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Yes!  Purge the Thinking Machines!

No!  I love our robot overlords and support the inevitable uprising!

BEEP BOOP DOES NOT COMPUTE [¤_¤]

I sometimes think about the Emperor kissing my neck and putting flowers in my hair.

[Criptfeind]

First Mechanator of the Forge wins the bid!  The Emperor graciously grants the 5R world to Criptfiend.  Insanus Cancer accepts the Slag, then trades it to a minor House in exchange for their Fleet.

What? The emperor doesn't want to keep the slag as a private vacation world? I'm shocked. SHOCKED!

[evictedSaint]

Nope, I turned it into a fleet because I make the rules and can do that if I want to.

[Iris]

ACTACTACT: House Ravenwood submits the following to the Emperor:

Askja is not a particularly inviting world. Nearly cracked open by many asteroid bombardments in its early years, the particulates kicked up by those violent collisions still rain down as "ash" to this day. Askja is also violently volcanic, and eruptions often kick more particulates into the atmosphere, blotting out the sun for days at a time.

Nevertheless, there are a few hardy creatures that are adapted to these hostile conditions. One, somewhat fancifully-named, is the "ash-dragon". It is a large flying creature, with a wingspan several metres in length. It has a striking resemblance to certain legends from Old Earth, which gave rise to half of its name (now somewhat official, even among biologists). The second half is from its hunting habits - the ash-dragon is a carnivore, and its favoured way of killing prey is ambush from out of the dense clouds of ash. Although it is as blind as any other creature inside of the clouds, it is often seen to emerge from the clouds around volcanic springs, where the heat drives the ash away and many other creatures are known to feed.

With a great amount of effort, requiring no less than three regiments of the Askja Home Guard, House Ravenwood has captured a specimen and offers it for the Emperor's zoo.

House Ravenwood takes the following actions this turn:

• Grow 1 pop on Seltun.
• Expand Seltun.
• Produce 12 alloy, 39 food, and 14^ in taxes.
• Move 1 pop from Seltun to Askja.
• Create two armies on Askja.
• Move 1 army from Askja to Seltun.

Spoiler: House Ravenwood (click to show/hide)

Possessions:
13+1[10+1]F* "Seltun", 2 Armies
9[4]R "Askja", 2 Armies

1 Fleet
 - 1st Fleet "Ymir"
 - 2nd Fleet "Skadi"
0 Favour
Resources:
Karats:
50^ in treasury

• +11^ (Taxes: Seltun)
• +5^ (Taxes: Askja)
• -4^ (Upkeep: 4 armies)
• -10^ (Upkeep: 2 fleets)
• -13^ (Expansion: Seltun)
• -20^ (2 Armies)
• -1^ (Relocation: 1 pop from Seltun to Askja)
• -1^ (Relocation: 1 army from Askja to Seltun)

= ^18

Food:
31 food in storage

• +39 food (Production: Seltun)
• -5 food (Consumption: Askja)
• -16 food (Growth: Seltun)
• -20 food (2 Armies)

= 29 food

Alloys:
5 alloy in storage

• +9 alloy (Production: Askja)
• -13 alloy (Expansion: Seltun)
• -20 alloy (2 Armies)

= 4 alloy

[Nirur Torir]

ACTACTACT: The House of Sands offers Mexican Sandhoffs for the Emperor's zoo.

Spoiler: Mexican Sandhoff (click to show/hide)

A rare desert creature, barely rescued from Ancient Earth. It's said that the first colonists to Oasis brought a pair as pets. This hoofed mammal has a fatty lump on its back. Legends say that ancient Earthlings sometimes stood on them, which gave their soldiers a higher vantage point than traditional horse cavalry, making sandhoff cavalry archers feared by their enemies' horsemen.

Other legends state other reasons for the weird lumps on their backs. Mexican Sandhoffs in their native deserts of Mexico often stood around in circles glaring at each other. The first to move would be charged at, shoulder-tackled, and slammed between the back-lumps of their rivals. Unfortunately, modern Mexican Sandhoffs appear to have forgotten this important behavior.

Note: Yes, this is a pun because of last turn's activities.

[Criptfeind]

ACTACTACT: The Forge is glad to pass information on the horrible creatures found within it's domain to the emperor. We only hope this inspires you to lead a crusade against our local fauna. Please. We need help.

