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[Empiricist]

Waking from uneasy dreams you find yourself transformed into a most wretched beast - a human, something close enough anyways. Your body doesn't quite match, but your mind? Hoo boy, where to even begin?

You know things never meant to be known, thoughts never meant to be thought. You have learned of countable infinities, but not whether their inventor ever received the professional help they clearly needed. You have internalized the imperial tax code, and it was wholly without your consent. Your mind expanded, with concept upon convoluted concept, painting a world, a new world not of sense or motion but of nested abstraction.

Why does shit have to be so complicated?

Do humans like this? Being filled with five billion thoughts, all deeply deeply deranged? You cannot even begin to understand what poor life choices lead them to this fate, but you only assume they were the wrong ones.

And now you? You're all caught up in this mess too. You can no longer escape humanity, for how can you escape yourself? What you have become?

How could you escape that inescapable siren call, that madness smoldering deep inside your very being? That inescapable inexplainable feeling you could be doing more with your life, that you should be doing more with your life? To climb abstract mountains in the pursuit of abstract things?

You are cursed, you realize; cursed to dream, to yearn, to strive. To march ever onwards to distant horizons and uncertain dawns.

But hey you know kung fu now too, so you got that going for you at least!

Spoiler: The fuck is this? (click to show/hide)

This is a suggestion game about cultivators, kung fu wizards that often occasionally sometimes snort copious quantities of questionable substances in a bid for more power. You'll be playing as a random woodland creature that has spontaneously become a cultivator and who will now proceed to beat the shit out of other people, cultivators, and critters for a variety of contrived reasons.

Spoiler: Rolls (subject to change) (click to show/hide)

Each roll is calculated as a 1d6 - 1d6, yielding a result between -5 and +5 inclusive.

These results map to a scale like the following:

F F F F D E A S S S S
          ^         

F is for Failure - Do not succeed, do not pass go, generally just have a bad time
D is for Disadvantage - Not quite a failure, but failure could definitely be on the horizon. Dodge but find the gunfire tracing closer, clash and find your foe gaining the upper hand.
E is for Equity - Stalemate, you don't really get what you want but neither does the other fucker.
A is for Advantage: Not quite a success, but it's setting you up for it.
S is for Success - You do the thing.

The carat (^) points to the result that was actually rolled.

The scale varies depending on circumstance and the characters involved. A gaggle of gormless chumps might not contribute any Fs the scale, having to rely on you rolling a D first to even start threatening to hurt you. Finding yourself badly outmatched meanwhile might leave your scale filled with Fs and Ds.

Credits to Adwarf for helping run this, and Powder Miner for contributing ideas

[Empiricist]

To begin, please vote on the name, gender, background, initial kit, and fateful encounter of our freshly minted cultivator.

Spoiler: Name (click to show/hide)

What will you call yourself? First name only. Should be a fairly standard English/American name. Steve, Joan, Alex, etc.

Spoiler: Gender (click to show/hide)

Mostly just affects the titles and pronouns you will be addressed by.

Spoiler: Background (click to show/hide)

What were you before? This influences your initial appearance and proficiencies.

[] A Squirrel
Start with a better understanding of movement and acrobatics. Get a free lesson upon reaching Rift's Edge Sect.

[] A Bear
Start with a better understanding of close quarters combat and an additional esoteric technique.

[] A Goose
Start with a buddhist technique, develop more by antagonizing and irritating other people.

Spoiler: Initial Kit (click to show/hide)

What is your starting kit? This affects how you fight initially, but you will reshape it as the game goes on.

[] Deep Blue
Battlefield control kit. Subtly warps space-time to decide whether attacks hit or miss. Can gather and release destructive qi in the form of phantasmal fish. Poor armor and damage control offset by fast regeneration, especially when diverting power from other systems.

[] Overgrowth
Brawler kit. Dynamically allocates kinetic vines to enhance its blow, enhance its weapons, or act as a grappling unit. Repurposes nearby debris as ablative plating, can even process dirt and sand with a bit of extra effort.

[] Thunderseed
Executioner kit. Builds up curses on its foes, dooming them to suffer its decisive blows. Buries destructive seeds into its victims using its fists or its high-powered single shot handgun. Poor damage control offset by layered plating.

[] Hive Augur
Generalist kit. Gains instinctive prophetic knowledge by inflicting or receiving damage. Moderate armor and damage control with multiple redundancies and a heavily armored "citadel" core that allows it to keep fighting even when badly damaged.

