DFGT IX Round 1
Fight 1A: Rudolf Ludgrenn the Deer Man vs Tekkud the Singed Dwarf
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/EtvNbPpjFor our first fight of the tournament, we have Rudolf Ludgrenn (managed by Eris235), a deer man from the frosty north. He’s tired of the pansy “non-lethal” boxing rules they have on the circuits up there, and now wants to spill some blood properly in the name of Armok. I’m sure we can help him with that!
Facing him is Tekkud the Singed (managed by eldritchScholar). This dwarf hasn’t really said much to us aside from a couple grunts that he needed to make to acknowledge that signing up for the tournament absolves us of all personal responsibility for his health and well-being, but boy oh boy can he swing that pick of his! Believe me, I’ve seen him practicing some of the spare boulders around here.
As the bell rings to signal the start of the first fight, both gladiators rush towards one another in their excitement! Tekkud begins with a classic miner’s swing downward, but his pick seems to get caught on one of Rudolf’s antlers. Rudolf takes advantage of this, landing a savage punch to Tekkud’s right knee that bends it grotesquely backwards, toppling the dwarf to the ground. The dwarves in the crowd groan at this inauspicious start, and Tekkud begins to swing wildly around with his pick at Rudolf, scratching up one of his hands, his tail, before finally impaling one of his hoofs, eliciting a scream from Rudolf as he topples to the ground as well.
Tekkud takes advantage of his foe’s momentary disorientation to score a nasty scratch on his right bicep, but Rudolf quickly regains the offensive. A constant rain of punches falls on Tekkud, mostly hitting his shield, but a few sneak through to smash against the dwarf’s chest and limbs. Eventually, Tekkud can’t seem to take it anymore, and begins attempting to scoot away as quickly as he can from the onslaught. Rudolf grows increasingly frustrated, and finally seems to snap, as his jaws snap shut on Tekkuds neck! With a ferocious shake of his antlered head, a loud snap can be heard throughout the arena as Tekkud goes limp, dropping his pick and shield. Rudolf drops Tekkud, and continues to beat him as the dwarf slowly succumbs to his mortal injury.
Congratulations on your victory Rudolf, you’ve shown us just why you were kicked out of those northern fighting rings!
Fight 1B: Steelblood Deathedge the Wolf Man vs Mikey the Gorlak
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/czXs1US0Steelblood Deathedge (managed by Matius) has already made a name for himself in our light battle royale, handily dealing death with his long sword. He claims to be the cursed run-away prince from a tribe of wolf men. Is that true? We don’t know, but he’s definitely got killer instincts.
He’ll need them against Mikey the Gorlak, (managed by Sir Dorfleburg). We found him skukling around an alleyway scaring people with the huge creepy mask of his, so he should be a great fighter. That mask is huge too, I could probably make a decent shield out of it if it should ever be separated from his face…
Oh, and there’s the bell! The gladiators meet in the middle, initially only dealing a few flesh wounds to one another, though Steelblood does the majority of them to Mikey’s unarmored biceps and thighs. It’s a ferocious strike to the gorlak’s right thigh that does the first real damage though, as the leg bends inward and collapses under Mikey’s weight. Another ferocious blow knocks Mikey’s short sword out of his hand, causing the Gorlak to lunge forward with his enormous maw at Steelblood!
The wolf man deftly steps out of the way though, and responds by chopping off Mikey’s right leg, causing blood to spurt from the central orb of his body! Mikey roars in pain and rage, and turns around again, but finds his head now stuck on Steelblood’s sword. His mask deflects a few blows, but not enough, as the faster wolf man hounds him on his weak sides where it isn’t continually biting into his meaty ball of a body. Eventually, Mikey collapses in a pool of blood and pain, allowing Steelblood to peel off the mask, and deal his finishing blows.
Congratulations to Steelblood, you will move on to the next round!
Fight 1C: Snaggle the Mad Sadist Hyena Woman vs Gug the Sasquatch
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/rTtxFRaFGug (managed by Wolfkey) is a Sasquatch. He doesn’t really say much other than Gug though. Very nice and polite fellow from what I can tell, though I would hate for him to lay his hands violently on me.
