"21st Moonstone, 1053
Time seems to go slowly while in caves. It's probably afraid of the spiders, too.
After killing Rodemithbi, WE decided to go down a corridor nearby.
WE thought it was close, and that it was equally likely to find the cyclops there than the one I had recommended.
We we we. Always we.
Darn that Choppinator, and Imp too. They are ruining my lackeys.
On the plus side, after a long discussion, WE bitterly decided WE are leaving "Old" the wrestler behind. Also, the corridor WE went down ended almost immediately.
However, this cannot go on. I must re-establish my position.
I MUST RULE.
For their own good, of course.
I told THE OTHERS that WE should now the way I had recommendeded.
THEY pointed out that there was another hallway right next the one where we already were.
THEY also asked how could I be so dumb not to notice it.
THEY will pay.
The reign of the Choppinator shall come to an end.
It will have to.
IT IS MY WILL!
Okay, so we went down the corridor.
I volunteered to go first.
Another spider! What is wrong with this place?
Right after the first turn in the tunnel, too.
Luckily, it didn't see me, and I hid myself.
The first one I saw was Bullion, the maceman.
I signaled to him the danger that lurked behind the corner, and he jumped right in. Without any backup. Oh, he's dead now. At least that's what I thought.
Bullion leaped at the spider and knocked it over, although his mace strikes were ineffective. The situation looked good for me, so I started lashing at the beast, to look like I was helping too.
With my leadership, Bullion bruised the eyes and the brain of the spider.
Maybe he will become a good second man?
Alas, we were webbed. I thought our end was near, when Sigurd charged the spider, bringing it crashing down to the earth with himself.
Bullion rose to his feet, lifted his great morningstar and brought it to the cephalotrax of the spider, smashing it and sending the vile spawn into the darkness of the cave from which it had come.
It is amazing how inspiring one can be while hiding behind a corner.
Giving advice. Leadership stuff.
We continued past the corpse of the spider, and I spat on it.
The others looked at me funnily. They obviously did not respect understand my grand and vital contribution to the felling of the creature.
We paused for a while, and I wrote this. If I am correct, we have now killed
three spiders. At the cost of lives of three drunks.
It's a win-win scenario here, and it's all thanks to me.
Found batman. It was dead.
Hehe. The corridor THEY wanted to go down was a dead end, after all.
Unfortunately, it branched into other corridors. WE will follow them.
Urist got lost for a while, found a batman and killed it.
He found his way back, though. Damn.
On a more important note, I found a glove. I picked it up, and noticed I didn't have a shield. No wonder I haven't done so well in past fights.
I noted this to the others. Reactions varied, with Urist being surprised that I had had a shield, and Skanky claiming he was amazed with me not noticing the loss of my shield.
They obviously don't know how easy it is to forget mundane objects like shields when one is a great leader like myself. Also, I am so skilled that I don't even need one! None can defeat me! NONE!
Spiders...
We found lots of ichor in a piece of corridor. It seems we are not the only ones willing or capable of hunting spiders.
This should make me happy, but it doesn't.
I wonder where Das Spintubes is.
Nothing. Lots of it. These corridors are as empty as-
As I was writing my last entry (I sometimes write while I walk), I walked into a spider! With all its legs and nasty itsy bits! I jumped away in surpise. And jumped a bit more, until I reached the others.
Without me even having time to explaing the situation, Imp charged around the corner and attacked the spider.
So did Urist.
I was unsure who I wanted to win, but decided to help them, as Imp has yet to cause me trouble.
I rounded around the corner to see Imp and the spider in a tangled mess. I readied my whip, and with a mighty blow, removed the eyes and badly tore the brain of the behemoth.
No longer could it see us, and it's attacks would thus surely be ineffective!
At least, that's what I thought until it webbed me, Imp, Urist and all the rest, who were just coming round a corner.
Then something horrible happened.
The spider touched me. With it's leg. It was hairy, but still somehow... sticky.
That, however, did not help it, and it was soon covered by bruises and people making more of them. It bled to death.
If I'm correct, this raises to count to four spiders.
Man I'm good at leading groups.
We continued on our journey. Behind us, the one who calls himself the Dragonslayer and some other dude keeped getting caught in webs.
Honestly, I think he may be the most worthless Axeman I have ever seen.
He never kills anything, he always gets caught in webs, and he's to first one to get wounded.
He's also quite ignorant, too.
It's like he knows how I like my lackeys: harmless and just incompetent enough for me to steal the fame.
With which I, of course, mean encouraging them to great feats with my awesome leadership.
Found a batman. Strangled it.
I do not know why, but I find strangling small, furry creatures somehow... comforting.
Another ratman was killed by a hammerman.
Another dead end. Honestly, this place is as empty as my wallet.
Ie. full of spiders. Skanky has yet to do any claims to position as leader, but I know he's up to something.
He's biding for his time, waiting to stab me in the back.
Patiently.
Like a spider.
Spiders...
Another spider. As is customary, Bullion charged it, with the others quick to follow suite.
However, what followed was not as ordinary.
We were webbed, and in the following struggle Bullion lost his right leg.
He still has his knee, though, so he should consider himself lucky. He doesn't.
Urist was also bit in the chest, but nothing special happened aside from his falling down in paralysis.
Then something really strange happened.
Remember what I said about Sigurd the Dragonslayer?
Well, he cut the spider in half.
That's now... five spiders, with the losses of three drunks and most like Bullion. They are quite easily replaceable.
Also, Bullion has a shield.
Found leg of spider. No spiders sighted, however.
Sigurd seems to have gotten into the taste of blood. When I was strangling a ratman, he removed both it's legs and an arm.
Admirable, but the way he seemed to enjoy the carnage was somewhat... disturbing.
Also, have you noticed the funny way ratmen squeak when you strangle them?
It's kinda like the screams of dying people, except more high-pitched, and somewhat more relaxing.
I considered pointing this out to the others, but decided against it.
Who knows how they could use this knowledge against me.
We have located Das Spintubes!
Which is to say I located it, and the others just followed me.
The battle began with my masterful dodging of it's clumsy moves and whipping it.
Then it noticed Sigurd and charged it. He bruised him a little and then turned back to me.
At this point, I was the only one to inflict any real damage to it, by spraining it's shoulder.
Then Sigurd charged the ettin, only to bounce backwards.
I am starting to suspect that the lucky hit he inflicted on that one spider was indeed only luck.
It looked like I could hog all the glory in this fight. It was simple to evade the creature, and once I had whipped it's legs, I could then strangle it.
Then that darned Choppinator came.
He charged the ettin and buried his halberd deep into its chest. He collided with it, and bounced backwards, much to my delight. However, then the ettin fell over. We later found he had broken it's spine and pierced a lung.
DAMN.
Now it was down, I decided to do the most logical thing, and that was to strangle it. I was, however, faced with a problem: the ettin had two heads.
I decided to give the others and example and strangle both heads.
And then Skanky cut the ettin in half.
Honestly, I am beginning to get worried by his continued undermiming of my authority. Maybe he will face a fate similar to that of Bullion's...
Anyways, I drew a picture about the scene.
We will probably go get the wounded wrestler and poor Bullion soon.
Or let them crawl to us, whatever.
Then it's time to return to Dancedtreat and get some fresh blood.
Some live people with the blood would also be nice.
End of entry"
[ January 21, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]
[ January 21, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]
Author
Topic: The adventures of Bathru Raceprophet (Read 4299 times)