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Author Topic: Welcome to Bandhalls! (Now featuring mules on pillars.)  (Read 710 times)

DrWenn

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Welcome to Bandhalls! (Now featuring mules on pillars.)
« on: January 06, 2023, 04:06:37 pm »

Welcome to Emäthīon! You're not the first human we've had here, so if you can't pronounce that, you can just call it Bandhalls. We're tucked neatly away between the Teeth of Severity and the Comedic Forest. (They sound more impressive in Dwarfish.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The land is good to us here. There are plenty of trees, there's a nice little stream going by the fort, and of course, the mining is good! Just about every metal or gem you could think of is just a few levels below. Things are pretty quiet. Every now and then, a kea might cause a little ruckus up top, or a giant olm might stumble in from below, but our humble militia has no trouble putting them down. I keep telling trying to convince everyone to put a hatch over the well-access stairs to keep out the cave dwellers, but there's always some excuse. "We don't have enough hatches!" "Someone left their soap on the stairs!" But we'll get around to it eventually.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course, last year's goblin raid was a little tougher than we expected, so we're beefing up the military this year, adding a crossbow squad and a hammer squad. I noticed that they're mostly staffed by the dwarves who complain about not having enough "excitement" in their lives. They even tried to turn The Giant Poker into a marksdwarf!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hm? Oh yeah. "Giant Poker"'s just what we call Likot. He's the bald dwarf with the long mustache and sideburns. Used to be a hunter, always getting in over his head with the giant olms, giant cave swallows, and elk birds. But he's doing alright in the crossbow squad, The Tragedy of Shooting. (Again, it sounds better in Dwarfish.) Better than Chunks did when he first joined The Silvery Fists.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why  "Chunks"? Because, well the first time he got into battle, all he did was, well... Let's just say we all know that he'd been eating Ustuth's elk bird heart biscuits and lettuce leaf stew for lunch.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If you ask me, they should draft little Lokum as soon as he's old enough. Did you know that they accidentally locked him in the caverns when he was only 3 years old? He spent half a year down there, apparently wrestling cave croccodiles with his bare hands. Some of the other kids call him "Cave Boy", but not to his face.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Mayor Zasit Mamotheskal, not to be confused with Zasit Dodókstettad, the Sacred Ray of the The Bejewelled Doctrine, or the woodburner Zasit Gebmörul, or the presser Zasit Rithdural... where was I? Right, Mayor Zasit. He does a pretty good job of running things. Better than the "Baron" would have done anyway. Good thing that's just a symbolic position. Don't get me started on Baron Besmar.

I mean, I know he's a count now, but he'll always be "Baron Besmar" to me. He's a good weaponsmith, for sure. Dude went into a trance and bulit this war hammer out of *giant* *olm* *bones*. Covered in copper and jet and leather and pictures of dwarves and well, you can go see it in the library, the Confining Vault. (Sounds better in— you get the idea.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So he makes this hammer Tudruglar and so they make him Baron. First thing he does is issue a bunch of export bans and immediately accuses everyone in a position of authority of violating them: the chief medical dwarf, the dungeon master, and even the bunsoth captain of the guard. They all get convicted, but given that Captain Såkzul hands out the punishments, they just get a slap on the wrist.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But get this. As soon as Captain Såkzul is done "punishing" the export prohibition violators, someone steals one of the fort's artifacts, the Speakers of Slapping (better, Dwarfish, yadda-yadda-yadda), and after collecting a bunch of tips, it turns out that it was stolen by bunsoth Baron Besmar. Dwarf confessed that some elf spy threatened him if he didn't steal the thing for her, so he did! And they still let him be the Baron!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyway, make yourself at home. I assume you're here for the tavern. It's two stairs down and up the hall. Look for the sign that says "The Accidental Trumpet".

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What? Oh, nah. That one sounds dumb in Dwarfish too.

* * *

My first fortress! I didn't think to take screenshots until a couple years after the above events.

More has happened since then, including proper battles, secret meetings, depressed children, and unruly llamas and alpacas, but this seemed like a good place to pause.

If people get a kick out of this, I may write up some more.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2023, 07:57:44 pm by DrWenn »
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Magnus

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Re: Welcome to Bandhalls!
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2023, 09:22:53 pm »

Welcome, shortbeard!

Tales such as yours provide much entertainment for older expedition leaders. We know, that while your fort looks stable and prosperous on the outside, it is only one slight push away from madness and fun.