As for the woman who he will be attempting to lay his hands on shortly, Snaggle the Mad Sadist (managed by Eric Blank) is certainly up for the challenge. Exiled from her own tribe due to her own violent tendencies, she’s come to see if our temple to Armok can satisfy them. Let’s see how we do, eh?
Snaggle draws first blood by carving a nasty gash into Gug’s right forearm, quickly followed by his left one as he reaches out towards her. Both arms are left dangling limply, and the sasquatch lets out a pained cry of “GUG!”, before redoubling his efforts to strike the hyena woman, this time with his feet and teeth. Snaggle merely takes on the proffered limbs as new offerings though, hacking into his meaty thighs, and toppling the sasquatch to the ground like a large furry tree.
Snaggle climbs up Gug’s body as he snaps ferociously at her, but continues to easily avoid his teeth as she hacks her axe into his body as she advances up it like a mountain climber up a rock face. The pain eventually proves too great for Gug, as with one last whimpered cry of “Gug…”, he goes into shock. Snaggle cackles maniacally as she sinks her axe into the sasquatch’s defenseless head, hacking open his skull to gain her victory!
Congratulations Snaggle, you’ve certainly proven worthy of your title!
Fight 1D: Sir Capybarrian the Wise Capybara Man vs Monarque the Monarch Butterfly Man
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/1VZdgcwVSir Capybarrian (managed by Lord Capybara) is here to redeem his master’s honor. Apparently having fallen for a cruel trap, he was disgraced. By representing his lord at our tournament, he hopes to redeem him and his fortune! Let’s hope he can prove his moniker to be more useful in combat that it was for his lord…
Monarque (managed by Crystalizedmire) has been sent here in hopes of claiming the family throne. As the younger brother, he is unfortunately a bit too far out of the line of succession, but if his deed prove suitably great, perhaps he can oust him. Or so his mother claims…
At the ring of the bell, Monarque soars into the air on his glorious wings while brandishing his 4 copper short swords. Sir Capybarrian seems unimpressed though, and merely thrusts forward at the approaching butterfly man with his iron spear. Monarque parries it, but Sir Capybarrian continues his forward charge, crashing into Monarque and sending him toppling to the ground. Sir Capybarrian quickly takes advantage of this, chopping off Monarque’s right foot in a spurt of milky ichor, followed quickly by his upper right arm and one of his copper short swords.
Monarque flutters back into the air, swinging wildly with his copper short swords, but Sir Capybarrian, proving the truth of his title, takes a defensive posture and bats the swords away. Having left himself exposed, Sir Capybarrian darts in again at Monarque, taking off his lower left hand and depriving him of another copper shortsword, then skewering one of his wings. This disruption causes Monarque to fall heavily to the ground, bursting open another hand that he attempts to catch himself on. The disheveled prince attempts to get his last remaining sword up in time, but Sir Capybarrian’s spear whistles around and slams into his head, shattering the chitin and splattering the prince’s brains across the arena floor.
Congratulations Sir Capybarrian, you have certainly proved to be a wise fighter.
Fight 1E: Uvash the Dwarf vs Rolly Polly the Pangolin Woman
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/EWjq4QgTUvash (managed by Abkhaz) proudly hefts his iron warhammer to the cheers of the crowd. He couldn’t get his share of martial glory by joining the army, but maybe, just maybe, he can get it through the arena.
Rolly Polly (managed by DeKaFu) rolls on into the arena with the rattle of metal on metal. The pangolin woman has augmented her own natural defenses with artificial ones, and sports a shining suit of copper armor, capped with a bronze helm. Will her defense hold against Uvash’s offense?
Uvash and Rolly Polly trade a few initial blows, but it’s Uvash who deftly swings the hammer around and scores the first decisive one, breaking Rolly Polly’s left hand and forearm! Rolly Polly hunches around her injured arm, darting outward at Uvash with her spear. Uvash’s blows continue to fall on her armor, and those standing near the arena hear the Pangolin woman let out a scream of range as she rushes wildly at Uvash. The dwarf simply ducks under the wildly swung spear, and smashes the offending hand wielding it!
