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[IronyOwl]

Triumphant seems like a good choice.

+1

Not only did we win, we blitzed them down in one round and then Jameson dumpstered the straggler in one round again.

[Weirdsound]

Triumphant seems like a good choice.

You decide to just take the W, rather than dwell on any negative feelings that may have stemmed from your encounter with Ai and friends, and continue through the greenish-brown portal.

+Triumphant Memory



You find yourself in a large room with two Warp Distortions, aside from the one you just popped out of: an orange one to your northwest, and a blue one to your northeast. Directly in front of you is a massive computer setup with some familiar text on the screen.

Code: [Select]

Welcome to the Scholarship Station! To check your memories, please view your character sheet at: http://kotodes.wikidot.com/level-up-club-party

Course: Shop
Current Grade: C
Investment: 0/1, Accepts All Memories.
Special: You can invest two "Source of Wood" Raw materials in place of a memory. Reaching the grades of B and A+ will rank up your Artificer Class

Course: Literature
Current Grade: D+
Investment: 0/1, Accepts (H)eartfelt and (C)reative memories.
Special: Reaching the grades of B and A+ will rank up your Epic Bard Class

Course: Communications
Current Grade: D
Investment: 0/1, Accepts Co(L)laborative and (T)riumphant memories
Special: Reaching the grades of B and A+ will rank up your Salesman Class

Course: Life Sciences
Current Grade: D-
Investment: 0/1, Accepts Co(L)laborative and (F)rustrating memories
Special: Increasing your grade grants a Scroll of Dissection, which allows you to harvest extra resources from a fallen enemy

Course: Algebra 1
Current Grade: D-
Investment: 0/1, Accepts (B)urning and (F)rustrating memories
Special: Increasing your grade grants a Scroll of addition, which allows you to increase your next d20 roll by +3

Course: Physical Education
Current Grade: D-
Investment: 0/1, Accepts (B)urning and (T)riumphant memories
Special: Increasing your grade increases your max HP by 1d2

---

Unintelligent Party Member Detected! Custodian <Randy Jameson> may use the memories of subject <Jameson the Undead Minotuar> and resources from either party's inventory to tend to subject <Jameson the Undead Minotaur>'s growth and advancement.

Course: Monstrous Undead Class Advancement
Current Grade: Rank 1
Investment: 0/3, Accepts any memories. Any 1 'remains' raw material may be used in place of a memory.
Special: Meeting investment goal will cause Jameson to gain a rank in the Monstrous Undead Class.

Course: Jock Class Advancement
Current Grade: N/A
Investment: 0/1, Accepts the CD-A: Jock doodad.
Special: Meeting investment goal will cause Jameson to unlock the Jock class.

How do you proceed?

Assets by DALL-E and Midjourney.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

I feel like it wouldn't hurt to use that peg leg to invest in Jameson's Monstrous Undead class while we're here, though we'd need more investment to rank it up. We could also throw our recent Triumphant memory into Physical Education, which would help us on the path to becoming tankier. There's also the question of whether we want to jockify Jameson or save that for ourselves.

Feedback appreciated. If you have suggestions for alternate or further uses of memories, I'm all ears. Eyes?

[IronyOwl]

I feel like it wouldn't hurt to use that peg leg to invest in Jameson's Monstrous Undead class while we're here, though we'd need more investment to rank it up. We could also throw our recent Triumphant memory into Physical Education, which would help us on the path to becoming tankier. There's also the question of whether we want to jockify Jameson or save that for ourselves.

Feedback appreciated. If you have suggestions for alternate or further uses of memories, I'm all ears. Eyes?

I don't think it'd hurt but I don't think it'd help yet either, so probably better to hold onto it until we've got the full set. Which we do have, but I'm not sure if we wanna spend our current memories on this specifically.

It's also possible the type of materials/memories used will have an impact on how he levels, which would turn this from "whatever junk we don't need" to "carefully curated, hopefully." I'm not actually sure how we'd figure out which is true. Ask the voicey guy? Can we contact him at will?

No idea on the Jock CD. We probably want Jameson to be a jock more than ourselves, but that doesn't mean we don't want Jameson to be something else more or make something else a jock more.


Dump our (F)rustrating memory into Life Sciences and then move to the... uh... left portal! I am positive that's where we want to go.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Ask the voicey guy?

AKA Mr. Levy, but yeah.
+1 to heading left, after whatever else we decide to do here.

[King Zultan]

Ask the voicey guy?

AKA Mr. Levy, but yeah.
+1 to heading left, after whatever else we decide to do here.

