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Author Topic: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!  (Read 1538 times)

PTTG??

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The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« on: January 13, 2008, 04:48:00 pm »

Peti knew nothing other than drinking, wrestling and hurling. Since he could not farm, could not smith, could not weave, could not count, nor had any other useful skills, He set out from home to the tavern, where he could meet the mayor and offer to fight for the town's safety. Since his home was the tavern floor, he did not have to travel far. Standing up, he noticed several other drunken louts who wished for adventure and glory, or at least another rum, and convinced them to follow him in his quest. This was not difficult. Stumbling over to the mayor, five new friends in tow, he greeted his majesty. Though the mayor was apparently a half-wit whom had never heard of the name "Peti", he did have some job for our hero Eyegore. Apparently the Councils of Dining (so-called because they always met for the running of the nation at dinnertime) needed a warrior to travel to the Euphoric tragic shafts and kill a giant. Not skipping a beat, Peti and his accociates set out to the west, before remembering that the giant laired to the south...

(Anyone interested in being a drunk or something tell me your name and class.)
(P.S. one of the drunks was eaten by a wolf...)

The hall of Drunks:
1 Bob; Chicken De-Featherer
2 Mulch; Mulch
3 xXSkanky; Rum DisposerXx
4 xXJack Jackson; Drunk RiddlerXx
5 xXRed ShirtXx
6 --Amaranth; Nymph--
7 --Nozeri; Space Ghost--
8 --Zonhin; Asst. Asst. Maid's Asst.--
9 --Freddie Jason; Doorknob Thief--
10 --Urist; Milker--

[ January 27, 2008: Message edited by: PTTG?? ]

[ January 27, 2008: Message edited by: PTTG?? ]

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Mulch Diggums

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2008, 12:14:00 am »

I'll take one! Mulch!
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Skanky

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2008, 06:16:00 pm »

I'll take one!

Skanky
Rum Disposer

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Torak

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2008, 07:57:00 pm »

Drunk.

Jack Jackson, Drunk Riddler

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One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the cosmos. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips, I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my veins. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk and free throw.

PTTG??

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2008, 12:20:00 am »

As the six (arguably) heroes wandered, weaved, bobbed, fell over, and stood up again on their way south to the cave, they kept a dull, blood-shot eye out for danger.
 The first in line was Bob, the Chicken De-featherer, who regaled the others with a tale of zombie camels, followed by one who went simply by Mulch. He never explained if this was his name or profession, but either way, he certainly enjoyed his Swamp Wiskey. Behind mulch walked Peti, and following him was Skanky, the town's professional Rum Disposer. A little-rewarded calling, yes, but apparently for this servant, work was it's own reward. The next in line was one Jack Jackson, the town's Riddler, and specifically, the Drunk one. No one knew exactly why the town would want or need a riddler of any kind, but they did not want to risk the consequences of lacking one. The final member of the party was a quiet sort, dressed in a bright red tunic. Indeed, other than when he accented to travel with the band to the cave, he had not said a word until the moment when the others asked his name. At that point he responded with the immortal words "Well, uh, Iiiiiiaaaaghghhh."
 He said this because a wolf was eating his left lung.
 Aleted to the danger, the others swung haphazardly into action.

In a slow, uncoordinated flash, the heroes wheeled round to face the wolf. It soon became apparent that the wolf was not alone, as through the thick trees, five more could be seen. The red-shirted drunk, with rapidly waning strength, beat with all his power against the wolf devouring him. The others lept to his aid as the rest of the pack closed in, and soon the wolf was slain, alas, not before mortally wounding the unnamed drunk. With no time to mourn, the five others where set upon by the remaining wolves. The each wolf lept at a different man, fangs bared .Peti proved his name, first gouging the eyes from his wolf, then strangling it dead. This creature was not likely pleased with it's choice of prey. The others also seemed to fare well, as first Mulch, then the Drunken Riddler, finally beat the vicious wolves to submission, and then the men worked together to lay low the last two dogs. This challenge surpassed, the band (now five in number) set out the last mile or so to the cave's entrance, taking time to rest along the way to prepare and heal.

(Don't worry if you want to join, I am pretty sure that I will be needing some new drunks soon...)(Playing...Let's see of we survive the cave!)

[ January 15, 2008: Message edited by: PTTG?? ]

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PTTG??

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2008, 02:18:00 am »

The five stood in the crater around the entrance to the narrow passages of the cave. Peti stood at the very top of the ramp looking around. Jack and Mulch stood to one side speaking together, apparently. Skanky stood back from the hole, peering hazily in, and Bob was crouched at the foot of the embankment, as if ready to take off if anything attacked. The moments passed. The moments continued to pass. The moments then took a break from passing, the resumed. Peti said "well, anybody want to go first?

Shaken from a daze, or perhaps a stupor, the  others then crowded round the hole, concocted a plan that was forgotten extremely quickly (most likely for the better, considering the quality of the plan) and charged in with a cry!

Peti was the first to enter the sandy cave. Suddenly, It was cool and dank, and the passage was just wide enough for him to walk through comfortably. He ran to the left, to the right, and in his rush to get to the enemy, dashed into a troglodyte. Returning to his senses, Peti reached out with a great mitt and grabbed the beast by the head. The crude monster stuck back ineffectively against him as he shifted his grip. Implementing his trademark move, he eye-gorged it.

