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[Weirdsound]

Lets go kick that mini-bosses ass!

Emboldened by your descisive victory over the Imphants, you exit the area through the shed, walk back down the hall to the control room, and hit the button for floor 5. As usual the door briefly seals, the room briefly shakes, and the colors on the elevator control panel change.

Floor 1 -----> Basic Dungeon Tutorial
Floor 2 -----> Combat Tutorial
Floor 3 -----> Scholarship Tutorial
Floor 4 -----> Introduction to Friendly NPC Archtypes
Floor 5 -----> Introduction to Common Mini-Boss Archtypes
Floor 6 -----> Lock and Key Tutorial, Exit

You exit the control room, walk down yet another new hallway, and emerge into yet another industrial looking new room.

To your east are three frightening looking creatures, each contained in a stasis cage. Unlike the cages in the friendly NPC room, these ones pulse sickly shades of green and purple.

To your west is a large and noise piece of machinery behind a thick pane of glass. Up against your side of the glass are three large, conspicuous, and identical red buttons.



You keep calm and wait for Mr. Levy to pop up via intercom to explain the situation. The wait is not long.

"Bet you are spoiling for another fight after your epic victory in last room, hmmmmmm? Mini-bosses are particularly dangerous creatures that roam most dungeons. The ones in this room have been weakened by toxic stasis cages, so you'll have a fighting chance, but usually trying to 1v1 a Mini-boss in a fair fight is a fools errand. With that in mind, I will now teach you about the three common flavors, or archtypes, of mini-boss that you will encounter most often. Think of this lecture as the how and why of them trying to kill you."

"In the northernmost cage, to be released by the northernmost button, we have an Incubus. Incubi and Succubi are fiends that wield potent magic. Said magic honestly makes them the most difficult of the mini-boss archtypes in a fair fight. Luckily, for you at least, such fiends are the easiest mini-bosses to avoid fighting; Cosmic bylaws forbid them from using their... preferred feeding methods... on humans until they hit level or age 18. So unless you are traveling with a fully mature party member, or the fiend has an objective to guard, you can usually stroll past an Incubus without a fight."

"The most straightforward mini-boss archtype is the Bugbear, and we've procured one for you in the center cage. Some might have a few spells or tricky abilities, but usually they just prefer to get up in your face and hit you hard. Bugbears feed on vile magic, which they can generate by inflicting pain upon others. Luckily a Bugbear's gluttony usually comes second to its sloth; If you offer a Bugbear a cursed item it can feed off of without having to put in the effort of hurting someone, there is a good chance it will leave you be."

"Last, and perhaps most dangerous in the wild, is the Wyrmling in the southernmost cage. A dragon's courage and honor typically scales directly with its size. A young dragon, or an individual belonging to a smaller species, is a cunning coward skulking around the dungeon for meat and treasure. They stalk adventure parties, and attack when the quarry is weak or preoccupied. It would behoove you to learn the signs of a Wyrmling stalking: dragon shaped footprints, dragon shaped shadows, piles of colorful scales, and treasures guarded by elemental flavored traps. If caught before they pounce, most wyrmlings will talk a big game but flee once once you show that you can defend yourself."

"Do note that just because you can avoid a fight with a mini-boss doesn't always mean that you should. The rewards for killing such a creature are typically worth while. Of course, the choice is yours. As for here and now, you only need to press one of the
three red buttons to complete this lesson and unlock the final floor of the tutorial dungeon, mmmmmkay?"

The PA system falls silent, leaving you once more alone with your thoughts... and a sudden revelation; You have no clue how you can tell this while the bastard is in stasis, but you get the distinct feeling that the Bugbear in the center cage might be interested in an item in your inventory. Could this be the sense customer ability on your character sheet kicking in?

What do you do?

Assets by DALL-E.

[King Zultan]

From the sound of that last bit we have a cursed item, I think it might be the skull.

I say we release the bugbear, and give it the skull.

[Maximum Spin]

Theologize the incubus first.

[Weirdsound]

Theologize the incubus first.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'll just throw this in without a proper vote because you are not under any IC time constraints and it doesn't cost you anything

You approach the northernmost stasis cage and give the inhabitant a good looking over.



Two conclusions quickly jump into your head, as you gain a solid understanding of the creature. First you note that it is far more dangerous than the Impfants. Secondly its name is stooooooopid.

"Pinkubus?!?! Pfffffffft.... Hahahaahahahahaha! Ahhh... Okay. Okay. Take it seriously Randy. This guy can hit hard, and give me debuffs I don't even understand. If I fight him, I'll likely need to burn some of my own spells to either outlast him or beat him quick."

How do you proceed?

[ZBridges]

Release the bugbear and see what it will offer for the item it's interested in.

[Counterfactual]

Release the bugbear and see what it will offer for the item it's interested in.

+1 - but before doing so, switch to wielding your walking stick and cast Animate Tool on your machete in case things turn ugly.

[Weirdsound]

From the sound of that last bit we have a cursed item, I think it might be the skull.

I say we release the bugbear, and give it the skull.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'll add this old vote in cuz I kind of messed it up with the Theology post.

Deciding to test your metal as a merchant, you walk back to the the buttons, and press the one in the middle. The stasis cage around the bugbear vanishes and the creature stumbles to the ground panting in exhaustion. It spends a few seconds struggling to one knee before it even notices you, holding out the skull in your outstretched hand.



