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Author Topic: Epic Failures  (Read 19857 times)

Astus Ater

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #120 on: August 26, 2008, 03:42:17 am »

Think that helps in the "epic failure" area.
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Neoskel

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #121 on: August 26, 2008, 09:37:35 pm »

What did he use to draw back the arrow, his mouth?

That would actually be a pretty funny picture. Someone contact an artist. xD

Nah, i think he'd use his feet like the scorpion archer guys in Age of Conan (i only know from concept art). He'd have to do a head stand or something to do it though.
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Astus Ater

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #122 on: August 26, 2008, 10:02:31 pm »

Or he could be all matrix-stlye and do it while jumping. Too bad the next human he fought kiled him.

Something else about him I find hilarious; He married in 15, but didn't start having children until after the "accident", at which point he had 10 children pop out before he died.
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Victim:  "Well, if you say so." *thud*

Bingbing

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #123 on: August 27, 2008, 07:00:55 pm »

I actually had a super-adventurer that, as I said in the "How to start in adventurer mode" topic, killed a pack of wolves before the game let me move, swam in the ocean for about 5 days total, and spent one day near a zombie groundhog, half spent strangling it, half spent lying down and laughing at it's feeble attempts to push me to death. I decided to walk into Yawningtold with exceptional iron equipment, with about 5 pikemen backing me up, along with two macemen, a swordsman, and two crossbowmen. And an prisoner elf I had set free from a keep that had just emptied of citizens who was also badass (checking with companion, she had maxed stats and 16 wrestling!). After I had ran through a neighboring town though, it was down to one crossbowman, one maceman, the swordsman, and about three pikemen. The elf got shot in the chest and so I killed her because anyone not smart or fast enough to dodge a bolt shouldn't live anyways.

The companions living pincushions were killed by a joke adventurer with no skills or stats at ALL. Who I named Rincewind. He ended up with a last name and title from that, and is now Rincewind Inkjoke the Defender of Sense.

Meanwhile, I went off to go kill my most powerful adventurer, Doom Necroscaped. I was then dealt a mortal wound by Lucas before I even saw Doom and his masterwork iron sword. Then my not-yet-dead corpse was beaten up a little by him and Ninten, with the latter dealing the last blow before I bled to death, and thus he got the credit for the kill.

Also, it's been six years since when he killed my first good adventurer and he's STILL THREE.
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Jetman123

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #124 on: August 28, 2008, 08:41:22 am »

The elf got shot in the chest and so I killed her because anyone not smart or fast enough to dodge a bolt shouldn't live anyways.

The companions living pincushions were killed by a joke adventurer with no skills or stats at ALL. Who I named Rincewind. He ended up with a last name and title from that, and is now Rincewind Inkjoke the Defender of Sense.

He was the Defender of Sense because he killed an elf. :D Who are inherently senseless and insane.
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Bingbing

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #125 on: August 28, 2008, 10:03:34 am »

Actually, Rincewind didn't get to the elf. He was in Yawningtold. On the other hand, his last name and title still reeks of Rincewind type luck.
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Beware. Not of the E, or of the U, or even of the &, @, and b. Beware the #.<BR>(Translation:) Beware. Not of the elephants, or of the unicorns, or even the demons, carp, and badgers. Beware the husks, for they are relentless, corrupting, and unstoppable. Only the might of hell itself can even keep it in check; and only for a small period of time. If one sees such a being; run away, unless you like the idea of joining their ranks.

ILikePie

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #126 on: August 28, 2008, 10:20:58 am »

This is more of the game failing than me:

I was walking around a town speaking to people, they all told me the "give yourself to Aba" crap. Later, when my guy died I thought I must find out who Aba is. (Those people were really annoying and Aba is the Hebrew word for dad ) So I check the legends screen and it says "Aba was a deity that occurs in the myths of the Empire of Rays. Aba was most often depicted as a FEMALE"
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TheSpaceMan

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #127 on: August 28, 2008, 10:35:25 am »

This is more of the game failing than me:

I was walking around a town speaking to people, they all told me the "give yourself to Aba" crap. Later, when my guy died I thought I must find out who Aba is. (Those people were really annoying and Aba is the Hebrew word for dad ) So I check the legends screen and it says "Aba was a deity that occurs in the myths of the Empire of Rays. Aba was most often depicted as a FEMALE"

Dad in a dress? Mom with a beard?
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Astus Ater

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #128 on: August 28, 2008, 01:58:34 pm »

This is more of the game failing than me:



Wait, how is it that the game epic failed? Its not using hebrew, so would that still be your epic fail?
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Legendary Liar:  "I just stabbed you and you died.  Sorry."
Victim:  "Well, if you say so." *thud*

Deon

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #129 on: August 28, 2008, 03:42:01 pm »

Or he could be all matrix-stlye and do it while jumping. Too bad the next human he fought kiled him.

Something else about him I find hilarious; He married in 15, but didn't start having children until after the "accident", at which point he had 10 children pop out before he died.
Rather logical. He has lost his arms. He switched from his hands to women. I mean, no more treehugging in the night and such.
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LegacyCWAL

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #130 on: August 28, 2008, 04:01:22 pm »

That is a mental image I did NOT need.
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Jetman123

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #131 on: August 29, 2008, 02:02:13 am »

He couldn't do anything but procreate after the "accident". What else was he supposed to do? he still had a functional abdomen. :D
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Astus Ater

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #132 on: August 29, 2008, 02:53:09 am »

He couldn't do anything but procreate after the "accident". What else was he supposed to do? he still had a functional abdomen. :D

Huh, I just had a thought that perhaps he didn't use a bow to shoot and kill.

OH GOD MY EYES!
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i2amroy

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #133 on: August 30, 2008, 10:53:23 am »

One time I took a fancy to this one human swordsmaster's armor in one of my games. This was bout my fifth village that I was killing, so I just attacked him. He killed me by chopping of one of my legs, then the other, then one of my arms, then the other, and then finally beheading me. So I decided I would start another adventurer and go kill him, he killed me again... in the same way. He killed about 25 adventurers in this method, so that whenever he would first see you he would yell at you for forever, and then kill you with limbs and heads flying all over the tavern he was in.
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IndonesiaWarMinister

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #134 on: August 31, 2008, 02:05:16 am »

One time I took a fancy to this one human swordsmaster's armor in one of my games. This was bout my fifth village that I was killing, so I just attacked him. He killed me by chopping of one of my legs, then the other, then one of my arms, then the other, and then finally beheading me. So I decided I would start another adventurer and go kill him, he killed me again... in the same way. He killed about 25 adventurers in this method, so that whenever he would first see you he would yell at you for forever, and then kill you with limbs and heads flying all over the tavern he was in.

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