Sibrek collected a few branches and set the tree on fire.


And so, after completing that final task of retribution, Sibrek continued on his journey one eye and quite a lot of blood lighter.  He turned back to look at the burning tree with the wolf draped over the upper branched with his good eye, and spat on the ground before moving on again.  The wolf's eye was tucked safely into a pocket, in case he ever needed it.

Lemnx

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #206 on: March 29, 2008, 11:41:00 am »

Heh. Eye gouging: my favorite gouging!
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Kogan Loloklam

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #207 on: March 29, 2008, 01:08:00 pm »

too bad you can't craft an eye-patch using the wolf's eye. That would be cool, wolf's eye patch. "This Eyepatch is of exceptional quality. It menaces with spikes of Dwarf Bone"
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Draco18s

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #208 on: March 30, 2008, 06:28:00 pm »

Wild animals are so freaking dangerous. D:

Well, at least he's alive so he can die to the hoards of Elves and their evil bows.

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Kagus

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Re: Death and Glory!
« Reply #209 on: April 01, 2008, 07:47:00 am »

Movin' right along...


.


After continuing on his quest for something-or-other, Sibrek took thirty-nine steps to the North when a black bear leapt out of the woods and attacked him.

Sibrek charged at the beast, and they rolled together on the ground for a bi before the bear stood up above him.  Sibrek had just managed to crawl out from under the bear's feet when it lashed out at him.  With a quick roll and a quicker arm, Sibrek deflected the bear's paw and used the earned time to launch a countrstrike, breaking the creature's tuft of a tail.

It howled with pain and confusion, and struck out at Sibrek once more, only to find that its rear paw had ben stomped into a paste by the dwarf's hammer.

Unable to 'bear' the pain of having its paw and its tail destroyed, the beast collapsed into unconsciousness.

Once it hit the ground, Sibrek walked over, grabbed the beast, and shattered its spine with a few twitches of his mighty muscles.  The crippled bear simply sat there, as one might expect of something incapable of moving, while Sibrek tore its eyes out, broke its neck, and then strangled it.  Just to make sure, he then hurled the corpse off a cliff.

Sibrek patted his hands together to get some of the grime off them, and then started walking North around the inland sea again.

Thirty-nine steps later, a grizzly bear popped out of the foliage and challenged him with a tree-quivering roar.

Sibrek, noting that the temperature was a little bit cool, set one of the nearby trees on fire and stood nearby, warming his rump while waiting for the bear to catch up to him.

The bear, either not knowing what fire was or just too focused to care, trudged through the burning undergrowth and stood in it while it bellowed at Sibrek again.  Sibrek calmly grabbed the bear's right ear.

It growled, and then charged into Sibrek, bowling him over.  Sibrek remembered his hammer at this point, ad used it to obliterate the creature's left hind leg.  He then sat and entertained himself by blocking the bear's strikes at him, before having a lucky paw strike come in behind his shield and disembowl him.

He fell unconscious from the pain for a moment, and awoke some time later to see that the bear had removed his arms, lungs, and spine.  He promptly died.

But, as he toppled over in death, Sibrek Smashmaster noted that the bear had been standing too close to the fire and was now burning merrily.  That was some consolation, at least.


.


Well, that sure lasted long.

Should we retry the hammerdwarf, or go for something new?  Perhaps we should get a run-down from Sean as to what weapons are more powerful than others.  And, there's always the ever-popular wrestling.

But in the meantime, I think I'll update to the new version of the MA+ mod.  Bye-bye Jadugarr world, but I think we can cook up some new stories.

And some new adventurers who last more than two updates.  Maybe.

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