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[Bullion]

can i have the maceman?

call him Bullion.

[Dwarfaholic]

"16th Moonstone, 1053

We have now entered Tonguehollow, the largest city in the kingdom. I am sure to find some fresh blood here. There is only a few cities between us and Das Spintubes. We will gather more people there.

One of my meatshields, the maceman, is acting up. His name is now 'Bull-lion' or something like that. He kinda mumbled it.

Luckily, he doesn't demand a second name.

Later added: I recruited one more axeman in Tonguehollow. The other's say that there's already too many people. They're just looking for an excuse to stay away, I think.

I have added a picture showing our current location, and our route in blue.

However, due to my crude drawing skills, it is quite crude. I will attempt to improve the quality of my drawings as time goes on."

[ January 13, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

[Dwarfaholic]

"19th Moonstone, 1053

Today was an interesting one. On our way to Rootedsatin, which only a small distance from the lair of Das Spintubes, we were ambushed by a pack of wolves. We quickly disposed of them, and prepared to leave. I then noticed that one of the drunks was in a small lake, and it was evident that he couldn't swim. We pulled him out, and asked him how he had gotten there. He didn't know.
Yeah right.

We are now in Rootedsatin, and are preparing to leave for The Tepid Night, where Spintubes resides. I have scetched a crude drawing of the surrounding areas, which I will add here once I find a way to keep it from falling off.

Ah. Here it is:
 

We will soon reach The Tepid Night. I informed the other's of this, and was met with varying levels of exitement. For some reason, not all of them, specifically the drunks, cherished the thought of facing giant, eight-legged, venomous, web-spitting and bone-grinding monsters, before even reaching our goal.

I hate spiders."

[ January 13, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

[Bullion]

EDIT: No longer relevant

[ January 19, 2008: Message edited by: Bullion ]

[Dwarfaholic]

"20th Moonstone, 1053

Another ambush today, wolves again. Three wolves this time.

No injuries, except for Urist getting bit in the elbow.
However, the other's performed well enough, with Imp beheading a wolf and Nozeri smashing the ribcase of another. I ripped the last one the shreds, before the others even got to the site.

I thought the fight was so remembarable that I scetched a picture of the aftermath, taking effort to point out the more notable ones of us:

I think I'm getting better at pictures quite fast."

[Skanky]

Indeed.

Name: Skanky
Profession: Choppinator
Taking: Axedwarf

[Dwarfaholic]

"21st Moonstone, 1053

As we approached the cave, I heard sounds of battle. Specifically, the sound of humans battling cave creatures.

It appears not all the others died fighting the cave spiders. One wrestler and two swordsmen were still alive. We shouted at each other through the cave walls, but couldn't find them. Lucky for me, though. The wrestler in particular was pretty pissed at being left for dead. He called my ugly names, even though I'm his leader!
It just comes to show that, beneath all that friendliness and "Ooh, ooh! I can tear off limbs!", he just really isn't a team player.

Well, they were pretty screwed anyways. The other swordsman was missing a leg, and was falling in and out of consciousness.

I disposed of a stray batman and waited for the others.

While I waited, the swordsman killed three ratmen and a batman. And I couldn't, 'cause I had to wait for the other's! Damn schools and their teachings of "fair".

Anyways, once the other's had arrived, we started hunting for the cyclops.

And found "Slashy" the swordsman almost immediately. Damn.

Luckily for me, the poison seems to have erased most of his memories. He has no ill will against me, and doesn't seem to remember anything from before coming to "The Tepid Night".

Heh heh. Sucker.

Anyways, he'll be a welcome addition to our numbers.

   

I scetched a little drawing to commemorate the occasion. I think I like drawing.

We gathered at the stairs, and voted to continue onwards. That is to say, I told we'd do it, and nobody objeced loud enough. I also took the time to write this."