"Oh great. The fokking tutorial dungeon innit? So this is how I kark it then? Too hungry to fokking ingore ya, and too weak to fokking beat ya? Dafokk ya expect me ta do with that skull lad? I'm a fokking Bugbear. I feast on darkness and despair, not fokking bone broth."

The Bugbear struggles back to its feet. Claws extend from its knuckles like something out of a comic book.

"Still, I suppose I'm fokking lucky to get a bastard daft enough to think he can reason with my ilk. Eh? And your not half unlucky yourself lad, to catch me in ta rare fokking state where I might actually be reasonable. High Corporal Dresh Skinflayer, at yer fokking service. Why don't ya give me yer name lad, and a good reason as to why we don't got ta try and off each other while you are at it."

(Hmmm.... This Bugbear is six tiles away. Just out of range of most of the tricks and abilities on my character sheet. He seems willing to negotiate, but uninterested in the skull. How should I respond to Corporal Skinflayer?)

Resources by DALL-E. Shout out to Counterfactual for coming up with good ideas on a game too unpopular for people to show up and +1 em. I've been there.

[ZBridges]

What would we gain by negotiating and letting him go?  Maybe we should've just committed to killing him.  (This is not a vote or a formal suggestion.)

[King Zultan]

Maybe we can make friends or something.

Why don't we hold out various unidentified items from our inventory and see which one it gets interested in.

[IronyOwl]

What would we gain by negotiating and letting him go?  Maybe we should've just committed to killing him.  (This is not a vote or a formal suggestion.)

Probably nothing, yeah. But I'm more curious than eager for parts, and figuring out how negotiations can/do go sounds like a good thing to get early.

...actually, it'll probably give different memory types than just clubbing him too. That might be worth something.

Why don't we hold out various unidentified items from our inventory and see which one it gets interested in.

+1, and supply "because I think I have something of interest to you" so he doesn't get bored and hungry midway through cycling through them.

Of course, there's no guarantee he'll recognize the item he wants any better than we will, which would be... awkward.

[ZBridges]

I'll +1 to telling him we have something he wants.

[Weirdsound]

Why don't we hold out various unidentified items from our inventory and see which one it gets interested in.

+1, and supply "because I think I have something of interest to you" so he doesn't get bored and hungry midway through cycling through them.

I'm Randy Jameson...

You hold up your walking stick in one hand, and your trowel in the other. High Corporal Skinflayer stares blankly and offers no response. You toss the unwanted tools and set about digging your next offerings out of your backpack.

...And I think I have something of interest to you.

You produce the Handy Key and the Brass Oil lamp. The Bugbear's eyes light up.

"Aye, kiddo. It looks like ya do. That there genie bottle is fokking cursed. Looks fokking tasty it does. It'd probably pull some fokking Monkey's Paw trickery on ya if ye tried to use it. But that sorta 'fokk with the stupid humans' sort of magic is like a TV dinner to my ilk. Easy fokking meal for a lazy fokking bastard. Hand it over, and we can both save the fokking trouble of me having ta bleed ya for your screams."

The hairy beast tries to take a step toward you, but stumbles, and barely avoids falling.

"Fokk. That stasis cage messed up me leg good. I suppose yer life isn't a fair fokking asking price when I can't be certain I'd win a duel ta da death in me current state. How bouts I sweeten the fokking pot a bit eh?"

The creature retracts its claws, reaches into its thick fur, and produces a small metal talisman attached to a colorful ribbon. High Corporal Skinflayer mimics your item presentation stance, and holds the object out to you.



"This looks fokking pretty, no? Its a mark that shows the favor of the Great Goblinoid Khanum. I wont tell ya exactly what it is good for until we close the fokking deal. Consider ta info part of the package. But I can promise it will be fokking useful to a brat like you looking to start a career in adventure. Whatcah say? We swap shinnies, and both walk out of this gods forsaken dungeon alive?"

Do you accept the offer?

Assets by both Midjourney and DALL-E. Character Sheet.

[ZBridges]

Accept.

[King Zultan]

Accept

[Weirdsound]

Accept.

Sounds like a good deal to me. Lets make it happen!

The Bugbear gingerly limps over to you, takes the lamp, and places the talisman in your hand.

-Unidentified Brass Oil Lamp
+Mark of the Goblinoid Khanum

"Listen close, kiddo. I'm only gonna fokking explain this once. Although 'er rule is decentralized and her appearances rare, the Great Khanum is the rightful ruler of ever fokking goblin and bugbear ya likely ta meet in a dungeon accessible from your dainty human world. She gives these out to 'er most important followers: hags, demons, bugbears of greater fokking importance than meself, and the like. Me grandpappy left this one ta me in his will. If ya flash it to a low ranking Bugbear or one of those scummy Goblin merchants who like ta pretend at being a human's friend, they will be obligated to leave ya be, and even make a small donation to yer cause."

The hairy beast scratches his nose, and eyes the lamp in his hands before continuing.

"Now they say it does have some slight magic protections against ta wrong person using it. It will supposedly vanish at some point if used by somebody who didn't fokking receive it from ta Khanum 'erself. I don't know the exact mechanics o' how dat works, so don't count on it lasting forever, lad."

With that, High Corporal Dresh Skinflayer limps away to the corner of the room, where he proceeds to lean against the wall and suckle the oil lamp like it was a bottle of water.



Two Mini-Bosses remain in stasis, but as far as you can tell, you don't have to bother with them. How do you proceed?

Assets by Dall-E