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[King Zultan]

It seems like cheating unless Walter and Jesse also have some kind of weapon.

Also what about Ash Williams VS Pinky and The Brain who are both equipped with groinsaws?

[Loud Whispers]

Ash Williams vs Walter White and Jesse Pinkman. The bad guys have the jump on him.

Jesse Pinkman trying to klatu baratu niktu would be highly amusing

[Scoops Novel]

The House and Sirius Black swap protoge's. Can they successfully teach them thier wisdom?

When they would have took custody of one, the other is put in their stead.

[Loud Whispers]

No Harry you are a medical doctor

[EuchreJack]

We don't practice Magic, we practice Medicine!

[Frumple]

... wait, who's black's protege? Harry wouldn't exactly count (wasn't taught much, due to black's trauma+not exactly living very long, don't think black got custody in canon?), and I don't recall anyone else who would.

Can't, uh. Can't recall who house had custody of either, for that matter. Unless The House is distinct from House, in which case things get more interesting. The platonic ideal of a casino having custody of Harry and teaching them how to Always Win is a neat thought, and I'm sure Black and Lady Luck or whoever would get on like a raging house fire, burning merrily and lowering property values for entire metropolitan areas.

[King Zultan]

Why are we making some dude teach stuff to a house?

[EuchreJack]

Why are we making some dude teach stuff to a house?

The plight of illiteracy among houses is staggering!  We must seek to rectify this immediately!

Did you know: Houses get DESTROYED because they can't properly read and understand the very accusations made against them?

[King Zultan]

Damn I never knew the plight of the common house, we should spread awareness of this and start a fund to provide the houses with proper education!

[EuchreJack]

Damn I never knew the plight of the common house, we should spread awareness of this and start a fund to provide the houses with proper education!

AGREED.  And I shall humbly volunteer to live with one of these common houses, and apply said funding for the betterment of the house.  And when the house is better, er educated, I'll make sure to give the home a good new caretaker that properly appreciates the newfound value.
And I could even repeat this several times, for the betterment of the common houses.  What could be more noble and worthy? Please give generously today!

[Scoops Novel]

The House and Sirius Black swap protoge's. Can they successfully teach them thier wisdom?

When they would have took custody of one, the other is put in their stead.

Oh shit, that should have been the Hound.

Also, new question:

Merlin vs Terry Pratchett at Telling Stories to Peasant Children

They get 5 minutes of prep. Terry Pratchett goes first.

[King Zultan]

Merlin will just cheat with magic.

[Loud Whispers]

Merlin can see the future, so he has the advantage that he can tell the kids stories which they don't know they'll relate to yet

"And so ends the tale of the Boy who would be King"

[Scoops Novel]

Terry Pratchett is FROM the future. He can tell the story of far off lands and make it oh so real; what will happen to them in exactly one year and this one story about a blue and red guy in spandex a guy who goes KAAAAAMEEE-

[Loud Whispers]

But Merlin saw that future. All according to keikaku