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Author Topic: Bandhalls - Now Featuring "Pour One Out for Poor Thirsty Feb Tiredtrade"  (Read 2311 times)

DrWenn

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Apparently I was posting this stuff to the wrong subforum. Here are some stories from my first fortress: Emäthîton, Bandhalls. If you only have time to read one, I recommend the second one about the mule. It's funny.

But here's the first thing I wrote. This is set about two years into the fortress.


Welcome to Emäthîon! You're not the first human we've had here, so if you can't pronounce that, you can just call it Bandhalls. We're tucked neatly away between the Teeth of Severity and the Comedic Forest. (They sound more impressive in Dwarfish.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The land is good to us here. There are plenty of trees, there's a nice little stream going by the fort, and of course, the mining is good! Just about every metal or gem you could think of is just a few levels below. Things are pretty quiet. Every now and then, a kea might cause a little ruckus up top, or a giant olm might stumble in from below, but our humble militia has no trouble putting them down. I keep telling trying to convince everyone to put a hatch over the well-access stairs to keep out the cave dwellers, but there's always some excuse. "We don't have enough hatches!" "Someone left their soap on the stairs!" But we'll get around to it eventually.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course, last year's goblin raid was a little tougher than we expected, so we're beefing up the military this year, adding a crossbow squad and a hammer squad. I noticed that they're mostly staffed by the dwarves who complain about not having enough "excitement" in their lives. They even tried to turn The Giant Poker into a marksdwarf!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hm? Oh yeah. "Giant Poker"'s just what we call Likot. He's the bald dwarf with the long mustache and sideburns. Used to be a hunter, always getting in over his head with the giant olms, giant cave swallows, and elk birds. But he's doing alright in the crossbow squad, The Tragedy of Shooting. (Again, it sounds better in Dwarfish.) Better than Chunks did when he first joined The Silvery Fists.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why  "Chunks"? Because, well the first time he got into battle, all he did was, well... Let's just say we all know that he'd been eating Ustuth's elk bird heart biscuits and lettuce leaf stew for lunch.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If you ask me, they should draft little Lokum as soon as he's old enough. Did you know that they accidentally locked him in the caverns when he was only 3 years old? He spent half a year down there, apparently wrestling cave croccodiles with his bare hands. Some of the other kids call him "Cave Boy", but not to his face.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Mayor Zasit Mamotheskal, not to be confused with Zasit Dodókstettad, the Sacred Ray of the The Bejewelled Doctrine, or the woodburner Zasit Gebmörul, or the presser Zasit Rithdural... where was I? Right, Mayor Zasit. He does a pretty good job of running things. Better than the "Baron" would have done anyway. Good thing that's just a symbolic position. Don't get me started on Baron Besmar.

I mean, I know he's a count now, but he'll always be "Baron Besmar" to me. He's a good weaponsmith, for sure. Dude went into a trance and bulit this war hammer out of *giant* *olm* *bones*. Covered in copper and jet and leather and pictures of dwarves and well, you can go see it in the library, the Confining Vault. (Sounds better in— you get the idea.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So he makes this hammer Tudruglar and so they make him Baron. First thing he does is issue a bunch of export bans and immediately accuses everyone in a position of authority of violating them: the chief medical dwarf, the dungeon master, and even the bunsoth captain of the guard. They all get convicted, but given that Captain Såkzul hands out the punishments, they just get a slap on the wrist.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But get this. As soon as Captain Såkzul is done "punishing" the export prohibition violators, someone steals one of the fort's artifacts, the Speakers of Slapping (better, Dwarfish, yadda-yadda-yadda), and after collecting a bunch of tips, it turns out that it was stolen by bunsoth Baron Besmar. Dwarf confessed that some elf spy threatened him if he didn't steal the thing for her, so he did! And they still let him be the Baron!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyway, make yourself at home. I assume you're here for the tavern. It's two stairs down and up the hall. Look for the sign that says "The Accidental Trumpet".

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What? Oh, nah. That one sounds dumb in Dwarfish too.