Let us know when the fun begins. I suggest starting with screw pumps.
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Ilrom Ziril - The Peak of Fire:
An epic saga of weregophers and volcano gods.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=148021.0

DrWenn

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Re: Welcome to Bandhalls!
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2023, 04:37:01 pm »

This might be the first fort I've played myself, but I've read about plenty of others, so I've been looking forward to having fun for a while now. My philosophy is that if you're more attached to the place, then the fun is more, well, fun.

It takes a little while to write things up, so I figured I'd post this little prologue to judge interest first.

Thanks for the encouraging words. Otherwise it can kind of feel like shouting into the dark. Dwarf Fortress can feel a little isolating if you've got no one to share the story with, and there's only so much fortress talk my beardless friends are willing to tolerate.

 -- Skinnybeard Dr. Wenn
 
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DrWenn

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Re: Welcome to Bandhalls!
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2023, 05:51:03 pm »

"Slow down, Domas. I didn't even know we had any mules!"

"Just the one, Mayor Zasit. Whoever set up the horse and donkey pastures had them a little too close together, and well, you know."

"But it's dead now?"

"Yes."

"And it starved to death?"

"Yes."

"Even though it was being kept in the donkey pasture, which has plenty of grass."

"Yes. Well, sort of."

"What do you mean, 'sort of'?"

"You know that little stone column up top in the donkey pasture?"

"Yes, I see it every time I have to go outside. I'd always wondered what it was doing there. It's not very tall or impressive."

"Oh, that I can explain. When we pulled out the tree stumps for the pasture, it exposed a hole down into the fortress. And the dwarf who was charged with filling the hole got a little carried away and just kept piling stone up until they had a column. And no one could bear to tell him that he was just supposed to pave over the hole, so, yeah, now we have a column by the front hatch."

"And what the zagith does this have to do with our starving mule?"

"Well, that's where we found it."

"By the column?"

"No, *on* the column."

"I'm sorry, I must've misheard you. I thought you said the mule was on top of the column."

"That's correct, Mayor. We found the mule's body on top of the column."

"And it had just been sitting up there like some kind of guru?"

"Apparently."

"And then it starved to death."

"Yes. There wasn't any grass up there."

"I see. And nobody noticed it was up there until after it had died."

"Yes."

"That seems implausible."

"Mayor Zasit, do you go outside a lot?"

"Only when I have to."

"And why don't you like going outside?"

"I'm dwarf enough to admit that I'm not fond of the sun. Or the sky in general. It's just too big."

"When you go outside, how often do you look up?"

"Point taken, Domas. Now tell me, how did the bunsoth thing get up there?"

"Ah, yes. Well. Do you remember when the donkeys were getting those mysterious minor wounds?"

"It may surprise you to learn that I don't pay as much attention to the donkeys as much as you do."

"Sorry, sir."

"Don't worry about it, Domas. Tell me about the mysterious donkey wounds."

"Right. Well we noticed that some of the donkeys had been getting bruises and twisted ankles and we didn't know why for a long time. One of the guests reported having to dodge a donkey that was sliding across the grass as if it had been kicked by a very large animal."

"The war rhino is being kept elsewhere, right?"

"Yes, it wasn't the rhino. And we're pretty sure it wasn't an elk bird or any other wild animal."

"Didn't I hear reports of the donkeys fighting each other?"

"No, mayor. That was the llamas. And the alpacas. We're keeping them separate right now."

"So what was knocking over the donkeys?"

"It took a while to figure that one out, and I'm still not 100% sure what happened, but I have a theory."

"Go on..."

"One of the woodcutters was coming up the stairs to go chop down a tree, and as she came out the hatch, one of the donkeys bumped into her right at the top of the stairs and she fell all the way back down into the lever room."

"Was she okay?"

"Just stunned. But it got me thinking. The donkey pasture is very close to the front hatch. And if people are bumping into donkeys right in front of the hatch, then what would happen if one of the donkeys was standing on *top* of the hatch?"

"We wouldn't be able to open it?"

"Some of our dwarves are very strong, sir. And they're usually pretty grumpy when they have to open that hatch, so I imagine they open the thing pretty fast."

"I think I can see where you're going with this..."

"Yes, well, we moved the donkeys a bit further away from the hatch about a month ago, and we haven't had any reports of injured or flying donkeys since then."

"Good thinking! But what does this have to do with our dead mule?"

"*sigh* Well, ah... You see, the mule was also in the donkey pasture..."

