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[KenboCalrissian]

Spoiler: "OOC: This one's gonna be late!" (click to show/hide)

I've started writing the next leg of the story, but I can see right away that I've underestimated the complexity of this next scene. I mean, just look at this mess.

Mainly, the next arc involves a lot of extra visual elements that are going to be a bit difficult to recreate (You can see above why I don't just use blurry screenshots from the recording). As alluded to in the previous post, you can expect some animation! There's also a fair bit of experimentation with Roll20 lighting effects involved, and I need to work out the best way of re-creating those effects nicely. There were also some major technical difficulties navigating this next area that are causing a lot of problems parsing what happened, even from the recording. Basically, I overloaded the map and caused several players' browsers to crash all night, so as a result the narrative is frequently interrupted and broken.

[KenboCalrissian]

11 Malachite, 212, Mid-Summer (? ? - 4 Days Until Solstice)
-------------

As was often the case, Alefgard was the last one bringing up the rear. The timid wizard didn't really want to jump through a mysterious portal to who-knows-where, but Edward had the keys to the apartment, and he didn't want to have to deal with asking the landlord for the spare. It was far less hassle to risk life and limb seeing what was on the other side of a mysterious portal that apparently contained wandering food.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Background nebula sourced from Peace,love,happiness from Pixabay

Alefgard tried to stand, but his legs found no purchase. All the same, he felt as though he were now standing, though he had no memory of performing said action, nor did he know what he was standing on. In fact, the wizard couldn't even be sure he had legs.

"Wwwwwwwww--"

He tried to speak, but somehow, the words caught on his tongue (if he had one?), as though he couldn't open his mouth (was it still there?). Looking around, the wizard saw his companions frozen in a similar state - Alert, yet motionless when looking at them, but moving while he wasn't looking at them, while never moving from the same spot.

"What is going on?!" The only things Alefgard could do were look around, and think. "I can't see what's written on the 'floor' from this angle, something about a 'Goblin Age...?' Nothing makes sense, it's like we're floating through nothing, but something all the same... I feel a sense of momentum, though there's nothing to use as a frame of reference to judge my speed or direction. Whatever I look at is frozen when I observe it, but free to move when not observed... Like some kind of quantum-tunnel vision, as though all realities were being squeezed through a tiny funnel so only a few possibilities remain." Alefgard considered thoughtfully. "Almost like... if a worm ate a hole through spacetime, and we were being forced through it to some other destination or reality... perhaps the one reality where I happen to make it through alive?! Argh! I would've studied more at that blasted mage academy if their simple books had had any real answers to my inquiries."

The wizard waited some time, but the strange scenery strubbornly refused to change. "Hmm... perhaps I'm asking too many questions? By questioning reality, I'm slowing down our travel, because I'm introducing more realities to consider observing within which to land. But if I don't question it, then there are less observations to consider, thus faster travel... meaning... What if I stopped questioning things, and just choose to go along with whatever--"

*Pop!*

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Suddenly, Alefgard found himself different. Not just somewhere different, but his whole being. In some forgotten corner of space tucked away within the margins of reality, a light flickered in the vast unreality of the void. He rubbed the coarse fur on his head as he sat up in a coffin made of gypsum. The coffin appeared to be in a small chamber, one of several surrounding a central structure from which the only light emanated; Through what appeared to be slits torn through the fabric of space, blocks of light flowed in a similar, regular pattern, terminating in the center of the room. It seemed impossible to get into that space from the 'room' surrounding it. Slowly, a blue candle - just like the one Zumies had - started to drift within that space, bathing the area in blue light. From the other alcoves in the room, creatures began to stir, likewise crawling out of their own coffins.

"Huh," said a dead kobold. "I'm a dead kobold."

"Me too," said another dead kobold.

"Oh, same," said another. "Are we all dead kobolds?"

A giant rat squeaked, squirmed out of a nearby coffin, and sat down on the floor next to the nearest kobold. Even though kobolds ate rats, this rat was not afraid of the kobolds, but rather just sort of chilling there with them.

"Ugh," said a zombie kobold. "Everything aches, and I'm starving. Can we trade?"

Alefgard tried to speak, but instead could only utter a horrible screeching sound not unlike the dying breath of a minor god.

"What was that?!"

"Hey... is that... it is! It's Heaven Baboon!"

Alefgard looked down, and gasped. He thought he was feeling different, but he hadn't imagined anything like this: Coarse, dark fur covered his entire body - except, of course, around his vicious fangs and his glorious posterior - and when he tried to speak, the only sound that came from his throat was the sound of countless angels weeping.

"Who are you?" said one dead kobold to another.

"I'm Meepo," said a talking dead kobold that looked like Magre.

"Meepo's dead?!"

The giant rat squealed in alarm.

"No! I'm just a... a dead kobold now!"

