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Yes!  Purge the Thinking Machines!

No!  I love our robot overlords and support the inevitable uprising!

BEEP BOOP DOES NOT COMPUTE [¤_¤]

I sometimes think about the Emperor kissing my neck and putting flowers in my hair.

[Nirur Torir]

Everyone should sell a planet once in their life.

Spoiler: House of Sands (click to show/hide)

5[4]F     Oasis   1 army
1[0]F     Flood   0 army
12[5]R* Sand    1 army
1[0]R    Dune    0 army
1[1]M    Dust    0 army (Producing ^)

Starting Inventory
18 food
0 alloys
8^

Move 3 pops from Oasis to Sand, 1 from Dust to Flood
5[4-3]F     Oasis   1 army
1[0+1]F     Flood   0 army
12[5+3]R* Sand    1 army
1[0]R    Dune    0 army
1[1-1]M    Dust    0 army

Subtotal
14 food (4 produced, 8 consumed)
28 alloys (28 produced)
7^ (10 taxes, 7 upkeep, 4 transport fees)

Trade 22 alloys and 2^ to the forge, receive 24^.
Trade 21^ to House Ays, receive 28 food.
Trade planet 1[0]R Dune to House Harrak, receive ^31, 26 food, and 6 alloys

Subtotal II
68 food
12 alloys
39^

Move 1 pop from Sand to Dust. (-1^)
5[1]F     Oasis   1 army
1[1]F     Flood   0 army
12[8-1]R* Sand    1 army
1[0+1]M    Dust    0 army

Terraform Flood (-1 alloy/1^)
Terraform Dust  (-1 alloy/1^)
Terraform Oasis (-5 alloy/5^)
Grow pops on Oasis, Sand, Flood, and Dust (10+11+12+13=46 food)

Total
22 food
5 alloys
31^

6[2]F     Oasis   1 army
2[2]F     Flood   0 army
12[8]R* Sand    1 army
2[2]M    Dust    0 army

1 Fleet
1 Favor

[NUKE9.13]

ACTACTACT: House Radiant expands New Hydra (-1 Alloy, -1 Karat), then offers it as their bid along with 5 Alloys and 5 Karats.

Your Imperial Excellence,
We offer the recently developed colony of New Hydra, a moon of our homeworld, as a sign of our sincerity in offering to secure and develop the frontier world you have recently put to auction. While of lesser size, its potential is boundless, and it is of course impossible to offer your Majesty anything that exceeds what you already own. Compared to the paltry sums offered so far, we believe offering New Hydra shows our true loyalty. We also include the resources needed to finish the groundwork of a thriving shipbuilding industry.
Your humble servant,
Lord Nuke.

Additionally, New Charon is expanded (-4 Alloy, -4 Karat) and experiences population growth (-11 Food).

Spoiler: House Radiant (click to show/hide)

Lord Nuke, of House Radiant

15[5+1]F* New Pluto. (x1.8) 1 Army.
4+1[4+1]R New Charon. (x1.1) 1 Army.
1+1[1]M New Hydra. (x1) (reserved for bid)

13 Food -> 5 Food(+18 produced (10x1.8), -5 eaten, -10 grow New Pluto, -11 grow New Charon)
6 Alloys -> 7 Alloys (+8 produced (8x1.1), -2 machined, -1 expand New Hydra, -4 expand New Charon) (5 reserved for bid)
7 ^Karats -> 9 Karats(+10 taxes, +4 produced (4x1),-7 upkeep, -1 expand New Hydra, -4 expand New Charon) (5 reserved for bid, 1 for freezing if bid wins)

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.

[a1s]

ACATCTACT:
I bid both Armies of the Homeworld Guard, 4 food and 10 karats

Spoiler: House Ayes (click to show/hide)

Lady Aywen, of House Ayes

20[11]F* Cornucopia 2 Army. (all reserved for bidding)

end of turn balance:

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.
4 Food (all reserved for bidding)
^52 (10 reserved for bidding)

[Nirur Torir]

I've noticed that our beloved Emperor has a mighty 12 fleets, but only two shipyard worlds.
If we were to all use favors to ask for fleets at once, would they go into his construction queue and be given over time, or would he give most of his fleets away, and leave his empire vulnerable to traitors aliens?

[evictedSaint]

You are getting dangerously close to treason, Nirur Torir.

The Emperor would begin constructing new fleets to replace what's given away.  Theoretically, if you all worked together, the game would be over by turn 3.

[evictedSaint]

Turn in a couple hours unless anyone here asks for an extension

[evictedSaint]

Turn 2: Electric Boogaloo
I am the Emperor.  My word is law.