« Last Edit: January 29, 2023, 10:51:50 pm by DrWenn »
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DrWenn

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Bandhalls: "The Ascetic Mule"
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2023, 10:31:11 am »

"Slow down, Domas. I didn't even know we had any mules!"

"Just the one, Mayor Zasit. Whoever set up the horse and donkey pastures had them a little too close together, and well, you know."

"But it's dead now?"

"Yes."

"And it starved to death?"

"Yes."

"Even though it was being kept in the donkey pasture, which has plenty of grass."

"Yes. Well, sort of."

"What do you mean, 'sort of'?"

"You know that little stone column up top in the donkey pasture?"

"Yes, I see it every time I have to go outside. I'd always wondered what it was doing there. It's not very tall or impressive."

"Oh, that I can explain. When we pulled out the tree stumps for the pasture, it exposed a hole down into the fortress. And the dwarf who was charged with filling the hole got a little carried away and just kept piling stone up until they had a column. And no one could bear to tell him that he was just supposed to pave over the hole, so, yeah, now we have a column by the front hatch."

"And what the zagith does this have to do with our starving mule?"

"Well, that's where we found it."

"By the column?"

"No, *on* the column."

"I'm sorry, I must've misheard you. I thought you said the mule was on top of the column."

"That's correct, Mayor. We found the mule's body on top of the column."

"And it had just been sitting up there like some kind of guru?"

"Apparently."

"And then it starved to death."

"Yes. There wasn't any grass up there."

"I see. And nobody noticed it was up there until after it had died."

"Yes."

"That seems implausible."

"Mayor Zasit, do you go outside a lot?"

"Only when I have to."

"And why don't you like going outside?"

"I'm dwarf enough to admit that I'm not fond of the sun. Or the sky in general. It's just too big."

"When you go outside, how often do you look up?"

"Point taken, Domas. Now tell me, how did the bunsoth thing get up there?"

"Ah, yes. Well. Do you remember when the donkeys were getting those mysterious minor wounds?"

"It may surprise you to learn that I don't pay as much attention to the donkeys as much as you do."

"Sorry, sir."

"Don't worry about it, Domas. Tell me about the mysterious donkey wounds."

"Right. Well we noticed that some of the donkeys had been getting bruises and twisted ankles and we didn't know why for a long time. One of the guests reported having to dodge a donkey that was sliding across the grass as if it had been kicked by a very large animal."

"The war rhino is being kept elsewhere, right?"

"Yes, it wasn't the rhino. And we're pretty sure it wasn't an elk bird or any other wild animal."

"Didn't I hear reports of the donkeys fighting each other?"

"No, mayor. That was the llamas. And the alpacas. We're keeping them separate right now."

"So what was knocking over the donkeys?"

"It took a while to figure that one out, and I'm still not 100% sure what happened, but I have a theory."

"Go on..."

"One of the woodcutters was coming up the stairs to go chop down a tree, and as she came out the hatch, one of the donkeys bumped into her right at the top of the stairs and she fell all the way back down into the lever room."

"Was she okay?"

"Just stunned. But it got me thinking. The donkey pasture is very close to the front hatch. And if people are bumping into donkeys right in front of the hatch, then what would happen if one of the donkeys was standing on *top* of the hatch?"

"We wouldn't be able to open it?"

"Some of our dwarves are very strong, sir. And they're usually pretty grumpy when they have to open that hatch, so I imagine they open the thing pretty fast."

"I think I can see where you're going with this..."

"Yes, well, we moved the donkeys a bit further away from the hatch about a month ago, and we haven't had any reports of injured or flying donkeys since then."

"Good thinking! But what does this have to do with our dead mule?"

"*sigh* Well, ah... You see, the mule was also in the donkey pasture..."

"Yes... oh. Oh! Ngathsesh. You don't think..."

"That's my theory, Mayor. It explains all the evidence. *sigh*(excepttheelkblood)*cough*"

"Well, I guess it makes as much–wait, what‽"




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martinuzz

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Welcome to the right place to be ;)
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

DrWenn

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Ushat the Poet and the Unbridled Forgotten Beast
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2023, 11:08:46 am »

Content Warning: Graphic depictions of violence and poetry.



