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[Languidiir]

Starting new, real Tacticus game, since the old one is a bit dead.

Using the Pantshelm-Jorundr rule set, which states that gentlemen don't have to use barons and baronesses.

Now, in this game, I want real tacticus players. The rules, other than the standard Pantshelm edition, go out like this:

1. Gentlemen do not have to use barons and baronesses.
2. No TV or movie references.
3. No walking over hot coals with a duck on your head while whistling a Dixie song backwards while you paint a picture and neuter a dog.
4. No card-oriented gameplay. Please. Dice is permitted.

'Cite new rules anytime' ruleset goes.

PLAYERS:

-Languidiir
-Duke 2.0
-Qmarx
-Dasleah

AUDIENCE:
-LASD
-A_Fey_Dwarf
-Lord_Frodo

BETS:
-LASD [bet lost]
-A_Fey_Dwarf [bet lost]
-Lord_Frodo [bet: pig tail bag that menaces with iron and mule bone spikes ; spy dwarf dies before waking]

--WATCH THIS POST FOR UPDATES--

To start, I cart up my Bronze Colossus to the front of the fortress in a cage. The wheelbarrow is not crushed because it's made of adamantine.

Meanwhile my sneaky spy dwarf sits on top of the mountain, asleep.

code:

 
.....................z.....
#...####............z....##
##.##||####.......#.@.####,
,###,,,,,,####..#######,,,,
,,,,,@[C],,,,####,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
| - fortress gate
# - cliff face
. - rock surface
, - grassy surface
@ - dwarf
[] - denotes caged creature
C - colossus

I don't ask that you draw maps, but I did just for the hell of it.

Your turn, gentlemen!

[ May 17, 2008: Message edited by: Languidiir ]

[ May 18, 2008: Message edited by: Languidiir ]

[ May 18, 2008: Message edited by: Languidiir ]

[Helmaroc]

Could someone tell me what the heck is TACTICUS and how is it played?  

[Duke 2.0]

I leave my kobolds around the well while in stealth mode, and position my tamed bear in the brewery.

code:

############### 
#...WWW########
#.B.WWW##.k.###
#...WWW###kok##
###.####.k.k.##
...............
##.############
##.############ 

Let the fun begin!

[Languidiir]

I command my dwarf to let loose the Colossus into the fortress.

code:

 
##||###
,~~~,,,
,~@C[],
Urist Cannonfodder cancels Run: Interrupted by Colossus.
Urist Cannonfodder has been struck down.

Oh well.

code:

###..####
###.C####
###..####
###..####
###||####

The Colossus enters the fort.

[ May 16, 2008: Message edited by: Languidiir ]

[InquisitiveIdiot]

quote:Could someone tell me what the heck is TACTICUS and how is it played?

The rules are fairly simple to learn.  Dwarf > elf > goblin > kobold.  Humans are something of a wildcard, depending on their weapons and armor.  The twists come when you factor in exceptions, like kobolds in sneak mode, goblin master thieves and tantruming dwarves.  Points are allocated according to fortress wealth, stockpiled booze and defaced engravings.  Fortress wealth depends partly on caged goblins, goblin cages, and points.

[Languidiir]

quote:Originally posted by InquisitiveIdiot:
<STRONG>The rules are fairly simple to learn.  Dwarf > elf > goblin > kobold.  Humans are something of a wildcard, depending on their weapons and armor.  The twists come when you factor in exceptions, like kobolds in sneak mode, goblin master thieves and tantruming dwarves.  Points are allocated according to fortress wealth, stockpiled booze and defaced engravings.  Fortress wealth depends partly on caged goblins, goblin cages, and points.</STRONG>

What a succinct and wildly innacurate description of Tacticus! I applaud you!

[InquisitiveIdiot]

"Wildly inaccurate?"  You must not be using the new Revised Community Rules edition.  It reverted some revisions of the previous edition, presenting a more refined vision of revision.

[Languidiir]

Tacticus need not be limited to a fortress. Tacticus need not even use dwarves at all. Tacticus is a wild and intangible thing which changes whenever needed. In this case, it's centered around a fortress, but there are no rules or systems in place, other than those you introduce yourself. Also, there aren't any points other than worthless ones you make yourself.

Speaking of that, you're free to bet on the Tacticus game if you're just here to watch.

Example:
"I bet fifteen longnose gar leather codpieces that Urist Forumgoer is going to totally own that elephant."

I'll be keeping a list of contestants and registered watchers (just say you'd like to watch.)

[ May 17, 2008: Message edited by: Languidiir ]

[Kagus]

TACTICUS is the forum equivalent to Calvinball.  There are no rules other than the ones you make up when you're taking your turn.  You generate troops, develop (and use) massive weaponry, and make long and confusing posts citing the sources, revisions, and version numbers of the rule you are invoking to make your move.  And, when in doubt, dance.

I hope that clears things up.

[LASD]

I shall be the first to register as a watcher, but I retain the option of affecting the game, as stated in the "Inclusive TACTICUS Rulebook" by Tirist Dorenmilol.

I also bet my hydra leather backpack containing mule bone greaves (30 hydra bones, 5 mule bones) that the colossus will die in a confusingly stupid way involving 5 sliced and diced kobolds.

[A_Fey_Dwarf]

Oh I do enjoy watching a game or two of tacticus.
*signs up as watcher*

Now for the wager:
Ill bet 2 green glass mug's studded with spikes of green glass that the colossus will not "die in a confusingly stupid way involving 5 sliced and diced kobolds". The colosus will in fact be involved in a chasm orientated cave-in trap.

[Dwarfaholic]

I wish to join the game, as a player.
I bring my Legendary Woodcutter onto the table.
He immediately starts mining out my new fortress, as per the famous "Well, dirt is kinda like trees" rule.

[Qmarx]

I play two legendary masons and set them to making a U of walls 1 z level over the ocean, enclosing the current oceanic play area (in accordance with, of course, the 5-tile rule).  I guard them with a skeletal hammer shark hammerer, which I discard four of the cards I drew at the beginning of my turn to get.

Plans NOT TO SCALE

Lower level:

code:

777777777777777777
777777777777777777
777777777777777777
777777777777777777
777777777777777777
777777777777777777
777777777777777777
777777777777777777
777777777777777777

Upper level

code:

##################
.................#
.................#
.................#
.................#
.................#
.................#
.................#
##################

[ May 17, 2008: Message edited by: Qmarx ]

[ May 17, 2008: Message edited by: Qmarx ]

[Dasleah]

Right, I enter the game under the revised 4th Edition Silly-Billy rule (from the Beards: One Thousand and Seven Things To Do With Rampant Facial Hair Rulebook, for those playing at home) that allows me to draw 5 cards per D3 I roll when the Nonsense Level drops below 3 and no characters in play have the Stiff Upper Lip labour enabled.

*rolls Dice, draws Card*

Hmmm, interesting. I place one card face down, in attack position, and discard another to the Stone Stockpile. I then play the Marxist Revolution card, that forces all Nobles in play to be renamed to Bourgeois and suffer a -5 penalty to their Filthy Upper Class Cowardice checks.

I end my turn by activating an Axedwarf, but since the Balls Up rule is activated due to the current Nonsense Level, he picks up a Hammer instead and wanders off to fish.

[Duke 2.0]

Thankfully, I have the MODDER card at my arsenal. I mod my kobolds to NOBREATHE creatures. I have a few of 'em jump into the wall, walking through the water tube to the river. Perhaps I can have 'em assassinate the axedwarf fishing.

Oh, and I have my remaining two kobolds wander around the fortress to cause havoc with levers.