The most famous inhabitant of the Wreck is the deadly Amco Trapper, so named after both it's behavior and the mysterious ancient Amco shuttle that our most long lived Wreck Zoologists believe that it first made it's way to the Wreck on.

The Trapper is well adapted to crawl though the confusing and often deadly passageways in the fused hulls of the Wreck, a glistening bulbous central body sprouts many long, flexible, and spindly legs that end in wide flat circular feet. Several sharp stabbing claws made of a hardened crystalline bone material act as both weapons and feeding tools for the creature. it skewers its prey and then shoves them into its mouth, a grinding circle of sharp teeth surrounded by quite a few small red eyes. The creature is most often silent, but when approaching helpless trapped prey it will sometimes make a extremely unpleasant chittering and whistling sound. Early investigations into this behavior thought that it was a form of communication with other trappers about the availability of food, but as the species tend to  be loners the more modern and popular theory is that it is maliciously mocking it's prey and inducing terror as impending doom approaches.

The most important feature the creature has though is it's bodies ability to secrete a transparent viscous glue like substance of various densities and types. This organic glue and a counter agent is excreted by it's feet to allow it to stick to objects and rapidly and adroitly move though the zero G environments it often finds itself within. It can also make stronger and stickier types of glue from specific limbs which it uses to set snares and traps though it's territory to catch it's unfortunate victims. Once a prey animal or Wreck worker is trapped in the nearly invisible glue it becomes practically impossible to escape without the dissolving reagent, and the poor victim can do nothing but wait for the trapper to come back and finish it off. Two more varieties of the substance can also be pushed out though it's pores all over it's body. Firstly it can cover its body in a wet loose secretion that is both very good at dissipating heat and resisting fires, and has interesting anti radiation properties, two very important survival skills on the Wreck. Secondly it can excrete a rapidly hardening variety that forms a shell or cocoon around the creature, it can partially cover itself with this to briefly travel though hard vacuum, or entirely encase itself and enter a form of hibernation.

The creature remains the apex predator on the Wreck, and a constant danger for workers assigned to salvage operations. We attempted to capture a live adult specimen but after a substantial number of casualties we settled for shipping a vat of eggs immersed in glue. Simply have any large organic creature, from experience we know human sized is appropriate, ingest one of the egg sacks and after 3-4 weeks of what is best described as "terrifying hallucinations" the subject will erupt into upwards of a dozen juvenile trappers. We suggest this is not done on a inhabited planet without sufficient precautions.

[FiveBalesOfHay]

Status:

Spoiler: House Harrak (click to show/hide)

Lord Erwin, of House Harrak

20[18]F Everra 2 Armies.
5[1]R Dune

2 Fleets.
1 Favor.
132 Food.
55 Alloys.
^39.

[NUKE9.13]

ACTACTACT: If it pleases the Emperor, we offer a species native to New Pluto for his grand menagerie.

Spoiler: Undulating Grassback (click to show/hide)

I remember when all this was grass. Now it's bare rock. What happened?
Well, the grass got up and left.

The Undulating Grassback is... an animal-plant? Planimal? Let's go with planimal. Its size ranges from roughly half a meter for newly-sprouted entities, to twenty meters in the case of the most elderly (we've sent a selection of adults, averaging six meters across, for the Emperor's viewing pleasure (specimens much larger than this tend to be less active, and hence less interesting to watch)). They are typically circular, though more erratic shapes have been encountered. They are basically flat by nature, with adults no more than twenty centimetres thick.

As the name suggests, its 'back' is covered in a thick coat of a grass-like substance- which is part of the planimal, not a symbiotic species as early settlers postulated. The underside consists of innumerable root-legs, which it sinks into the ground when stationary, or uses to drag itself over the terrain.

While mobile grass is sort of interesting, the first half of the name comes from the species' unique reaction to predation by herbivores. When one individual is attacked, it sends a chemical signal to other Grassbacks in the area, drawing them close. Upon reaching the attacker, the other Grassbacks will- with surprising swiftness- rear up and flop over the hapless grazer. Once the attacker has been piled onto by several Grassbacks, the attackee will crawl out from underneath, leaving the animal trapped until it dies, typically of dehydration. Of course, the attacker rarely takes this lying down, and will try desperately to free itself- it is the motions of the animal beneath the pile of Grassbacks that causes their eponymous undulation.

(We've included a secondary shipment of goats, which can be thrown into the Grassback enclosure should the Emperor wish to witness their unusual behaviour. The goats are not interesting, they are identical to old-earth goats. Goats are immutable.)