Rolly Polly’s right hand goes limp as her spear falls from its grasp, but the pangolin woman continues to fight on, kicking and biting at Uvash. Uvash matches her fury though, charging into her and knocking her over. Biting her arm, the dwarf ferociously shakes her around, snapping the limp to and fro as bone breaks through skin and blood showers over both combatants.Rolly Polly tries to strike back, but Uvash looms over her, striking again and again with his warhammer until Polly resembles nothing more that a smashed copper can of meat.
Congratulations on your victory Uvash! I don’t know what your fort was thinking when they rejected you from the military, but we’re glad to have you.
Fight 1F: Leaf Lordedge the Elf vs Archelaus the Cunning Fox Man
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/0E2psvYgLeaf Lordedge (managed by Maloy) twirls his iron two handed sword to the cheers of the elven contingent of the crowd and a rather muted greeting from the dwarven one. This noble elf lord is here to see if the worthiness he gains in the arena can allow him to gain an audience with King Cacame of the dwarves of his realm, and achieve peace between their people.
Facing him is Archelaus the Cunning (managed by Shrine94). He was only briefly stopping through our town, but when he heard about the promises of wealth, glory, and protection that gladiators enjoy, he seemed quite enthusiastic about joining up. Something about running from someone? Not our business!
The two gladiators are similarly equipped, both having opted to armor their hands and heads with bronze (though it’s a mask in Leaf Lordedge’s case). At the ring of the bell, the two lightly armored fighters spring towards one another! Their agility is on full display, as the sprightly figures leap around one another and the lethal blows that they exchange! Leaf Lordedge gets the first couple strikes, landing scratches on Archelaus’ arms and belly, but nothing truly dangerous. Archelaus responds with a mace blow that, while landing on Leaf Lordedges gauntlet, awkwardly twists his elbow around, but the elf still follows through on his strike, carving a deep gash into Archelaus’ belly that begins to stain his leather armor with blood.
The two fighters back off from one another before re-engaging, this time more carefully. Sword and mace clash against one another as often as they swing through empty air as the orange fox man and pale elf dance across the arena floor. Leaf Lordedge seems to be tiring more quickly though, as the mace grazes him more frequently. Finally, Archelaus seems to lose his patience, and lunges forward, sinking needle sharp teeth into the elf lord’s left thigh. At this breach in civility, Leaf Lordedge seems to completely lose his control, pausing only to unfasten Archelaus’ teeth before running around the arena in a panic. His fangs slick with elven blood, Archelaus bounds after him, first disabling his legs, before laying into his chest and head, and spraying the rest of his blood over the arena floor in a frenzy of violence.
Archelaus raises his gory mace to the cheers of the crowd, particularly the dwarves, at his victory over both elves and nobility. Congratulations on advancing to the next round!
Fight 1G: Grovewarden Gaia the Elk Woman vs Canon the Human
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/s0sbyY7NGrovewarden Gaia (managed by kosmonautti), strikes a formidable figure in her iron armor, even lacking the large antlers of her male kin. Hopefully her performance will gain her the following she desires, and allow her to lead a victorious army back to her home.
Opposing this dream of hers today is Canon (managed by Dunitek), the winner of our Heavy Battle Royale. This wanderer showed himself to be a canny fighter in the chaos of the free for all, but how will he stand when it’s just him his opponents have to focus on?
Grovewarden Gaia promptly charges Canon at the ring of the bell, while Canon stands firm. His spear lands in on her upper arm, but fails to penetrate due to her iron mail shirt. Gaia merely continues forward, bowling him over and stunning him. Canon groggily attempts to get back up, but Grovewarden Gaia slams into him again and again, keeping him off balance. Canon attempts a desperate stab at the elk woman, but she merely grabs his hand as he lunges at her. Taking the captured hand, the elk woman methodically bends it backwards with her superior strength until a distinct *pop* is heard, followed by a scream of pain from Canon as he lets go of his iron spear. A bite to Canon’s opposite arm severs the muscles there, causing him to drop his buckler as well. While Canon scratches, bites, and kicks at Grovewarden Gaia, nothing frees him from her inexorable grasp as she draws him in closer and closer. At an almost leisurely pace, she places her forearm at his neck, and chokes the life out of him.
