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[Kagus]

Then it's obviously time for the mayor to admire his new floodgate.

[Daniel Charms]

If you like paradoxes that can be put to a test, then there's also Gorgeinsights' 2nd Paradox:

quote:Bomrek sees a kobold thief sprinting down a hallway, 10 spaces ahead of him. He goes after the thief. Now, let us suppose that Bomrek is Perfectly Agile, whereas the thief is barely moving since he just tripped a stone trap which broke his leg. Bomrek will cover 10 spaces in some finite amount of time. The thief, however, will also have moved a bit in this time. It will take Bomrek another finite amount of time to reach the spot where the thief was - but the thief will have moved again. And so on and so on. So Bomrek will never be able to catch the thief.

[Kagus]

I consider that (and the archer's paradox...) to be more along the lines of "incomplete logic", where theory runs wild and passes a very confused physics along the way.  It's like the "a chicken lays eggs, therefore it is a lizard" snippets.

It's something that can sound like a very solid proposal, but would only be applicable in a fantatical environment.  A dreamworld, complete with its own dream logic.

[Kuli]

From the memoirs of Kuli Problemwalled.

I wandered the desert for many days.  I stayed close to rivers and streams as often as I could, not only for the sake of survival but also because of the information that Zoden Zefon was built next to a river.  It became obvious why no one had seen Zoden Zefon for centuries.  The desert was such an inhospitable and desolate place that no ordinary dwarf would survive long enough to find it.  But, I was no ordinary dwarf.  I was on a divine mission and not even the harshest, deadliest environment could stop me.  Constantly I marched on, my determination never wavering, until one day I crested a red sand dune and was suddenly blinded by a brilliant light.  I stopped and rested a while until my sight returned.  Then I looked around cautiously for the source of the light.  What I found was a massive stone wall, and in the middle of it was a large gate of pure silver.

I approached the gate, using my hand to shield my eyes from the dazzling sunlight reflecting off the gate.  The gate was obviously old judging by the dust and sand that had gathered on it, yet the silver remained untarnished.  Truly it must have taken masterful skills to build such a thing and have it be in such good condition after centuries of neglect.  Certainly this had to be the eastern gate of Zoden Zefon.

There being no apparent way to open the silver gate, I began walking around the great stone wall looking for another entrance.  The wall encompassed a very large area and I found two other gates - one of solid gold in the west and another one of bronze in the south.  The bronze gate was larger than the other two and I guessed it to be the main entrance.  Both were firmly shut.  Fortunately I spotted some other structures south of the bronze gate.  One was small and full of debris - it appeared to be nothing more than the ruins of a trade depot.  Further south was a larger structure with an open entrance.  I entered it and found it to be some sort of maze.

Perhaps the maze was a defensive structure for Zoden Zefon and had once been filled with traps, or maybe the fortifications allowed for invaders to be pelted with crossbow bolts or ballista arrows.  Regardless, the maze was now relatively harmless and I wound my way through it ultimately finding a stairway leading underground.  The stairs did not go very deep and led to a tunnel dug into the sand.  I followed the tunnel north for some distance and just when I guessed that I was somewhere beneath the bronze gate I came across a set of stairs leading up.  Filled with excitement, I ran up the stairs eager to see the lost secrets of Zoden Zefon that were hidden behind the great wall.

I gasped.  I stood in the middle of the holiest site in the world and was left breathless.  Zoden Zefon was not a mountainhall.  It was a city, a huge aboveground city built in a manner not unlike that of humans.  I was surrounded by numerous buildings ranging from small stone cottages to tall spires of solid gold.

For some time I stood there, simply taking in the majesty of the city that remained despite centuries of neglect.  There were countless wonders to see in Zoden Zefon, but I have written about them elsewhere and for now I must stay on the subject of my journey.  Eventually I collected my wits and set about exploring the city.  The building that caught my attention first was a large cross-shaped structure that stood in the very heart of the city, and I believed it might be the great temple of Zefon that Master Logem had told me about.  I entered it.

It was no mere temple, but a cathedral!  I marveled at the opulence and beauty of the gold floors, the gem windows, and the exquisitely carved columns.  All of those things, however, seemed cheap and insignificant compared to what I found in the center of the cathedral.  It was a fountain carved out of obsidian with a spout of pure nickel.  The fountain was so simple and so pure, it seemed elegant while making the rest of the cathedral seem crude and unnecessary.  I realized that must have been the architect's intention to create such a juxtaposition.  Certainly this had to be a baptismal fountain.  The people of Zoden Zefon probably came to the cathedral to worship this symbol of rebirth while disdaining the meaningless material wealth around them.

I spent a while praying in the cathedral, but realized I needed to continue exploring.  I came to Zoden Zefon to find something that would restore the faith, but the cathedral appeared to be empty apart from the accumulated debris of time so I needed to move on.

