We've had this convo before, yes. Toady gives many warnings and usually only bans somebody after they have repeatedly flouted moderation.
Roseheart, tempbanning does happen in the form of muting. Somebody breaks the forum rules, gets some time to cool off and think about what they did, and then they get to come back. People who get permabanned are usually banned after repeatedly making it clear that they have decided to use this space in a way that harms other users or Toady's ability to just, have a normal life.
This is not court. Being told, "please do not come back to this particular Waffle House" is not the same as being exiled from all community, i.e. social death. It is extremely different from real death.
I used to work at a school where some students were asked to leave mid-year for making "credible threats" of a school shooting. I really hope that they have changed, and grown up, but I also don't want those particular students in my classroom anymore, because that would mean that they had made their threat and were told by the authorities in charge that that was worth a slap on the wrist and no meaningful penalties.
Note that they were not given jail time or excluded from all schools. They were simply asked not to come back to that particular school.
Everyone makes mistakes but there needs to be consequences for threatening behavior. It is OK for Toady to set boundaries regarding what behavior he won't permit in the online space that he has personally built.
I was stalked by someone on this forum and they weren't banned because the stalking wasn't in public, rather via PMs. Toady resolved the situation to my satisfaction by telling the person to stop being a creeper, and eventually they left the forums on their own (I haven't seen them post in any context for 10 years).
The point is: yeah, maybe folks want to come back, but usually when people are banned, it's because they've acted in such a way that either they need to be banned or someone else who has done nothing wrong would have to leave. If the guy who wanted to pay me for tech support with photos of his girlfriend's tits (note, this is a different individual than the stalker) were allowed to become a regular commenter again, I'm pretty sure I'd go back to exclusively posting in the Mafia boards and letting the rest of you all deal with your own social problems.