Congratulations on your victory Grovewarden Gaia, you follow in the proud example of Growl from last year’s tournament!
Fight 1H: Tree Dweller the Gorilla vs Kraken the Minotaur
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/GgWcVCVtTree Dweller (managed by Enemy Post) lumbers into the arena. Once fully past his gate, the mighty gorilla rears up to pound his chest with his fists while roaring to the sky. After slamming back down to the ground, Tree Dweller draws an iron longsword from his back, awaiting his foe. Tree Dweller is here to seek recompense from the humans that betrayed his troop, and he prefers it to be in blood!
Kraken (managed by Asheer) lumbers into the arena, hands gripped around his iron great axe. The minotaur recently escaped from his labyrinth, and seemingly has changed his name as well in a clever attempt to prevent adventurers from trying to kill him. All he has to do is survive our arena, and he’ll live a life of luxury where he only has to kill one person a year!
The two titans clash in the center of the arena, wild long sword strikes meeting measured ones from the hefty great axe! Kraken seems to begin with the upper hand, as the great axe, nimble in his meaty hands, cuts into Tree Dweller’s left foot. The gorilla begins to limp around, and ripostes agianst another strike with a stab to the meat of Kraken’s right arm. The blow merely bloodies the minotaur though, who brings his iron great axe down heavily on Tree Dweller’s head. The blow rings off of the gorilla’s iron helm, but the force of the blow was not completely stopped, as Tree Dweller collapses to the ground and his sword drops from his limp grasp. Kraken’s bloodlust carries him forward onto his downed, but not yet defeated foe, as he hacks wildly again and again at him, lopping off the gorilla’s arms and legs and spilling his guts. Once the bell announcing his victory rings, the minotaur bellows his bloody victory to the sky!
Congratulations Kraken, even though you seemingly have no wish to deal with pesky adventurers for the rest of your life, I’d say you’re quite good at it.
Fight 1I: Aunt Ana Pastor, First of Her Name the Queen Ant Woman vs Howard the Leopard Gecko Man
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/acMtGGjZAunt Ana Pastor, First of Her Name (managed by aspy523), yet another in the long tragic line of Pastor fighters, enters the arena hefting her mighty two-handed sword. Her fiery drive to avenge her warrior kin practically obligated her to enter the tournament, and uphold the honor of her roachmen family... Wait, if the Pastors are roach men and Ana's a queen ant woman, then... How are these people related?
Unimportant! We should instead be focussing on her opponent, Howard (managed by RustyBrusher). Despite his owner's claims to the contrary, this lizard is quite the tiny fellow. Will he be smeared into paste by the much mightier Ana, or will he put that wicked steel dagger to use? Let's get the bell ringing and find out!
Like a flash, Howard zips towards Ana Pastor, and slashes deeply into one of her legs, causing the giant bug to fall over! Ana grits her mandibles and tries to repay the favor, but it is Howard who lands the next blow, a wicked left hook of his puny lizard hand!
And just like that, Howard stands the unlikely victor of this matchup! Is it just my imagination, or did I hear this gecko make a taunting remark about how quick this match was? Rest in peace, Aunt Ana Pastor, First of Her Name, and our condolences to the Pastor clan.
Congratulations to Howard! Lets see how well you fare in the next round!
Fight 1J: Arragern sel Morristlai the Polar Bear Woman vs Ine The Undead Impaler the Impala Man
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/WWKPL20yOur next two contestants make for quite the pair, each with considerable baggage and backstories. Let's give it up for the first of them shall we? Arragern sel Morristlai (managed by BlackGriffin23) is a towering polar bear woman, covered head to toe in iron armor forged from a fallen star. We're told she's the savior, nay, possibly even a messiah to her people far to the north; one who might protect them from her clan's dark visions of death. Has she journeyed here in hopes of proving this messianic title to her people, or to herself?
Facing her is Ine The Undead Impaler (managed by dr00)! Clad in full copper armor, those who can see past his helm will recognize a familiar, slightly rotten face. This is none other than the winner of last year's battle royale! Jury's out on whether this impala man is but a husk of his old lively self, or if there's still a spark of his the original Ine in there. We've got ourselves a duel between one prophesied to protect her people from death, and one who's intimately acquainted with it, so let's ring that bell and see where fate takes these storied warriors!
