Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Devourer]

Weeeeell, I cheated to give myself an amazing elven spearmaster, and went to find the elf capital.

When I got there, I went on a killing spree, starting off by MAKING THE DRUID'S HEAD EXPLODE.

A short while afterwards, I was setting trees on fire and killing bowmen, then I caught fire and ended up doing the last of my pathetic existence running around like a headless chicken...

[Koja]

One recently rolled unarmed dwarf. 5 enemies including a cyclops. 5 near-simultaneous asphixiations. Lots of wrestling experience.

[ColonelTEE3]

I dont have any specific battles that were particularly cool or funny that i can remember, but im sure there were a couple. I just remember the joy i had in standing in an open hall in dark forts letting everyone come to me and id cut all their children to pieces, pick up their limbs and use them as weapons against their own family... using their heads as projectile weapons....

I remember my first encounter with a dragon, i brought a full party of trained soldiers, no drunks even, macemen and axemen and i was like a spear dude or something, and the dragon thoroughly bitch slapped us all way, with nothing more than a dark brown wound to its tail. A game year later i returned alone as a very well trained swordsman and avenged them, cutting the dragon open, burning its bodies and taking its skull as a trophy.

And there was the time i was training to be a good wrestler, so i found this mule i thought would be a good sparring partner but i knew there was no way he'd be a real threat. First chance he had to counter strike he mangled my head with a kick and i decided it was time to find a less aggressive sparring partner.

Then i had some fun with renaming animals when i was really just starting out in adventure mode, i renamed a horse to 'the Faggot' and i got in a fight with it. Reading the script of what happened in our fight made me burst out laughing, every line was just too funny to take seriously 'You beat the Faggot in the head with your mace', 'the Faggot kicks you in the lower chest'! I dont know, it was funny at the time, it was the kinda thing you had to have been there for.

[Mori]

Last night I managed to actually keep an adventurer alive long enough to get him to master skill in axe. Today I've been running around killing stuff, and somehow got to legendary (caution, and saving before entering a ruin/dungeon). So I'm merrily massacring everything, when out of the shadows steps...A HYDRA. I knew I was doomed, my axe blows just glanced off. Then he bit a chunk out of my arm and i dropped my axe. I decide that this is the end, and start throwing stuff at him. I hurl a bag of coins that I stole from town at it, and it somehow mangled one of his heads. He's still got his other head grabbing my leg, and another head tearing a chunk out of somewhere, when he gives in to pain and collapses. I grab my axe (which goes straight to my backpack, as my arms are messed up) and desperately crawl away. I try to escape the dungeon, and I get outside, after falling unconcious many times. Then I see the message 'So-and-so the hydra has bled to death'.

I escaped the area and narrowly avoid death by dehydration (a long sloooow crawl to the edge of the area). Somehow I killed a hydra with a lucky shot from a bag of coins. It basically destroyed the head, it took out the brain, an eye, both ears and the nose. Thank god for heavy bleeding.

Of course, then I narrowly survive getting stung through the neck by a giant desert scorpion. I still have 3 arrows embedded in me that I don't know how to remove. I think my character is indestructible.

[Kagira]

quote:Originally posted by Andrelius:
<STRONG>Well, I swore never to bring any elves with me, when I found out they wore thongs. Although that was not the reason I avoided them. How I found out they wore thongs was because one pounced on a cyclops, and the cyclops was grabbing her thong.

So I like, peacefully left them to their action and plundered some other cave.

Share your stories of crappy or hilarious battles.</STRONG>

Elf lady in a thong vs. a giant one-eyed monster D:

Anyways, perverse battles aside, I'd have to say my best is when I took down an entire human town just by throwing butterflies all over the place.

[stirpot]

How do you guys find these dragons and hydras? I've been around my gameworld several times and I still haven't encountered a monster that my guy can't one hit kill.

[BlueDestiny]

My not-uber-but-getting-there human swordsman had a very painful encounter with an elite bowman. Fortunately, it was a cramped tower. Unfortunately, I got shot in the right hand, dropping my shield. I retreated, and on my next attack got shot in my right upper arm. I manage to kill the bastard, but not before he shoots me in the hand AGAIN. So as you can imagine, I was bleeding badly and in excrutiating pain, especially after I pulled the arrows out. I died from blood loss trying to escape.