+1

[Weirdsound]

+1 to heading left, after whatever else we decide to do here.

You briefly consider investing in your education... or in Jameson's, but decide to hold off for now. Instead you enter the orange portal to your left.



...Only to find yourself back in the entrance room.

"Lost and confused, human? I sell divination services that can help with that, you know."

Spoiler: Shop (click to show/hide)

Pouch of Steel Throwing Stars - 2 Dub
Bright Yellow Latex Suit - 3 Dub
Staple Gun - 1 Dub

Box Labled ‘4 Sneaky Potions that Dungeon Bosses Hate’ - 5 Dub
Tank of exotic colored Koi Fish - 1 Dub per Koi (Pick a Color and pattern)

Spoiler: Crafting (click to show/hide)

A Standard GGBMWP Convenience Fee of 1 Dub will be assessed for each crafting project completed.

Inert Memory Gem - 1 Mini-Boss Heart + Any Two Memories. While in your inventory, an Inert Memory Gem will consume the first memory of each type that you gain while holding it. It will become an Active Memory Gem, which is necessary to make a level up key, once it consumes each of the following memory types: Triumphant, Colaborative, Heartfelt, Burning, Creative, and Frustrating.

Level 15 Key - 1 Active Memory Gem + 1 Source of Metal + 1 Source of Any Magic + 1 Triumphant Memory. Used by a level 14 human on a locked door in the Dungeon of Displaced Time to access a level up room.

NPC Level-Up Key - 1 Active Memory Gem + 1 Source of Metal + Any 3 memories of the same type. Used by an NPC Party Member to access a level up room. The Memories and Metal Source used in crafting will determine which sort of dungeon the key will work in.

x3 Healing Potions - 1 Heartfelt Memory + 2 Sources of Any Magic. Healing Potions restore 3d8 When Consumed. They may have other side effects, for good or ill, depending on the magic source used in crafting.

x2 Guild Approved Identify Scrolls - Any Memory + 2 Sources of Any Magic. Consumable item that can identify anything not sold by a GGBMWP merchant.

Golem Minion - Any Three Memories + 2 Sources of Any Metal + 2 Sources of Decrotive Minerals + 1 Source of Any Magic. A party member of your own creation. Its form and abilities vary based on the materials and memories used in its creation.

Blessing of the Goblin Pantheon - 1 Burning or Frustrating Memory + 2 Sources of Unholy Magic. Upgrade applied to any item of your choosing, the exact details of which depend on the materials and memories used. The Goblin Pantheon is less than benevolent, so items blessed this way may gain minor negitive side effects, or abilities which specifically encourage immoral behavior.

Spoiler: Divination (click to show/hide)

Statblock of a Local Ranged Dweller Archtype - 2 Dub
Statblock of a Local Melee Dweller Archtype - 2 Dub
Statblock of an expendable mini-boss’ minion - 2 Dub
Statblock of a potential friend turned rival - 3 Dub
Statblock of a mad scientist with dinner plans - 4 Dub
Statblock of a skulking threat - 4 Dub

Item Identification Service - 2 Dub per item. Will not identify items sold by GGBMWP Members. Truly rare or powerful items may require an additional fee to fully identify.

Navigation Advice - 2 Dub minimum. The overflow bin is a maze of teleporters. If you are looking specifically for anything or anyone, I can point you in the right direction for a fee.

Spoiler: Quest (click to show/hide)

Price Controls - 3 Dub Buy-in. A powerful Bugbear crime lord named Pal-Oof has been smuggling goblinoid goods to earth and undercutting the guild by selling them at below our mandatory minimum price point. We will sell you information on the backdoor to his base of operations; Rob him blind as you see fit, and if you manage to kill him, return his head to any guild member for an extra reward.

How do you proceed?

Assets by DALL-E, Midjourney, or otherwise found via creative commons image search. Character Sheet.

[King Zultan]

I kind of think we should get the staple gun since we lack ranged weapons, it's better to have something than nothing.

[IronyOwl]

I'm not so sure, but a staple gun is probably also a tool and we won't be cursed by this dumb crown forever.

+1 to staple gun, then back through orange portal and through teal one instead.

[Weirdsound]

I'm not so sure, but a staple gun is probably also a tool and we won't be cursed by this dumb crown forever.

+1 to staple gun, then back through orange portal and through teal one instead.

You produce a Dubloon.

I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going, actually. I do have some extra coin burning a hole in my pocket though. How about I buy that staple gun.

Ishtar takes the Dubloon, and rifles through her belongings to find the purchased item before handing it over.



