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Yes!  Purge the Thinking Machines!

No!  I love our robot overlords and support the inevitable uprising!

BEEP BOOP DOES NOT COMPUTE [¤_¤]

I sometimes think about the Emperor kissing my neck and putting flowers in my hair.

[Iris]

Updated accounting.

Spoiler: House Ravenwood (click to show/hide)

Possessions:
12[7+1]F* "Seltun", 1 Army
8[4]R "Askja", 1 Army

1 Fleet
1 Favour
Resources:
Karats:
8^ in treasury

• +7^ (Taxes: Seltun)
• +4^ (Taxes: Askja)
• -2^ (Upkeep: 2 armies)
• -5^ (Upkeep: 1 fleet)
• +15^ (Sale to House Sinister)
• +17^ (Sale to The Forge)

= 44^

Food:
9 food in storage

• +25 food (Production: Seltun)
• -11 food (Growth: Seltun)
• -4 food (Consumption: Askja)
• -7 food (Sale to House Sinister)
• -10 food (Sale to The Forge)

= 2 food

Alloys:
18 alloy in storage

• +9 alloy (Production: Askja)
• -10 alloy (Sale to House Sinister)
• -10 alloy (Sale to The Forge)

= 7 alloy

[Criptfeind]

ACTACTACT:

Spoiler: Ode to Insanus Cancer (click to show/hide)

Oh great Emperor of all you can see
Your genius reigns fair in the Galaxy
Your great wisdom and power keeps us free
The smartest man in all reality

A genius of war, we follow your plan
We fight under your orders invulnerable
So that your empire may rule in every land
Your intelegence incomprehensible

A warrior of infinite renowned
Bulging biceps and extremely tight glutes
So strong are you, any war is a playground
Ultimately your strength is absolute

How lucky are we to be able to see
A monarch of class whos looks ever beguile
Not to mention your extremely sharp goatee
Which goes very well with your great hairstyle

Spoiler: The Forge turn 2 (click to show/hide)

Criptfeind, First Mechanator of the Forge

Trade ^26 to house of sands for 26 alloy
Trade ^12 to House Ayes for 16 food
Spend ^1 to move pop from the Slag to the Forge
Activate The Forge to turn 32 alloy into 64^
Activate food planets for 8 food
Activate the Slag for 2 alloy
Trade ^17 to house ravenwood for 10 alloy and 10 food
Spend 2 alloy and ^2 to increase size of the Wet
Spend 2 alloy and ^2 to increase size of the Garden
Spend 13 food to grow pop on the Wet
Buy 2 food from the market for ^2
Spend 14 food growing The Garden


2+1[2+1]F The Garden.
2+1[2+1]F The Wet.
3[0]R The Slag. 1 Army.
1[0]R The Wreck.
12[9]M* The Forge. (multiply income by 1.8 (homeplanet bonus plus size bonus)) 1 Army.

0 Food (0 Starting 28 from trade 8 from food planets -9 from pop -27 from growing pop. (0+28+8-9-27=0)).
2 Alloy (2 starting 36 on trade 32 spent by the forge -4 from growing planets 2+36-32-4=2).
^42 (29 starting 13 from pops spend 53 on trade 64 gained from the forge -7 from military upkeep -4 from growing planets (29+13-53+64-7-4=34)).

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.

[Kashyyk]

House Sinister is still looking to buy 11 Food for ^8, and we are also interested in building a Stockpile of Alloys, and extra Food.

House Harrak sells 11 Food to House Sinister in exchange for ^8.

Deal!

Still interested in stockpiling Food and Alloys!

Spoiler: House Sinister (click to show/hide)

Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister

20[11+1]M* Koldon Prime 2 Armies (50% size, 50% homeworld)

Opening balance: ^41, 4 Food, 4 Alloys
  Upkeep: -^5 Fleet, -^2 Armies
  House Ravenwood: -^15, +7 Food, +10 Alloys
  House Nagant: -^30, +30 Alloys
  Koldon Prime: -11 Food, -44 Alloys, +^88, +^11
  House Harrak: -^8, +11 Food
  Pop Growth: -11 Food, +1 Pop growth at Koldon Prime
Closing Balance: ^80

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.