After I had thoroughly explored the aboveground city I returned to the underground tunnels.  It is the custom of our people to engrave our history into stone, and I hoped it to be the same with the dwarves of Zoden Zefon.  Perhaps in the city's history I could find guidance for what I needed to do.  After wandering the tunnels for some time I located a staircase that lead deeper into the sand and ultimately into the bedrock below.

---------------

(I'm splitting this part in two because it was kinda long.  Continued in the next post.

Doesn't make much sense for a Zefonist cathedral to be built like a Christian cathedral, but oh well.  You make what you know.)

[Kuli]

From the memoirs of Kuli Problemwalled.

The stairs brought me to a large chamber in the stone.  The chamber had a familiar look to it and I realized it was just like the vast catacombs back in the mountainhomes.  It seemed that even if they lived above the ground, the dwarves of Zoden Zefon still buried their dead beneath it.  On one of the walls was written these words:

VISITOR, DISTURB NOT OUR BONES.  BY THE GRACE OF ZEFON WE SHALL ONE DAY RISE AGAIN.

Initially I was going to obey those words, but as I thought about it I was overtaken by the desire to see if the dwarves of Zoden Zefon had already been reborn.  Surely if any were worthy of rebirth it was those who lived and worshipped in the House of Zefon.  I went about examining the catacombs, but even though I did not actually open any of the coffins out of respect it was obvious that none of the tombs had been disturbed in centuries.  Clearly the time had not yet come for these dwarves.

There was one more tomb, however, that was set apart from the others.  It was sealed by a magnificent metal door of the highest quality.  I knew there had to be something significant about it, so I slid the door open and entered the tomb.

   

   

The tomb was very large and decorated in a way fit for a king.  The walls and floors were engraved with masterful images, all of them appearing to depict the life of a single dwarf.  This dwarf was dressed as a priest and many of the images showed him presiding over ceremonies in the cathedral above.  Perhaps the dwarf buried there had once been the high priest of the House of Zefon.  In the center of the tomb was a sarcophagus carved from cobaltite.

   

The lid of the sarcophagus was slightly ajar, leaving a sliver through which one might peer inside.  My curiosity got the better of me and I indeed looked through the sliver.  It was too dark to see, however, so I pulled the lid off entirely.  The sarcophagus was utterly empty.  

I have no way of knowing if the high priest was actually reborn.  Perhaps the grave had been robbed and the body removed at some point.  Maybe the high priest's body never actually made it to the tomb.  There are any number of possible, reasonable explanations, but my faith tells me that this dwarf came back from the dead through Zefon's power and walked out of his own tomb.  I still believe that to this day.

When I was done searching the tombs, I returned to the stairs and descended even deeper into the ground.  Suddenly the stairs came to a stop and I found myself in another chamber.  Hallways led off in all directions and each was lined with doorways leading to large rooms covered in engravings.  This was what I had hoped to find - the Archives.

   

The Archives were vast, and it took me several days to examine the ancient records, surviving on my provisions and only falling asleep on the bare stone floor when I would collapse from exhaustion.  Contained in the Archives was the whole history of Zoden Zefon, of which I unfortunately will not write here for I have already done so elsewhere.  I was greatly inspired by the stories of Zoden Zefon in its days of unbroken peace.

Eventually I came to what was apparently the last chamber that had been engraved, and there I found some indication of how Zoden Zefon came to its end:

   

The dwarves of Zoden Zefon were very peaceful, perhaps too peaceful for their own good.  The records indicated they fended off a small goblin attack, but it seems likely that the goblins returned in much greater numbers and wiped out the city.  Strangely, many valuable items remained among the ruins, meaning that the goblins did not loot the city.  Was their only goal simply to destroy the House of Zefon?

There was one engraving that caused me to shudder with horror:

   

Master Logem had told me of such beings, demons that pretended to be gods and perverted nature for their own ends.  It seemed the dwarves of Zoden Zefon knew of some demons and clearly depicted them as enemies.

Next to the demon's image was written these words in a crude, almost childish scrawl:

OlsMo LiVEs!

Something about those words filled me with dread.  Was Olsmo the demon depicted?  Was he the one who sent the goblins to destroy Zoden Zefon?  At that time I knew nothing for certain about this entity, though there were many things I suspected that I discovered the truth about later in my life.

Eventually I returned to the surface.  Although I had learned many things at Zoden Zefon, I still had not found the divine inspiration that Master Logem had told me to seek in order to restore the faith.  My plan, then, was to return to the mountainhomes and bring together as many Zefonists as I could find and take them to Zoden Zefon, and hopefully something would be accomplished by that.  