"A wise purchase. It may not look exactly like one of your cheesy mass produced human staple tools, but it should function just the same - if not better. Assuming its not cursed of course... hehehe."

+Staple Gun
-1 Dubloon

Well... thanks. That fills me with confidence. Lets go try that other portal Jameson.

With your faithful pet at your side, you pass through the orange portal once more, and cross the scholarship room towards and eventually through the teal warp distortion...





You find yourself in a new room. Two warp distortions lie to your north; Both are maroon in color, but each is a slightly different shade.

The floor to your west glows a bright blue. Three glowing-eyed dwellers stand completely frozen on this patch of ground, as if they are in some sort of stasis.

Between the blue stasis-floor and the warp distortions there is a computer station. A large individual with thick green fur and a lab coat is working at the computer. Before you can decide how to proceed, this creature at the computer sniffs the air, and turns to face you. Looking at his face, you are pretty sure this person is a bugbear, and he is quick to confirm this suspicion when he opens his mouth.

"Ya can move along, human. The great Doctor Bugbearstien has already procured these three dwellers. My boys back home are working on a setup to revive them. Once I dun finish wiring this Heartstation to function as a teleporter, I can abscond with me prize and torture them to death as many times as I wish. I'll never have to hunt again, boy! ...So yeah. Move along. I'd rather not fight you and risk everything now."

He sniffs the air again.

"Hell, I'm in such a good mood, I'll even do ya a favor and take care o' those cursed items you guys are stuck with. Whatcha say! Twill only hurt a little bit!"

How do you proceed?

[IronyOwl]

Well this is awkward.

We probably don't want him torturing Dwellers for all eternity, but it's not exactly our fight. Dwellers seem to like us when we like them, but at least one gaggle wasn't fond of those from rival cliques.

We... probably want him to slurp the crown right off our head? And the mace out of Jameson's hand? I think? We'd need some kind of insurance policy against him twisting our head off, but I believe "loyal undead minotaur" is a bugbear-accepted insurance provider.

Actually, let's start with some small talk on the matter.


Ask him if he can identify what the curses on items do.

[Weirdsound]

Ask him if he can identify what the curses on items do.

I was considering dealing with those curses eventually. Do you happen to know what they do?

"Heh. Most o' my ilk be too stupid to answer that question. They see curse and they eat curse but that's it, eh? But I, the Great Doctor Bugbearstien, understand curses in more than just the mere gastrological sense! Let me have a looksee..."

The Bugbear scientist approaches Jameson and sniffs the mace.

"Ah... this be one of them transformation curses those self-righteous lesser goblins in the guild pedal. The mace will transmute anything you kill or destroy with it, as well as any loot said victim carries, into something else. *sniff* Some kind of bone I think. Popular, and actually pretty useful in the dungeons around here. Kill a dweller with something like that, and the fucker probably doesn't get to come back. Makes fer a good threat if you can't inflict fates worse than death like I can. I'd... umm... still recomend letting me eat it, o'course. Undead shouldn't... umm... hold cursed items. Its... umm... bad for their unhealth. Yeah."

You get the distinct feeling that you suddenly have more leverage in these negotiations than the not-so-good doctor would like you to. Nonetheless, the bugbear moves on to examine the crown on your head.

"Oooooh. We caught a two-way curse here! One metaphysical side of this crown holds a terrifying being inside. The other side holds it to some unwitting mortal's head. The stronger being of the pair controls whatever non-cursed powers the crown has, and can fuck around with the weaker mind. Surely you want me ta get rid of something nasty like that, right?"

"No you don't, mortal. I can see your thoughts. You salivating at the thought of negotiating with me once I figure out my design! I AM MALCANTHET! QUEEN OF THE SUCCUBI... probably. Whatever inconvenience I may be in the short run is surely worth my favor in the future! Come, let us kill this fool while is back is turned to deal with Jameson's mace. He likely has good loot! I'll let you use your artificer powers for the fight! And briefly afterwards as well if you want to figure out how to undo the stasis and save those other foolish children!"

It looks like you have leverage over both the crown and the bugbear right now. How do you proceed?



Assets by DALL-E and Midjourney. Character Sheet.

[ZBridges]

I think we should just let it have the crown, but it looks like at least one of the children belongs to the Rasputin Society.

[IronyOwl]

Crap, he does look emo. He's not one of the tablemates we're familiar with, though.

Crown is correct that it's a far more interesting deal, but its response to all of our negotiating so far has been "Nah."

Unsure where to go with this one.

[King Zultan]

I say we let him eat the crown.