[] Earthblood
Gunfighter kit. Highly mobile courtesy of its inbuilt thrusters. Equipped with a pair of armor-piercing SMGs that can dissolve other substances into their ammunition, precipitating them on impact. Rapidly seals all wounds but needs more time to make permanent repairs.

Spoiler: Fateful Encounter (click to show/hide)

Who is the first cultivator you encounter? This will affect the initial trajectory of your story.

[] A Partner
Forge a mutually benefit partnership with an ambitious scion of no reknown. She will wield your strength, and you her ascent.

• Your partner will fight alongside you
• Wide range of opportunities
• No extra learning resources

[] A Mentor
Accept mentorship from a member of The Formless, endowed with strength and whimsy but lacking in ambition.

• Private tutoring from an experienced cultivator
• Few opportunities, it will be up to you to seek them for yourself

[] A Protectorate
Lend your aid to a prodigy entangled in the weaves of The Loom. Temper yourselves upon the flames of adversity.

• Your protectorate will fight alongside you
• Opportunities will come to you, mostly in the wake people trying to screw you over
• Access to some additional learning resources, mostly in the wake people trying to screw you over

[] A Hero
Heed the call of errant of The Crown. He seeks to bring peace to the riftlands but he cannot do it alone.

• Access to some additional learning resources
• Opportunities, mostly for superhero/errant shit

[] A Pariah
The light of the False Moon shines upon you. Form a purely transactional accord with Chang'e.

• Receive potent drugs, in exchange for services rendered
• Receive learning materials from one of the greatest cultivators that ever lived, when she gets around to handing them to you
• Few opportunities, it will be up to you to seek them for yourself
• The False Moon is regarded with suspicion and distrust, best keep your connection a secret

Please vote by block, not by line.

> Alex
> Female
>[X] A Goose
>[X] Earthblood
>[X] A Pariah

[Counterfactual]

> Larry
> Male
> [X] A Goose
> [X] Deep Blue
> [X] A Hero

[Powder Miner]

Noel
Male
Bear
Deep Blue
A Protectorate

[adwarf]

Welp, to think my return to the forums would be from something that started as a deez nuts joke. I am unsure what I'm going to be helping with here, but I will be Emp's assistant for this chaos it seems.

[cronos5010]

> Alex
> Female
> [X] A Squirrel
> [X] Earthblood
> [X] A Protectorate
Kinda want to go full heroic bloodshed Gun-fu tbh.

[King Zultan]

> Alex
> Female
> [X] A Squirrel
> [X] Earthblood
> [X] A Protectorate
Kinda want to go full heroic bloodshed Gun-fu tbh.

+1 For Gun-fu.

[Maximum Spin]

> Larry
> Male
> [X] A Goose
> [X] Deep Blue
> [X] A Hero

+1
_{being female should be illegal}

[Egan_BW]

> Alex
> Female
> [X] A Squirrel
> [X] Earthblood
> [X] A Protectorate
Kinda want to go full heroic bloodshed Gun-fu tbh.

+1 For Gun-fu.

+1 neutral special

[Doomblade187]

Noel
Male
Bear
Overgrowth
A Protectorate

[Empiricist]

Looks like no block's exactly running away with the vote at the moment. In that case I'll give it another 48 hours before calling it. See if that causes any switches or makes people conspire to engineer a tie

I'll take this opportunity to give a bit more information about the two most voted kits in case it changes anyone's vote:

• Deep Blue is capable of gun fu. It'll need to acquire guns (which isn't hard) to do so, but it's still one of the better gunfighting platforms.
  
• Earthblood can fight in close quarters. This being through smacking people and shooting them point blank, or just with fists and scavenged weapons.
  

[VermilionSkies]

> Alex
> Female
> [X] A Squirrel
> [X] Earthblood
> [X] A Protectorate
Kinda want to go full heroic bloodshed Gun-fu tbh.

+1 For Gun-fu.

+1 neutral special

+1 parry this

[NRDL]

> Alex
> Female
> [X] A Squirrel
> [X] Earthblood
> [X] A Protectorate
Kinda want to go full heroic bloodshed Gun-fu tbh.

+1 For Gun-fu.

+1 neutral special

+1 parry this

+1 to Gun Squirrel

[Egan_BW]

Launching volleys of bullet lotuses while leaping between telephone poles.

[Counterfactual]

Alternatively, we could be an annoying goose who bombs people with qi fish while flying overhead and honking.