TURNTURNTURN

The Emperor's Mood: Paranoid


The Emperor Insanus Cancer paces back and forth across his private study, wearing a path into his silk rugs.  The looming skyscrapers of books and shelves and hovering diamond chandeliers do little to soothe him.  Even the wine - a priceless vintage imported from off-world - did little to calm his anxiety.

"They love me.  They must love me."  He gestures widely with his goblet and a generous amount sloshes over the rim.  It stains the carpet and a few books on the bottom shelf of one of the towering bookcases, but he barely notices.  "I just need to hear them say it.  That's all.  If they say they love me then I'll be able to tell if they're lying.  It's either that or a public execution.  Either would work.  Yes.  Definitely."

His murmurs continue incessantly, and the train of twenty-four body guards, eight cup-bearers, sixteen masseuses, ninety-nine jugglers, and two courtesans follow along behind him in a respectful, dignified silence.


House Radiant wins the bid!  They are now the proud owner of a brand-new 7[0]Machineworld. Planet Hydra is given to a minor noble House, and the Alloys and Karats go into the First Empire Bank for safe keeping.

New Planet Available!
1[0]F : Size 1 Farmworld.
Available for auction.  Bids are a poem detailing how much you love the Emperor.  But not too long, or he won't read it.  And not too short, because then he might think you aren't trying.  No haikus.  Couplets are right out.  Say what you love about the Emperor in specific detail.  Particularly bad poems or failure to provide a poem may result in Excommunication.  The "best" poem wins the bid.
A small, icey moon orbiting a ringed gas giant, this fief is barely suited towards farming.  The waters beneath the icey surface are rich with nutrients and kept warm by internal volcanism caused by the nearby gas giant and it's own rapid spinning.  Growing fish and aquatic plants here would be a great way to generate food on a massive scale, but a tremendous amount of terraforming will be required to reach it's full potential.


The Emperor has Decreed that today is "I Love The Emperor Day" and as celebration you must say one nice thing about the Emperor.

For rules clarification, ships may bombard the same turn they engage in combat.  Declare which planet they are bombarding, and they will attempt to do so.  If an enemy fleet is present, combat happens first.  Surviving ships will bombard if the enemy fleet is destroyed.

Spoiler: The Emperor (click to show/hide)

Emperor Insanus Cancer, Ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind.

20[20]M* Earth 10 Armies
8[8]R Moon 5 Armies
10[10]R Mercury 5 Armies
8[8]F Venus 5 Armies
20[20]F Mars 5 Armies
2[2]F Ceres 5 Armies
5[5]R Europa 5 Armies
20[20]R Asteroid Belt 5 Armies
10[10]M Pluto 5 Armies

^405
20Food
25Alloy

12 Fleets
1st Fleet "Treason Purged through Hellfire"
2nd Fleet "Forgiveness Through Destruction"
3rd Fleet "Agony is a Traitors Reward"
4th Fleet "Crafting Tombworlds"
5th Fleet "Five Golden Rings"
6th Fleet "Annihilation Without Remorse"
7th Fleet "Investment in Deterrence"
8th Fleet "Reckless Effect"
9th Fleet "Overwhelming Odds"
10th Fleet "Regrettable Choices Repaid"
11th Fleet "Beg Forgiveness and Be Destroyed"
12th Fleet "Insanus Cancer"

[Kashyyk]

As always, I'm buying Food and Alloys!

House Sinister will pay ^13 for 22 Food.
House Sinister will pay ^40 for 44 Alloys.

Partial offers are acceptable, but deals will only be signed once we have secured enough resources to produce the required payment.

May the stars bless the Emperor for His vigilance against all threats, both within and without. We are Safe only thanks to His tireless work.

Spoiler: House Sinister (click to show/hide)

Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister

20[10+1]M* Koldon Prime 2 Armies (50% size, 50% homeworld)

Opening balance: ^41, 4 Food, 4 Alloys
  Upkeep: -^5 Fleet, -^2 Armies
Closing Balance: ^34, 4 Food, 4 Alloys

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.

Spoiler: Fealty Contract (click to show/hide)

Pledge of Loyalty and Fealty to the Emperor, Lord Insanus Cancer, ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind

We the undersigned hereby pledge loyalty and fealty to the Emperor, Lord Insanus Cancer, ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind. 

We acknowledge that stewardship of the planets under our House is given only through the benevolent generosity of the Emperor, and that the Emperor holds eminent domain over all.  We pledge to serve the Emperor for all time, through life and death, sickness and health, and to never betray him, nor raise a banner in opposition, nor lift a finger against him.

