Cycle 6: Tools of the Trade
In the sixth cycle Weighturge, Mindurge, Cleanurge, Forumgameurge, Machineurge, Wealthurge, Planturge, Combattechurge and Breakfasturge are active.
Wishing to imitate the success of Experiment 0014, Combattechurge handicrafts a weapons manufactury out of clay, golden debris, aluminium foil and resin. Possibly laughing maniacally they throw the ominous main switch, beginning the production of Weapon 14!
An angry red error message prints out of a nearby spooler. "Error: No suitable weapons-grade material found within material's hopper. Please insert weapon-grade material into hopper and restart Weapon 14 Factory(tm)."
The Benign Zombie Horde is "volunteered" for promotion into the cadres of the Unmaid! These infectiously cleaning cleaners wander the Wall of Akasha, scrubbing ages of old, encrusted gore off confused Magical Flora, who become enamored with cleaning! Unmaids clamber onto the Secretary birds, grooming out old parasites and golden shrapnel stuck in wounds and pieces of entropic animal viscera. The Secretary birds clean in the only way they know, growing ever more ravenous, endangering the Magical Flora and More Animal populations even further...
Unmaids are stacking pieces of debris into tall rickety towers to both clean up the Wall of Akasha, and reach the More Animals and birds so they can clean them. This is somewhat complicated by magical flora pushing debris into the Walls of Akasha to clean up that way.
Many forgotten Nots are then rapidly repurposed into doctor-drones, the Medical Aid Including Dusting, MAIDs! The MAIDs immediately begin tending to the Giant Tree's grievous wounds, spraying medicine, sewing great golden sutures, and implanting mechanical branches at places.
For its part, the Giant Tree devours several MAIDs before the Forumgameurge, exasperated by it's constant anti-social behaviour, decides to teach the Giant Tree a lesson it won't soon forget!
Scraped off pieces of urgic spine dig into the Giant Tree. Squirming and mutating, these terrible parasites spread out and all over its trunk, digging in roots into every part of the Giant Tree, transforming it into a Responsible and Reasonable Giant Tree!
Tree-Yad moans uneasily, its spikes quivering and shaking.
The MAIDs, no longer being attacked, finish treating the Giant Tree.
Tree-Yad seems to be enjoying playing Rats & Races with some Muse-Sirens, though it's difficult to read a ball of spines.
The Giant Tree grows larger
The Wall of Akasha becomes more unstableMachineurge moulds and cuts and sews some rare entropic leather into the misleadingly named Holster 0016. On its business end is a gaping empty hollow, that inaudibly cries to be filled with a suitable weapon. After extensive searching, Machineurge manages to pin down the elusive Experiment 0014 and with much struggling and buckling, harness them into Holster 0016, a hilt, like an unruly stallion being broken in.
Then Holster 0016 is implanted into Machineurge's wielding arm, hopefully keeping them safe from repeated accidental self-maiming.
There is an ominous *THUNK* as Wealthurge turns off the Greed-Gravitational Stabilizer. Whiterattus recover from their stupors, as their greed for knowledge is no longer constantly being drained from them. The Golden Continents seem to hang in place for a single, peaceful moment, then begin to plummet to the Wall of Akasha!
Everything seems to judder for a moment during the thunderous instant impact between the continents and the wall, aftershocks continueing for a quite a while yet. Fortunately, nothing important appears to have been damaged.
Several fake Addendumzones are gathered together and repurposed into a massive whiterattus reproduction center, filled with cutting edge urgic technology like cloning vats and nutrients solutions and vivisection tables and plastic anatomical rat models. Here the the Whiterattus work on finding a cure for Stonerot, or at least making a new generation of Whiterattus who are immune to it. Sadly, progress is slow as promising researchers keep succumbing to Stonerot.
Whiterattus now eagerly apply to learn new knowledge at the now properly greedy AUPL but usually succumb to Stonerot before they pay off even a fraction of their digital debts.
Whiterattus have begun constructing specialized greed-powered hover-cars, running off imprisoned pit-monsters, to move the endless supply of statues further and further away from the center of a budding Whiterattus city.
The Laser Cleaners did not find any golder pastures. Resigned to their lot, they return to the Golden Continents, their numbers swelling, and begin incinerating mountains of paper and glue in massive pyres whose rising smoke columns are visible from severals degrees away on the Wall.
The Laser Cleaner factory hovers ominously over the Golden Continents, having had several flying cars integrated into it, as it slowly consumed land beneath it to make more Laser Cleaners.
The Laser Cleaner population has recovered!The Goldenrattus Liberation Front has settled around a mid-sized Wall-Hole, far away from the Golden Continents, which they call New Concrete. They appear to have reached some sort of deal with several Mind-Clams, offering up some of their own numbers to these mental demidemiurges, and hunting for birds and more animals and maids to feed to their new idols, who in turn let them live in ecstatic dream worlds of endless wealth, letting them escape for a time the terrible grey dullness of existence on the Wall.