Captain Edzul Tangathdodók caught himself unconsciously lifting a gauntleted hand towards his mouth and forced it back down by his side. He'd been a soldier for almost a year now, and yet some part of his brain kept expecting to be able to chew on his nails through his steel gauntlets. He picked his shield up off the cavern floor, brushed a little fungus off of it, and then turned to face his squad.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He cleared his throat and tried to find the right words. He knew he wasn't great with words, but he had to say something to prepare the squad. "This will be the first real test of The Daggers of Slipping. Our squad has helped clean up troglodytes and giant cave rats, but today we're up against something much worse."

The members of his squad were still quietly muttering to each other and only half listening to him. He had to get their attention. "It's a Forgotten Beast."

That shut them up.

"According to reports, it is attacking serpent-people that, or at least it was. That sounds like good news, but once it's done with them, well, you know." He had their undivided attention. "It's supposed to look like a big buffalo. But with, uh. With feathers."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

At least one dwarf snorted at that. Or maybe that was the war rhino.

"Good news is, it doesn't seem to have wings, so we don't have to worry about it flying over our wildlife defense fenc- uh, defense walls. If it comes in, it'll probably be by breaking down one of the gates or climbing over our walls."

This didn't seem to comfort anyone.

"But I am confident that we will pull through. I am proud to serve with all of you. We've only been together for a year, but even in that short time, you've made me proud. Very proud."

Atîs, a dark-skinned swordsdwarf jabbed her elbow into the thigh of the soldier standing next to her, with a surprisingly loud "CLANK!" The human woman glanced down at her squadmate, and Atîs "whispered" loudly enough for everyone to hear. "I think he might be proud of us."

Everyone except the Captain chuckled. It wasn't much of a joke, but Atîs seemed to have a knack for making jokes at the most inappropriate times. Edzul could have reprimanded her, but he figured this was a good time to break the tension, before the big fight would come. He knew how to deal with Atîs.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Recruit Atîs!", Edzul boomed. The swordsdwarf saluted sharply. Maybe too sharply. Was she making fun of him? He continued with only a brief pause. "Where is Recruit Ushat?"

Atîs tried to smile, but he could tell that she was nervous. "Sir, I'm not sure. Maybe in the tavern reciting one of his boring poems?"

The captain smiled in spite of himself. He actually liked Ushat's poetry. "Aren't you his apprentice?"

"Sir, yes sir. I hope to learn a lot from him about poetic forms, but if I have to hear another morality tale about the great god Limul, I might start spewing ngathsesh."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edzul sighed. "I meant don't you know where your master is?"

At this, Atîs looked genuinely worried. "I honestly have no idea where he ended up."

The human swordsdwarf (or would that be "swordshuman"?) raised her hand. It was a peculiarly human gesture, but Edzul had gotten used to it. "Yes, Luthi?"

Luthi spoke softly, but her voice somehow managed to fill the cavern. "I saw him in the barracks, putting on his armor with the rest of us. But I didn't see where he ended up."

Edzul always felt a bit uneasy treating Luthi as a subordinate. Not only did she tower over him, but she was a priestess. How the "Holy Price" of the Creed of Trades ended up on his squad is a question he had been unable to find an answer for.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Thank y—" An ear-splitting shriek tore through the cavern, seeming to come from everywhere at the same time.

The squad erupted in panic. No one seemed to know what to do. Captain Edzul pulled his sword out of its scabbard and bellowed "CIRCLE UP! Back to back! Swords and shields at the ready! Eyes open! First one to spot the menace gets a mug of that fancy new mead!"

To their credit, the swordsdwarves (and two swordshumans) snapped into action as soon as they knew what to do. He continued his bellowing, basically just repeating the lessons in observation he'd learned only a month ago. "Watch the doors! Watch the crevices! Watch the shadows! Look left, right, down, and—"

"Up there!" Avuz shouted, as if on queue.