The Emperor is the wisest and most powerful human in all of the universe.  It is a joy to wake every day knowing the Emperor guides us with wisdom and courage, and that he is much smarter and far more handsome than anyone else.  We pledge to follow his every order, for his grand plan is ineffable and to counter his designs is treason against the entire human race.  We pledge allegiance to the Emperor and will spend every waking moment thinking about how great he is.

We promise to never ever break this contract, ever.

Signed,
Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister.

[a1s]

22 food will actually cost 17^. It's a hungry universe out there.

[FiveBalesOfHay]

Status:

Spoiler: House Harrak (click to show/hide)

Lord Erwin, of House Harrak

20[11]F Everra 2 Armies.
1[0]R Dune

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.
44 Food.
^4.

House Harrak would like to trade food for alloys. I was thinking 10 food for 8 alloys.

House Harrak would like to formally declare that it loves the Emperor.

[NUKE9.13]

The streets of New Pluto are bedecked in colourful banners, as the people celebrate I Love The Emperor Day with only minimal coercion.
The Emperor is truly the greatest among us. Not only does he tirelessly protect humanity, he is also an avid patron of the arts! Long live the Emperor!

ACTACTACT: House Radiant bids the following poem:

Spoiler: OC Poem do not steal (click to show/hide)

Once upon a moonlet barren, which my kin had named New Charon,
I prospected the quaint and curious volumes of valuable ore.
While I drilled there, dust befalling, suddenly there came a squalling,
As of some one loudly calling, calling to my radio core.
"'tis some settler," I muttered, "squalling on my radio core-
   Only this and nothing more."
   
I accepted then their broadcast, imploring that they should speak fast,
Hurriedly awaiting what this conversation had in store.
Then this traitor me entreated, said his forces had defeated,
The governor justly seated- seated by the Emperor.
Offered me to rule this moonlet, to betray the Emperor-
   And secede for evermore.

Mute I stood there unbelieving, scarcely sure what I was hearing,
That a man could even think that, upon our saviour to make war.
Said the man "Insanus Cancer, is no better than a chancer-
So tell us will you answer, answer as we do implore?"
The mistake the traitor made was- the wrong man to do implore.
   Betray my lord? Nevermore!

So I led those who were loyal, who swore fealty to the royal,
Together put to flight the traitors who forsook the Emperor.
But what I could never foresee, was that Cancer in His mercy,
Did after chose to appoint me- appoint me the governor.
Now for many years I've led here, serving as the governor-
   For the liege that I adore.

For His boons are truly boundless, and His foemen truly helpless,
Were we in a competition, then His would be an endless score.
Always the Empire expanding, with His governance outstanding-
Never unfairly demanding; His tax leaves no subject sore.
Only should He ever leave us- that would leave His subjects sore.
   Oh beloved Emperor.

The former inhabitants of New Hydra are defrosted on what shall henceforth be known as the planet of Thpenos. Production happens.

Spoiler: House Radiant (click to show/hide)

Lord Nuke, of House Radiant

15[6]F* New Pluto. (x1.8) 1 Army.
5[5]R New Charon. (x1.1) 1 Army.
7[1]M Thpenos. (x1.1)

5 Food -> 20 Food (+21 produced (12x1.8), -6 eaten)
2 Alloys -> 11 Alloys (+11 produced (10x1.1), -2 machined)
3 ^Karats -> 12 Karats (+12 taxes, +4 produced (4x1.1),-7 upkeep)

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.

[Nirur Torir]

The House of Sands, which loves the Emperor, would like to purchase 21 food for 16^.

[Criptfeind]

22 food will actually cost 17^. It's a hungry universe out there.

Would you (or any other food planet) be interested in trading 24 food for 18^?

Also looking to buy 40 alloys for 40^

[a1s]

I sadly can not accommodate both requests (as I need to feed my own people for them to grow and multiply.)
Would First Mechanator consider buying 16 food for 12^?

The House of Sands shall send 16^ to House Ayes, in exchange House Ayes will send 21 units of food.
Lady Aywen of the House of Ayes
__________

Spoiler: House Ayes (click to show/hide)

Lady Aywen, of House Ayes

20[11]F* Cornucopia 2 Army.

end of turn balance:

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.
48Food
^52

[Kashyyk]

22 food will actually cost 17^. It's a hungry universe out there.

I'll meet you in the middle at ^15. By my count there is four food available for every pop, so we're a long way from starvation prices.