Spoiler: Fealty Contract (click to show/hide)

Pledge of Loyalty and Fealty to the Emperor, Lord Insanus Cancer, ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind

We the undersigned hereby pledge loyalty and fealty to the Emperor, Lord Insanus Cancer, ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind. 

We acknowledge that stewardship of the planets under our House is given only through the benevolent generosity of the Emperor, and that the Emperor holds eminent domain over all.  We pledge to serve the Emperor for all time, through life and death, sickness and health, and to never betray him, nor raise a banner in opposition, nor lift a finger against him.

The Emperor is the wisest and most powerful human in all of the universe.  It is a joy to wake every day knowing the Emperor guides us with wisdom and courage, and that he is much smarter and far more handsome than anyone else.  We pledge to follow his every order, for his grand plan is ineffable and to counter his designs is treason against the entire human race.  We pledge allegiance to the Emperor and will spend every waking moment thinking about how great he is.

We promise to never ever break this contract, ever.

Signed,
Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister.

[m1895]

Willing to sell 10 Food or 4 alloys.

You still willing to sell 10 food for ^8?

Spoiler: House Nagant (click to show/hide)

Lord Leon, of House Nagant

20[10]R* Exemplum. 2 Army.
2 alloy
 food
1 Fleet.
1 Favour.
1 Lawyer-Accountant-Vizier
^131

[NUKE9.13]

I assumed that all Food was sold out, but if there is still some floating around, I would like to buy 6 Food for ^5.

[evictedSaint]

Turn in 5 hours or so.  Get your actions in.

And, more importantly, submit a poem.

[Kashyyk]

House Sinister shall send 12^ to House Vix, in exchange House Vix will send 4 units of alloys and 10 units of food to House Sinister.
Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister
                               

[m1895]

At this point I'll just buy from market.

Spoiler: House Nagant (click to show/hide)

Lord Leon, of House Nagant

20[10+1]R* Exemplum. 2 Army.
2 alloy
10-10 food
1 Fleet.
1 Favour.
1 Lawyer-Accountant-Vizier
^131-10

[FiveBalesOfHay]

ACTACTACT

House Harrak submits a bid:

(For the right number of syllables, Emperor should be pronounced Emp'ror.)

Spoiler: "O Emperor My Emperor" (click to show/hide)

O Emperor! my Emperor! your word is my command,
Your face is o so beautiful, your skin perfectly tanned,
In body strong, an equal mind, thoughts so sharp and cunning,
With eagle eyes you oversee, your fleets of grim and daring;
                        But hark! hark! hark!
                           O the regal robe of red,
                              Where on the deck my Emperor stands,
                                 Crown upon his head.

O Emperor! my Emperor! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
Lowly Houses for which you care—planets for you a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
                        Here Emperor! dear father!
                           The traitors now are dead!
                              It is some dream that here you stand,
                                    Crown upon your head.

My Emperor, so powerful, all planets bend to his will,
His skill with juggling is unmatched, with a blade it’s greater still,
He wields a great and mighty staff, longest by far I’ve known,
Beloved Insanus surveys us, upon his golden throne;
                        Exult O Houses, and ring O bells!
                           And I with gleeful tread,
                              Walk the deck my Emperor stands,
                                 Crown upon his head.

[TheFantasticMsFox]

Agreed!

House Sinister shall send 12^ to House Vix, in exchange House Vix will send 4 units of alloys and 10 units of food to House Sinister.
Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister
Lady Vulpetia, of House Vix

[/quote]

ACTACTACT: Bid "Wings of Love"

Spend 25 Food on growing one pop on each planet.