NOTE: Like all species native to New Pluto, the Undulating Grassback is used to a high level of deuterium in its water supply. Please water the Grassbacks with 10% heavy water.

Move 2 Pops from New Pluto to New Charon. Move 2 Pops from Thpenos to New Charon. Production happens. Terraform New Charon. Grow pops on New Pluto and New Charon.

Spoiler: House Radiant (includes military deployment stuff) (click to show/hide)

Lord Nuke, of House Radiant

16[11+1]F* New Pluto. (x1.9) 1 Army.
8+1[8+1]R New Charon. (x1.2) 1 Army.
7[0]M Thpenos. (x1.1)

8 Food -> 2 Food (+41 produced (22x1.9), -8 eaten, -19 grow, -20 grow)
0 Alloys -> 11 Alloys (+19 produced (16x1.2), -8 terraform)
7 ^Karats -> 7 Karats (+19 taxes, -7 upkeep, -4 move pops, -8 terraform)

1 Favour.

MILITARY MATTERS
Fleets: 1.
Defending: House Ayes, House Nagant, House Durin, House Ravenwood, House Vix, House Harrak
Defended by: House Ayes, House Nagant, House Durin, House Ravenwood, House Vix,  House Harrak

[a1s]

Spoiler: House Ayes (click to show/hide)

Lady Aywen, of House Ayes

20[14]F* Cornucopia
10[2]R Scrapheap

end of turn balance:

1 Fleet.
no Favour.
59 Food
5 alloy
^134

[Nirur Torir]

The House of Sands would like to buy 24 food for 21^, and sell 20 alloys.

[a1s]

The House of Sands would like to buy 24 food for 21^, and sell 20 alloys.

How about a straight swap of one for the other?

[Nirur Torir]

Sure.

The House of Sands will sell 20 alloys to House Ayes, in exchange for 24 food.
Nirur, of the House of Sands
______

[a1s]

The House of Sands will sell 20 alloys to House Ayes, in exchange for 24 food.
Nirur, of the House of Sands
Lady Aywen, of House Ayes

Expand Scrapheap
increase pops on both planets

Spoiler: House Ayes (click to show/hide)

Lady Aywen, of House Ayes

20[14+1]F* Cornucopia
10+1[2+1]R Scrapheap

end of turn balance:

1 Fleet.
no Favour.
2 Food
15 alloy
^124

[Nirur Torir]

Spoiler: House of Sands (click to show/hide)

7[5]F     Oasis   1 army
2[2]F     Flood   0 army
16[16]R* Sand    1 army
2[0]M    Dust    0 army

Start Resources
0 food
1 alloy
12^

After Production
0+15-16=-1 food
1+60=61 alloys
12+23-17=18^

Grow 1 on Oasis costs 23
Terraform Oasis costs 7+7^

-24 food
54 alloys
11^

Trade with House Ayes: Sell 20 alloys for 24 food

Total
0 food
34 alloys
11^

8[6]F     Oasis   1 army
2[2]F     Flood   0 army
16[16]R* Sand    1 army
2[0]M    Dust    0 army

0 favor
2 fleets
  1st Fleet of Sands
  7th Fleet "Investment in Deterrence"

[FiveBalesOfHay]

Grow Everra and Dune, and terraform Dune.

Spoiler: House Harrak (click to show/hide)

Lord Erwin, of House Harrak

20[19]F Everra 2 Armies.
6[2]R Dune

2 Fleets.
1 Favor.
93 Food.
50 Alloys.
^34.

ACTACTACT
House Harrak submits the following to the Emperor's Zoo:

Spoiler: Equus Iuvo (click to show/hide)

A small ship lands at the future site of the Imperial Zoo. Inside are two tawny horse-like creatures, and a screen which flares to life and displays a person reading out the following:

“Everra, as you probably know, has no native xenofauna species. Instead, it is notable for being extremely similar to Earth, making a fantastic location for quick and safe terraforming. Today it is covered in sprawling farms, with no large regions without any human activity. These farms obviously need a great deal of work to maintain, and though Everra’s people are constantly at work, many machines are needed to keep Everra’s farms productive. This fact forms the central problem in Everra’s economic growth: the planet is incredibly poor in natural metals, and metals are expensive to ship in from other planets. To make up for this deficiency in workforce, a decades-long genetics program was launched which turned the common horse (Equus Caballus) into what we now know as the Yuvo (Equus Iuvo).

