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[Dareon Clearwater]

After having some fun playing more "normal" adventurers that threw things without any skill but with good results, I decided to make a focused thrower.  Armor, shield, ambush, massive amounts of throwing skill... and one level of bow skill, to get arrows to throw at the outset.

So, there I am.  Ears a little pointier than I like, but okay.  I travel around a bit, and suddenly, oh! oh!  A fight!  A pack of wolves off in the distance!  Sneaking closer, my hand reaches for my quiver, a finely-carved elven arrow ready to launch.  I launch the fletched missile straight at the lead wolf.  It passes overhead, not even ruffling the beast's fur.  So I throw another.  And another.  I throw all 36 arrows in my quiver.  I even sneak over and pick up a few of the more egregious misses and throw them.  I even throw my bow at it.  NOT. ONE. HIT.

Disgusted, I lay down and quietly starve to death.

Does anyone else have interesting/amusing failures to relate?

[Mulch Diggums]

I had just finnishing killing my...oh..7th town full of people, or so I thought. I found a few peasants and a swordsman in the tavern. I had killed things mutch more deadly than this so I thought I would have alittle fun. I droped all my clothes and items exept for a dagger I got at an old fort and started stabing up the peasants.. I killed one or two and the guard got a lucky shot and peirced my heart... The slayer of demons was brought down by a peasant and a swordsman =[

[umiman]

I constructed a large castle out of silver floating on the ocean which was built to house masterwork gear and artifacts. The housing chamber was located under the ocean, with a large set of draining pumps allowing a single tile entrance that was 3 levels high from the main silver castle to the housing chamber.

I took an adventurer all the way back to the fortress to claim my gear, and went back down into the chamber. I flipped a lever that opened the hatch that allowed me access to the artifacts and happily went inside like a fedora-wearing archeologist with a whip. Little did my character notice the distinct rumblings above.

It turns out that during construction, I accidentally had the lever used to open the hatch connected to another hatch inside the bowels of the fortress that allowed drainage of the pumped seawater to escape back into the ocean. The water accumulated and poured back out of the drains. It flooded the entire fortress basement and came tumbling down the entry passage into the chamber.

The force of the water came like a moving wall and before I knew it, I was completely submerged underwater. I managed to swim out while water was still filling the chamber (which was rather large as I thought to put a throne room in there as well as plenty of food and drink (which unfortunately was scattered about) and reached the entryway with the lever. There was another lever in an adjoining room. That lever was the one controlling the pumps pumping water out of the entryway.

The train of thought was:
1. Water is flooding in
2. The pumps must have stopped working somehow when I pulled that lever
3. I must get the pumps working again

So I pulled that lever. As you can guess, more water came gushing in to my horror and worse off, the level above me was sealed by a silver hatch. During construction, I must have thought that if the dwarves were to retreat to the panic room, they wouldn't want the water to flood in. Even if I broke the hatch, 5000 metric tonnes of seawater would just crush me. Thus, my fate was sealed and I left my adventurer to starve inside that chamber under the ocean.

[NinjaE8825]

quote:Originally posted by Dareon Clearwater:
<STRONG>After having some fun playing more "normal" adventurers that threw things without any skill but with good results, I decided to make a focused thrower.  Armor, shield, ambush, massive amounts of throwing skill... and one level of bow skill, to get arrows to throw at the outset.

So, there I am.  Ears a little pointier than I like, but okay.  I travel around a bit, and suddenly, oh! oh!  A fight!  A pack of wolves off in the distance!  Sneaking closer, my hand reaches for my quiver, a finely-carved elven arrow ready to launch.  I launch the fletched missile straight at the lead wolf.  It passes overhead, not even ruffling the beast's fur.  So I throw another.  And another.  I throw all 36 arrows in my quiver.  I even sneak over and pick up a few of the more egregious misses and throw them.  I even throw my bow at it.  NOT. ONE. HIT.