Richrat XXXII has managed to unify the Diamond Yachts back into a single fleet, though not without a steep cost in blood and, more importantly, lost wealth of irrecoverably lost diamond yachts.
Falling back into old traditions, Richrat XXXII raids deep into the branches of the now docile Giant Tree, capturing many Muse-Sirens and holding them as trophies of great value, greatly increasing the networth of Richrat XXXII.
Their odd magics bring much amusement to various superwealthy goldenrattus, but the goldenrattus begin to become more wary of their new wealth-property after several manage to turn the crews of the yachts they were aboard into attacking the rest of the fleet. Containment protocols have become much more strict, and the guards of the maid-sirens are usually rendered deaf so they cannot be tempted by the birds' strange voice.
Perhaps in revenge for these depredations, Forumgameurge teaches the Whiterattus to gamble, no longer freely sharing knowledge with each other, but wagering it, and their university debts, in games of chance. Soon the rate at which Whiterattus learn knew knowledge slows down significantly as they fall into a gambling addiction, allowing their population to begin to recover as Stonerot claims them slower.
Forumgameurge condenses the hazy future into game pieces, so that Muse-Sirens can play a small part of the Great Game, gambling their futures with each other. Muse-Sirens happily play against each other for several months, before suddenly they don't, as irritated Minute-Maids show up minutes after they first receive the pieces, and confiscate the game-pieces, complaining of terrible glassaches.
The Motion-Maids fold the Useless Artifact into the same location as
nothing, since it's just taking up space.
nothing grows. The Motion Maids begin folding Wall-Stars into
nothing.
A parasitic worm, finally too disgusted by the flavour of its host, rips itself free of the Wealthurge. Adapting to the outside world, it becomes a massive purple acquisitive machivevore moray eel. It begins to close in on the Fractabombers, salivating at the the space-echoes of their delicious machinery, before the Combattechurge suddenly pops up, holding out a platter filled with various remnants of destroyed and forgotten machinery. Choice selections of refinery, vintage facility parts, factory scraps, the focusing lense of a defense station, and various other bits and bobs. The Moray Eel, named Amethyst, feasts gluttonously on these offerings until, stuffed to the gills, they fall into a digestive sleep, appeased. They fell asleep before Combattechurge could manage to convince them to sign that mercenary contract they'd also been holding though.
All sorts of vines and creepers begin to cover the bare, barren branches, limbs and trunk of the Giant Tree with a layer of green and colour, from flowers and fruits and other interesting things. The Muse-Sirens play happily with these new additions to their playground, swinging on vines and braiding them into pretty shapes and throwing fruit at each other and so on.
Lizards scuttle from shadowy hollows beneath the vines, as if they have always been there, soon infesting the entire Giant Tree, and even spreading somewhat into the Wall beyond.
The Birds, who had been slowly starving to death as their food sources dwindle, gorges themselves on this double bounty with the ferocity of generations of hunger. Happily hunting Lizards and snapping up and slurping down vines with glee. Soon their population, which has been slowly dwindling, suddenly begins to rapidly recover! It won't be long before they can escape the curse of half, assuming the Muse-Sirens don't steal too many of their eggs.
Breakfasturge finally manages to finally break free from their apathetic stupour, motivated by the promise of a hearty breakfast. Pulling their emergency skillet free from their ribcage, they begin frying pancakes in it over a convenient wall-star. Breakfasturge even tries flipping the pancakes the fancy way, but not being the best chef, many half-raw pancakes end up everywhere, making a giant mess. Brood-maids, mop-maids, time-maids, motion-maids, Unmaids, magical flora and birds immediately begin to move closer and soon the spilt pancakes no longer exist, only the perfectly fried ones remaining, forming a mountain on the Wall of Akasha.
Soon curious more-animals begin to gorge themselves on the delicious pancakes, whose smells spreads far and wide.
Unmaids take advantage of this golden opportunity to begin infecting more-animals with a cleaning urge.
Even the Tangle-God seems to be getting attracted, along with nearby birds of all types. Breakfasturge uses this opportunity to begin inappropriately petting various secretary birds, 'encouraging' them to lay some truly magnificent eggs! Nervous and confused, they eventually do so, laying several magnificent white eggs, each the size of an Akashic Brood.
The Mindurge alters the functioning of reality around the edge of
nothing, causing
nothing transmute into random
something. The transmutation of
nothing slightly outpaces the growth of
nothing, and soon a cloud of random junk, scissors and cats and rocks and trees and dust and oranges and perfume and towels and musicboxes, begins to surround
nothing, leaving it thankfully obscured from sight. Curiously, the junk is all pretty useless, and if living, tends to die quickly in the harsh environment they appear in.