Spoiler: House Vix (click to show/hide)

Lady Vulpetia, of House Vix

PLANETS
12[10+1]F* Jasper [1 Army]
8[2+1]R Impeller-V [1 Army]

RESOURCES
1 Fleet.
1 Favour.
0 Alloy [0 + 4(Production)- 4(Trade)]
0 Food [1 + 36(Production) - 25 (Grow Pops) - 2(Consumption)- 10(Trade)]
^45 [28 + 12(Tax) - 7(Military Upkeep) + 12(Trade)]

Spoiler: Wings of Love (click to show/hide)

Our lord guides us with countless fleets flying like the dove.
Standing on Earth and enshrined in our heart
Emperor Insanus Cancer, the Lord of all our love

The only path is Forgiveness Through Destruction to all who fail our Emperor above.
Past Treason Purged through Hellfire brings flame to all who forsake his art.
Our lord guides us with countless fleets flying like the dove.

The truth of Agony is a Traitors Reward brings forth greater adoration thereof.
Sight of the Crafting Tombworlds reminds all to keep to the Emperor's chart.
Emperor Insanus Cancer, the Lord of all our love.

His Five Golden Rings bind leal vassals to his glove.
The cry of Annihilation Without Remorse brings riches to him as a cart.
Our lord guides us with countless fleets flying like the dove.

Our Emperor's Investment in Deterrence protects us all in his love.
Reckless Effect in all his endeavors yeets them forward like a dart.
Emperor Insanus Cancer, the Lord of all our love.

Our Lord’s Overwhelming Odds of Success push back failure with a shove.
When Regrettable Choices Repaid come due we all rejoice in no small part.
Our lord guides us with countless fleets flying like the dove.

To Beg Forgiveness and Be Destroyed is the last thing to be thought of.
Insanus Cancer shall never depart.
Our lord guides us with countless fleets flying like the dove.
Emperor Insanus Cancer, the Lord of all our love.

[evictedSaint]

Turn 3: Poems for ME?
I am the Emperor.  My word is law.

TURNTURNTURN

The Emperor's Mood: Angry


The Emperor Insanus Cancer pours through the stacks of poems, heaped to the ceiling on priceless, archaic paper.  He looks over one, scanning it briefly, then tosses it to the side.  He wasn't necessarily displeased with it - it was just long and he had a lot to go through.

"They love me.  They really, truly love me," he whispers, eyes filling with tears.  He tosses another one away - again, longer than he really had the patience for - and one of the aides picks it up and begins dutifully reading it out loud.  There were two or three hundred aides in the room, each reading so that the Emperor might hear the words of adoration from his subjects. 

The cacophony is near deafening, and though he can't pick out any one in particular, Insanus lets the love wash over him.

"^{My Emperor, the last of the poems have been delivered,}" one of the servants shouts, struggling to make himself heard. 

"IS THIS NOT GLORIOUS?" Insanus shouts back, delight painted across his face.  "MY WORRIES - MY ANXIETY - ALL FOR NAUGHT! THEY LOVE ME! SOME REALLY LOVE ME, ACTUALLY, THERE WAS THIS ONE POEM FROM LORD LEON - "

"^{Yes, my Emperor,}" the servant shouts in reply.  His face twists, clearly not liking what he was about to say next.  "^{The only concern is that Lord Tyranious did not submit one -} "

"LORD TYRANIOUS?  NO, I HAVE HIS RIGHT HERE - " the Emperor sifted through the pile of discarded too-long poems and held it up.

"^{That is Lord Tyrannous, my Emperor.  Lord Tyranious of House Durin and Lady Helewisa of House Ravenwood declined to send a poem.}"

The change is instantaneous.  From tears of joy to apoplectic rage, the Emperor stands and shreds the closest sheet.

