Ur is very good rat man.
Ur live with stinky dwarfes.
Ur like to write prose.
Stinky dwarfes no like Ur's poems. . .
Ur try very hard to be good fisher for dwarfes, since dwarfes give Ur home.
But Ur no thinks that stinky dwarfes like Ur, they is always laughing at Ur, laughing at poems.
Ur wonders why they thinks poems is funny.
Ur was delivering fishes to market when dwarfes surround hims.
'Hello dwarfes, what can Ur do for yous?' says Ur.
Dwarfes say, 'We's just wanting Ur's fishies'
'But Dwarfes! Ur can no give fish, hims is delivering thems!' Ur says back.
But would you believe dwarfes no take Ur's word for it!? They says Ur is stealing fishies, and that fishies is theirs.
Ur is not sure anymore.
But they keep following hims!
Ur no had choice, dwarfes kept coming.
Ur was corned in house, he had no choice.
Ur had to bash dwarfes away with bow, no expected to die.
What is Ur to do?
Ur decides to leave, as Ur no likes stinky dwarfes anyway.
But there is many mountains in Ur's way. . .
After sniffing around as Ur is good at, him sees best way to go.
Ur hears that west is where tall humies and green gobbies live.
Ur thinks they are more friendly, more literary minded.
After not long Ur finds hairy man named Dumat.
Dumat no can come with Ur, but say that more of his people are just past mountains in big big towers.
Dumat say they like poems. Maybe Ur go see them first?
Ur finds tower!
Inside is some hairy men, and one small hairy man, but they don't know Dumat.
Inside is also pale man in many robes, him pays no mind to Ur, so Ur is fine.
Him say Ur is 'x-quiz-it'. Ur writes this word down for later.
Ur want to stay, but there is no food and Ur is hungry. So him keeps walking.
Ur is surprised when he meets green gobbie for first time!
But gobbie, who's name am Tikes, is wrapped in ropes.
Ur helps Tikes out of ropes, and Tikes says him will follow Ur as thanks!
Then Tikes guides Ur to other roped gobbie, Osmu is name, who am also follow Ur!!
Ur says good poem to Tikes and Osmu.
Think we am becoming troupe!
Ur, Tikes, and Osmu are heading west for many days.
They say we go to The Abyssal-Lock Confederacies where tall humies and green gobbies live together.
Sound much better than stinky dwarfes to Ur.
We stay in many towers and meet many hairy men who listen to Ur poems.
Some towers has treasure that Tikes and Osmu like.
Some towers has smelly shamblers that try to eat Ur.
But Ur is fast and Tikes and Osmu have long pokers, so we safe.
But then. . .
As Ur, Tikes, and Osmu were running from many smelly shamblers.
Ur steps on gross body, whom he thinks is more shambler at first.
But is just dead. But in the sticky wet mud, Ur finds shiny-shiny new sword.
Mud no stick to shiny-shiny sword, it feel many more powerful than bow.
Ur's eyes dance along edge,
But they are not cut,
Ur's eyes bright as if him found cheese wedge,
Him wishes him had cheese, but all has is walnut.
Ur feels uneasy walking, near corpse is hut with many angry looking scary-men.
Tikes and Osmu attack scary-men even though we am outnumbered!
Ur become very sad.
Then Ur become very mad.
Him charge at little horn-men and swing shiny-shiny sword.
Ur am very very mad.
Even though Ur is mad, him is tired, and cannot fight all.
So Ur has to run away, leaving Tikes and Osmu dead.
Stinky dwarfes put dead in coffins and seal them up.
Ur is very sad him cannot do this with Tikes and Osmu.
Ur is very sad there is no one to listen to poem.
Shiny-Shiny Sword listens to Ur's poem.
Shiny-Shiny Sword reflects Ur's sad, black, beady, hurted eyes. . .
On that night, just as the sun had weaned off the last remaining motes of daylight, and the common people of the Abyssal-Lock Confederacy town of Watchedsimple had begun to turn in, to prepare supper, and enjoy the cool breeze down from the eastern mountains, a haggard and lone figure had appeared on the outskirts. The few that took the stranger's gaunted and swaying shape into memory could say only that they believed it to be a haunt of the night, a shell of a creature that bore no sense of self any longer. The farmers just beyond the platinum walls of Watchedsimple boarded themselves up that night, and rightfully so. It wasn't long after, when the rat was first spotted in the center of town that it begun.
It would burst into any home that it could manage, catching the residents unaware and afraid. Looming there at the threshold, the blood-streaked rat man began a horrendous verse, searching for some kind of praise for its only passion. Yet it seemed this loathsome being was doomed to receive no such reward in life, and nary for whatever semblance of life it had come to there and then. No matter the response from the townsfolk, the rat-beast darted forth with a wild gait, swingy haphazardly the impossibly mirrored sheen of the now-legendary armament, Stalkmatches. None were safe from the despondent cry of that creature, Ur Grippedhigh, the Gray Feast. The Butcher of Watchedsimple.
Near by the dawning of the next light, no less than a hundred men and goblin alike were cut down in the butcher's path from the south to the keep, those beyond escaped its fury. It stood there in the town's center, just before the castle-keep that contained all the land's nobility. Amidst the gore, amidst the viscera, amidst the blood-stricken cobbles, Ur stood, Stalkmatches reflecting the moon and dawn's light with a focus, perhaps, a malevolence. The creature beckoned for resistance to sally out from the inner-most walls with another croaked verse. Yet none came then. And perhaps lucky for one Baron Adi Brownhummed, the Butcher did not approach. It's mortal body by then was all but spent, nothing more than a huffing, wounded animal that seemed to beg for death for its twisted existence.
Reorganizing themselves in the dead of morning, the Baron put out a missive to all noble souls of the realm,
'Whosover puts an end to the Butcher of Watchedsimple, and wrests the gleaming blade from its cold, lifeless fingers, shall receive everlasting glory, fame, and riches, the like!' All the while mustering their own men to heed the call.
What happened there on that night in Watchedsimple was a mere footnote in the terrible tale of Stalkedmatches, one overshadowed by the many bearers who came after, but perhaps a look into the first notions of legendary armament bearing some kind of vile curse. . . Yet who can say? Who can blame a mere sword for the actions of the ratman Ur Grippedhigh? Perhaps it merely gave the frustrated creature the power, the means to allow it to lash out at any and all that it saw fit. . . The next chapter in this story will illuminate you of the blade, and perhaps even, the Butcher's fate. . .
For those that might need some help locating Ur, word on the wind is that the Butcher of Watchedsimple lurks yet still in the town. Scurrying through hollowed out homes or through the sewers. The most recent spotting was to the west, just beyond the platinum walls of the city. If you're swift, perhaps you can find them there. Put an end to their terror! -- I unretired Ur a couple of times in Stalkmatches and it seemed as if they were always in this particular location of town when I did so. I cannot guarantee that they won't move about the town, but that might be a good place to start. If that doesn't pan out, perhaps leveling tracker and using O to find odors might help. And if that doesn't pan out, you could always unretire Ur as your companion to fish him out.
For those that actually intend to fight and kill Ur, which I'm
100% CONSENTING TO, here are his stats by the end. I made sure not to level him to be a multi-tier legendary fighter and swordsman, so there should still be a relatively good chance to completely out-skill him and take Stalkmatches. I do think it could be an interesting choice to play as a hearthperson of Watchedsimple and muster the soldiers of the keep to come execute the Butcher, multiple skilled fighters could likely easily defeat him. Regardless, I think it'd be fun to give him a good death! So go for it! If not, it probably would be just as easy to ask for Stalkedmatches, as I don't believe he'll be hostile to any given adventurer without provocation.
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Topic: Stalkmatches - The blade of many hands (Weapon Succession Game) (Read 24794 times)