[Draewn Suntto]

I was in a ruin, slaughtering undead with my sword-fighting adventurer. Skeletal torsos and zombie heads fly left and right, as my two-handed sword cleaves them into little pieces. I think I was up to 50 kills...  , and turn back to face him. We fence, my two-hander and his scimitar clanging back and forth... Slash! My Spleen has been cut out!   :mad: I stagger backwards, then charge forwards attempting to give him a wound in retaliation. Clang. Clang. Clang. THWACK! My left leg is OFF at the knee! I topple over, hacking the swordmaster in two with a swing from prone. I laugh with victory as his torso flies away... Then attempt to crawl towards the map edge, after putting my lower leg in my backpack as a souvenir. I am almost there... Almost there! Suddenly... WHAM!  :eek:  The back of my skull has been caved in by a Zombie Hammerlord with a maul!  I die almost instantly. I stare incredously. "But... But... I was doing so well...." I dig through my mp3s and put on Taps. I listen for a minute. I start another adventurer.  

While that may not seem to horrible, it was horrible in that I was so excited I had won, I was partying and smiling happily as I dragged my self out of there, not really paying attenton, and then.. WHAM!!! Dead. Over. Would you like your possessions identified?

[Skyrage]

quote:Originally posted by Kagira:
<STRONG>

Elf lady in a thong vs. a giant one-eyed monster D:

</STRONG>

All that's missing is a lot of tentacles...

:roll:

[Keilden]

quote:Originally posted by stirpot:
<STRONG>How do you guys find these dragons and hydras? I've been around my gameworld several times and I still haven't encountered a monster that my guy can't one hit kill.</STRONG>

Quests

[Haedrian]

I killed a goblin spearman, so I picked up his spear

Then i spotted a goblin

"The spinnig iron spear hits the goblin in the head"
"It is pierced through entirely"
"Atu , goblin has been shot and killed"

Not bad for a "Thrower" eh?

[Mori]

I've only found one hydra so far, never even seen a dragon.

I did get crippled by kobolds one time, I killed all the kobold bowmen and swordsmen, and i was playing on a custom undead adventurer, and all the little kobolds came out and broke my limbs. I ended up with almost every bodypart red, and i fought my way out by throwing arrows at them. I got a lot of throwing skill out of that .

[Haedrian]

Goblin child turned into a pincushion.

Anyone else sees this as particularly cruel?

[Turgid Bolk]

I was fighting skeletons and undead in a ruin, and we're up to our ears in them.  Me and my pals are going to work on a skeleton, hacking off an arm and smashing toes and such, when I land a good hit on his upper torso, which sends him flying back into a pillar.  I have one rock left. There's only one square between us, but I decide to throw the rock instead of stepping to him, and by some luck I manage to hit him in the upper torso!  It explodes in gore! That was the most awesome combo I've seen.

A short while later, my adventurer decides to play golf with his spear.  He whacks a zombie to a few squares away. *walk walk walk walk* "Four!" Whacks him again, sends him flying across the ruin, like ten squares or something.  unfortunately he died from that one...but I suppose that's par for the course.

Eventually I got swarmed and my guys were dying off, so I run for it, leaving my spear behind.  Of course when I get back to town, there are no spears to be had...I can't find a spear anywhere.  I end up using a mace, which I have zero skill with, but at least they don't get stuck.  How do you guys deal with losing your weapon of choice?

Then with some fresh mea- er, new friends, I head back to finally kill the big bad guy in the ruins (which two leaders have asked me to kill).  It's been two days since first coming to the ruin, but when I arrive one of the drunks from the first battle is still fighting a zombie who has bitten his leg off.  And this drunk bites back, which is really gross when you think about it but I guess either he's still drunk, or delirious from the pain, or maybe really desperate.  How is he still alive after two days of nonstop wrestling/getting battered?

Eventually everyone dies except the single fellow dwarf I brought with me, an axedwarf, so we team up and we are unstoppable.  We easily clean up the rest of the ruins, what had taken me and a couple dozen helpers several tries.  Not even a scratch on us...and the way we take out enemies as a team is seriously incredible, it's like he knows how I'm going to move and covers my back and everything.  Now we've mostly cleared out the underground, but still haven't found the damn quest monster.  The quest continues...

I love this game.

[Asehujiko]

I just lost one of my (liiiiiiiittle cheaty) uber adventurers(full masterwork adamantium everything from a secondary (cheaty) fort and legendary skills from a ... untility...) to a... cave spider.

Going through a too deeped copperblazes, hordes upon hordes of cave creatures, including, for some reason, a cow(veryinky wtf did you do to that place). Eventualy, in what once was the noble castle, i face a cave spider there on the red carpet. The fight goes like this:

I sever one of his limbs.
He bites me in a foot.(my third light gray wound)
I sever his head.
I walk out.
I collapse from paralysis.
<20>
The end:
The frogman punches you in the left upper leg with his right hand.
It is mangled.
You have bled to death.
The cave crocoldile spits out the human chunk.