Disgusted, I lay down and quietly starve to death.

Does anyone else have interesting/amusing failures to relate?</STRONG>

This happened because those wolves were your friends.
If you'd gone up to them, they'd have slobbered all over you, not ripped your entrails out. Elves have it easy like that.

[Sean Mirrsen]

An epic failure of mine is listed as a story in the Dwarf-ympics thread.

At first, there was a fort. A darkelven fort. Temperate territory, a river nearby. The people were busy, they dug an impressive underground chamber, a large watchtower above the entrance, and an extensive under-the-floor water delivery system. Yeah, right. Somehow I forgot about how U-bends generate infinite pressure. So, the fort was quickly filling, and the only relatively safe areas were the recently dug rooms, and the sealed trade depot with two melancholy elf traders and their melancholy donkeys. Seeing no way to stop the water, and being down to 3 dark elves (two stuck underground in rooms, one aboveground), then 2 dark elves (a pet jaguar of one opened the room door), then one (the guy got thirsty...  he got more water than he hoped for), I decided to abandon. The top levels were only beginning to fill when I ordered the last inhabitant of the fortress to dismantle the bottom row of walls of the watchtower, that buried him under when it fell.

Then I started an adventurer. A dark outcast (drider, dark elf/giant spider crossover) Play Now! guy. He started at the remains of that fort. Considering the danger of flooding to be minimal (I remembered that the top floor where the trade depot is was not flooded yet), I steered him down into the ruined entrance under the collapsed tower. Some equipment from those traders could be handy, I thought. A short walk later, I find a very convincing tsunami heading towards me through the tunnel. Somehow the flooding accelerated in adventure mode. Oh well. I try to go back and climb out. No luck, I'm already in water and drowning. The only chance to escape is to learn to swim. I quickly wade through the water to the trade depot. It's dry in here. The traders and the donkeys are dead, but that's not the point. I spend a while working as a valve, letting some water into the room so as to learn swimming safely. After several excruciating (game) hours, the drider is a novice swimmer. I decide that a quick nap will not harm me in any way, and even help, because drowsyness decreases speed. So after a few hours of sleep, the drider wades out the door and down the tunnel. He wades, wades, he's starting to drown already, but the end of the tunnel looms ahead. Then there's a dead end. The stairs are encased in ice. After a few helpless moments of wading, the drider drowns. After a minute or two, the stairs thaw.

Need I say I never saw the water freeze for so much as an infinitessimal moment when I ran the fort? That's just my (or his) luck.

[RPharazon]

I was having fun slaying various human towns with an Accomplished Maceman, and I got into a fight with the last remaining citizen in the last town. He was, of course, a drunk. I attacked him, and not one of my shots hit. He kept beating me to death, and not a single one of my blows hit him.

The man who caused the extinction of his species is killed by a drunk.

[Reasonableman]

Afraid to face sieges early on in my fortress building process, I turned off invasions whilst I constructed the most complex of forts. I had centered the fort in a confluence of three rivers that had formed a sort of pi-shape, like thus:

code:

 
________ 
 |   |
 |   |
/   /
|   |

I dug a ditch in-between the rivers, completing a square moat. Then I built towers and bridges in the center of each part. I recruited all of my cheatedly-legendary starting dwarves and set them to defense positions. Then, I exited and reactivated invasions. Promptly my fortress came under siege. Stupidly, however, I had forgotten one simple fact: the winter freeze. My peasants were mercilessly slaughtered by goblins who waltzed straight past my carefully built defenses. Whoopee.

[Duke 2.0]

One day, as I was going over the goblin towers in search of a demon again I come upon a fish-infested river. Knowing that there was a river source ahead, I head into the river and chase the fish into the dead-end. Little did I know how many fish, hippos and crocs were in that river. As I reached the dead-end, I was greeted by a SOLID WALL of dangerous critters. Two turns into the fray, my character was over-exert. Two turns after that, he was unconscious  from all the dodging, blocking and counter-attacks. When he awoke I tried to get him out of the wall, but it was too late. He was surrounded by all the fish in the world.