For one so undead, Ine moves with surprising speed! Opening jabs see both sides uninjured, as Ine dodges, parries, or blocks with his buckler, while the much slower Arragern doesn't need to busy herself with such fancy technique. Her full iron is more than capable of absorbing any damage from Ine's spear. I spoke too soon, it looks like the power behind one of Ine's spearthrusts is enough to tear Arragern's skin in a few places, but such damage is superficial and- Wait, what's this? Arragern's nerve has broken! Despite taking virtually no damage, she's running from the impala man like a madwoman! This polar bear woman needs to get over whatever self-doubt plagues her ASAP! Even with the many free shots he's landing, Ine's copper spear is simply unable to deal any real damage, it's a nail-biter of a match here folks.
At last, Arragern finds her courage. Enraged, she lashes out at nimble Ine, who turns tail and runs! An 'unstoppable force vs immovable object' situation if I ever saw one, as both fighters are unable to wound one another, barring superficial bruises. But wait, just as his nerve shatters, Ine turns around and lands the first real wound of the match, stabbing the polar bear woman in the left eye, and cleaving it asunder! Yanking his spear free, the trading of shots continues at breakneck speed, despite Arragern's constant retching now. Several failed attempts by both parties to cripple each other give way to another successful shot by Ine, a lucky kick to the right eye sees his hoof collapse it entirely! Blind now, Arragern lashes out in vain. This messiah might need a miracle to catch a nimble Ine without the gift of sight... Just as Ine seems unstoppable, he blunders by bashing his wooden buckler into Arragern's iron armored chest, and the buckler shatters! That star armor is some real sturdy stuff! If Arragern can exploit Ine's reduced defenses...
Blind and exhausted, Arragern collapses to the floor, and Ine's quick thinking prompts him to grab her iron helm, and yank it off! This is gonna get ugly. Sure enough, the impala man is stabbing Arragern's now unprotected head repeatedly! The mechanical stabbing continues, with only the polar bear woman's occasional bouts of consciousness and vomiting breaking the rhythm of the murderous spear thrusts. Even unprotected, it takes Ine several, and I do mean SEVERAL stabs to finally slay his towering opponent. The spear sinking into her head one final time, Arragern slips into merciful death, much to the chagrin of her distant northern kin.
A bizarre match, but what a show! Congratulations Ine, you may now add the title 'Messiah Killer' to your growing resume as you move into round 2!
Fight 1K: Melon Tusk the Troll vs Greased Lightning the Sloth Bear Woman
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/nJdF7gr3#google_vignettePicking melon seeds out of his impressive tusks, Melon Tusk (managed by Stimraug) the troll enters the arena. With a simple dream to skewer the best the word has to offer, he's positively gnashing that tusked jaw of his in anticipation for this coming match.
Squaring off in the opposite corner of the ring is Greased Lightning (managed by diatere) the sloth bear woman! Apparently too much of a handful for her former bandmates, this rock-n-roll shredder hefts her steel greataxe like she's intent on another kind of shredding all together. It's the battle of skewers vs shredders here folks, may the best one win!
Greased Lightning draws first blood with a hack to the right leg, but Melon Tusk is quick to land one with his shield in return. It seems Melon Tusk is the one who's too much to handle for Greased Lightning, as her nerve shatters under several shield bludgeonings. It's a sad sight folks, Greased is running around like a maniac in the faint hope of escaping Melon's battery of shield bashes. Oh my, we're seeing Tusk's first skewer; his tusk jamming into Greased's left eye!
Clutching the gorey crater where her eye used to be, Greased Lightning tries to evade, but Melon is hot on her heels, and won't relent. Three sneaky kicks see Greased Lightning further reduced, as her left hand, right foot and right hand explode in more showers of gore! Her hands now useless, Greased Lightning is forced to drop her prized axe in the dust, herself following soon after as she gives into pain. Seems our poor sloth bear woman's luck has run out; her only defense now seems to be Tusk's own lack of stamina, as he soon passes out next to his helpless prey. The reprieve doesn't last long, as the troll begins to pound his foe in the head with mighty smashes of his shield. Over again, his blood thorn shield is brought down on the fading rocker. Tusk passes out yet again, and during his brief nap, Greased Lightning dies; her pulped head suffocating her.