Finding some large panes of glass amidst the ever growing junk cloud, Mindurge hammers together an okay-looking aquarium which is places on Æðelstān II's back. Æðelstān II is still (mentally) screaming. Several nice, colourful fish pop into existence by pure chance, and swim around happily in their aquarium, sometimes swimming into empty space to play with the giant light Shark.
The Weighturge rips off the tumorous golden roads they previously grow on the Golden Continents, weaving them into a giant, impractical spear.
The Weighturge, feeling ambitious, utters a prophecy:
"The
Adversary will fail, doomed to be pierced and drowned under golden rhodes"
Fortunately golden rhodes do not seem to exist (yet?)
Scandal! Mer-Maids seem to be littering and polluting the waters!
Midcycle Summary
>>>Minute-Maids
>>>Pieces of the Great Game[Confiscated]
>>>>Prophecy of
Adversial Doom
Monism Mandate
>
nothing [Shrinking] 🛡 'Protected'
>>>Junk-Shell
>>>>much ado
>>>>Brood-Maids [Halved]
>>>>Mind-Clams
>>>>Useless artifact>>>>Motion-Maids
>>>>The Not [halved]
>>>>MAIDs
>>>Weapon 14 Factory [Stalled]
>>>New Concrete [Lotus-Eating]
>>>Tangle-God [Pancaking]
>>>Amethyst [Napping]
> The Torch of Esta
>>>Shark
>>>>Æðelstān II
>>>>aquarium
>>>Twin Golden Continents
>>>Heavy Tangle of Golden Sky-Roads>>>
Nothing [Damaged]
>>>>Magical Flora
>>>>Bleach Boulders
>>>>DOOMpit
>>>>Pit Monsters
>>>>Addendumzone 0013
>>>>Whiterattus[Petrifying][Gamblers]
>>>>Fake Addendumzones
>>>>Masses of paper and glue>>>>Greed-Gravitational Stabilizer [De-activated]
>>>>Autonomous University of Predatory Loans 🛡 [Protected]
>>>>Cloning Vat Facility
>>>>Laser Cleaner Army
>>>>Laser Cleaner Factory [Ominously Floating]
>>>>Dissimilarity Ray 0012
>>>>Diamond Yacht Fleet[Thirded][Raiding][Damaged]
>>>>Fractabomber mk1s Swarm [Indiscriminate][Tracking]
>>Giant Tree [Reasonable][Wall-Bane][Cyborg] 🛡 'Protected'
>>>Vines
>>>>Nests
>>>>Birds
>>>>Muse-Sirens 🛡 [Protected]
>>>>Magic Books
>>>>Tree-Yad
>>>>Lizards
>>>>Responsible and Reasonable Lychen
>>>Mostly Clean Streams and Lakes [Halved]
>>>>Mer-Maids [Halved][Strange]
>>>>Mop-Maids [Halved]
>>>>Slime-Fish [Halved]
>>>>Birds [Halved]
>>>>Surface-to-Wall Watergun
>>The Wall of Akasha [Swiss Cheese][Unstable]
>>>>More-Animals [Ravenous][Quartered][Declining]
>>>>Magical Flora [Quartered][Hardy Survivors]
>>>>The Unmaid
>>>>Birds [Halved]
>>>>Wall-Moat
>>>>Filth-Fish [Endangered][Halved][Time-Stopped]
>>>>Farland 0015
>>>Summer Seasoned Skillet 🛡 [Protected]
>>>Mountain of perfectly cooked Pancakes [Being rapidly devoured]
>>>>Many majestic Secretary Eggs
>>>>Machineurge 🛡 [Protected]=Holster 0016=[Experiment 0014=>
>>>>Weight urge=celestial spearage=> 🛡 [Protected]
Demiurges will now Destroy.
The Adversary will now Destroy, Corrupt and Doom. The Adversary will Destroy five times and Corrupt five times and Doom once
The Weighturge seeks out the Adversary, but cannot find them.
The Machineurge begins smashing away at nothing with Experiment 0014! The Golden Continents appear to be more less!
Nothing flickers.
A slow snail slowly creeps towards the aquarium taking their time not being in any particular rush to get there, having all the time in the world in which to reach their destination-
The Brood-Maids, seeing their spiritual pillar polluted by a seemingly undefeatable corona of trash, give in to despair, destroying themselves in showers of sonic destruction, the last Brood-Maid throwing herself into a wall-star, vaporised.
More-Animals are hunted to extinction! The Wall ecology begins to collapse...
Magical Flora are hunted to extinction! Before their deaths, they attempt to infect the
Adversary, but nothing seems to happen... Wall-Birds starve to extinction!