Edzul turned and looked up. He saw nothing but the sheer back wall of the cavern. So he looked up further. And further. At about a height of a dozen dwarves, at the top of what he now realized was a cliff, he saw... Well it wasn't a Forgotten Beast. Was that—?

"It's Ushat!" Atîs shouted.

And she was right. That long, bright orange hair was unmistakable.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How the hell did he get up there? And what was he doing? The poet had his sword and shield out and looked like he was fighting someth—

That terrible screech echoed off the walls again and Ushat dove out of sight just as an enormous mass of muddy brown feathers came into sight over the cliff edge. Edzul looked around frantically for a way up the sheer cliff face. Where were those damn crossbowdwarves‽

The Captain heard Ushat shouting in pain and a shower of pebbles fell to the ground. He looked up to see Ushat getting to his feet right at the cliff's edge. The feathered monstrosity slowly came into view, towering over the trembling poet. Almost all of the swordsdwarves were shouting at him, but even standing right next to them, Edzul couldn't make out a word.

The Beast's feathers undulated rhythmically, and then it suddenly lunged forwards. The dwarf barely avoided getting impaled on the things massive horns. Edzul flinched as he watched. They didn't have enough training for this yet. Ushat's shield was too high, and he was jabbing his sword wildly in the terrible creature's general direction. The giant buffalo-thing seemingly just shifted its feet and Ushat screamed in pain. A rock came sailing off the edge in an arc, landing at the base of the cliff.

No, not a rock. A boot. A boot with a foot still in it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edzul was certain that the rest of Ushat was going to follow soon after. What were they doing here? They were poets and priestesses, brewers and administrators. Maybe someday they would be soldiers, but right now? Even if he could find a way up there, he wasn't sure he'd know what to do.

He heard but did not see the sound of horn against steel. Ushat shouted from out of sight and the monster dodged sideways, sending a hail of small rocks tumbling down towards the now silent dwarves. Suddenly Ushat came back into view, swinging once with his sword, and then plowing, shield-first, into the Beast's foreleg.

And they both went over the edge.

The squad scattered as they saw the enormous reddish-brown thing tumble towards them, shrieking in anger, and perhaps fear. The shriek ended with horrifying, wet SPHLUMP, blood and gore spraying across the floor of the cave. Edzul forced himself to look. He didn't want to have to see his friend's body, but he had to make sure the Beast was well and truly dead.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But other than the one foot, Ushat's body was nowhere to be found. Perhaps it was somehow under—?

"He's alive!" Avuz shouted. "Up there!"

Sure enough, Ushat was still up there, clinging to his shield, which was wedged into a crack in the otherwise sheer olivine wall, only a half-dwarf's height below the clifftop.

"Hold on!" Edzul shouted. He turned to the two humans on his squad. "Luthi! Therset! Put those long legs to good use and go get help! Run!" To the rest of his squad, he spoke more quietly, but with urgency. "Find a way up there. Now."

The squad scattered to do as they were told, and into the quiet left by their departure, he heard Ushat's voice. It was the voice he used when reciting his poetry, when he the tavern was getting noisy and he wanted everyone's attention.

"O Limul, can it all end so quickly?" Ushat grunted and swung his free arm up to get a grip on the green stone.

He hissed fiercely, "Fear, begone."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He forced the toe of his one remaining steel boot into the wall and continued his oration. "No, I fear not these gruesome wounds."

Slowly, he began to pull himself towards the cliff's edge. "Faith demands it." The swordspoet's voice rang out, angry and defiant:

"Begone Fear!"

At last, he lay, bleeding and panting on the clifftop. But his poem was not done. His voice was still audible throughout the cavern, but he spoke gently, sounding almost surprised. "Praise be, Limul. My fear ends so quickly!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


   
No one ever figured out how he got up there in the first place. The miners had to dig a new channel just so that the medical dwarves could get to him. He has since learned to wield his shield in the same arm as his crutch, but he's considering retiring from the military life, to spend more time on his poetry, and maybe pick up a craft or two.

