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[Magmacube_tr]

Oh no, I'm a trans woman. The weirdly validating bit was that it feels like I've "made it" as a trans individual.

Ooooooh... I get it now.

[Tiruin]

I mean, being harassed isn't the be all end all--it's just wow a culture of oppression sucks and is amplified a ton; I feel deflecting that same suppression by your own control is what's more being explored.

Because wow there's some bits of that culture that make things so harsh that assimilation and its own culture is pretty much unseen in it. GLAD THAT GOT PARTIALLY RECOGNIZED in the WPATH Standards of Care 8 (which FINALLY has people's voices from the community compared to the rubbish 2012 version), and it's still lacking to put it lightly, but obviously very much improved.

[chaoticag]

Landed me my first bigot. Someone on Reddit DMed me saying that I'm mentally ill and no matter what I'll be a man and etc. etc.

Mission failed, it was weirdly validating and I'm now feeling really happy that my existence upsets bigots.

You managed to upset an asshole by just existing congrats.

It's been green generally a great way for me to filter out folks not worth taking to for me. And I think it's a good sign that anti trans rhetoric seems to not be gaining as much traction as you'd expect as prominent transphobes have been showing their whole ass lately

[voliol]

Because wow there's some bits of that culture that make things so harsh that assimilation and its own culture is pretty much unseen in it. GLAD THAT GOT PARTIALLY RECOGNIZED in the WPATH Standards of Care 8 (which FINALLY has people's voices from the community compared to the rubbish 2012 version), and it's still lacking to put it lightly, but obviously very much improved.

Had not heard of WPATH before this, and have just looked it up. Chances are I'm taking this out of context due to not being a health care professional familiar with the lingo, but the following sentence found on their history and purpose page is something.

This version of the Standards of Care is the first to be developed using an evidence-based approach.

[Rolan7]

My dad and his wife came over to help me clean today and it was very nice.  Very... anxiety inducing, but it felt good to be on my toes and we were extremely productive.

Notably:
They were impressed at how much it *wasn't* a disaster.  I truly am doing better nowadays.

Towards the end I was on my side cleaning under a chair and I just sorta... relaxed for a few seconds.  Went limp, closed my eyes and took a sip of subspace.  It was lovely and rejuvenating, and my dad commented on it as what it was: Me being socially tired.  They'd both signaled they were also nearly done, but via more complex vocabulary cues.

Dad's wife poked me in the boob while complimenting my shirt.  I didn't visibly react, processed it later.  It's fine, it's fine.  It was just unexpected.  She's known me for a long time and that I don't like being touched.  But I think it's probably that thing where women are more touchy with each other.  That's probably it!  A friend agrees, that was probably it.
Or she was wondering where my (modest) chest went because I went braless to Thanksgiving, and was wearing one of my lovely amazing sports bras.
Did she feel the bra?  I don't think she did.  Why do I care, I'm out to her.  Well if I'm out to her, why doesn't she use my pronouns??  Because my dad doesn't.  this is stupid.
Bizarrely that... neurodivergence... is largely a distraction from a much more important idea I've been CAREFULLY mulling over for a couple weeks: whether I'm really NB.  I think I am, but I really really REALLY like my HRT (particularly at this effective level) and all the "unwomanly" traits I love about myself are traits I've also loved in women.  Women who I am not, generally, attracted to.  I might be straight-

I refuse to "become" a woman via HRT, that's stupid anime BS.  The true me is something I found through intense meditation and, primarily, dreams.  I may be genderfluid, but I don't think I'm binary.  I refuse to let hormones change me.  They only let me unlock my true potential.  I love my body, and I guide my body.  It mustn't guide me.

[Vector]

Dad's wife poked me in the boob while complimenting my shirt.  I didn't visibly react, processed it later.  It's fine, it's fine.  It was just unexpected.  She's known me for a long time and that I don't like being touched.  But I think it's probably that thing where women are more touchy with each other.  That's probably it!  A friend agrees, that was probably it.

Resident AFAB would like you to know that that's not "normal" female touchy-feeliness :I If you do that as a woman to another woman, either it's deliberate aggression, the equivalent to shoving a dude in the chest, or you apologize immediately. There's a lot of maneuvering done to make sure that tiddy awkwardness doesn't happen. The point is that I don't think it was a thoughtless accident.

