Let Super Phreak acquire it. Treat him to a coffee or something afterwards.
Literally what we have Super Phreak on our team for so might as well use his expertise.
Winston answers the phone on the first ring.
"This must be Daydream, right? Unknown call from an agency secure phone.""Aren't you the clever one, darling. Exactly as advertised.""You are well advertised yourself boss. I'll be in Baton Rouge Wednesday. I look forward to working with you.""The feeling is mutual," you grin,
"anyway. I was calling to ask for a small favor. I need a recent copy of the DGAC, 4 months at the oldest. That should be fairly trivial for you, correct?"Super Phreak chuckles on the other end.
"Getting the document, trivial. Printing it will be a bitch. That's at least 2000 pages. Three and a half if we want a reasonable font size. You good with a digital copy?"You consider the question briefly. Your very limited interaction with Deinosuchus dosn't give you much faith in his technological ability.
"We probably need a hard copy.""Shit. We doing some kind of artifact heist?""I would think so, but the client has me just as much in the dark as you, dear.""Wonderful. Keep me posted, okay? No disrespect boss, but I've been in the game longer than you've been on earth. They wouldn't even tell us Henchmen who the client is. The agency usually doesn't throw its own to the wolves, but this situation has my guard up.""Trust me," you giggle,
"it doesn't get any less confusing if you know who the client is."Also... This guy is a proper villain, let's think about, assuming for a moment that he's not just dumb, what's his angle for hiring an underling to do this?
You ponder the situation after hanging up the phone. From what you have heard, Deinosuchus is a simple being driven by gluttony and wrath. Left to his own devices, the Crocodilian Cannibal is usually content to hang around the swamps of the deep south. His crimes are usually beneath a being of his immense power: Hunting and fishing without a permit, cooking meth, consuming meth, robbing stores for meth ingredients, brutally murdering drug dealers who object to him giving away his spare meth, and eating hitchhikers. Once in a while, when gets particularly hungry, angry, or low on meth, he will assume his 7-story tall monster form and rain hell upon some hapless city until a coalition of Super Heroes forms to stop him.
It usually takes 3-5 of the Stronger Super Heroes to put a stop to Deinosuchus. Only The Refugee, earth's mightiest hero, has proven able to defeat Cletus one on one, and the visitor from a dead world uncharacteristically chose to adopt stick-and-move tactics against Deinosuchus, leading many to believe that the wild reptile is one of the few beings to have The Refugee beat in sheer physical might. Regardless, Deinosuchus has proven time and time again that he lacks either the smarts or the stubborness to maintain a rampage for long. Luckily for him, he has proven too durable to kill and too tricky to keep imprisoned.
Deinosuchus' history with meaningful schemes and plans is unimpressive to the best of your knowledge. Shortly after 9/11, he famously decided to try his hand at anti-Heroing and promised to single handedly travel to Afghanistan defeat the Taliban, but was stopped by superheroes and forcibly returned to the U.S. shortly after swimming across the Atlantic because he couldn't refrain from attacking European Cities on his travels. Another time he kidnapped a Hollywood Film crew in an attempt to star in the first ever live-action Kaiju move, but the project quickly fell through because Deinosuchus was unable to refrain from eating his co-stars. Most of the survivors required rehab for newly developed Meth addictions.
You spend the better part of an hour pondering his motives, but find it hard to escape from the idea that your employer is just stupid, or at least disconnected from realities of proper supervillainy. You next best idea is that Cletus is trying to treat the EAEAS as a food delivery service, and is presenting you with the illusion of a job so that you might let your edible Henchmen near him. Perhaps some of your Henchmen, who have been on earth longer than you have, could have some insight. Although to ask would probably require revealing to them that they are working for someone with a history of eating people when it is in his best interests not to.
Pete use signup bonus for business?
The next morning you recieve a call from Pete.
"Umm... Boss. The agency just wired a million and a half dollars into my account."
"That must be the signing bonus. Feel free to use as much as you want to expand the club."There is a brief silence as Pete ponders your generosity. "Right. I'll get to hiring some more staff? Do you want me to wait until you can fly up and observe the interviews? If not, should I be telling the employees the true nature of the club's owner?"
This time the pause is on your end.
"Get your hiring campaign ready, but don't pull the trigger on it just yet, dear. Let me get a better grasp on my schedule, and I'll get back to you on that shortly."Talk with geomancer and ecoterrorist about potentially replicating and mass producing demon batteries so we three can potentially become billionaires and also save the planet.
Zero-E and Ginger Brogue both arrive in the afternoon. The agency isn't big on providing the best lodgings for Henchmen level staff, so you invite them to crash in your suite for the time being. As a genderless being, the agency has forced you to room with each of them during your own henchmen days, and they both make for fine company liable to bring back one-night-stands when work is slow and let you feed on their partners once they have had their fill.
The three of you spend most of the evening lounging around the hot-tub, indulging in your favorite topic of group conversation: Demonic batteries. Making them in bulk has always felt like a dream that was just out of reach. They require either Crimson Uranium or Soulite to produce, and neither element occurs naturally in the mortal dimension. Ginger Brogue can create small amounts of Crimson-U with his magic, but nowhere near enough to supply an industrial production effort. He could also, in theory, travel to hell to gather supplies, but making the trip safe, dependable, and reversible is a bit above his skill level.
Once you sort out materials, you would also face the issue of design. You would need somebody who is both a competent scientific mind and knowledgeable in matters of the occult to reverse engineer a demonic battery. In theory, Pete could bring the occult, and Zero-E the engineering, but up until now, neither has really had the time to meet up and put their heads together on the matter. Perhaps your new found underling level income could afford them some time off in the future.
---
Super Phreak arrives in town the following morning, and calls to inform you that he will be spending the day at a local office supply store getting the document printed. Shortly after that call concludes, you recieve a call from Deinosuchus, asking about your progress on the document.
"Its under control boss. I should have it real soon.""Good. Let me know. I'll pay you a visit at the hotel to pick it up. Hopefully I'll have your next task ready by then.""Sure thing."You hang up, and stare at the phone like it is a live grenade. Deinosuchus wants to visit the hotel, where you just invited your very edible henchmen to crash with you. It will now take some finesse to keep your friends safe, especially if you plan to keep them in the dark about their employer.
On the bright side, Cletus didn't seem particularly rushed. You can probably wait a few days before you tell him you got the document, and use the time to either come up with a plan to protect your henchmen, or fly back to Detroit and help Pete with hiring.
How do you proceed?
Author
Topic: (SG) Underling, a Supervillain Game (Read 4073 times)