Before departing, I returned to the cathedral to pray one last time.  As I kneeled at the fountain, something behind it caught my attention.  There was a glimmer of metal not belonging to the golden floor.  I approached it and found a small altar, and on it was something that nearly caused the metalsmith within me to die of surprise.

   

It was adamantine, that rarest and most powerful of metals, shaped into a masterfully made sword and spear.  How could I have missed such a thing before?  I picked up the sword and admired it in great detail.  I was torn by various desires, should I take these precious artifacts for myself, or should I leave them in the House of Zefon?  Before I came to a decision, I happened to notice a message carved into the altar:

Take these to fight evil and defend faith.

Instantly, as if struck by lightning, I was overcome with an intense feeling and I knew exactly what I needed to do.

---------------

(Are the images showing up?  Please tell me if they aren't.

I love that door.  It has an image of itself on itself twice.  By the way, laconium is a metal I modded in.  Pay it no attention.

I also love the name of that coffin.  I wish I could have buried someone in it who fell into a trap where he was stabbed, burned, and drowned at the same time.)

[ May 14, 2008: Message edited by: Kuli ]

[ May 14, 2008: Message edited by: Kuli ]

[Heavy Flak]

quote:Originally posted by Kuli:
<STRONG>From the memoirs of Kuli Problemwalled.
...awesome story follows...
</STRONG>

Oh wow.  This is absolutely fantastic!  The amount of detail you put into Kuli's backstory is stunning.

[ May 14, 2008: Message edited by: Heavy Flak ]

[ricemastah]

Damn! That was awesome! This thread rocks! Not only do we have an awesome story going on we also have a really cool and extremely detailed background for one of the characters!

[Heavy Flak]

From the journal of Johnny Fountainspring
20th of Felsite, 1061

The construction of the union hall has gone much faster than I thought possible.  Perhaps this was just what was needed to finally snap the populace out of their long-lasting funk: a project revolving around unity and togetherness.

Ugh.  

I've made a simple sketch of the room proper, complete with the statues for each proper union:
   

Clockwise, from bottom left to bottom right:
* This is a well crafted gabbro statue, adorned with rings of citrine and spikes of tigerseye.  This was constructed by Istrath and the Jewelers Union, and is in the shape of his family line - the Leopardknight.  

* This is a gabbro statue encircled with bands of seahorse bone, and adorned with hanging rings of char bone.  I, and those in Fountainspring Fisheries, put this together in the form of some hideous mermaid.  

* This Obsidian Statue menaces with spikes of two-humped camel bone.  Akroma wanted to cover it with grinning skulls, but eventually was talked out of this route for fear of scaring those who might come in at night.

* This is an iron statue, decorated with well-crafted two humped camel bones.  Kuli and Vash designed this statue, symbolizing the iron will of Dwarves in their constant fight against the corrupted souls that wander our wastes.

* This is a masterfully designed Basalt statue.  It's in the shape of an obelisk... Archin and the miners artistic design showing OH so well.

* This is a well-crafted brass statue.  On the statue is a picture of toy boats.  Rice said it was either toy boats, or Erith was going to cover the statue in engravings of Sulari despite the uproar it would cause.

* This is an iron statue, menacing with spikes of well-crafted steel.  Lucy and her crew lovingly crafted it in the shape of a large gear, each spoke represented by the large steel spikes - the only magma proof object in the fort.

Even I have to admit, this is a very nice tribute to the hard work put forward by our citizens.  While this was admired, it was asked why the carpenters union wasn't represented with a statue.

"We have a Carpenters Union?" came the puzzled reply.

For some reason, Dodik-Come-Lately left the whole affair more pouty than normal. Oh well, one less Dwarf at a party means one more drink for me.

[ May 15, 2008: Message edited by: Heavy Flak ]

[IronValley]

Would it be too late to request a dwarf?

Preferably a male Hammerdwarf with a sense of duty, or that strives for excellence.

Call him Merkil

(Oh, and would it be possible to be assigned to pump for a season or two, to atleast get tough and agile?)

[Akroma]

yay, a statue as tribute for my union  

I can't wait to travel here as an adventurer

[Electrum]

This thread is made of spun awesome, and it gets more impressive and diverse every time I look away. You're a rockstar, Kuli.

***

Varen trailed another glance along the parched lands of the Least Waste, squinting against the red sand carried by the stiff easterly wind. Thankfully, his Akroma-issued ornamented ≡two-humped camel bone horn≡ doubled as a spyglass, keeping the worst of it away. No towering, bellowing forms crested the horizon, still no cause for alarm. He expected something to show up, perhaps a surge of greenskins to come and taint the inauguration of the little guildhall, proud symbols of our unity and commitment to improving our lot in life.

