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[IronyOwl]

Well we can't get within range to whack the baddies. So we should move forward 3 spaces (the max allowed by our current movespeed) and take a pot shot at the roachpire with our staple gun. We should have just enough range on the gun to do that, plus now we get to see what it does.

+1

[Weirdsound]

Well we can't get within range to whack the baddies. So we should move forward 3 spaces (the max allowed by our current movespeed) and take a pot shot at the roachpire with our staple gun. We should have just enough range on the gun to do that, plus now we get to see what it does.

You draw your staple gun.



Feeling badass with your new weapon in hand, you aim at the remaining roach, and pull the trigger.

To Hit: 7 + 4 = 11

The projectile goes wide of its intended target.

Gray blasts at the remaining roachpire, and Diode meanders forward to throw a punch at the same target.

Jameson and the Machete focus their efforts on the mantis!

Gray's Eldritch Lash to Hit: 13 + 7 = 20
Eldritch Lance Damage: 8

Diode PAUNCH to Hit: 10 + 3 = 13

Horn Attack to Hit: 3 + 5 = 7

Machete Chop: 9 + 7 - 5 = 11
Damage: 2 + 2 = 4

Gray's cantrip hits home and hits hard, crushing and splattering the bug. Diode aproaches to follow up, but upon realizing the target is already neutralized, delivers an adorable mock-punch to the roach's remains instead of a full on attack.

The Mantis raises its arms, dragging the Machete up towards its terrifying mouth-bits to deliver a massive bite.

The Machete is hit once, and resists the attack, only taking 6 damage!

The large bug seems designed to tear apart foes once it gets its claws on them. The Machete has no realistic opprotunity to avoid the attack, which would have been more than enough to destroy it had it not resisted melee damage.



How do you proceed?

Assets by DALL-E, Midjourney, and Playground AI. Character Sheet. Minimap.

[King Zultan]

Lets move up some more and shoot that mantis with the staple gun.

I spent 30 minutes dicking around with this, and couldn't find a host that works. Any suggestions?

I use Imgbb for my avatar.

[IronyOwl]

If the machete is in danger of being destroyed, we should probably cast Assemble on the machete instead of plinking away with our 1 damage gun.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

If the machete is in danger of being destroyed, we should probably cast Assemble on the machete instead of plinking away with our 1 damage gun.

+1
Yeah the machete's taken 9/12 damage so far. It's in bad straits.

[Weirdsound]

If the machete is in danger of being destroyed, we should probably cast Assemble on the machete instead of plinking away with our 1 damage gun.

You extend your arm towards the floating machete. The cracks and chinks in the metal begin to mend themselves until...

2 + 4 + 4 + 3 + 4 + 1 = 18

...Your Machete is restored to full health.

Your underlings then turn their attacks on the sole remaining enemy. Gray once more launches an Eldritch Lash cantrip. Everyone else goes for a melee attack.

Eldritch Lash to Hit: 8 + 7 = 15
Damage: 5

Horn Attack to Hit: 19 + 5 = 24
Damage: 3 + 1 = 4

Diode PAUNCH: 15 + 3 = 18
Damage: 2 + 1 = 3

Machete Chop: 8 + 7 - 5 = 10

The attacks batter the insect to the point where it can barely stand. Only the Machete, grabbed and pinned down by the enemy, fails to hit it.

The Mantis moves to bite the machete again!

The Machete is hit once, and resists the attack, only taking 3 damage!

This time the Mantis' mouthparts don't do quite as much harm to your weapon.



FINISH HIM!

Assets by DALL-E, Midjourney, and Playground AI. Character Sheet. Minimap.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

...it looks like we can actually finish it off ourselves, if our minions don't get to it first - let's go in and give it a caning.

[ZBridges]

...it looks like we can actually finish it off ourselves, if our minions don't get to it first - let's go in and give it a caning.

+1

[IronyOwl]

...it looks like we can actually finish it off ourselves, if our minions don't get to it first - let's go in and give it a caning.

+1

+1

And make it flashy! We're not a bard for nothing.

[Weirdsound]

...it looks like we can actually finish it off ourselves, if our minions don't get to it first - let's go in and give it a caning.

You walk up to the giant blue bug and swing your walking stick...

Walking Stick to Hit: !!20!! + 2 = Critical Hit Baybay!!!
Damage: 4 + 1 = 5

...And your attack crushes the Mantis' head, killing it instantly! With combat over, your machete de-animates and falls to the ground.

Gray starts making a beeline toward the pile of loot on the ground.



How do you proceed?

Assets by DALL-E, Midjourney, and Playground AI. Character Sheet. Minimap.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Pick our machete back up and also run for the loot.

[IronyOwl]

Pick our machete back up and also run for the loot.

+1

[Weirdsound]

Oh. I forgot to mention.

+Triumphant Memory for each party member

Pick our machete back up and also run for the loot.

You scoop up the machete and turn to check out the pile of junk.



There is a decent amount of gold, metallic scrap, and debit cards scattered around the floor here, all of which magically consolidates into Dubloons as soon as you consider collecting it. You note Gray helping themselves to a decent sized serrated knife off the ground.

"I don't have a melee weapon, so I'll be taking this. Aside from stuff I really need, however, I'll leave the treasure for you in this dungeon; You are in this damn place as a favor to me, after all. But we will have to sit down at some point, and discuss how to fairly divvy up loot on our future adventures."

+Unidentified Serrated Knife for Gray

+3 Pieces of Dungeon Rubble
+5 Dubloons
+Unidentified Magnifying Glass
+CDA: Assassin
+Unidentified "Identify" Scroll



How do you proceed?

Assets by DALL-E, Midjourney, and Playground AI. Character Sheet. Minimap.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Look at the rubble through the magnifying glass, maybe it does something? After that, exit the room and take stock of where else we can go.

[IronyOwl]

I believe you're forgetting to harvest bug corpses for delicious drugs.

"I don't have a melee weapon, so I'll be taking this. Aside from stuff I really need, however, I'll leave the treasure for you in this dungeon; You are in this damn place as a favor to me, after all. But we will have to sit down at some point, and discuss how to fairly divvy up loot on our future adventures."

I guess we shouldn't claim to own Gray like we do our other minions...

Still. We are clearly the powerhouse in this relationship!