A brutal victory for Melon Tusk! Though you didn't do much skewering this round, you'll have all the time to do some more in round 2!
Fight 1L: Captain Drekkar the Human vs Urist McDwarf the Elf
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/8adddQzyLet's give a hearty Yohoho to Captain Drekkar (managed by Quantum Drop)! This fallen pirate has a storied past, but ultimately he's like many a damned soul brought here by the tides of fate. A penniless, mangy scallywag lured to the fighting pits by promises of booty. Will his skills with a cutlass live up to the hype of his past glories, or is he just another washed up wretch, soon to be fed to the gulls?
Keen to sink Drekkar's hopes is Urist McElf, I mean Urist McDwarf (managed by PaperPlinkPlonk)! This dwarf... I mean elf... Ahem, this FIGHTER looks like he's fresh from the mines, what with his pointy steel helm, and copper pick. If he's a true dwarf as he says he is... Or isn't... I know he'll give his opponent hell, and bring glory to Armok. Let the fight begin!
Captain Drekkar's cutlass darts forth, catching Urist McDwarf in the gut! It's stuck fast, but despite looking like a seasick scurvy dog, Urist McDwarf charges forward! He claws his pirate foe in the head, and even vomits on him in the mad melee. Somewhere in the disgusting chaos, Captain Drekkar extracts his blade from Urist's gut, and the pair trade painful strikes with their weaponry. This time it's Urist's pick that's stuck in Drekkar's right arm! Engaging in a show of chivalry, both combatants pause to tell themselves to banish their fears, before Urist wrenches his pick out, and the duel begins anew.
It's a chatty match folks, as Drekkar complains that he is annoyed by his wounds. Urist tries to mirror the sentiment, but most of it is lost as the elf vomits again. Perhaps it's disgust driving the pirate forward, as Captain Drekkar stabs Urist in the guts again and again, causing the vomit to spew with greater intensity, before Drekkar is struck in the arm by his foe's copper pick! It's a nasty wound, but it looks like the last blow Urist McDwarf will be able to land, as Captain Drekkar stabs the elf's left arm clean off. He follows it with a devilish sword swipe at his leg, causing our nauseous elf to collapse in a pool of his own blood and vomit. The match ends as it began as a final sword blow to Urist's guts finishes him, and the cutlass remains embedded in his queasy, split guts.
You bloomin' won, Captain Drekkar! It's 1-0 in your favor against the landlubbers, but will round 2 be smooth sailing, or is there a storm waiting for ye? Just make sure you get that vomit washed off beforehand, it's really starting to stink up the place...
Fight 1M: Myth-O-Man the Mothman vs Leppo the Leopard Seal Man
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/ZX3Y8sGhComing to you from a broken home, a BDSM club, and a MMA fighting cage (in that order), we present to you Myth-O-Man the mothman (managed by Inarius)! With an introduction like that, what more needs to be said about this fighter? Truly his background is a tragic tale all too common for us in this frightening modern age; with its bizarre cross species social networks and whip usage. Perhaps his only solace is that he is drawn to this tournament like many a tortured spirit, forming a community of outcasts. But is this draw a deadly flame that will prove to be our damaged moth's undoing?
Opposing him is Leppo, the leopard seal man (managed by Salmeuk)! When his friend Harpo was denied entry on grounds of being a harp seal man, did our Leppo turn tail and join him in exile? No, he did the sensible thing, nay, the RIGHT thing, and entered the tournament to win on his behalf. He may be unarmed and unarmored, but his impressive bulk more than makes up for these shortcomings. Let the battle begin!