"TREASON!"  Spittle flies from his lips and the veins in his face stand out. The overlapping poems go silent in staggering waves.  "TREASON!  I WANT THEM EXECUTED!  PURGE THEIR PLANETS, BURN THEIR HOUSES.  TRAITORS!"

"PERHAPS - " the servant shouts, but immediately moderates his volume now that the room is silent.  "Perhaps, my Emperor, a more moderate approach would be warranted?"

"Fine."  As soon as the rage took him, it vanishes.  Suddenly exhausted, he picks up a sheet from the floor at random and thrusts it towards the man.  "This one was the best.  As good as any of the others, I suppose.  I'm...weary.  I'll be in my chambers."


House Harrak wins the bid!  They are now the proud owner of a brand-new 1[0]Farmworld. Their poem "O Emperor My Emperor" was the 'best' (though they were all absolutely delightful - a very hard choice to make).

The Emperor has declared a Trade Embargo against Lady Helewisa of House Ravenwood (Iris)!
The Emperor has declared a Trade Embargo against Lord Tyranious of House Durin (MonkeyMarkMario)!
Players may not trade with either of these players this turn.

New Planet Available!
8[0]M : Size 8 Machineworld.
Not available for auction.  The Emperor, in his infinite wisdom, has decreed that this planet is to be used as a dumping ground for particularly toxic and non-Euclidian waste.
A modestly-sized planet orbiting a yellow star, an extinction event at some point in the past killed off vast oceans of primitive algae. Life never took off again after that, but tremendous fields of oil are present beneath the surface.  This easily-accessed energy supply makes this planet ideal for manufacturing Alloys into useful goods.  The planet is a little close to the sun for comfortable habitation and the atmosphere is thin enough to require suits, but it's a decidedly habitable planet.  The planet is now a dumping ground for particularly toxic and non-Euclidian waste, and is now vehemently hostile to all human life.


Please keep ACTx3 in BOLD and at the TOP of your posts! It makes it much easier to spot your post!

Spoiler: The Emperor (click to show/hide)

Emperor Insanus Cancer, Ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind.

20[20]M* Earth 10 Armies
8[8]R Moon 5 Armies
10[10]R Mercury 5 Armies
8[8]F Venus 5 Armies
20[20]F Mars 5 Armies
2[2]F Ceres 5 Armies
5[5]R Europa 5 Armies
20[20]R Asteroid Belt 5 Armies
10[10]M Pluto 5 Armies

^605
30Food
35Alloy

12 Fleets
1st Fleet "Treason Purged through Hellfire"
2nd Fleet "Forgiveness Through Destruction"
3rd Fleet "Agony is a Traitors Reward"
4th Fleet "Crafting Tombworlds"
5th Fleet "Five Golden Rings"
6th Fleet "Annihilation Without Remorse"
7th Fleet "Investment in Deterrence"
8th Fleet "Reckless Effect"
9th Fleet "Overwhelming Odds"
10th Fleet "Regrettable Choices Repaid"
11th Fleet "Beg Forgiveness and Be Destroyed"
12th Fleet "Insanus Cancer"

[FiveBalesOfHay]

Status:

Spoiler: House Harrak (click to show/hide)

Lord Erwin, of House Harrak

20[12]F Everra 2 Armies.
1[0]F Verglas
2[1]R Dune

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.
47 Food.
9 Alloys.
^15.

[Criptfeind]

As always, looking to buy alloys, generally as many as I can get my mitts on, and food as well.

Probably thinking like ^1=1 alloy and ^.7=1 food for a start? Anyone interested?

[Nirur Torir]

The House of Sands wishes to buy 32 food for 24^.

The The Forge shall send 35^ to the House of Sands, in exchange the House of Sands will send 35 units of alloys to The Forge.
Nirur, of the House of Sands
___________

[Criptfeind]

The The Forge shall send 35^ to the House of Sands, in exchange the House of Sands will send 35 units of alloys to The Forge.
Nirur, of the House of Sands
Criptfeind, First Mechanator of the Forge