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[Stirk]

So if I'm going to make any friends it is probably going to be at school. How should I make a good first impression?

School is a lot like prison. Find the biggest bully and beat him up. This should be perfect for you.

It's up to you whether you want to take it from there to "I beat you up so we're friends now" or "I beat you up so now you fester with resentment and consider me your life-long arch-nemesis".

The biggest bully here is me, on account of all my childhood exercise. The second biggest bully is some farmer's kid though.

And I totally beat them up!

My teacher pulled me off of him and put me in the naughty room the rest of the day. Then when I got home my "parents" yelled at me and took away my sweet flower the rest of the week. Then made me go to my room too.

As embarrassing as this was to go though with the mind of a grown man, I am certainly happy they don't seem to have corporal punishment in this world.

All the other kids are avoiding me now. The teachers are all keeping an eye on me so I don't cause any more trouble. Everyone is kinda treating me like a budding sociopath rather than a friend or rival.

Anyway at school we have mostly been learning our ABCs, numbers, and that sort of thing. There is some magic training! It is all basic safety.  Like "Don't play with matches or swallow bleach" basic. Probably a good thing to give people before handing them matches and bleach but not really useful to me.

What else should I get up to while at school?

[A_Curious_Cat]

Wonderful, already off on the wrong foot!

[BlackPaladin99]

a reputation for being weird, distant, cold, terrifying.  also, you must act like you know what everybody is thinking, and that you have plans inside of plans inside of plans inside of plans etc. 

[King Zultan]

It sounds like we must keep LIFTING, more SWOLE equals more power!

[A_Curious_Cat]

It sounds like we must keep LIFTING, more SWOLE equals more power!

Remember, we need to get him killed as quickly as possible!  We may have missed our chance to beat the record achieved in the last game, but we still have a chance to do him in in fewer pages Han the game before that!

[King Zultan]

But what if instead of killing him we make him a killer, we got close in the last game but we have a chance to do it in this one.

[BlackPaladin99]

great.  most of the voices in your head want you dead.  just great

[King Zultan]

I never said I wanted to kill him, just other people.

[Stirk]

a reputation for being weird, distant, cold, terrifying.  also, you must act like you know what everybody is thinking, and that you have plans inside of plans inside of plans inside of plans etc. 

Well I already have that. Except the last part. It is easy enough knowing what the other children are thinking since children's lines of thinking tend to be straightforward, but I still haven't adapted enough to know what the adults are thinking.

It sounds like we must keep LIFTING, more SWOLE equals more power!

It still isn't really lifting but I'm keeping up my exercises.

[King Zultan]

Keep up the exercising so one day you can suplex the monsters of this world!

Also try making friends the regular way that doesn't involve fists.

[A_Curious_Cat]

I never said I wanted to kill him, just other people.

I never said I wanted to kill him, either.  I was planning on leaving that to someone else…

[Naturegirl1999]

Is this still active?

[Stirk]

Is this still active?

Yes. I'm very active on account of everyone telling me to do nothing but exercise.

[Maximum Spin]

Is this still active?

Yes. I'm very active on account of everyone telling me to do nothing but exercise.

Right, don't do that.
If I know anything about anime, and I don't, it's that these are the years when you're supposed to make lifelong friends who will never grow apart or drift away from each other unless it's to reappear as a love interest later. Therefore, to hedge your bets, find the top three or four hottest-looking six-year-olds (of either sex) and start befriending them. Probably not by beating them up this time. Instead, just try to be friendly, take an interest in their weird baby hobbies like finger-painting or fouling their diapers, and, if anyone asks why you beat up that other kid, say you just thought he was giving you the side-eye and didn't want to be a pushover. Since they won't understand what this means, they'll probably believe it. You can try making friends with him too, just apologize for getting off on the wrong foot and act like everything you did was perfectly reasonable and he's the weird one for not getting it.

[Stirk]

Right, don't do that.
If I know anything about anime, and I don't, it's that these are the years when you're supposed to make lifelong friends who will never grow apart or drift away from each other unless it's to reappear as a love interest later. Therefore, to hedge your bets, find the top three or four hottest-looking six-year-olds (of either sex) and start befriending them. Probably not by beating them up this time. Instead, just try to be friendly, take an interest in their weird baby hobbies like finger-painting or fouling their diapers, and, if anyone asks why you beat up that other kid, say you just thought he was giving you the side-eye and didn't want to be a pushover. Since they won't understand what this means, they'll probably believe it. You can try making friends with him too, just apologize for getting off on the wrong foot and act like everything you did was perfectly reasonable and he's the weird one for not getting it.

To be fair we're in a small town and nobody can really move, so I probably will know these people the rest of my life. Unless I do end up traveling.

I'm not really sure how to gauge the attractiveness of small children (despite the rumors), but I think I've found the people you're talking about. But I'm not really sure I'm in a position to make friends without beating them up....

Specifically five other kids are forming a semi-circle around me wielding sticks. Whenever I try to explain myself and apologize they shout something about "justice" so they're probably the most anime kids at school. It looks like the teachers are deliberately looking the other way. Maybe out of their own sense of justice. Maybe this is just how kids play here.

In any case it looks like I'm about to take great in their stick fighting hobby (if I like it or not).

What should I do?