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[Scoops Novel]

Do tell.

[EuchreJack]

So Once Upon a Time, there was a Magic window that allowed me to communicate with these people all over the World!  Even those places that don't even exist!

And then, one of those totally people and not robots asked me to write a story.  So here it is.

And so, there was this turtle.  I like turtles, ever since I was a young lad watching them fight crime.
This turtle didn't fight crime.  It just slowly crawled across the road.  It was a big turtle.  Apparently, it did not cross the road fast enough, as it had a tire tread on it.

It seemed nice enough, so I picked it up by a shovel and tossed it onto the other side of the world.  The end.

[Loud Whispers]

Gonna need more of a prompt than that to get going. I'll start with how I met my best friend.

I can't remember when I met my best friend. He can't remember either. It seems that the earliest we ever knew of each other was that we were both waiting for friends to go to lunch as young teenage boys, and waiting for more than ten minutes, we both ended up calling each other "BROTHER!!!" and embracing as blood brothers on the spot. We were certain that we had no doubt been brothers reincarnated throughout all time and space, because almost every facet of our lives was identical. We had the same problems, the same ambitions, the same exact interests and pains. We could operate as one unit on such an instinctual level, even without words. Still can, in fact.

As testament to this, my blood brother and I were on the way to a cheeky nandos once. A goose born with a wing spur that disabled his flight was standing by a canal leading to one of the lakes. I circled around right to drive the goose further inland, and I signalled with my hand for him to circle around and cut off the path leading towards the lake. Without hesitating we executed this plan and began the wild goose chase, as though the goose could not do long-term flight, it could still fly about a metre off the ground for a short while. The goose flew into a small construction site where someone was renovating their home; three builders looked on in shock as I jumped over their wheelbarrow and grabbed the goose. They looked like they were trying to make up their mind as to whether they should help me or help the goose, but they all burst out laughing when I tucked the goose under my arm and bid them a good afternoon.

This goose had been escaping the local swan catchers for three months. The rest of its family had begrudgingly abandoned it when they realised he couldn't fly away with them. Stranded at the lake, he would've faced eventual starvation or predation by foxes unless caught and transferred to the swan sanctuary. My best friend knew absolutely none of this. Yet he trust me completely that I must have a good reason for catching this goose, and he understood completely my plan to drive the goose inland and away from the water.

Since then our lives have unfolded in more or less the same way, except that he has been hit by endless bouts of hospitalisations from a chain of bad sicknesses. But I am there to hold him up because he is my brother; I really cannot imagine now how I lived life without him.
When the goose was delivered to the swan sanctuary, out of the hundreds of geese there, its brothers and sisters came out and recognised him in an unexpected family reunion.

How did you all meet your best ______?