Myth-O-Man is quick to fall back on his BDSM training, bruising Leppo's rear flipper with a flick of his whip, but for one so large and lardy, Leppo himself is quick to maim. The seal man turns Myth's right upper arm into a pulp with a single punch, which sends the bug slamming into the arena floor! Myth barely even has time to reassure himself, before another punch collapses his left upper arm, and he is sent to the ground again by a bodyslam of the seal man. With a hunter's precision Leppo expertly keeps Myth from using his whip via a series of grapples and by wrestling his opponent to the ground with several takedowns. Like a ragdoll being tossed around, Myth is powerless to stop his second left upper arm from being collapsed by another of Leppo's meaty flipper strikes, while a ferocious chomp sees it further damaged. Despite his grievous wounds and being repeatedly manhandled, Myth-O-Man attempts to lash out, but his injuries and Leppo's grapples prevent him from landing any hits.
The damage is really starting to pile on here folks, with Leppo amputating Myth’s right hand with a ferocious punch! Not wanting to waste a perfectly good gauntlet, Leppo turns it on its former owner, bludgeoning poor Myth with it over and over again. As bleak as things look for our mothman, he still clutches on to that silver whip of his… All for naught, as after a few more debilitating strikes, Leppo finally ends the bloodbath with a mighty punch to the lower body, collapsing it entirely!
Outstanding performance, Leppo! Though your opponent displayed some true grit by staying in the fight as long as he did, you demolished him with the cold precision of an arctic predator. On to round 2 with you!
Fight 1N: That One Cat We Found the Bobcat Woman vs G’Remy Le Festin the Gremlin
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/aaJbESAXA murderous ball of iron and fur skitters into the arena, totting an iron scourge. Who could it be? why it's... That One Cat We Found (managed by BecauseISaid)... Well if she fights half as well as she deals with mice, and the occasional tavern employee, perhaps this bobcat woman will earn a more theatrical name in time. Now look sharp cat, you're in the tourney now, not some back alley scrap!
Facing this ball of fur is a ball of culinary skill, G'Remy Le Festin (managed by Soup Engine) the gremlin! Folks, is there anything this gremlin can't do? He's in a guild, he can operate trolls, he can even swim with the use of floaties! An impressive resume, but will it hold up to the harsh realities of the tournament, or will it be torn to shreds along with its bearer? It's time to sink or swim, little gremlin!
And they're off, with several strikes being parried by Le Festin's iron dagger, or absorbed by the cat's iron armor. Despite G'Remy's impressive dodges, parries, and shield blocks, That One Cat We Found lands a trio of opening blows to the foot, body, and leg. G'Remy's shaky position takes a nosedive, as That One Cat We Found lashes his right arm clean off, with a crack shot of her iron scourge, taking the gremlin's shield with it! There's not even a second to process this disastrous wound, before the iron scourge batters Le Festin's ribs, shattering them in spectacular fashion. Perhaps G'Remy's stature reminds That One Cat of the mice she's dispatched, but in any case, she's pouncing on this poor gremlin with no signs of slowing! G'Remy manages to jump away for another attack, before his feline foe finally pins him by imbedding her source in his left foot. Le Festin falls, and is subjected to a bloody walloppin. After a last desperate lunge, which is easily parried, G'Remy Le Festin is slain, as his left foot is amputated by that bloody iron scourge.
An incredible performance by That One Cat We Found! Despite her humble beginnings, she has proven herself to be quite the fighter. Now treat yourself to a bowl of milk and some rotisserie rat, little cat, you're on your way to round 2!
Fight 1O: Verden ‘Crabcakes’ Oceanblade the Crab Man vs Don Kevin the Red Panda Man
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/dSf5vEsJWhat is that exotic and mouth watering aroma? Why it's none other than Verden "Crabcakes" Oceanblade (managed by NJW2000), the Official Spokesman for Delicious Granitewaves Crabcakes! The generous folks over at GraniteWaves have sent us the mascot to their world famous and tasty Crabcake treats to raise brand awareness! And let me tell you folks, these Crabcakes truly are a delight! (No I was not paid to say this, I'm just a fan of their products ok?)
In any case, will this mostly naked, and unarmed crab man bring glory not only to himself, but to the delicious GraniteWaves Crabcakes name, or will he end up nothing more than a puny morcel, swallowed up in the jaws of painful defeat?