Edit: Poetic forms must be observed.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2023, 11:33:42 am by DrWenn »
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DrWenn

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Wait wait, I need to rewrite that poem at the end to fit Ushat's favorite poetic form:

O Limul, can it all end so quickly?
Fear, begone.
No, I fear not these gruesome wounds.
Faith demands it. Begone fear!
Praise be, Limul. My fear ends so quickly!
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Salmeuk

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Quote
Graphic depictions of violence and poetry.

this is what I live for. keep up the story :]
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King Zultan

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Mules on columns and poets fighting forgotten beasts, can't wait to see what happens next in this place.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

DrWenn

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Re: Bandhalls - "A Song of Horn, Stench and Hair"
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2023, 04:39:27 pm »

There are a lot of poets in Bandhalls. Also dancers. They're attracted to the Accidental Horn, our tavern. Some dwarves like them because they are entertaining. Some ask for a permanent residence, thinking it'll be an easy life, full of singing, dancing, reciting poetry, and drinking. And, well, I don't want to say that they're wrong, but in addition to the singing, dancing, reciting poetry, and drinking (definitely lots of drinking), they are immediately put to work hauling, smoothing, farming, and leading stray animals back out to their pastures.

Bandhalls definitely has too many animals: dogs and cats, horses and donkeys, goats and pigs, llamas and alpacas, peacocks and turkeys, chicken and rabbits, reindeer and yaks. Everywhere, reindeer and yaks. Leading them out of the fortress and up to their pastures (which are quickly becoming clay pits as they eat all the grass) is a commonly needed job. You're about to hear a story from one of our many pets, Udib Dakostdoren ("Syrup Floordiamond"), who was on yak-wrangling duty the day that the minotaur arrived. A minotaur called Nol Nustetosp Musöruslu Otub ("Aura Thunderedsieges, the Adventurous Lightning of Yearlings"). It takes centuries to earn a name that long. It came charging into Emäthîton, climbed a tree to leap over our walls, rampaged through the rabbit pasture, and... well, that would spoil Udib's poem.

The only reason I'm telling you all this backstory before I let Udib take over is so that you can truly appreciate her mastery of the poetic form called The Fated Bones. It's rich with satire and allusion, so it helps to know a little bit about the characters (and especially their names) before you listen. Anyway, that's enough from me. Now it's time to hear from Udib Floordiamond!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)



Lowly poet: sweet, shining,
Tasked to toil, in sun and air,
With beasts of horn, stench and hair.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Besieging beast: charging, climbing.
She stamps her hooves, chews her cud,
Her horns drenched, in rabbit's blood.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Thunder strikes, fast as lightning,
Chews a hand, breaks a pinky.
I lie in leaves, weak, stinky.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Lo, a savior!, What timing!
Hairy, stinking, deadly yak
Leaves Nol dead, flat on her back.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I still live, sweetly rhyming,
Molars missing, fingers torn.
My thanks to hair, stench and horn.
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DrWenn

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Re: Bandhalls - Featuring "A Song of Horn, Stench, and Hair"
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2023, 04:48:03 pm »

I gotta say that dwarf poetry is hard. Seven syllables is not enough to get allusions, parallelism, reversed grammatical structures in there. And caesuras on every line basically means that every line is only 3 or 4 syllables long.

But I do love a challenge.

Although, there's no way in fun, I could do this improvised.
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Salmeuk

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Re: Bandhalls - Featuring "A Song of Horn, Stench, and Hair"
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2023, 06:00:50 pm »

nice, I love it when people translate the described forms into actual poems or songs
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DrWenn

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Bandhalls - "The Tragedy of Limul, Puncher of Llamas"
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2023, 09:58:41 pm »

No in-character narration this time, but I wanted to share the latest from Bandhalls.

CW: violence and death involving fictional children. Also, this story does not have a happy ending.

Okay, this story has two prologues.