I refuse to "become" a woman via HRT, that's stupid anime BS.  The true me is something I found through intense meditation and, primarily, dreams.  I may be genderfluid, but I don't think I'm binary.  I refuse to let hormones change me.  They only let me unlock my true potential.  I love my body, and I guide my body.  It mustn't guide me.

If it turns out that you're a trans woman who prefers men, it won't make you any less queer. Many people have taken this journey with highly variable results. The outcome can't really be predicted in its concrete details, nor controlled.

[Great Order]

My brain's doing the stupid thing I didn't think it'd do.

I've been on HRT, and a low dose at that, for less than a week. Obviously, I'm not seeing any results yet, but my brain is telling me that means I won't see any. I really fucking wish it wouldn't.

[Vector]

Take a selfie every day and focus on other aspects of your transition too :I

It's like being pregnant, there's not exactly immediate effects.

[Great Order]

Yeah, I know, it's just my brain (Or subconscious, or whatever it is) telling me lies. The issue is it's coming from inside my own head so it's much harder to ignore than if someone else was telling me.

[methylatedspirit]

First off: this thread has excellent gender, this'll go nicely in my entropy pool. Gendernoise here.

I'm gonna soapbox for this. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission, after all.

I feel that the thing that underpins a lot of shittiness w.r.t. people vs. LGBTQ+ subjects is the idea of mediation. The social constructs around us that say that it is not only possible, but that it's good to stuff the 'entropy of being' into neat little boxes. I believe it terrifies mediocre people when you show them trans people, Queerness, things 'acting weird', because it forces them to grapple with "error" states.

After all, glitch art is an inexorably transgender expression because it is that idea of deriving beauty from "error" states of (computational) systems, a reflection of how being trans is an evident "unaddressed" state of the systems of, and around gender. If you're in the business of packing chaos into semantic boxes, then we were not "meant" to happen, as much as glitches are not "meant" to happen.

I'm gonna say that the bullshit around gender is a situation vaguely similar what the recent Folding Ideas vid on Warcraft described. Bullshit around nonconformity is similar to how a player was shamed and bullied for doing something that a) is statistically insignificant, and b) literally meant nothing, because they're playing the wrong class for the stats to matter.

The actual things that do biologically matter if you are trans, nonbinary or just "different" are weaponized against you to enforce indefensible premises, because we're all stuck in the collective illusion.

Hell, it's not like mediation is necessarily a cishet-exclusive thing. I have fallen victim to this, as a trans entity myself. The urge to put things into boxes runs deep. Labels, for instance, can be oppressive when you say that certain features are label X, because it is that implicit usage of force to put people into boxes that only they should have the right to check in and out of. It's a consent failure.

People are way more entropic than the labels we can assign to them. People are not the boxes we airdrop on them. Everyone is the illusion of order constructed, brick by brick, out of chaos.

[alway]

As a graphics programmer, love me some good glitch art.
My two favorites were in Doom (2016) and Warframe, back when I was working on the Switch ports for those. The first was a really pretty bug with the virtual material system driving the texture streaming, which left everything textured in ultra-bright digital patterns, especially featuring the brilliant cyan of 0x5a5a5a5a interpreted as an R11G11B10. Not entirely dissimilar from my favorite jacket, which I bought afterwards, but if it were bright enough to oversaturate bloom https://liveheroes.com/en/product/show/199045
Or in Warframe, when I was attempting to cache out gpu state, but missed a bit of code, and so it took all the shaders and inputs in the scene and mixed them around in a way that was stable in a stable scene, but reshuffled how each object was drawn if any objects entered or left the scene. It was really pretty!

Glitches as gender thing or metaphor is quite good, and I do incorporate that into my personal aesthetic and presentation with the help of dataerase stuff (like that linked above) and my favorite purse, which is a lovely iridescent retroreflective material (which also acts in the infrared spectrum bathroom sink hand sensors operate in, causing them to sometimes go off one after the other if I walk past a line of them in a public restroom; love that).

[MrRoboto75]

I've always associated glitchiness with my neurodivergence.  Made me felt defective/broken from the norm.

[EuchreJack]

It's been my observation we're all broken people just trying to function as best as we're able.

[MrRoboto75]

It's been my observation we're all broken people just trying to function as best as we're able.

Guess everyone slightly needs a wheelchair as well?

[EuchreJack]

It's been my observation we're all broken people just trying to function as best as we're able.

Guess everyone slightly needs a wheelchair as well?

"Need" is a strong word. But who doesn't enjoy a chair with wheels?