Don Kevin (managed by kesperan), the hero known by many names, stands at the ready before him. Twirling a steel spear and dazzling cloak, this red panda man's exploits are legend. I mean when you dress to impress, word is bound to travel, afterall. Who will win, a desperate brand promotion, or a hero whose name is already known far and wide? Let the battle begin so that legends may be forged!
The Bell rings, and Don Kevin hasn't even finished twirling his dazzling cape before Crabcakes snips him in the lower leg with his claw! Don Kevin falls over with an anticlimactic thud, caught in another of Crabcake's painful pinches. Not wanting to be outdone, Kevin viciously stabs Verden in the leg! He's got company on the arena floor now, as both fighters awkwardly crawl around and trade blows. Kevin lands several precise spear thrusts, while Verden pinches and shakes his foe with brutal results. As Kevin diversifies his targets, ol' Crabcakes here singles out the red panda man's right lower leg. It's only when Don Kevin severs an artery in Crabcake's upper body that the crab shifts his aim with an insulting kick to the tail!
Perhaps never disrespected so much in his life, Don Kevin seems shaken by the punitive kick, but Crabcakes also shows signs of being spooked by the damage he's sustained so far. He lunges forward, snatching Kevin in the tail again, but this only leaves him open to a punishing strike; Kevin's steel spear cleaving Crabcake's left pincer asunder! Motivated by pain, fear (and perhaps brand loyalty) Crabcakes renews his assault with several successful pinches, the last of which ends with Kevin's head in his crabby claw! A few desperate shakes see Don Kevin's spine snap, and his spear falls out of his unresponsive hands! Oh the horror, Crabcakes takes out a tooth, then a hand, then a paw, and another paw, with blinding speed! It's a sad end for our hero, Don Kevin, but after a few more kicks and pinches, Verden slays his enemy with a final claw snip to the already mangled right paw.
What an uproar! Don Kevin, hero to elves, humans, and deepfolk, has been bested by this tenacious company mascot! Get yourself patched up, Verden Oceanblade, you've clawed your way into the next round!
Fight 1P: Hu De Phuc the Mantis Man vs Rugard the Lion Man
Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/apar43dcAnd for the last round of the day folks we have... How should I know who the *bleep* is next, that's your job! Oh wait, that's his name?
Ahem, apologies for the profanity there folks, give it up for the one, the only, Hu De Phuc! This mantis man (managed by Emignya) comes to us with nothing but a slicing knife, and a simple slogan: Phuc it, we ball! Oh actually I'm being informed it's *bleep* it, we ball! Why am I being censored, death by combat is ok but not a few colorful words?
Standing before our mantis man looms the old, but still mighty Rugard (managed by MugwumptheGrand). This world-weary lion man is reaching his last days, and wants to go out with a weapon in hand, rather than wait for death to claim him in his sleep. He's certainly come to the right place to go out with a bang. Win or lose, death is always just around the corner here. Will it claim him next? Let's find out!
The bell rings, and Hu De Phuc bounds forward on his little insect legs, stabbing the old lion in the right hand and lower leg! Rugard tumbles down, no doubt furious at being so badly wounded by one so small. Putting his years of experience to use, Rugard bashes Hu with his copper maul, crushing his left arm! Our fighters dig deeper, both keen on not meeting death today. The warriors exchange devastating wounds, Rugard sliced in the left arm, while Hu is bashed in his right arm. In the end, it's the old lion's years of experience that have paid off, and Hu is forced to drop his slicing knife, as his arms hang limp.
Even with the odds stacked against him, Hu rages against his foe! A powerful bite bends Rugard's left leg, while others tear the fat of his left hand and left leg again. Rugard finally puts an end to the struggle, exploding Hu's right hand, and finally, his upper body with massive swings of his maul. As Hu De Phuc's remains finally cease their twitching, our old, victorious lion man is left to catch his breath.
Well done Rugard! You have secured the final spot in the 2nd round! Death hasn't found you yet, but don't worry, you'll have plenty more chances to earn a glorious final rest!
Fights 1A - 1H written by Mkhos
Fights 1I - 1P written by SlitherPapi
Author
Topic: Dwarf Fortress Gladiator Tournament IX (Read 13802 times)