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[sonerohi]

Viva la revolution!!

[Kuli]

Edit: Does Kuli know Kib died?

Probably not yet, but I imagine he'll find out soon enough.

Good to have my dwarf back on the outside.  Now I'll be able to write journal entries again.

[Heavy Flak]

Can all of your loyal fans receive free e-versions?

Heh, well, I'm not sure what the likelyhood that I'll get published is, especially in a terrible economy.  But hey, perhaps I can find the right agent who loves odd books.  Point is, I've already decided the only fair way to do it is to make up a special cryptogram for you guys, and the first two (or five, or whatever) to solve it, I'll mail them a signed copy and some crayon drawings.

Also, don't get your hopes up that this will happen any time soon.  Agents are the first step, from there it's publishers, from there it's getting published.  But I'll always keep you guys... in my heart.

<cue studio audience>
Awwwwwh!

[Eita]

Ooh! Can I just get the crayon drawings!

[CanadianWolverine]

OOC: Hmm, why would we need a e-novel? Lets see if I remember my terms right, he could do a synopsis. Or he could share his favorite chapter, that would build interest, right? Sometimes, you need to build the market audience before you get the publishing deal, sorta like a guarantee of this many copies sold in the publishers eyes because you have an established fan base. I remember other authors trying similar things and one of my favorite authors, Matt Reilly, self published his first book I believe. Do you have a website that you use to promote yourself and your stories, HK?

[Heavy Flak]

CanadianWolverine: I've been doing a lot of research about this, and the way to go (for me at least) looks like it falls in this order -

1) Get an Agent.  Agent's are wonderful because they handle many of the day-to-day stresses for you.  Talking to publishers, handling contracts, dealing with merchandising, and sometimes setting up publicity events.  Agents generally take 15% of the royalties you make (and 20% or more for international deals), which is fine - their salary comes from selling the author, so they work harder to get better deals.
2) Query the publisher yourself.  You cut out the middleman of the agent and save the 15% on your royalties.  You also have more control on where your book is sent.  But you need a lawyer to look over the contracts, and you have to go through the whole process again with the next book, and the next, and the next... though having a few under your belt makes you look more desirable to Agents who would be more likely to pick you up when they see you're not just a flash in the pan.
3) Self Publishing is quick and easy, and generally something like... print on demand, or vanity presses, or whatever.  They're last on the list because there is still a large stigma against them in the industry.  This can be bad because self publishing is still publishing - Publishers won't touch that book with a ten foot pole since it's already been "printed" by another "publisher", and Agents turn up their noses to people who don't follow proper decorum.  The main reason being, it's incredibly difficult to separate the Wheat from the Chaff.  Sure, it happens, but the odds are pretty against you.

Once I stop being lazy I'm going to put together a couple websites, but... perhaps I'll post synopsis, or a sample chapter here at some point. 

[Heavy Flak]

The events of the 16^th of Galena, 1067

Many of the fortress children gathered around the body laying out on the stones.  Grov-14 was there, inexplicably, because according to Mayor Ineth the child had vanished into the sunset and a few of the others had seen Grov impaled on some spikes by Glacies during a botching trick.  But they didn't really say anything, they had more important things to do.  Like watch the body on the stones.


The human had been laying there for weeks now, ever since the merchants left the fortress.  The pool of blood he had been laying in had baked into the stone, and into his armor, and rolling around on the the hot stones had eventually cauterized the wound at his shoulder - the one where his arm had once been.

A patchy beard was growing on his face, and he had gone from red to brown in color, the sun having burnt and dehydrated his skin something awful.  Every now and then he would sit up with a start and begin to croak "Water!  Please, water, help..." and try to stand up before he would pass out again, cracking his skull on the floor, and the children would all laugh and clap and occasionally poke him with sticks. 

There was a rush of noise from the main stairs, and a breathless Stonecrafter burst into the afternoon light.  She looked exhausted, and ecstatic, and from her fingers dangled a large amulet swinging from a chain. 


"It's finished!" The stonecrafter cried, "I finally finished!  Oh, happy days... here, you have to see!"

The children gathered around expectantly, but she pushed through the crowd and knelt down beside the human. She gripped his shoulder and shook him hard until he woke with a start, gawking up at her.  "Water" he gasped.
"No, no, Am-u-let," Jotwebe said.  "See?  I made this, and you, of all people, should see it!  Isn't it spectacular?"