"But you were a live kobold, and now you're dead! That means you died!"

"We're all dead kobolds," said Meepo. "You're Blinko, that's Inko, I'm... oh, I'm Magre, wow... and over there's Yolo..."

"Yeah, but you're the only one who was a living kobold, and is now a dead one. So, congratulations; By a technicality, you've died." Blinko paused to pick dirt from his claw. "Wait, I'm not 'Yolo?' Who designed this adventure?"

Alefgard offered one of his usual referential quips. All that came out instead was the sound of a thousand abandoned dreams.

"Geez, lighten up," said Blinko. "It's just constructive criticism."

The light shining through the cracks in the darkness began to shift. The blue candle was moving away, back in the direction it had come from.

"Is that Zumies?" a kobold zombie resembling Quizno spoke up. "Hey, 'Lumies!' Get back here, so we can see!"

"Whoever it is," said the other zombie kobold, his face mangled beyond recognition, "I think it wants us to follow. Carefully, though - we know not what to expect."

The living-dead Blinko batted at the foot of the still-dead Yolo. "Get up. Get up, you. Hey, why's this guy not getting up? We're all here except for that gnome I don't care about, aren't we?"

The kobold-formerly-known-as-Inko peered ahead into the darkness, towards where the light was guiding them, and saw a strangely familiar object lying on the ground ahead of them.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Mmm... Banana!" The unidentified party member temporarily incarnated as a recently deceased kobold picked up the conspicuous treat. "Time flies like an arrow, but we like these."

Click!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A door just north of the sudden space snack pulled open, revealing something lurking in the darkness. The blue candle they had seen before drifted through the door, floating in midair as it began following the party. A circle of more blue candles surrounded a suspiciously empty space against the far wall, positioned in the formation of a classic binding ritual. If the candles were meant to bind something, it was not immediately apparent or visible. There was no time to investigate the strange sight, however; From the back corner of the narrow room, a pair of glowing red eyes gleamed down the length of a steel blade coming straight for the hungry kobold.

"Is that...? Oh, f--"

Inko ducked just in time as the skeleton sliced through the space where his head was and into Magre's instead.

"Ack! Game over, man!!"

The blade cut clean through Magre's neck as easily as though he weren't even there. As his head and shoulder were separated from his body, bolts of red lightning shot out as his body digitized, disentegrated, and disappeared.

The giant rat squealed in frustration. The dead kobolds looked at the skeleton, at where Magre used to be, and at each other.

"Uhh... Run!!"

Hastily, they scattered and took off into the darkness, where they could see light up ahead. Cutter 5 came after Alefgard-as-Heaven Baboon next, but the wizard-monkey deftly dodged, screeching in a haunted voice that sounded like the lamentations of the weak. Then, he did the next best thing he knew how to do: He ran.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ahead, Alefgard saw two dead kobolds, two zombie kobolds, a giant rat, and a floating candle, all heading for a path of glowing orange and pink light. "Are these even my friends? I can't even tell... and there aren't enough of them. Did everybody come through the portal? Who did we just lose? Am I next?"

Ahead of them, a pack of goblin zombies were piled around the corpse of another dead kobold, this one torn to pieces as it became a feast for the dead undead. The zombies did not look up at them as they passed; The kobold being consumed, did.

"Nope." There was no time to put the kobold out of his misery, nor to confirm it wasn't one of them. Cutter 5 was only a few steps behind.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The ground ahead was uneven, making the room - if one might call it that - appear broken and moving. Through one wall, more slashed openings in space revealed a pit of countless dead fire snakes; Against another, a glowing, pulsing portal, from which the light was coming, and through which half the party had already jumped through.

Heaven baboon turned. Cutter 5 was right behind him, and raised his sword again for another swipe. There was no time to think - he leapt through the next portal to safety, and on to whatever horrors awaited next.

[KenboCalrissian]

11 Malachite, 212, Mid-Summer (? ? - 4 Days Until Solstice)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Alefgard stood up, and shook off the wooziness in his head. This time, as he was not thinking at all about the portal as he jumped through it, the experience was extremely quick - and disorienting. This space seemed like more of the same - an empty black void, squeezed between the margins of reality, illuminated by stray patterns of light that seemed to have no source and terminating against invisible walls. Along the borders of this space, stone walls resembling those of the Sunken Citadel could be seen, but they were oddly disconnected from anything - no roof or ceiling, just a ten-foot visible barrier floating in the darkness surrounding them. Even though there were sconces set along the borders of these walls, the light they saw changed colors and shined in directions that didn't make sense, as if completely unrelated to the sconces. To that point, weirdly enough he could see everyone just fine, as if fully illuminated whether there was light shining on them or not. They appeared to be standing on nothing, walking on a blank plane in a dark void. But, at least he was in his own body again.

