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[Jim Groovester]

Oh, boy. Another Duke. How many is that now?

I wonder what eccentricities this couple will have.

[Heavy Flak]

The events of the 28^th of Slate, 1072



"We're gathered here today," Kuli began, his voice both somber and perplexed, "to pay respects to a Dwarf that... that none of us knew.  A Dwarf - a Noble - who had arrived less than a week ago, who had not yet obtained his room, his clothing, his allowance, his roster sheet..."  Kuli stared at the small, hastily assembled casket in front of him, and at the small crowd of Dwarves gathered around it.

"But... who are we to say that we really know anyone?  Our lives our insular, and though we work in close proximity to each other, we keep our secrets close to the breast.  We might say that we new Duke Bladelabors as well as anyone; he had no time to hide himself behind a wall of secrets, to construct a veil of misanthropy that seems so common among the wastes.  It is a shame - perhaps he would not have.  Perhaps he could have been embraced among the fold, and found the happiness that he sought. 

His death comes as a surprise to all, especially his grieving wife who will succeed him in the Duties of the fort.  With these final words, we will set his body to sink in the magma... as there just was not time to assign him a proper burial room, or even have a proper coffin constructed before his passing.  And now, if you would, a moment of silence, to pay ... uh, respects, to this Dwarf that lays before us."

***

OOC: I honestly didn't kill him.  Seriously!  I had a construction-removal task queued up and he got blown off the side from the collapse. 

[Jim Groovester]

The journal of Hikan Riddlewire, entry for 28th Slate, 1072.

Aryn works fast. No sooner than the new Duke had arrived than he becomes involved in an 'accident'. When I asked him about it, he lied so convincingly I almost believed him.

Aryn is crafty and cunning, but this is impressive, even for him.

[Argonnek]

Riiiiiiight, the Duke just "happened" to have an "accident" involving a collapsing floor. I believe you...[/sarcasm]
Maybe your fortress has gained sentience, noticed a trend of noble deaths, and decided to make things easier on you. You'd better keep an eye on the consort.

[Stravitch]

And here I liked this Duke, he had spunk

[Mephansteras]

Obviously his belief in his own indestructibility is what killed him. 

Mason: We have to be careful, removing the wrong stone will cause the whole section to collapse!
Duke: Nonsense, you're all just cowards. Let me show you how it's done!
*pulls out stone*
*CRUNCH*
Mason: Uh...huh. Yeah, that's kind of what I thought would happen.

[CrackFile]

Hope you weren't hurting for migrants any time soon.

[Knick]

I wonder what eccentricities this couple will have.

Apparently, being wide, tall, and very, very thin.

[Heavy Flak]

Hope you weren't hurting for migrants any time soon.

Sadly, we are ALWAYS hurting for migrants.  It's been a year since we've ever gotten any... but the children are growing up, at least.

And here I liked this Duke, he had spunk

I actually had high hopes for him, and wanted him to be some... hard-assed, scared of nothing, good noble.  And instead, the ass gets himself splatted. 

And a note: Heavy Flak got himself a job, so updates are sadly going to be cut down again.  I'll try to get out at least 3 a week, maybe more, but eight hours a day cuts into proper time to slack off and write.   ALSO - don't listen to anything Stravitch might say.  I'm not wasting time with Team Fortress 2 and Red Dead Redemption.

[Stravitch]

He is wasting time on Team Fortress 2 and Red Dead Redemption.

[Bormok, God of Mud]

Preposterous, it's impossible to waste time on Team Fortress 2.

[Heavy Flak]

The events of the 10^th of Hematite, 1072

Crispin waddled into the barracks, her arms stuck out at her sides for balance.  The others slowed in their training, and eventually stopped, watching the mother of six ponderously enter the sparing grounds.  Her husband, Luke, was behind her, his arms held out to keep her steady and prevent her from tipping over.  Most of her upper body - her chest, her back, her shoulders, were covered in laughing, flapping children, strapped to her with harnesses and ropes.

"We had another child," Luke explained.  His usual excitement seemed to be tempered a tad.  "Lovey is birthing them like clockwork."
"At this rate, we'll be able to field our own otad-biban team," Crispin  added brightly, not at all bothered by her husbands lack of enthusiasm.  "What a show that would be."

Merkil weighed the situation in silence for a moment.  Eventually, he said, "While I understand the merits of a large family, perhaps you're overdoing it a bit."
"Jools had a family just as large, if not larger," Crispin pointed out.
"He did - and I wasn't in charge then to say anything about it."

"You know," Wilber said, slowly running a hand along the wide brim of his hat.  "Their collective is intriguing; armored by her very kin, skin protected from sinful hits and crit-ical strikes... the likes of which we've rarely seen, ben-eath the beating of that cursed sun."

The soldiers gaped at Wilber.  As if confused himself, he doffed his wide-brimmed cap, the feather he had stuck in the side wiggling jauntily, "I had Makrond make it, from love and leftovers."

"No more," Merkil said, attempting to gain control once more.  "Really, no more, this will just lead to travesty.  You've already had one die, and one has grown up, but if they are taken to battle, I fear for the worst.  For all of you.  No.  More!"

[CrackFile]

Reminds me of every baroness ever

[Mephansteras]

Wait, six babies? That doesn't make any sense. Six kids, yeah, but children run around on their own after a year.

[Jim Groovester]

It's funnier if she has a layer of infant armor.