The five stood in the crater around the entrance to the narrow passages of the cave. Peti stood at the very top of the ramp looking around. Jack and Mulch stood to one side speaking together, apparently. Skanky stood back from the hole, peering hazily in, and Bob was crouched at the foot of the embankment, as if ready to take off if anything attacked. The moments passed. The moments continued to pass. The moments then took a break from passing, the resumed. Peti said "well, anybody want to go first?
Shaken from a daze, or perhaps a stupor, the others then crowded round the hole, concocted a plan that was forgotten extremely quickly (most likely for the better, considering the quality of the plan) and charged in with a cry!
Peti was the first to enter the sandy cave. Suddenly, It was cool and dank, and the passage was just wide enough for him to walk through comfortably. He ran to the left, to the right, and in his rush to get to the enemy, dashed into a troglodyte. Returning to his senses, Peti reached out with a great mitt and grabbed the beast by the head. The crude monster stuck back ineffectively against him as he shifted his grip. Implementing his trademark move, he eye-gorged it.
Meanwhile, the others milled around near and about the surface, having gotten confused as to their destination and by now having agreed that they should attack from an unexpected direction, where now arguing how best to strike the cave from below. After a while, Skanky grew bored with the digging and made his way to the cave and sidled up to Peti, who was now strangling the troglodite in one hand and and holding it's bloodied head steady in the other. After a long moment of contemplation, a momentary silence punctuated by grunts and a squawking sound from the wrestlers, Skanky leaned over and gave the beast a good smack to the arm. Peti thanked him properly, though curtly, and the troglodite continued squawking, at a slightly higher pitch. As this was happening, Jack arrived, having left the digging of the tactical surprise tunnel in the competent hands of bob. After a similar period of calm reflection on the scene, he asked if he could be of any assistance. With an affirmative grunt from Peti, he reached out and held the near-unconscious troglodyte down by it's arm. After several more minutes, the troglodyte greatfully bled to death. Shortly after this, Bob arrived.
After going a little farther on, they came upon an iron man, an opponent much more deadly and threatening to any warrior than any mere troglodyte. The men charged it with a haphazard fury unmatched in men ever before. In a storm of drunken blows, the Iron Man was reduced to scrap in moments- as more came up from the side passages! While Skanky and bob where unhurt by the monsters, Jack was in trouble, his leg badly wounded. Thinking quickly, Peti threw his very manly dress at the closest iron man to buy Jack time.
such was the utter manliness of this dress that it severed the iron man's leg and it was soon beaten. The four heroes still standing finaly fell on the remaining creature; Bob standing on top of it while Skanky and Mulch tore it to pieces and Peti dug around for something as devastating as his manly, manly[\i], dress. After much battle, the monster was struck down. Peti then took a moment to survey his band; except for jack, they where in good shape; no reason yet to turn around.Proud of their victory over three mighty creatures (made of solid iron, no less!), they set out deeper into the cavern. Skanky was the first to run into the mole dogs. The first one got his eye before being slain; the second one latched onto Mulch and started tearing him apart. Fortunately, he broke free (as did some of his leg) and now only bob was left to face it. Peti dashed over to help, hurling sand, corpses, and chunks of Mulch at the dog, before leaping on it and adding another pair of eyes to his collection. Soon the Mole dogs where also contributing gore to the sandy floor of the cave. Despite his eye, Mulch was fine, and all but Jack seemed up to continue.
They fought on until the met a Giant Mole, who's vicious reputation had earned it the name Fuguslurched. It was not until after the battle that it became clear why Skanky had been so unhelpful, seeing as he was scattered about the Mole's den. They decided then to return to home, rest, and collect some more drunks before returning to this place, or not, or perhaps just going some other place entirely.
(naptime- I'll see how many drunks I can collect for the next try)