here comes june! june! june! june!
Behemoths1.
Pass topo preliminary exam. - I took two of the three required courses for it this year and will sign up for the third in the fall. I don't know everything I need to yet but I feel very confident that with three months of study before the exam, I'll be successful.
2.
Clear algebra and analysis incompletes and new combinatorics incomplete. - Hopefully academic probation is done. I'm filing to have the algebra and analysis incompletes removed from the record via retroactive withdrawal from school in Spring 2021. Once that's over with I'll give a presentation and be done with the combinatorics incomplete.
3. Prepare for and pass JLPT N1.
4.
Apply to 8 opportunities I don't feel I'm sure of getting.
- I applied for a grant through the school [PENDING]
- I applied to be a directed reading project mentor [REJECTED, try again in the fall]
- I applied for a summer workshop [ACCEPTED]
- I applied for a summer abolitionist teaching reading group [REJECTED]
- I applied for another summer workshop [ACCEPTED]
- I applied for a marginalized student peer mentorship program [ACCEPTED]
- I'm running for department student body president [ACCEPTED]
- I have a proposed thesis advisor [PENDING]
5.
Keep a journal. - I haven't written in a long time.
6.
Depression treatment with magnets with needles somehow I'm not sure of yet. - I'm fully off of antidepressants. It's been hard because I'm having some Real Big Mood Swings but my current status is still better than it was on the pills. I need to make a summer Depression Plan
7.
Full Moon Teas - I missed April because I was very sick at that time (see previous comment). Missed May. Somehow this process doesn't feel "natural" anymore, I guess because the people who would be my natural peers in terms of age (the professors) are discouraged from fraternizing with me; or maybe because the young students I'm in school with have no real conception of the effort it takes to put on a nice tea.
8.
Martial arts practice. Goal is to regularly practice 4x weekly by the end of the year. - I got back in touch with the teacher who martials arts in the park and have the teaching schedule for June.
9.
Continue to downsize possessions. I'm continuing to acquire books at a rate that the gf finds ... concerning. Fortunately I'm planning to break up with her? For reasons unrelated to my book situation?
10.
Reading goals (see the Hot Fresh Reading Challenge) - I haven't read in a while, I'm feeling very ill.
11.
Tithe 10% again this year and consistently volunteer three hours per month. - I'm doing fucking fantastic with this, which feels awesome. I started it as a moral obligation but it has started to feel natural surprisingly fast. I noticed that my opinion of people who need help has improved a hell of a lot and that I am more resourceful.
12. New Year Cards
I've been pleasantly surprised by doing Twelve Behemoths this year because the vague shape of the things I want to do hasn't changed, but sometimes my motivations for doing them evolve. It's helping me to feel more prepared for what I need to do each season and I feel like I'm getting greater insight this year into my emotional needs. I'm especially proud that I'm learning to stick my neck out more and swing for the fences, because "just going for it" is something I've never been good at.
Reorganizing the list somewhat, I can see that during the summer I need to focus on my research project and my self-care goals so that I'm ready for the fall.
So, in June, I want to do the following:
- Use a study/research plan.
- Use a PTSD recovery plan including martial arts practice and a reflective practice (like bonsai or something like that) on the side; and writing briefly in my diary each day.
- Update my reading goals to include my new study rhythm; and the fact that I need to take a break from "stretching" myself by reading fiction that expresses ideas and values harmful to queer people. I've been "stretching" myself to the point of inducing tearing for a very long time and I'm going to focus on self-protection for now.