Prologue I (Sad Kids)

This fort has had a depressed children problem for a while. The first one to descend into depression was a child named Limul Olonvod. I worked on improving her living space, but she started throwing tantrums. At first, she was mostly taking things out on the llamas and alpacas, which was fine by me, as they were beating each other up anyway. (I tried to nickname her "Llama Puncher", but for some reason, her nickname would only stick around for a few months before resetting back to Limul on its own.) But eventually she beat another dwarf to death, and so I had to lock her up.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Taking a cue from an idea I saw someone else try, I put her in her own little suite. I made it big and smooth and put fancy stuff in there. She got her own dining room, and I made storage zones in there so that other dwarves would fill the place with food, drinks, and toys. I put all the stray kittens in there too. (I also pastured her pet reindeer in there, which was a mistake because there wasn't any grass. That didn't end well.)

Anyway, I eventually expanded the suite to have two other depressed kids in adjoining bedrooms and installed a rudimentary mist generator. (Just channeled a bit off the river and had it dump through the fort all the way down to the first cavern layer. Probably should have done that to the second cavern layer instead, as that one doesn't have any useful plants and is full of forgotten beasts, but hindsight, etc.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It took several years and lots of tweaking (kids want cups and clothes; other dwarves keep coming in to eat and drink and play with the toys; etc.), but eventually it started to work. All three kids eventually returned to the green and nobody else got tantrumed to death. I let them out of the Grumpy Dwarf Suite, and they went back to being just like the other kids.


Prologue 2 (Forgotten Beasts)

The second cavern layer is pretty much empty, so I locked it off a while ago. It's been filling up with forgotten beasts, and I haven't bothered to do anything about it. It's fun to watch them kill each other. Webs versus dust makes for an interesting battle. (The webs won.)

Before I locked it off, this cavern layer was where the events in my previous story "The Poet and the Forgotten Beast". You can read that one, but the short version is that when I sent my soldiers to protect the door to the fort from the second caverns, one of the soldiers (Udib, a poet) managed to find themselves at the top of a very high cliff, fighting one-on-one with a forgotten beast. Udib lost a foot (which sailed off the cliff down to where the other soldiers were standing guard), and then rammed the beast off the edge of the cliff with their shield. Udib also went over the edge, but managed to grab hold of the wall on the way down and then climbed back up to the ledge.

The game insisted that Udib was in an "unreachable" place, and we had to tunnel in to retrieve him. I still have no idea how he got up there.

The pool of blood from the beast he killed is still there at the bottom of the cliff.


The Main Event (A Murder Mystery with No Solution)

So Erong, the spidery, web-slinging beast has been wandering the second cavern layer, killing everything else in there. Every now and then I get a notification that it's fighting something, and I check in to see if anything interesting is going on.

This time, the battle log has no other creatures. "The forgotten beast's head takes the full force of the impact and the part splits in gore!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Did it fall off something?

So I check, and I find Erong's corpse lying at the bottom of the exact same cliff that the poet pushed the other forgotten beast off of, only two squares away from the other beast's puddle of blood. What a coincidence!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wonder if there's anything at the top of the cliff?

Nothing immediate, but as I scroll up a z-level, I see that about a dozen squares away, up a small hill, Limul the llama puncher is sitting in a puddle of blood, playing make believe. She is grievously injured, and covered in Erong's forgotten beast blood. I pause the game to take one screenshot of her because holy crap!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And as soon as I unpause, she dies right in front of me. None of the other dwarf deaths hurt as much as this one.

And get this: the clifftop is still apparently unreachable. While I'm looking to see how she got up there, I get the notification that Limul has been missing for a week. I have to unlock the doors I put in after rescuing Udib and order a nearby wall dug just to get the dwarves to find her body.

I don't know what actually happened up there. I get messages for the forgotten beast fighting other things out in the caves, so I figured if one of my dwarves was out in the caves fighting a forgotten beast, there would probably be a message about that, but I didn't see one.

Open to hearing theories, either game-wise or story-wise, about what exactly went down at the top of that cliff.
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DrWenn

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Bandhalls - "A Study in Snarlscarlet"
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2023, 11:18:42 pm »

Okay, I've got a story and a question about a disappearing object. If you're just interested in the question, you can skip to the end.

------------

Report from Såkzul Glovewarm, Captain of the Guard, dictated to Udib Seercloistered on the 9th of Opal, 108.

