I had a random adventurer name come up as Griffoncall. I promptly named him Griff Griffoncall (sounds like a pulp hero to me), and he set about with his iron pike to wreak some havoc. I eventually found a drunk and a peasant to act as cannonfodder, and made my way to a goblin fortress just for giggles. I kill a few goblin drunkards and a guard or two just fine. I then get my pike stuck in one of them and he wrenches it away from me. I manage to get back to him and yank it out, knock the other guy unconscious, and [T]ravel out to heal. I then return, start heading north, and get smacked into by about four goblins at once. Somehow, I crawl off and manage to escape in the same way.
Once more, Griff assaults the fortress, this time sneakily ambushing all the way. About the time I get there, I realize that my weapon is missing. I also find one of the gobblers hanging around, and he notices me. As such, I learn how to wrestle first hand and strangle him to death. I keep looking around for my pike, and eventually encounter more baddies, all of whom go down thanks to my newfound martial wrestling might. I check my name, and I got an appropriate title for a pikeman.
'Griff Griffoncall, the Washed Spike of Glee'. If only I'd earned that with the pike and not wrestling moves. Anyway, I finally found my Iron Pike when I was trying to get a whip away from this goblin lasher.
It was stuck in my head. How in the hell that happened, I don't know. I wound up fleeing from the lasher, for the third time, and Griff had to stop and take care of this pike thing. If he yoinked it out and found himself braindead, oh well. Better than going around with a pike stuck in your head. He yoinked it out, and being the tough bloke he was, only bled for two steps. Emboldened, I guided Griff back into the dreaded goblin maw again. Armed with his pike and his new bold wrestling moves, he was ready for anything, right? Right?
Wrong. Goblin Crossbowman. He snuck up to within two tiles of it. Bolt pierced his right hand in the first exchange. There goes the pike. Oh well, wrestling, right? Griff grabbed the crossbow. He supposedly wrenched it away, according to the combat messages. But...
'The flying iron bolt pierces your head!'
Instant death. Griff Griffoncall the Washed Spike of Glee took a gleefully bloodwashed spike (bolt) right upside the head, where he'd only recently yoinked something much, much larger out.
Of course, all of this was in the foulest of goblin lairs; Spineincests, the bastion of The Lush Immorality. Among his victims were Malignedwets, Lightseduced, and Esteemincests. I can only assume the foul creature that shot him in the head was Goblin McBoltincesthead or somesuch.
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Topic: Funniest Names (Read 793852 times)