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Author Topic: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.  (Read 877 times)

Torak

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Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« on: March 10, 2008, 08:52:00 am »
[GRASSTRAMPLE:0]
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As you journey to the center of the world, feel free to read the death announcements of those dwarves that suffer your neglect.

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the cosmos. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips, I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my veins. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk and free throw.

Akroma

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2008, 09:05:00 am »
as if I needed yet another reason to hate them. out of sheer spite I will give my dwarves [GRASSTRAMPLE:100], and make every living thing they touch with they -kitten leath high boots- die and rot away
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Hyperturtle

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2008, 02:01:00 pm »
but the elves are so graceful and agile and light on their feet, they rarely leave footprints.  While the clodhopping dwarves stumble around drunkenly.

You all think elves are sissies, but the reality is the are totally wigged out on hallucinogenic drugs.

Think about this.  The trees are alive!  Any animal product wreathes and screams at them as if they were still living!  And metal objects?  Oooh, kaledeoscopically shiny!! way cool!  TRADE!

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igless

Romantic Warrior

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2008, 09:38:00 pm »
quote:
Originally posted by Hyperturtle:
<STRONG>
You all think elves are sissies, but the reality is the are totally wigged out on hallucinogenic drugs.</STRONG>

Hippies, sissies, same difference, right?

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Dwarf Fortress and the Abstract Truth.

Black Line

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2008, 11:32:00 pm »
[quote"hyperturtle"]but the elves are so graceful and agile and light on their feet, they rarely leave footprints. While the clodhopping dwarves stumble around drunkenly.

You all think elves are sissies, but the reality is the are totally wigged out on hallucinogenic drugs.

Think about this. The trees are alive! Any animal product wreathes and screams at them as if they were still living! And metal objects? Oooh, kaledeoscopically shiny!! way cool! TRADE![/quote]

Lol looks like thats why they live in forests to find magic mushrooms and setup secret lsd labs. They probably grow tons of weed to make hemp rope and cloth sell it as rope reed cloth and rope. I am also accusing Giant Cave Spiders of abusing pcp and steroids probably coke too. We need someone to mod drugs into the game. If your dwarfs start making drugs (in secretly mined rooms that can only be found by the Captain of The Guard via the search skill) they will become addicted and may be arrested for using illegal substances until they are sober. Unless you build a rehab center your dwarfs will stay addicted to their substance of choice. Dwarfs on drugs can randomly attack others commit suicide or be useless for awhile. Some could become hospitalized and stuff. /endofthoughts

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Slappy Moose

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2008, 12:27:00 am »
quote:
Originally posted by Hyperturtle:
<STRONG>You all think elves are sissies, but the reality is the are totally wigged out on hallucinogenic drugs.</STRONG>

So their are a bunch of fucking hippies?

I HATE THEM MORE NOW!

Krunk not pleased! Krunk smash!

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McDoomhammer

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2008, 05:34:00 am »
Nasty elves, we hates them precious?
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Hyperturtle

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2008, 09:54:00 am »
"precious" was really lined with nicotine patches.  That's why no one could easily quit carrying it.
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Kagus

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2008, 10:01:00 am »
Actually, it had a far more mundane attraction.  You see, it vibrates.
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nunix

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #9 on: March 11, 2008, 12:45:00 pm »
Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.

Remember kids: elves are bad. Keep some iron handy and do your part!

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Asehujiko

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2008, 03:42:00 am »
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Tremble, mortal, and despair! Doom has come to this world!
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Quift

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Re: Elves: Too weak to crush grass.
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2008, 03:58:00 am »
quote:
Originally posted by nunix:
<STRONG>Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.

Remember kids: elves are bad. Keep some iron handy and do your part!</STRONG>

Nice reference... actually one of my favorite portrayals of elves. their culture, abilities personality et such.

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