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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!  (Read 32386 times)

King Zultan

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #330 on: May 17, 2022, 12:44:04 am »

A That's a problem for future us to figure out.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #331 on: May 17, 2022, 12:51:39 am »

I say either B or C. We have the money now, and a solid income. We have no guarantee that either will be true in 40 years.
Either we buy the artifact now, or we don’t buy the artifact.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #332 on: May 17, 2022, 01:09:51 am »

Eh, sure, C
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #333 on: May 17, 2022, 12:23:53 pm »

C
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #334 on: May 17, 2022, 03:27:19 pm »

aa
cc

Glass decide already v;
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #335 on: May 17, 2022, 03:33:05 pm »

Since people want the thing, C.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #336 on: May 18, 2022, 01:06:48 am »

A C it is!

Look we just need to save up a bit for the next bit.

Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #337 on: May 19, 2022, 04:00:27 am »

C although I really do not think this artifact is worth our entire treasury whatsoever
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #338 on: May 22, 2022, 06:54:28 am »

"Create this artifact for me, and I shall pay you when it is finished!"

"So it shall be done." The dwarven leader says and bows his head. A contract is written between you and the dwarves, in two identical copies - one scroll ends in the Advisor's hands, and the other in hands of the dwarven leader.

"We shall now depart for hundred days into deepest pit of your castle, and toil there until our work is done." The leave the audience hall. A while later the guards report that the dwarves have moved to one of deepest dungeon cells with no window to provide light.

Creepy chanting and metallic noises come occassionaly from the cell, they say.

806 AD, Autumn

After exactly hundred days of hammering, chanting, clanking and whispering, the dwarves arrive. Their leader has in his hands an intricate chain of golden rings, tied together with a silver thread waving between the holes. Tiny flakes of gemstones adorn the largest of the chain links, which was elongated into a rectangular shape. Your courtiers gasp and murmur in awe, as the sunlight seems to make the gold and gems glitter with extra shine.

"This is the work of our hands and beards. It shall protect you from projectiles that your enemies might hurl at you." He passes the amulet to the Advisor, who then hands it to you. Despite the thing made of gold and gemstones, it weights as little as a leather strap! How is this possible?

"Our work has been finished. Now we ask that we be compensated for our craftsdwarfship, king Velarien of Bailemarr."

A) "Treasurer! Money for the dwarves!!"
B) "You know what, I've changed my mind. Guards, get rid of these smelly creatures at once!"
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Knightwing64

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #339 on: May 22, 2022, 07:31:52 am »

A
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Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #340 on: May 22, 2022, 10:36:04 am »

A
You do not refuse to pay the dwarves. You do not refuse to pay the dwarves. Doing that would be a bad idea.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #341 on: May 22, 2022, 10:42:36 am »

Y'all should try the bad idea. It can lead to many moments of !!fun!! as evidenced by those two times in other games it happened :P
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

chaotic skies

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #342 on: May 22, 2022, 10:43:58 am »

A A job done deserves a payment.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #343 on: May 22, 2022, 03:22:34 pm »

You order the money fetched to the dwarves.

Few hours later, the wagons laden with treasures and money and gold bullion leave with the bearded craftsmasters.

806 AD, Few days later

Trumpets and flutes sound in the air! The King's tourney is taking place!

Quote
3

Despite the prowess of the champions and squires who entered combat, the crowds that gathered were surprisingly small. Perhaps the trauma of the last one still lingers in the air?

The fighters had their battles and the peasants who did visit to spectate had their fun.

Some of your courtiers grumble however, thinking that such an event should've been a bit more glamorous and pompous.

806 AD, Winter

Quote
1

"A cave-in??" The manager bows his bandaged head.

"Aye, my liege. We were digging out a vein of gold when there was a terrible rumble thorough the mountain. Several upper tunnels suddenly collapsed, and rubble came falling down. We've lost many experienced miners and several cartloads of gold ore that was awaiting to be pulled out. In situation such dire as this, I come personally requesting aid of the Crown, to gain resources needed to hire new miners and maybe even prospect the mountain some more. Otherwise, it might take the next year to restart our mining operations."

You shake your head and send the manager back. You have no money.

806 AD, End of the Year

You tap your desk, eyeing the Scrolls of Kingdom Status while the Advisor is pacing around.

Happiness: 6
Population: 3
Economy: 0!
Army: 6

The Treasurer is moaning in despair behind the door.

"My liege, with the mines not operational and Cartel of Golden Arms not exactly a stable source of income, our Treasury is currently empty." The Advisor states the obvious as you grit your teeth.

"Your subjects are quite happy and the army is quite strong. Perhaps we need some drastic measure to fill our vaults with money again?" That's when the Marshal steps inside, cape fluttering dramatically behind him. After him steps the Spymaster, almost noiselessly.

"My liege! I have received news that a kingdom to the west is currently weak and has an incompetent ruler, but is known for its wealth of gemstones." The Marshal says, and the Spymaster nods eagerly. "How about a raid to plunder their riches?"

As for dramatic measures within the Kingdom...

A) "Dismiss some mercenaries and raise taxes!"
B) "Tax the peasants harder this year!"
C) "Dismiss some mercenaries!"

As for dramatic measures involving the foreign lands...

A) "Why stop at raiding? Lets us conquer that land, and add its people and riches to Bailemarr's account!!"
B) "Nay! We need the Army within our Kingdom!"
C) "Splendid idea! Prepare your raiders and pillagers, good Marshal, the soldiers of Bailemarr shall go for a raid!"

//This is a double-vote. Singular votes or votes split over two posts will be dismissed.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2022, 03:29:53 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #344 on: May 22, 2022, 03:34:11 pm »

B-A
Tax the peasantry more for the time being, but don’t dismiss the mercenaries - we’ll need them for the conquest. If we can successfully conquer new territory, the taxes will mean even more, and we’ll have more stuff to do things with.

I also believe that we should personally take to the field, even if we don’t lead from the front. We got that amulet for a reason, after all - or at least, we should have. Personally going to war will also help portray the war as more just, and is as more respectable to the military and people.

(Also God-damn that was a bad time for that 1.)
« Last Edit: May 22, 2022, 03:39:22 pm by Glass »
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.
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