"Everybody here?" said Sergei.

"Where's little man?" ratNAROk cried out. "Meepo is missing!"

"...Was that Meepo that Cutter cut down?" said Bubb warily. "Or... was he the one the zombies were eating? I couldn't tell who was who back there..."

"We should back away from this portal, then," said Alefgard. "In case Space Pants' mistake follows us through."

"Mistake?" Space Pants laughed. "I don't make mistakes. Look how strong he is, he's better than ever!"

As they explored the weird space, they realized that while the 'walls' were invisible, they were in fact blocking light behind them. Their formation made no sense, though; feeling around in the dark, they discovered four cross-shaped structures. Each formed four corners meeting together at a point, but none were connected in any way that created a room. They merely seemed to be random obstacles within this dark, liminal space.

"Hello, what's this?" Bubb discovered a seam in a corner where two different walls refused to intersect. Curious, the fly cleric moved closer to investigate.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Oh, hey, another Cutter!  ...Oh, no, another--"

On sight, Cutter 5 rushed through the gap and ran Bubb through. As before, his blade never seemed to actually touch Bubb's body, but rather his body exploded into red lightning to avoid being touched by it. Instantly, Bubb was gone.

"Space Pants!" Edward hollered, "Call him off!!"

"Whatever he does to us, we deserve," Space Pants said with a chuckle.

"...You're insane!"

"Thanks for catching up."

"RAAAAAUGH!!" With all his rage and fury, ratNAROk bolted straight for Cutter 5 with his hydraulic pipe wrench raised over his head, and brought it down over the skeleton's skull. Cutter 5 raised his sword to parry the wrench. As soon as Cutter 5's sword touched ratNAROk's wrench, red lightning crackled through the weapon, out ratNAROk's back, and the barbarian was gone. Without missing a beat, Cutter continued his approach, his bones clattering and rattling with each step.

"Uhhhm..." Alefgard's voice cracked. "...W-we can't fight that."

"Then let's get out of here!" Edward tried to lead Alefgard away, toward the north of the room. The bard walked face-first into an invisible wall, stopping him long enough for Cutter 5 to catch up and delete him, too.

"Okay, that's enough," said Space Pants, now that Cutter 5 was just two steps away from him. The cat took out Nightcaller, the crystal whistle he had originally used to summon the skeleton, and blew it. Cutter 5's skull turned stiffly as he closed the gap and cut Space Pants out of non-existence as well.

"We're dropping like flies!" said Zumies.

"He already got Bubb," said Alefgard. "And Edward..." Frightened, the wizard pressed his back to a wall, feeling his way around to find the hidden walls. This can't be real. This cannot be real.

"There has to be something..." Sergei fell back. As he did, a torch - not a sconce - came into view from behind one of the invisible walls. It appeared to be illuminating a secret path. Thinking it suspicious - and with little time to think - Sergei raced down the small passage. It was a dead end, however, the floor at the end was sparkling. If Cutter 5 were behind him, there would surely be no escape, but he had to try something. He reached forth into the sparkles - and, surprisingly, his claw found the handle of a sword. When he tried to lift it, the sword moved on its own.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Whoa! ...Wait, I've seen this odachi before... This is Meepo's spiritual weapon!"

Just then, Cutter 5 rounded the corner. There was nowhere to run, but fortunately, Sergei didn't need to. The odachi pitched itself level and flew through Cutter 5's chest. As they made contact, golden-yellow lightning crackled through Cutter 5's bones, and at the same time the odachi was consumed in red. Both Cutter 5 and the spiritual weapon vanished.

"Hah!" Sergei pumped a fist into the air. "That's how it's done, little one! Victory in death! I'll have it no other way!"

"...Is it over?" said Zumies.

Alefgard slumped down on the floor, his back against an invisible wall. "Edward..."

"Oh, er," Sergei backpedaled, "There, there, Alefgard. As long as we draw breath, his critical fumble shall not have been in vain."

"That's great," said Alefgard blankly, "but, he had the apartment key. Soo... way to stick me with the deposit we ain't getting back, buddy."

Sergei, Zumies, and Alefgard regrouped, and looked around grimly. The blank space was quiet. No items or equipment had been dropped by anyone who had been eliminated. For all intents and purposes, there wasn't any evidence at all that a psychopathic skeleton had just annihalated half the party in the span of two minutes.

"That wasn't a fair fight at all," said Zumies. "He didn't even hit ratNAROk, he hit his weapon. Once."

"Whatever world we've wandered into does not appear to operate by conventional rules," said Sergei, grunting. "Fighting is no use. If we touch an enemy here, we lose a life. We've got three left... we should keep moving, lest something else finds us."