Desibêngeng, "Snarlscarlet" was one of Bandhalls oldest and most enigmatic artifacts. It was a small object, a ring, made of translucent white gypsum, but with an incredible amount of detail on it. Bands of fabric, metal, and leather encircled the shank, while impossibly small steel rings dangle from the undergallery and yellowish citrine spikes form the prongs of the setting.

Standard dwarven artifact, in other words. The only truly notable feature is the center stone, made from gypsum and carved to appear like a miniature copy of the entire ring itself, complete with an even smaller ring at its tip. Presumably the recursion stops eventually, but it give the impression of an infinite regression of smaller rings. Truly impressive craftdwarfship. Highest quality.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It had been sitting on display for several years in our library, the Confining Vault. An ironic name, if you ask me, given the long list of artifacts that failed to stay confined in it. Maybe if they'd given me the chains and cage I asked for back in 105, we would still have them all. A whole year without enough spots to punish everyone. Dwarves all went soft that year, and they never recovered, if you ask me. Don't write this part down.

Anyway, we got advance notice of this one. One of the guard monkeys* we chained near the exhibits kicked up a ruckus and someone noticed it missing almost immediately. Word came to me while I was in our barracks, watching a shield demonstration, along with most of the fortress's hammerdwarves and a one of the newer recruits from the swordsdwarf squad.

*Scribe's note: It was an aye-aye, which is technically a lemur, not a monkey.

I was just about to order people into a search party and to make up a list of dwarves to interrogate when a skinny old dwarf in full battle armor wanders into the barracks. Ever since we added a back exit from the barracks into the trap corridor, a certain kind of visitor insists on taking the "scenic route" on their way in or out of the fortress. Heck, some of them will do it in the middle of a siege. We've lost at least a half dozen visitors that way.*

*Scribe's note: Including the "skinny old dwarf's" daughter, who died trying to walk out through the trap corridor during a goblin siege two years ago.

Anyway... I feel like I say "anyway" too much. You can edit those repetetive words out, right?*

*Scribe's note: I can... But I usually don't.

Anyw— ugh. I assumed this was just another visitor with a morbid curiosity taking the long way out when I glance down at his hand, and right there, where anyone can see it, is Snarlscarlet. It's pretty hard to miss. The skinny old dwarf just kind of freezes when he sees us and one by one, everyone stops talking about shields and looks at the ring he's holding.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

After a moment of confusion, my well-trained hammerdwarves just unload on him. Soon the swordsdwarf is at him too, and even a couple war dogs join in on the fun. The bastard had full metal plate armor and a bronze hammer, but I don't think he got in a single hit before we were done with him.

Later on, I learned that this guy* was a -=necromancer=-. Also a eunuch, but that's neither here nor there.

*Scribe's note: His name was Zuglar Workergold.

Fortunately he didn't have a chance to cast any spells before we made him look like broken tin bucket full of red mud. Apparently, he'd just walked into the fort without talking to anyone, made his way to the library, picked up the ring, and then walked straight into the barracks. I don't know if he thought he was looking for a quiet backdoor, or if he was heading to the corpses in the refuse pile out back, or what, but whatever the reason, he didn't get out of our fortress alive.

But I have to report that we did not recover Snarlscarlet. Several witnesses attested to seeing him drop the ring, along with his shield and a book, but even after a thorough search of the room, the ring was nowhere to be found. We found the necromancer's book, armor, shield, seven of his teeth, and about five mugs worth of his blood, but the ring seems to have vanished. I don't know much about necromancers, but if it's possible* that they can cast spells that would hide an object or instantly transport it somewhere else, that would explain what happened. I'm having dwarves search the rooms with their eyes closed just in case.

*Scribe's note: It's not, at least as far as I know.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyway, Commendations for hammerdwarves Zasit, Urist, Udib, Avuz, and Tosid of the Silvery Fists and for swordsdwarf Lorbam of the Daggers of Slipping for quick action. Extra meat for the war dogs Kadol and Reg. They did well, but I'm still going to chalk this one up as a loss.