[ January 15, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

[Dwarfaholic]

"21st Moonstone, 1053

Damn that Anusripper! Despite my clear orders to follow my, the fool went ahead "To fight evil!", as he said. Bah. The kid just wants his dirty hands to be the ones to first grab the free sock and boot waiting with the unconscious, one-legged swordsman, I bet.

Anyways, he meets an antman, and promptly pushes him over. I think, "Great, kid, now gouge out his eyes!". Oh, no. He wants to punch it. In the feet. Even though it's already on the ground.

Luckily, I happened to be nearby, and whipped it to pieces.

Meaning the antman, not Urist. Or maybe...

Anyways, while I was killing the insectoid, we were ambushed by a ratman!
Bullion brought his morningstar on to it's toes, and the ratman passed out.

He then smacked it into a wall, and it died. Many times.

While I was admiring this handy macemanship, Urist rushed past me a crushed the abdomen of the unconscious antman, showing once again the wonderful artwork that is kill-stealing.

I'll have to do something about Urist. He's too out-of-control.

I gave Urist a lecture above the crushed antman. He didn't seem to listen very much, though. He kept looking around himself, as if looking for something...

What is it?

I must know..."

[Bullion]

can we have some updates? even just a paragraph.

[Kagus]

Name:  Goodfellow
Profession:  Bard

When he dies, I'd be much obliged if you gave me a second chance with a hammerman.  Mercenary by profession, Falthir by name.

Keep up the good work, should be interesting to see who lives and who dies... Well, mainly how they die.  This is Dwarf Fortress, after all.

[Torak]

I am shocked to see that Urist hasn't been ripped into pieces yet.

[Dwarfaholic]

Sorry for no updates, have been busy.

Also, 'bout the bard, is he a drunk or something else?

Anyways...

"Continued from last entry

We decided to go right, simply because it's the one closest to me.

After walking a while along the corridors, we found the body of a dead batman.
To be more precise, I found a dead batman. Behind me, the others found a live one. It was engaged by a drunk, and then Skanky and an Axeman royally dismemberd it's members.

These caves are bizarre. I found a sock.
For unknown reasons, it was clean and unused.
I decided that some things are best left untouched, and leaved the sock.

As I was walking towards yet another set of stairs (how do they even get there) I almost collided with a giant cave spider.
I decided to retreat as fast as I could, ran behind a corner and hid.
It advanced towards me, and I was sure it would find me any moment.
Not to say I was afraid, of course. Me! Bathru Raceprophet! Afraid of a mere eight-legged squisky thing?

With big, nasty, pointy teeth...
It's the teeth I hate. And the poison.
Not afraid, though. Not at all.

Anyways, as I readied myself to battle the vicious cave creature, a drunk ran in  front of me, eager for glory. Instead, he got a mandible into his guts, and poison into his blood.
Then he got ripped to shreds. Meh.

Fortunately for me, I mean us, his pain was not in vain. Hehe, it rhymes.

While he was attracting the attention of the octoped menace, a(nother) bipedal drunk attacked it, and was soon reduced to an unipedal whimpering pile.

Then Keth the hammerman smashed it.

We voted to leave the crippled person where he was, despite the majority being against it. I argued that he would attract spiders towards him, and thus away from us. One of the others said he was feeling sick.
I hurriedly added that we would, of course, then avenge his death.
They would, not me. I would be watching them learn the most valuable lesson in their lives: other people don't matter. Only cave spiders do.

Spiders...

Anyways, we continued merrily onwards.

After a while of continuing, I noticed the other's weren't following. I halted and waited for them. They came, after a while.
I wished they hadn't.

They had found the wrestler. The one I left for dead in the caves.
And then left to be soon dead once I found out he wasn't dead.
Oh ho. That's him.

While I was standing there, paralyzed with fear I MEAN RESPECT AND GOODWILL, I noticed something bizarre about him.
He wasn't hitting me. Or kicking. He wasn't even yelling.
He just looked at me with a look that, I think, was supposed to make me feel ashamed. Try again, bucko! I feel no shame. Probably because of the spiders.
I hate them. So much.
Spiders.