"Yes... oh. Oh! Ngathsesh. You don't think..."

"That's my theory, Mayor. It explains all the evidence. *sigh*(excepttheelkblood)*cough*"

"Well, I guess it makes as much–wait, what‽"



edit: spelling
« Last Edit: January 08, 2023, 11:37:20 pm by DrWenn »
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DrWenn

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Content Warning: Graphic depictions of violence and poetry.



Captain Edzul Tangathdodók caught himself unconsciously lifting a gauntleted hand towards his mouth and forced it back down by his side. He'd been a soldier for almost a year now, and yet some part of his brain kept expecting to be able to chew on his nails through his steel gauntlets. He picked his shield up off the cavern floor, brushed a little fungus off of it, and then turned to face his squad.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He cleared his throat and tried to find the right words. He knew he wasn't great with words, but he had to say something to prepare the squad. "This will be the first real test of The Daggers of Slipping. Our squad has helped clean up troglodytes and giant cave rats, but today we're up against something much worse."

The members of his squad were still quietly muttering to each other and only half listening to him. He had to get their attention. "It's a Forgotten Beast."

That shut them up.

"According to reports, it is attacking serpent-people that, or at least it was. That sounds like good news, but once it's done with them, well, you know." He had their undivided attention. "It's supposed to look like a big buffalo. But with, uh. With feathers."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

At least one dwarf snorted at that. Or maybe that was the war rhino.

"Good news is, it doesn't seem to have wings, so we don't have to worry about it flying over our wildlife defense fenc- uh, defense walls. If it comes in, it'll probably be by breaking down one of the gates or climbing over our walls."

This didn't seem to comfort anyone.

"But I am confident that we will pull through. I am proud to serve with all of you. We've only been together for a year, but even in that short time, you've made me proud. Very proud."

Atīs, a dark-skinned swordsdwarf jabbed her elbow into the thigh of the soldier standing next to her, with a surprisingly loud "CLANK!" The human woman glanced down at her squadmate, and Atīs "whispered" loudly enough for everyone to hear. "I think he might be proud of us."

Everyone except the Captain chuckled. It wasn't much of a joke, but Atīs seemed to have a knack for making jokes at the most inappropriate times. Edzul could have reprimanded her, but he figured this was a good time to break the tension, before the big fight would come. He knew how to deal with Atīs.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Recruit Atīs!", Edzul boomed. The swordsdwarf saluted sharply. Maybe too sharply. Was she making fun of him? He continued with only a brief pause. "Where is Recruit Ushat?"

Atīs tried to smile, but he could tell that she was nervous. "Sir, I'm not sure. Maybe in the tavern reciting one of his boring poems?"

The captain smiled in spite of himself. He actually liked Ushat's poetry. "Aren't you his apprentice?"

"Sir, yes sir. I hope to learn a lot from him about poetic forms, but if I have to hear another morality tale about the great god Limul, I might start spewing ngathsesh."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edzul sighed. "I meant don't you know where your master is?"

At this, Atīs looked genuinely worried. "I honestly have no idea where he ended up."

The human swordsdwarf (or would that be "swordshuman"?) raised her hand. It was a peculiarly human gesture, but Edzul had gotten used to it. "Yes, Luthi?"

Luthi spoke softly, but her voice somehow managed to fill the cavern. "I saw him in the barracks, putting on his armor with the rest of us. But I didn't see where he ended up."

Edzul always felt a bit uneasy treating Luthi as a subordinate. Not only did she tower over him, but she was a priestess. How the "Holy Price" of the Creed of Trades ended up on his squad is a question he had been unable to find an answer for.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Thank y—" An ear-splitting shriek tore through the cavern, seeming to come from everywhere at the same time.

The squad erupted in panic. No one seemed to know what to do. Captain Edzul pulled his sword out of its scabbard and bellowed "CIRCLE UP! Back to back! Swords and shields at the ready! Eyes open! First one to spot the menace gets a mug of that fancy new mead!"

To their credit, the swordsdwarves (and two swordshumans) snapped into action as soon as they knew what to do. He continued his bellowing, basically just repeating the lessons in observation he'd learned only a month ago. "Watch the doors! Watch the crevices! Watch the shadows! Look left, right, down, and—"

"Up there!" Avuz shouted, as if on queue.

Edzul turned and looked up. He saw nothing but the sheer back wall of the cavern. So he looked up further. And further. At about a height of a dozen dwarves, at the top of what he now realized was a cliff, he saw... Well it wasn't a Forgotten Beast. Was that—?