"What are... those spikes?" The human croaked.
"Oh, those?  Well, after that nasty Goblin that killed Kib took your arm off when he ran away, I didn't want it to go to waste.  Those are finger bones, and the humerus, ulna and radius, all broken and shaved into these menacing spikes.  I think it really adds to the design."
"I..."
"Yes?" She said eagerly.
"Hate all of you... so damn much..."  And with that he collapsed into unconsciousness once more, cracking his skull on the rocks to the cheer of the children.

"Well," Jotwebe said, turning up her nose.  "I'll just go show Rice then, there's a Dwarf that can appreciate art.'

[Vactor]

good lord, i think this is one of my favorite updates ever

[Mad Larks]

Clearly the human didn't appreciate traditional dwarven artistry, what with its magnicifenct base-line of waste not, want not. What else would he have expected us to do with that arm, huh? Let it sit there and make miasma? I think not! Clearly those land-mongrels have no appreciation for proper dwarven artistry. Tsk tsk.

[Heavy Flak]

The events of the 24^th of Galena, 1067

"Your eminence," Stozu Sinsdesert said quietly.  He bowed low, his robes sweeping out behind him, the tips of his pointed green ears jangling from all the rings that adorned them.   "You have a visitor."
"Please, send him away," High Priest Snamoz said with a dismissive wave of his hand.  "I have no interest in hearing more problems from the workers."

"This..." Stozu said, elongating the S.  "isn't one of our men... he's... very persistent.  He said he has something to discuss with you, and it's of great importance."
"And what is it?"
"He would not say.  Only that it must be discussed with you alone."
"Then send him away.  Secrets are not to be kept in the Temple of Olsmo, from our Great Lord, nor from his mortal proxy."
"I'll tell him, your eminence."

Snamoz lowered his head once more, intent on the papers in front of him.  He made tallies here and there, clacking his tongue as he poured over the notes, his attentions so focused he didn't hear the faint thump from the other room.  There was a soft hiss, and a quick chhhhchnk! and the lock on the door shot into the room, clattering across the floor to land at the priests feet.

Looking up quickly, his eyed widened as he saw a tall Goblin limping into the room, carrying a briefcase and a large cyllinder.  He shuffled over to the desk, and came to a stop, his voice cold and dead.  "High Priest Snamoz.  I have something that might interest you."
"Oh, no, don't-" The priest started, but was silenced as the briefcase was dropped on the desk.  Reaching across to unsnap the clasps, the tall goblin in the jean cloth pulled it open, showing off the gold bars inside.

"The team you sent to retrieve this failed.  I had to lead them to the fortress myself, and took I took it from the Dwarves who held it.  You will see almost all the gold is there.  Four-hundred coins worth are missing, to cover my expenses.  Clothing.  Food.  Medical Care.  Otherwise, the contents are intact."  He closed the lid and pushed the briefcase forward. 
"...And why are you delivering this to me.  Why did you not keep it?"
"I am not interested in that money.  I provide services, and I take what I am paid.  What I have done for you, is a show of good faith.  I have returned your belongings, and in return, I wish you to think of me when you have more problems that need a quick resolution."

High Priest Snamoz lifted the lid to the briefcase once more, staring in at the gold bars that lined the case.  After much consideration, he lowered the lid, and offered a wary smile.  "Perhaps you can be of assistance.  We have a problem.  The wizard Olngo has gone rogue, and taken with him the company of Half-Breed Mercenaries.  He plans to take the Child of the Wastes, some... Limul Leopardknight, and use him to banish Olsmo and fill his place.  He was to be used to increase The Lord of Fire's strength, but since his maturity, he is of no use to my master.  But he can harm him, and this cannot happen.   See to it that Olngo can never capture the child, and I'll see you're paid well."

The goblin gave a little nod, "It will be done."  Turning on his heel, he limped from the Priests office, stepping over the corpse of the retainer in the hallway.  As he rounded the corner, the high priest exhaled hard, slumping in his chair. 

[Heavy Flak]

The events of the 10^th of Limestone, 1067

"Ladies and Gentlemen!  You're attentions, please!  I have today the most wonderful of news!" 

The excitement and drama surrounding the grand opening of the construction site was palpable.  Rinsesilver stood on the bridge in front of the main doors, the large tower jutting into the sky behind her, the top obscured by clouds.  She looked resplendant in her tailored suit and thick gold chain.  To her left stood Lucy in a modest dress, and Mookie, looking sleazy and pleased in her "working outfit".  Madam Dodik beamed like a proud mother, her black ankle-length dress surprisingly tasteful.