Mop-Maids begin catching on fire spontaneously, burning up into a black dirty ash residue fouling up many lakes and rivers. Mermaids happily play in the black waters, turning their scales dark...
There is a sudden *chunk*, and the remaining Not all begin to rapidly become truly not, slowly fading away, stoic during their own undoing.
A kind 4,215 faced truth rock has provided Weapon 14 Factory with some material! The factory begins producing Weapon 14s...
A helpful unknowing ascetic teaches the Cloning whiterattus how to make new clones that are already stone, making them immune to Stonerot. There is much celebratory dicing and clanking of golden cards.
Weighturge finally manages to catch up with the
Adversary! Who, as a bored teenage part-timer, seems to be installing a Urgic Weight Tracker in the Fractabombers! As soon as Weighturge shows up, the Fractabombers begin buzzing angrily, and ramming bodily into Weighturge, allowing the slippery
Adversary to get away!
A helpful uniform empty void improves the Responsible and Reasonable Lychen, so that it begins to take root in all nearby life, helping them to become responsible and reasonable.
-and it seems that possibly at last the snail who, it must be said, is indeed quite slow all things being taken into account and comparing the snail to other things which, are indeed, not as slow as it, has at long last, as has been much anticipated, reached the aquarium that as we of course all know was created by the Mindurge this very cycle and houses some very interesting fish indeed, who can not only swim, but also swim, but through space.
The interesting fish who can swim and also swim through space, suddenly become a perfectly uniform hivemind, and now seem also capable of swimming through the shark, and possibly other things, turning him into more interesting fish who are part of a perfectly uniform hivemind.
DOOM! falls on the house of the Summer Seasoned Skillet! Imperfections in its form means it will now take a very long time to cook food into perfect breakfast status. If things are rushed, they are likely to end up horribly burnt or inedible, or possibly worse, a non-breakfast food altogether!
Endcycle Summary
>>>Minute-Maids
>>>Pieces of the Great Game[Confiscated]
>>>>Prophecy of
Adversial Doom
Monism Mandate
>nothing [Shrinking]
>>>Junk-Shell
>>>>much ado
>>>>Brood-Maids [Halved]>>>>Mind-Clams
>>>>Motion-Maids
>>>>The Not [halved]>>>>MAIDs
>>>Weapon 14 Factory [Producing]
>>>>Weapons 14
>>>New Concrete [Lotus-Eating]
>>>Tangle-God [Pancaking]
>>>Amethyst [Napping]
> The Torch of Esta
>>>Shark [Becoming Fish]
>>>>Æðelstān II
>>>>aquarium [Perfectly Uniform Hivemind]
>>>Twin Golden Continents
>>>Nothing [Damaged]>>>>Magical Flora
>>>>Bleach Boulders
>>>>DOOMpit
>>>>Pit Monsters
>>>>Addendumzone 0013
>>>>Whiterattus[Petrifying][Gamblers]
>>>>Fake Addendumzones
>>>>Greed-Gravitational Stabilizer [De-activated]
>>>>Autonomous University of Predatory Loans
>>>>Cloning Vat Facility [Stoned]
>>>>Laser Cleaner Army
>>>>Laser Cleaner Factory [Ominously Floating]
>>>>Dissimilarity Ray 0012
>>>>Diamond Yacht Fleet[Thirded][Raiding][Damaged]
>>>>Fractabomber mk1s Swarm [Indiscriminate][Locked On]
>>Giant Tree [Reasonable][Wall-Bane][Cyborg]
>>>Vines
>>>>Nests
>>>>Birds
>>>>Muse-Sirens
>>>>Magic Books
>>>>Tree-Yad
>>>>Lizards
>>>>Responsible and Reasonable Lychen [Reasonablefying]
>>>Somewhat dirty Streams and Lakes [Halved]
>>>>Mer-Maids [Halved][Strange]
>>>>Mop-Maids [Halved]>>>>Slime-Fish [Halved]
>>>>Birds [Halved]
>>>>Surface-to-Wall Watergun
>>The Wall of Akasha [Swiss Cheese][Unstable]
>>>>More-Animals [Ravenous][Quartered][Declining]
>>>>Magical Flora [Quartered][Hardy Survivors]>>>>The Unmaid
>>>>Birds [Halved]>>>>Wall-Moat
>>>>Filth-Fish [Endangered][Halved][Time-Stopped]
>>>>Farland 0015
>>>Summer Seasoned Skillet [Slow]
>>>Mountain of perfectly cooked Pancakes [Being rapidly devoured]
>>>>Many majestic Secretary Eggs
>>>>Machineurge=Holster 0016=[Experiment 0014=>
>>>>Weighturge=celestial spearage=>
((I probably won't errorcheck later))
The Watergun has been untimestopped at some point in time!