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Author Topic: Epic Failures  (Read 19873 times)

Tiler

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #75 on: July 16, 2008, 01:45:50 pm »

Nope, I couldn't travel while swimming.  It told me so!  :(

You know to get out of a river, you need to use alt-move, right? Just checking.
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smeej

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #76 on: July 16, 2008, 02:15:49 pm »

I don't think you can actually alt-move out of rivers. At least, it's never worked for me.
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IT'S A SAD THING THAT YOUR ADVENTURES HAVE ENDED HERE!!

Kagus

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #77 on: July 16, 2008, 02:27:43 pm »

You need a water level of 7/7, you need to be swimming rather than drowning, and you need a river wall that is on your level, not the one above it.

Meikai apparently found one of the many rivers that have a double-tall wall.  You need to jump off the edge of a small cliff in order to get in, and once you're in you can't get out.

However, since it was near an ocean, there was the possibility of swimming down to the beach and getting up on the sand.

LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #78 on: July 16, 2008, 05:27:58 pm »

Quote
The Black Bear bites You in the left upper leg!
It is badly ripped!
The Black Bear latches on firmly!
The Black Bear vomits.
The Black Bear shakes You around by the left upper leg!
A chunk is torn away!

This is beautiful. The bear bit you and while holding on immediately vomited into the wound. It then bit the vomity chunk out. Epic win.
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The Expedition Map
Basement Stuck
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Haunter of Birthday Cakes, Bearded Hamburger, Intensely Off-Topic

Neoskel

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #79 on: July 16, 2008, 09:37:30 pm »

I don't think you can actually alt-move out of rivers. At least, it's never worked for me.

Sometimes theres a tree in the way, somethimes the current is pushing you and you need to alt-move to another river square and try again.
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Urist Mcsurvivalist has been accosted by edible vermin lately.

Goblins: The fourth iron ore.

celestial_okami

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #80 on: July 17, 2008, 05:02:43 am »

I notice you were knocked down by the jaguar but didn't stand up.

So a word to the wise: ALWAYS stand up, even if it means being hit again.  You lose a lot of speed if you don't, so unless you think you can take down your opponent with your next shot or desperately need to dish out some wound penalties don't just lie there on the floor.
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DEEP CROW!  OH NOOOOO!  DEEP CROOOOOOW!

muwahahaha

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #81 on: July 17, 2008, 08:00:41 am »

Woo! Failures!

Anyway, I made a race of fliers for adventure mode just for something new and after slaughtering my 1000th wolf/cougar/human child I figured I might take on a demon.

I head to the nearest goblin fort and proceed to make my way around the outside killing all who got in my way (which meant a disturbingly large number of dwarven children). After mopping the floor with the civvies and guards I find my way to the tower and begin to fly up the outside, not wanting to take the tedious path of the stairs etc. Unfortunately, the demon was waiting for me up top.
 The (short) battle went something like this:

(demon) says: I am (demon), prepare to die (yawn)

You are struck by a ball of flames!
Your left upper arm is partially incinerated!
Your lower body is cracked by the heat!
Your right lower arm is cracked by the heat!
Your upper body is cracked by the heat!
Your right upper arm is cracked by the heat!
Your right wing is incinerated!
You have collided with an obstacle!
(2 pages of my random body parts being destroyed)
You have died after colliding with an obstacle.

You are dead
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Loctavus

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #82 on: July 17, 2008, 11:11:17 am »

I decided to expand my magma resevoir to accomodate two more smelters.

You know where this is going don't you.

I accidentally channelled around the stone wall I'd placed to plug the chamber after I'd finished building the entire lava tunnel network. This was connected to my central staircase by four squares of tunnel. The stairwell to the bottom of nowhere quickly filled up, toasting two dwarves, then it finally overflowed. The first place it had to overflow into was my main bedchamber. Every bed I owned and twenty dwarves currently using them all went up in smoke. The mine shaft network on the layer above prevented it flowing any higher, but everyone socalising on the top level had either lost friends or were choking on smoke. Some idiot had also stuffed my finished goods bin with burning trousers so those were all on fire, choking more people with smoke. My sheriff chose this point to start going beserk in his room off the lava flooded bedchambers, so I had him remove his door.

I was -this- close to finally making steel, I never did manage to get that together. If it wasn't flux I was missing it was iron ore, or something else happened. Gah.

I think I had better refine my lava-smelter setup.
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Tea and -Elf Tallow Biscuits- anyone?