Madam Dodik stepped forward, and gave a pleased nod to Rinsesilver.  The lead Dock Worker returned the nod and stepped back, folding her hands in front of her.  "I apologize for being shut so long, but renovations often take a while.  But it should well be worth the wait.  I'm pleased to give you the reopening of Dodik-Come-Lately's.  This tower, situated behind the bridge on which I stand, acts as a beacon for any dwarf who wants good food, good drink, and good fun.  For this whole week, prices are cut in half-" she went silent, grinning, as the roar from the crowd was deafening "- for everything on the menu.  And I have something special to show you... Mookie?  Would you do the honor?"

Mookie made a show of turning and walking towards the entrance.   Once she had vanished from sight, there was the sound of gears slipping in to place, and a heavy sound of counter-weights dropping down.  The grating of metal-on-stone sounded for a brief instant, and a roar...




Mookie walked out from the back room, giggling as the mist whirled around her.  There was a collective gasp from the onlookers, and Lucy looked absolutely shocked.  "Oh my, it actually... it actually works?" she stammered.  Rinsesilver reached over and gave her a squeeze on the shoulder.

"Now please, everyone - come in.  Enjoy the mist, enjoy the games, enjoy the girls.  The first round of drinks?  Is on the house!"

[Kuli]

From the journal of Kuli Problemwalled,

This is my first time writing in several months, thanks to my imprisonment.  I give thanks to Zefon for helping me endure those many days where I was deprived of food, drink, and sleep.  I also pray for the soul of poor Mosus who was brutally executed for an "offense" that was no greater than my own.

The current situation in this fort is intolerable.  Many righteous and hard-working dwarves are imprisoned or killed simply for failing to meet the selfish and unreasonable demands of those "noble" dwarves who think their lives hold higher value than those of others.  My beloved Master Logem was killed for such petty reasons, and I increasingly expect that I shall meet the same fate soon enough.

I shall continue to call for unity in Migrursut.  There is but one sacred value above all others - life.  But, without unity we shall all lose our lives to the Lord of Death.  I must make that fact clear to the leaders who would callously end the lives of any who displease them.  If they will not listen, then...some direct action may be necessary.  They take my patience for granted, but they will learn that even I...  But no, Zefon forgive me if it should come to that!

Perhaps I am still exhausted from my incarceration.  I fear that I may not be thinking rationally.  For now, the best action is to get a good night's rest.  Zefon's love be with us.

[Groveller]

Grov, which number he neither knew nor cared, wandered about the fortress with a fistful of pamphlets. That nice man in the long black dress had offered him cookies and beer if he would hand them out to everyone he met. He'd already given one to each of the donkeys, the leopard, and all the other animals in the zoo. He'd given several to himselves, who he'd met on the stairs. Now, he was approaching a figure in the mess hall, and tugging at it's coat.

With a cry of "DONKEY-GUM-PLATEYS! HAHAHAHA!" a pamplet was pressed into the figure's hand, and the child ran off, giggling. The figure looked at the pamphlet. It read "Dodik's - Have You Come-Lately?" and the back, for some reason, had a crayon picture of a donkey wearing a hat.

OOC: Assume you're all given such a pamphlet at some point during your day to day activities.

[Zako]

Zako looked at the pamphlet in his hand which had been given to him by one of the oh-so-many grov's that were running around the place. Reading the writing on it, he thought carefully for a bit then smiled widely.

"Perhaps Dodik's is the place for information. Miss Come-lately seems to be the knowledgeable type after all, and everyone talks to the owner when something is on their mind. Quite the information source for my plans..."

He looked around again and saw Kuli walking off to his church and a crafty look appeared in his eyes.

"The maester seems like the trusting type to talk about the dead. I'll go talk to him now that he's out again."

Zako shoulders his crossbow, readjusts a plate on his brace and quickly jogged off after Kuli.

[CanadianWolverine]

*doodles of dancing, drinking decadent dwarves in various states of undress and ... <you blush>*

War'dunell Dakostuzol 10th of Limestone, 1067

Oh my! I love Madam Dodik's place! Just when you thought this place couldn't get any better thanks to the view of the beautiful red sands, especially at sunrise and sunset, along comes the mists and the drink and the dancing! I wonder if Dodik needs another lady to help out around the place...