Thats when his legs were torn clean off.

Then his arms.

It was then I knew he was screwed. No way of getting out of the river now. So I had him do what I could.

He started to chop the heads off those fish. He died shortly later, the first rays of the sun lighting up the river running red. The interesting thing was, there was a human town just a few screens to the west of there. When I got there as a different adventurer, the walls of the river were blood-red.

[Duke 2.0]

So like any self-respecting fortress, I had my nobles rooms fitted with deathtraps. Magma floodgates! I was sure to use magma-safe stuff with them. My blunder was forgetting that I had some levers in one nobles room that I forgot to make magma-safe. They were the emergency switches, because I like the idea of the mayor flipping the switch in his office to make his fortress impregnable.

So what happens? Magma gets released from my deathtraps and escaped into the fort! My water cistern gushes up from pressure. Beasts of death and perhaps ten goblins in full gear storm the fortress from the deathpits.

It really sucks when you make a system specifically to survive magma, but forget that one thing that will ruin the fort.

Edit: What the? How did this happen?
Damnit! I re-freshed the page! It didn't show that post! I thought I lost it due to some disconnection.
So yes, unwanted double-post.

[ May 21, 2008: Message edited by: Duke 2.0 ]

[Fualkner]

I tried the "turning body parts into embedded" thing. Great fun. But, then I fight something called a nightwing. It rips out my stomach, but I kill it and walk away with a gaping hole in my gut. I figure I'm screwed, so I just keep adventuring, dispite me fainting every few hours. I come across a giant mantis, a relatively easy creature. I'm in the process of ripping it to shreds when I pass out for a moment. The mantis is held together with duct tape and broken dreams, and it manages to nearly kill me. I wake up, take a slice at the thing, and it eats my head.

Then dies the next turn. Oh how I lol'd.

[lastofthelight]

I had a human adventurer that I got uppity with once. I killed a cyclops and a polar bear, so I was feeling (in my ignorance) powerful - and somewhere along the line after this, I lost my sword. No idea how.

Anyways, I encountered another polar bear, and decided I'd wrestle this one to death. Except it bit off one of my arms. So I picked it up and used it as a weapon....and lost the other one. I ended up running across the glacier and leaping into some water (it was a wierd glacier) to escape.

Later to die against a goblin drunk, about two minutes after.

[Joseph Miles]

I had a legendary axedwarf once, and had been killing off megabeasts no problem. So I figure I'll go in and kill off a town. Everything is going fine, guards dying in less than three swings, peasants flying into little bitty pieces, the works. Then, I stumble upon a pack of kids. Long story short, my axedwarf was gang raped by a bunch of kids and died.

[Kyselina]

EPIC PWN!

[Cthulhu]

I've never survived dismemberment.  If I lose an arm, I lost the rest a few seconds later.  I suppose this is realistic, that kind of injury in armed combat is probably going to result in death, but just once I want to rename a guy "Lefty" and retire him in some town, to be the eccentric barkeep.

[Idiom]

Used DF Companion to do this, but went into the town hall and zombified the mayor. He attacked a guy, which labeled the guy and mayor to be attacked. Now everyone rushing in the town to attack the mayor are labeled as town enemies. Que "Ballroom blitz". Every last living citizen makes a mad dash for the town hall. Once inside, free-for-all. Kids killing parents. Guards killing guards. Blood, vomit, and guts literally flying (lots landed on 2nd story balcony) EVERYWHERE. Not attacking anything, I was safe. I sat in a corner to watch the carnage, and picked up expensive gear as it fell.
It wore down to bleeding, bruised, and unconscious kids dragging what limbs they had left along to pummel each other. I decided to step in and speed the process up with an axe. Needless to say, I got my rear handed to me by a kid with one arm and one leg left. Must of been Chuck Norris's son.