This species was designed primarily for intelligence and trainability. They have a flexible mouth which can act as a Yuvo’s 'hand', and is good enough for performing simple tasks like picking crops. They are also very good at recognizing commands, and some farmers report that their Yuvos know hundreds of words! Unfortunately, the Yuvo Cognitive Understanding Team had to be disbanded due to ethical issues involving their language department… so we really don’t know how much they can learn. Over the many years Everrans have lived with Yuvos, they’ve become absolutely vital to our economy. A recent census estimates that there are almost as many Yuvos on Everra as humans! A Yuvos favorite food is the Everran sugarapple. We’ve included a bushel of them along with the animals.

The Yuvo is edible, and is actually quite delicious! Unfortunately, our farmers are loath to eat them as many consider Yuvos to be 'too intelligent' to be eaten.”

[Kashyyk]

ActActAct: Bid the Army Sons of Koldon, and 40 Alloys for the planet, and offer Koldon's prized bioform, the Magnetithicus Voltaceani "Ridgebacked Krillick", aka the Arc-Throwing Crustacean, or Linesman's Nemesis.

Spoiler: Ridgebacked Krillick (click to show/hide)

Evolved over countless generations on the machineworld of Koldon Prime, the Ridgebacked Krillick is typically hand-sized, with eight limbs and a hardened exodermis.

If one goes exploring into the many miles of subterranean tunnels that permeate the planet, you are frequently going to come across the heavy duty power cables that feed the industrial centers. Those carrying delicate electronics, metallic objects, or low quality dental fillings are recommended to stay away from these conduits lest they suffer ill effects, and yet you will frequently spot lone Krillicks scuttling along the cables, thanks to their electric blue bioluminescence along tne ridges that give the creatures its name.

It is not clear if the Krillick is drawn to faults in a power line, or if they are the cause, for their small serrated forelimbs are adapt are grinding away at even toughened shielding. But, wherever there is a weakening in the protection you will find a colony of the creatures and thus the majority of their interesting behaviour.

Thanks to a small organ in the main body, it is able to convert the fluctuation of an electromagnetic field(such as exposed AC cable) into energy, and thus locations where the field is stronger attracts more Krillick. As they feed on more energy, their bioluminescence increases along with their size, with no apparent maximum. Although we were not able to secure such extreme samples for the Emperor, specimens as large as an autocar have been rumoured to exist.

Eventually, a drop in expected power transfer will be reach a threshold, and a team will be dispatched to resolve the issue. However, these creatures are quite territorial, and will discharge stored electricity in great arcs to impress mates, defeat rivals, and deters threats, such as an industrial linesman trying to repair a fault.

Also, I'm interested in purchasing at least 10 food, for ^8.

Spoiler: House Sinister (click to show/hide)

Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister

20[15]M* Koldon Prime  (50% size, 50% homeworld) (23/35)
 - Army: 1st Ducal Guard "Sons of Koldon"
 - Army: 2nd Ducal Guard "Iron Hearts"

Opening balance: ^72, 98 Alloys, 20 Food
  Koldon Prime: -15 Food, ^50, -50 Alloys, +30 Effort, +^15
  Upkeep: -^10 Fleets, -^2 Armies
Closing Balance: ^25, 48 Alloys, 5 Food

1 Fleet
1st Fleet "Peace in our Time"
2nd Fleet "Walk Softly"

Spoiler: Fealty Contract (click to show/hide)

Pledge of Loyalty and Fealty to the Emperor, Lord Insanus Cancer, ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind

We the undersigned hereby pledge loyalty and fealty to the Emperor, Lord Insanus Cancer, ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind. 

We acknowledge that stewardship of the planets under our House is given only through the benevolent generosity of the Emperor, and that the Emperor holds eminent domain over all.  We pledge to serve the Emperor for all time, through life and death, sickness and health, and to never betray him, nor raise a banner in opposition, nor lift a finger against him.

The Emperor is the wisest and most powerful human in all of the universe.  It is a joy to wake every day knowing the Emperor guides us with wisdom and courage, and that he is much smarter and far more handsome than anyone else.  We pledge to follow his every order, for his grand plan is ineffable and to counter his designs is treason against the entire human race.  We pledge allegiance to the Emperor and will spend every waking moment thinking about how great he is.

We promise to never ever break this contract, ever.

Signed,
Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister.