Negotiate with the government for a hasty plan to flee to the Heavens, with a fleet of rockets (purchased with pizza sales) manned by crews of demons and humans.
5: While the area has scrambled communications, there exist enough magic and tech knowhow to turn the old moon restaurant into a spaceship. And so they attempt to flee to heaven.
Huzza I turned on the darkness. Peak out of the lighthouse and see what's happening outside.
3: A number of towering creatures apporach the shore, and the shadows on land have gathered around it as if seeking safety. In the sky and see can be seen a harsh light without rays, plummeting down through multiple portals. As you watch, one of those giants find themselves tripping over a new portal popping into existence.
If I am still alive, use my powers to open my bag, and take whatever I can from this planet inside it! I claim it all for me!
If not, leave hell and attempt to Possess the president or someone. Their probably trying to escape from this mess id imagine, maybe I can get out of here too!
3+1: You attempt to suck in literally everything your portals touch, collecting buildings, people, pizza, water, a giant shadow foot, liquid light, paradoxes. Most of it is shreeded on impact with the gate but there are a few treasures.
5: Government continue to govern and fires more nukes through the portals.
4+1: Heaven notices the intrusion and sends down battle angels to sort things out.
2: Lucifer Interrupts, but does not do anything, too indifferent to the end of the world.
In just one day reality will collapse in on itself, fracturing everything in a 4200564.329825875 terameter radius.