Bingbing

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #83 on: July 20, 2008, 07:05:14 pm »

Ha! I had an adventurer who was destroying every single person in Yawningtold, capital of the Hermitic Confederation, the largest human empire in the world. Even the archers couldn't stop my adventurer and his crossbow. After I had dispatched a peasant and an archer, the last two people who were supposed to put up any resistance, I saw a child. I decided to give him three attacks before I started to murder him.

The Child charges at You!
The Child punches You in the lower body with his left hand!
It is battered!
Your spleen has been badly bruised!
Your left kidney has been broken!
The Child collides with You!
You are knocked over!
The Child grabs You by the ®ðIron low bootð¯ with his right hand!
The Child grabs You by the second toe, right foot with his right lower arm!
The Child releases the grip of The Child's right lower arm on Your second toe, right foot.
You are no longer stunned.
The Child grabs You by the third finger, right hand with his right upper arm!
The Child releases the grip of The Child's right upper arm on Your third finger, right hand.
The Child grabs You by the third toe, left foot with his right upper arm!
You stand up.
The Child charges at You!
The Child misses You!
The Child collides with You!
You maintain possession of the ®ðIron low bootð¯.
You are knocked over and tumble backward!
The Child punches You in the left foot with his right hand!
It is mangled!
Your first toe, left foot has been mangled!
Your third toe, left foot has been mangled!
The Child grabs You by the thumb, left hand with his left lower arm!
The Child releases the grip of The Child's left lower arm on Your thumb, left hand.
You give in to pain.
The Child grabs You by the thumb, right hand with his right upper arm!
The Child releases the grip of The Child's right upper arm on Your thumb, right hand.
The Child punches You in the right hand with his left hand!
It is mangled!
Your second finger, right hand has been mangled!
Your third finger, right hand has been mangled!
Your fourth finger, right hand has been mangled!
The Child grabs You by the bonobo leather backpack with his left lower arm!
The Child releases the grip of The Child's left lower arm on Your bonobo leather backpack.
The Child grabs You by the left lower leg with his left hand!
The Child locks Your left knee with The Child's left hand!
The Child cripples Your left knee!
You have bled to death.

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Promptly gave him a nickname based off of a main character from an Japan-only RPG to save my respect.
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Beware. Not of the E, or of the U, or even of the &, @, and b. Beware the #.<BR>(Translation:) Beware. Not of the elephants, or of the unicorns, or even the demons, carp, and badgers. Beware the husks, for they are relentless, corrupting, and unstoppable. Only the might of hell itself can even keep it in check; and only for a small period of time. If one sees such a being; run away, unless you like the idea of joining their ranks.

Syreal

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #84 on: July 21, 2008, 04:24:50 pm »

Wow.

What was your wrestling, armor and shield skills at?

Maybe the child was a wrestling prodigy?
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You die in the heat.

Cthulhu

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #85 on: July 21, 2008, 04:58:16 pm »


Promptly gave him a nickname based off of a main character from an Japan-only RPG to save my respect.

He's Vegeta!
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Shoes...

Bingbing

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #86 on: July 21, 2008, 06:48:14 pm »

Had no shield on, but legendary+5 in all three.

And no, I didn't name him that.

No skill, and was THREE.
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Beware. Not of the E, or of the U, or even of the &, @, and b. Beware the #.<BR>(Translation:) Beware. Not of the elephants, or of the unicorns, or even the demons, carp, and badgers. Beware the husks, for they are relentless, corrupting, and unstoppable. Only the might of hell itself can even keep it in check; and only for a small period of time. If one sees such a being; run away, unless you like the idea of joining their ranks.

Reasonableman

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #87 on: July 21, 2008, 07:24:11 pm »


Promptly gave him a nickname based off of a main character from an Japan-only RPG to save my respect.

He's Vegeta!

Vegeta! What does the scanner say about that three year old's power level?
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A sane man must be reasonable, but a reasonable man need not be sane.

Aqizzar

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #88 on: July 21, 2008, 07:39:23 pm »


Promptly gave him a nickname based off of a main character from an Japan-only RPG to save my respect.

He's Vegeta!

Vegeta! What does the scanner say about that three year old's power level?

Man, I had to think about it for a minute.  That arc premiered in America, what, ten years ago?  Pretty accurate though.

I miss being that easily entertained.
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And here is where my beef pops up like a looming awkward boner.
Please amplify your relaxed states.
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Cthulhu

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Re: Epic Failures
« Reply #89 on: July 21, 2008, 08:09:58 pm »

I was never into Dragonball Z.  My friends were all obsessed with it though.  One of them was still into it into seventh grade.
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Shoes...
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