"It's Ushat!" Atīs shouted.

And she was right. That long, bright orange hair was unmistakable.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How the hell did he get up there? And what was he doing? The poet had his sword and shield out and looked like he was fighting someth—

That terrible screech echoed off the walls again and Ushat dove out of sight just as an enormous mass of muddy brown feathers came into sight over the cliff edge. Edzul looked around frantically for a way up the sheer cliff face. Where were those damn crossbowdwarves‽

The Captain heard Ushat shouting in pain and a shower of pebbles fell to the ground. He looked up to see Ushat getting to his feet right at the cliff's edge. The feathered monstrosity slowly came into view, towering over the trembling poet. Almost all of the swordsdwarves were shouting at him, but even standing right next to them, Edzul couldn't make out a word.

The Beast's feathers undulated rhythmically, and then it suddenly lunged forwards. The dwarf barely avoided getting impaled on the things massive horns. Edzul flinched as he watched. They didn't have enough training for this yet. Ushat's shield was too high, and he was jabbing his sword wildly in the terrible creature's general direction. The giant buffalo-thing seemingly just shifted its feet and Ushat screamed in pain. A rock came sailing off the edge in an arc, landing at the base of the cliff.

No, not a rock. A boot. A boot with a foot still in it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edzul was certain that the rest of Ushat was going to follow soon after. What were they doing here? They were poets and priestesses, brewers and administrators. Maybe someday they would be soldiers, but right now? Even if he could find a way up there, he wasn't sure he'd know what to do.

He heard but did not see the sound of horn against steel. Ushat shouted from out of sight and the monster dodged sideways, sending a hail of small rocks tumbling down towards the now silent dwarves. Suddenly Ushat came back into view, swinging once with his sword, and then plowing, shield-first, into the Beast's foreleg.

And they both went over the edge.

The squad scattered as they saw the enormous reddish-brown thing tumble towards them, shrieking in anger, and perhaps fear. The shriek ended with horrifying, wet SPHLUMP, blood and gore spraying across the floor of the cave. Edzul forced himself to look. He didn't want to have to see his friend's body, but he had to make sure the Beast was well and truly dead.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But other than the one foot, Ushat's body was nowhere to be found. Perhaps it was somehow under—?

"He's alive!" Avuz shouted. "Up there!"

Sure enough, Ushat was still up there, clinging to his shield, which was wedged into a crack in the otherwise sheer olivine wall, only a half-dwarf's height below the clifftop.

"Hold on!" Edzul shouted. He turned to the two humans on his squad. "Luthi! Therset! Put those long legs to good use and go get help! Run!" To the rest of his squad, he spoke more quietly, but with urgency. "Find a way up there. Now."

The squad scattered to do as they were told, and into the quiet left by their departure, he heard Ushat's voice. It was the voice he used when reciting his poetry, when he the tavern was getting noisy and he wanted everyone's attention.

"Can it all end so quickly?" Ushat grunted and swung his free arm up to get a grip on the green stone. He orated fiercely, "Begone fear." He forced the toe of his one remaining steel boot into the wall. He continued his oration. "Gruesome wounds." Slowly, he began to pull himself towards the cliff's edge. The swordspoet's voice rang out, angry and defiant:

"Begone Fear!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


   
Ushat survived. He had somehow pulled himself up to the top of the cliff, using his arms, and his one good leg. He collapsed as soon as he made it to the top. No one ever figured out how he got up there in the first place. The miners had to dig a new channel just so that the medical dwarves could get to him. He has since learned to wield his shield in the same arm as his crutch, but he's considering retiring from the military life, to spend more time on his poetry, and maybe pick up a craft or two.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 16, 2023, 11:09:21 am by DrWenn »
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martinuzz

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Re: Welcome to Bandhalls! (Now featuring mules on pillars.)
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2023, 10:18:36 am »

Welcome!
Nice writing, keep it up!

Have you seen that the forum has a Community Games & Stories board? That is were stories are usually posted.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

DrWenn

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Re: Welcome to Bandhalls! (Now featuring mules on pillars.)
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2023, 10:26:45 am »

Welcome!
Nice writing, keep it up!

Have you seen that the forum has a Community Games & Stories board? That is were stories are usually posted.

Well that explains a lot. I went looking for a subforum like that, but I somehow missed it. I'll migrate this stuff over to there.
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