Meanwhile, the others milled around near and about the surface, having gotten confused as to their destination and by now having agreed that they should attack from an unexpected direction, where now arguing how best to strike the cave from below. After a while, Skanky grew bored with the digging and made his way to the cave and sidled up to Peti, who was now strangling the troglodite in one hand and and holding it's bloodied head steady in the other. After a long moment of contemplation, a momentary silence punctuated by grunts and a squawking sound from the wrestlers, Skanky leaned over and gave the beast a good smack to the arm. Peti thanked him properly, though curtly, and the troglodite continued squawking, at a slightly higher pitch. As this was happening, Jack arrived, having left the digging of the tactical surprise tunnel in the competent hands of bob. After a similar period of calm reflection on the scene, he asked if he could be of any assistance. With an affirmative grunt from Peti, he reached out and held the near-unconscious troglodyte down by it's arm. After several more minutes, the troglodyte greatfully bled to death. Shortly after this, Bob arrived.

After going a little farther on, they came upon an iron man, an opponent much more deadly and threatening to any warrior than any mere troglodyte. The men charged it with a haphazard fury unmatched in men ever before. In a storm of drunken blows, the Iron Man was reduced to scrap in moments- as more came up from the side passages! While Skanky and bob where unhurt by the monsters, Jack was in trouble, his leg badly wounded. Thinking quickly, Peti threw his very manly dress at the closest iron man to buy Jack time.
such was the utter manliness of this dress that it severed the iron man's leg and it was soon beaten. The four heroes still standing finaly fell on the remaining creature; Bob standing on top of it while Skanky and Mulch tore it to pieces and Peti dug around for something as devastating as his manly, manly[\i], dress. After much battle, the monster was struck down. Peti then took a moment to survey his band; except for jack, they where in good shape; no reason yet to turn around.

Proud of their victory over three mighty creatures (made of solid iron, no less!), they set out deeper into the cavern. Skanky was the first to run into the mole dogs. The first one got his eye before being slain; the second one latched onto Mulch and started tearing him apart. Fortunately, he broke free (as did some of his leg) and now only bob was left to face it. Peti dashed over to help, hurling sand, corpses, and chunks of Mulch at the dog, before leaping on it and adding another pair of eyes to his collection. Soon the Mole dogs where also contributing gore to the sandy floor of the cave. Despite his eye, Mulch was fine, and all but Jack seemed up to continue.

They fought on until the met a Giant Mole, who's vicious reputation had earned it the name Fuguslurched. It was not until after the battle that it became clear why Skanky had been so unhelpful, seeing as he was scattered about the Mole's den. They decided then to return to home, rest, and collect some more drunks before returning to this place, or not, or perhaps just going some other place entirely.

(naptime- I'll see how many drunks I can collect for the next try)

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Skanky

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2008, 02:54:00 am »

Well I seem to have survived a few posts. I almost made it to the end as well!
Hopefully my next character will survive longer, although in reality she is more of a pacifist.

Name: Amaranth
Profession: Nymph

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umiman

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2008, 04:09:00 am »

*high-fives Skanky*

We're survivors! We're gonna make it!

By the way...
 

quote:
Thinking quickly, Peti threw his very manly dress at the closest iron man to buy Jack time. Such was the utter manliness of this dress that it severed the iron man's leg and it was soon beaten.

Is funny like hell!

EDIT: ooooooooh! So that's what "Scattered all over the mole's den" means...
*unhigh-fives Skanky*

[ January 15, 2008: Message edited by: umiman ]

Skanky

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2008, 04:22:00 am »

I guess you can still high-five me. Although the others may be slightly disturbed by you picking up and then hitting a dismembered hand. On the other hand, they are dwarves, with all the (lack of) emotional stability that entails!

But thanks for the new signature. With me trying out adventure mode, it will certainly come in handy.  :D

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Armok

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2008, 05:58:00 am »

PTTG? you are FREEKIN HILARIUS!!!  :D
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umiman

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2008, 02:33:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by Skanky:
<STRONG>I guess you can still high-five me. Although the others may be slightly disturbed by you picking up and then hitting a dismembered hand. On the other hand, they are dwarves, with all the (lack of) emotional stability that entails!

But thanks for the new signature. With me trying out adventure mode, it will certainly come in handy.   :D</STRONG>


Haha! I'm honored!

PTTG??

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2008, 09:11:00 pm »

It'll take me a while to rustle up some more drunks. Toss your name and job on the queue and you'll get added in the order your post is received. Thank you for posting. You post is important to us. Please post with us again!
(I'll try to play some tonight)

[ January 16, 2008: Message edited by: PTTG?? ]

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Skanky

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2008, 11:40:00 pm »

One request - could you make a list of people who have signed up and update it with deceased and future drunks please.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing how the group goes next!

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Re: The Adventures of Peti Eyegore and Friends!
« Reply #14 on: January 17, 2008, 12:36:00 am »

Nozeri, Space-Travelling Ghost.

Kekeke.

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