It seemed like only weeks ago that he'd arrived here, some kid fresh from Enogmigrur, and nowadays, he was one of the fort's great protectors. People greeted him in the corridors, he was respected for who he was and what he did. He was sure to be kind to others, and to flex or drum his spearshaft on his shield to impress the little ones. Hah, doesn't every dwarf child want to be a soldier when he grows up? He smiled, his mind feeling remarkably clear.

Nothing stirred as the hours drew on into night, no-one dared interrupt our festivities. Varen, stalwart defender of the fortress, yawned pleasantly and retired to his bunk. He filled an hour before sleep sketching spearblades on his stationery, mangling the perspective on huge hands dropping from the sky.

[Heavy Flak]

From the files of Aryn Estetar
6th of Hematite, 1061

A new tax collector showed up at the beginning of the summer.  The first words out of her mouth were, "I don't know how the last Tax Collector could run this place so poorly but things are about to change around here."

I'm not really sure about everything she said in the middle, but the last thing she said to me was, "Oh God oh please, oh God, don't pull that lever, of God, I won't collect any taxes I won't send anything back I won't make any reports, plleeeeaaaassssee"

the idiot had to be carried away from Sgt. Pepper's Magma Drop and she's yet to leave her room.  I have no problem with this.  As was told to the duchess: Everyone works, no one quits.  Unskilled in anything else, they've taken to just hauling goods, and stones, and deconstructing scaffolding and temporary floors.  But the second they stop performing is the day they take The Big Plunge...

I've been trying my hardest to avoid Bertrand.  That old fool gives me the heebeejeebees, and I've had to alter my schedule to avoid him in the drink line.  He had the audacity to come into my office - and AFTER Rice and his crew expanded his already spacious living quarters - practically demand of me that an alchemy lab be constructed.

"I've been alive a very long time, Mr. Estetar," the fool slurred at me.  "And in this time I've come across some very important discoveries.  I need workshop space.  I can better our lives."

I signed off the order immediately to get him out of my office, then spent the next hour washing my hands in the basin.  Yeech.  Perhaps this workshop will keep him away from me.  Perhaps I need Mayor Likot to have a word with him...

[Heavy Flak]

An Excerpt from the Tale of Migrursut
ACT II
SCENE II - The Fortress Exterior

ENTER ROSYCATS, GUILDSTERN, MERCHANT PRINCESS NATIONTEMPT

ROSYCATS
I propose we play a game, until our goods have fully arrived to the depot
GUILDSTERN
Of course, dear friend.  What do you offer?
ROSYCATS
I say a sporting game of questions.
GUILDSTERN
Questions!  Well then, alright.  But why did you pick that game?
ROSYCATS
There's nothing else to play with, we brought no cards this go-round.
GUILDSTERN
Ha!  Foul!  Statement, My point and serve; one to zero.  Can you believe this heat?
ROSYCATS
I- how do the Dwarves survive it?
GUILDSTERN
In, ahh, in thei-
ROSYCATS
Foul.  Hesitation, one to one.  How much did Aryn pay you?
GUILDSTERN
Pay me for what?
ROSYCATS
Did you forget what you did for him?
GUILDSTERN
Did you not get paid for it?
ROSYCATS
What did I not get paid for?
GUILDSTERN
Was that repetition?
ROSYCATS
What!  No, I hadn't repeated myself.
GUILDSTERN
Ha!  Foul, statement, two to one, my-

ENTER VAREN, SERGEANT TOWERSACKS

VAREN
I'm sore all over, Sergeant.  How many of the Dread Camels did you count?
SERGEANT TOWERSACKS
Fourteen.  It's no wonder we lost a jeweler, a carpenter, and another miner.  They're growing in numbers, every day.  Sulari is exhausted from taking out fifteen herself, and Sna- the swordsmen have been right ornery since their last shift in leadership.  These spears don't do anything against the walking dead.
VAREN
At least if you can hit them between the eyes they usually go down.  Those bones must have been preserved in this desert heat, sometimes my spear would bounce off their skulls entirely...

EXIT VAREN, SERGEANT TOWERSACKS

GUILDSTERN
I think there's something rotten in the state of Stukos Matul
ROSYCATS
...I often wonder why I bother traveling with you, you fool

EXIT ROSYCATS

[Daniel Charms]

Hey, I thought these guys were dead?

[Edit] This was excellent, by the way.

[ May 16, 2008: Message edited by: Daniel Charms ]

[Heavy Flak]

IronValley: You got it.  I'll have to wait for the next batch of migrants though, currently all the hammerers we have are female.  For some reason, it seems this world is a real matriarchy; Duchesses, female hammerers, female axe-swingers, a Queen in charge; the merchant princess ... it's enough to drive a guy mad, I'll tell you.  I'll have an iron pump or two set up in the barracks for cardio training and a stronger, sexier core.