After looking at me for a long time the wrestler gave up.
Instead, he vowed to follow me and make me remember shame again.
He vowed it through Armok or something. Whatever, one can't hold his vows when one is dead. Ultra-dead, in the case of spiders.

Also, I don't want to feel ashamed. I makes me feel shameful.

We stopped again. Nothing has happened as of yet, except for the one ratman that was quickly de-limbified by an axeman. I feel bored. I hope something happens soon, save for a spider attack of course.
It's not that I fear them, of course not! I just respect them. I respect them so much that I run away and hide when I see them, behaviour that is often wrongly associated with fear. I fear nothing.
Totally nothing.

Found antman. Whipped it to pieces.

I learned how awful a system democracy is today.

While we were wandering yet another corridor, Imp said he had heard something.
He said it was a cave spider.

I jumped at the news, but then he told me the sounds had come from far above, where the drunk was, and that we should go help him.

I told him to shove his sword up where the sun doesn't shine.
He pointed out we were already in a cave.

He then proceeded to take a vote on whether to help the Drunk in distress.
A vote! In a democratic system, where I decide everything!
Needless to say, the sissies won. They said I could follow them if I wanted to.
I followed, as I was eager to see them get torn apart by the spider, which they named "Rodemithbi", or "Racewhisper". Very funny.
Also, they are valuable protection against spiders.

It's a long way, so it's gonna take a while. Hopefully long enough for the others to come to their senses, before they are dulled by the cruel poison of the giant cave spider.

Rodemithbi removed the remaining leg from the drunk, and then killed it.
However, the others insisted that we carried on.
Also, we heard a monkey battle a ratman. Booyeah!

If you closed your eyes, you could almost see the awesome locks and throws they were employing against each other.
I also imagined the ratman strangle the monkey. That's what I would have done, anyways.

I was the first to see Rodemithbi. Although it was dark in the cave, I could see the blood dripping from her mandibles. I turned on my heels and ran. Out of respect, of course.

Once again, a drunk went between it and myself. He was almost instantly ripped in half. It was quite disturbing seeing all the guts fly past me. I continued running.

Once I reached my honored friend, I quickly turned to face the monster. We could easily destroy it now. I attacked it, but it ran past me, and bit the wrestler.
THE wrestler.
Suddenly I felt great sympathy for this mighty beast, hated for no good reason, except for it's might and strength. It was simply misunderstood.
Then I remembered it was a spider.

I ran to it's front, and lashed at it. It dropped the wrestler and webbed us all.
Us all, save for one.
Skanky charged at the beast, bringing his iron halberd to the abdomen of the beast. A sickening crack echoed through the halls, followed by a great crash as the spider hit a wall, it's entrails spraying out of the giant wound in its body.
All due to my awesome leadership, of course. I made a mental note to get rid of Skanky fast. He was becoming a threat to my position as the leader.

However, this will only be later as now his actions gave us the time to free ourselves of the webs, and beat the royal shit out of Racewhisper.

On a side not, Skanky also removed a leg, and Imp removed the right eye and sent the spider flying again. I almost felt sorry for it.

Then Imp removed a leg and Skanky removed its abdomen. At about this point, the spider finally died.

If i have counted correctly, this meant that we lost only three drunks, while killing off another two cave spiders. This raid has been wonderful success!
It has also enabled me to find the main threat to the integrity of our party.
Skanky the Choppinator.
He must die.

Anyways, a scetch of the scene after we killed Rodemithbi:

End of entry."

[Torak]

Is urist the last surviving drunk?

[Xotes]

I didn't see Nozeri in that entry! What, is he dead?

Also, your humor is biting, sarcastic and hilarious.

[Skanky]

Hehehe
Phear the Choppinator!