That should be enough, right? I hate paperwork.

Final scribe's note: I took posession of the necromancer's book myself. I was a little worried it might be dangerous, as necromancer's texts often are. But it turned out to be a self-indulgent essay by the necromancer himself. It describes a failed attempt by Zuglar to corrupt Etur Shieldbrass over 30 years ago. The title is "The Captain of the Guard: A New Approach". I'm not so sure Zuglar's new approach to dealing with Captains of Guards was effective, but I'll stick it in the library anyway.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

---------

The short version:

A necromancer waltzed into my fort, grabbed an artifact ring and tried to walk out... by walking through the barracks... while 8 military dwarves and two war dogs were standing there. They beat him to a pulp and he dropped the ring during the fight. After the fight, the ring seems to have disappeared. It's not in the barracks, no one near the barracks is carrying it, and it's longer listed on the fort's list of artifacts. It IS listed in the stocks menu, and when I click on the magnifying glass icon for it, it doesn't bring up the item's description. It DOES recenter the view on a tile in the barracks that has a bed and a war dog (who is not carrying the ring). Any idea where it went?
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King Zultan

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Re: Bandhalls - Now Featuring "A Study in Snarlscarlet"
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2023, 04:15:15 am »

A mystery for the ages!

Also it seems like I've heard of something like this happening in a different fort but I don't remember if it ever showed back up.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

DrWenn

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Pour One Out for Poor Thirsty Feb Tiredtrade (A Short Anecdote from Bandhalls)
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2023, 10:50:10 pm »

I've been building an outpost for the fort waay underground, just above the magma sea, and the biggest project has been getting some water down there for a well. Not only did it take a long time to dig the stairwell all the way from the nearest water source (the first cavern layer) down to the level of the magma and get all the various floodgates and levers in place, but I also accidentally let a circus freak out when building the reservoir, so I had to work very carefully around that. He's well-isolated now, so no more fun from him.

Anyway, finally everything was in place. One last scan through the water path to make sure all the access doors are locked and no one's in there... We're good, so let's send a miner in to break through to the water. He's in and out plenty fast, and I lock the door behind him. I realize I positioned the top flood gate in the wrong place to be of any use, but that's fine, there's a backup at the bottom too. Nothing to do but sit back and watch the water tumble down 70+ z-levels.

Wait, 5 levels down, there is a dwarf. Feb Tiredtrade somehow got into the stairwell and I didn't notice. This is not going to end well. But all is not lost. The water has a LOONG way to go, and it looks like it's going to stay at about level 2 until the water hits the bottom, so he's got plenty of time to book it out of there. So I unlock one of the access hatches and cross my fingers hoping he'll make it out, and that I can close the door behind him in time without losing too much of the mines.

But poor, dumb Feb is not going anywhere. He's thirsty. He keeps trying to drink from the water around him, but it keeps flowing away faster than he can drink it, or else the rushing water makes it too dangerous. He keeps starting a Drink job, and then cancelling it before he slakes his thirst fully. He sits around with no job for a moment, and then he tries again.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Also, he's annoyed at having to drink without a well. At least that's balanced out by his relief at being near a waterfall.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Poor dumb thirsty Feb doesn't seem to notice the trouble he's in. Eventually, he does move about a bit, possibly of his own volition, or possibly just by floating down the stairs. He goes down a few z-levels and ends up in an old mine pocket, where he continues to be thirsty until the water flows up above his head.

As he starts to actively drown, poor dumb oblivious thirsty Feb doesn't panic. He doesn't dwell on the fact that he's dying. His last thoughts are boredom after leading an unexciting life and unease at not having seen art for awhile.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So we pour one down the stairs for you, poor dumb oblivious thirsty and dead Feb. You will be remembered.

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DrWenn

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Re: Bandhalls - Now Featuring "Pour One Out for Poor Thirsty Feb Tiredtrade"
« Reply #14 on: February 23, 2023, 10:59:39 pm »

Sad news! Ushat the poet died an ignominious death. He wandered into the wrong room and got flushed down a water drain into the magma sea.
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