Sergei extended a claw to Alefgard. Reluctantly, the wizard accepted his help and stood up. While he didn't want to leave where he'd last seen Edward, Sergei was right - they needed to get out of this dangerous, horrible place as soon as they could.

"There," said Zumies, pointing north. "More of that weird, moving light. There seems to be a path through there."

"Then let's see where it goes," said Sergei.

The party, such as it was, cautiously entered the winding hallway. Just like before, streams of light seemed to be moving through the air like a holographic river. The light passed through their bodies as they walked. It was disorienting seeing beams of light shooting through their chest, arms, legs, and even their heads as they walked, but other than leaving a slight tingling sensation as it passed, it seemed completely harmless.

Zumies stopped in his tracks when he saw the wide-open room before them. "What the..."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Alefgard squinted his eyes. There were so many colors shining in this room, it was difficult to make out what was on the ground. "Is that... Huh?! Why does it look like Heaven Baboon has been stretched out all the way across the floor?"

"And some formerly-deceased kobolds," said Sergei. "I recognize them... Space Pants killed at least two of them, yet here they stand, completely motionless. But, look! More portals ahead."

"Four of them," complained Zumies. "We'll never make it out of here... Well, let's-- oof!" Zumies bumped into another invisible wall. "...Oh, so we can see through these walls, all the way to the goal, but I bet it's gonna be like a maze getting through here."

"Here," said Alefgard, his hand slipping off an invisible wall. "Looks like a way in. Let's go..."

Slowly but surely, the three explored the maze through touch more than sight. As they entered, they found that the walls weren't merely invisible, but seemed to allow light to move through them only one way. As they walked, the colors shifted around them, making it even harder to navigate.

"I'm getting lost," said Alefgard. "I've got three walls around me, another dead end."

"Hang in there," Sergei replied, "we're getting closer. How are you faring, Zumies?"

There came no reply.

"...Zumies?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"RUN!!"

Alefgard scrambled. He turned around, hit his head on a wall, shook it off, then crashed into another wall as he hurried to get out of the dead end. Sergei had managed to get farther, but Alefgard had lost track of the path Sergei had taken to get there. He watched as his ally got within arm's reach of a portal, pounded his fist on an invisible wall, turned north, and stepped through a red flame as he ducked into the portal behind that one.

Ehehehehehee...

Again, that laugh - the one they'd all heard in the room with the dragon altar with the blue torches, which turned red when Space Pants blew Nightcaller - came suddenly and out of nowhere, reverberating throughout the entire room, echoing within Alefgard's mind. Of course... The whistle, the skeletons, the lights, the altars - It's all connected. Whatever this space is, it only exists because of the connection these things have. But... to what - or to whom - are they connected?

With only one target left, Cutter 5 was headed straight for Alefgard. He tried to run, but again, he found himself caught in a dead-end. He turned around, but it was too late - Cutter 5 was already at the other end. There was no way out.

Well... At least one of us made it. Alefgard mentally bid farewell to Sergei, and the others, but especially his close friend Edward. If only they had found a safer way to pay the rent, rather than get lost in a dank dungeon for a week that felt like a year and a half, and then lose their lives to some enchanted hole-in-the-wall.

...Wait. I have one more trick up my sleeve...

Recalling again from that same room with the blue torches, Alefgard pulled from his robe Mengegen, the gabbro artifact dragon idol that had appeared after Sergei offered the sapphire necklace to the altar. This item had spoken to him, then:

"point me at one enemy and i'll destroy it," the idol had said.

"Okay, Billy. There's nothing left to lose, and nothing else to prove. Looks like we're dancing by ourselves."

Alefgard held up the gabbro idol, pointing the dragon's face at Cutter 5. The skeleton halted - for the first time since he'd appeared, Cutter 5 actually stopped his approach. Alefgard waited. Moments passed. C'mon, c'mon... why isn't it doing anything?

"wow you just got ripped off." Alefgard suddenly remembered that the item had said something else to him... and, come to think of it, the small voice he had heard, that he thought had come from the item, might have sounded a lot like Space Pants, perhaps from a minor illusion.

"...Oh, wonderful. It was a prank." Alefgard scowled. "I love it when someone insults me. It means I don't have to be nice anymore."

Aahahahahahaa!!!

Cutter 5's jaw opened wide, and his bones rattled as his shoulders shook up and down - was he the one who'd been laughing at them all along? It no longer mattered. Cutter 5 stepped forward and impaled Alefgard with his sword through his gut. The lightning kind of tickled, actually, as it tore him apart bit by bit, atom from atom, dissentegrating him into nothing.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Hey, Alefgard! You alright?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Alefgard opened his eyes. Zeke, the badger, was gently shaking his shoulder. Everybody else - Meepo, Bubb, ratNAROk, Space Pants, Zumies, Sergei, and especially Edward were all here, safe and sound.

"Hey, buddy," said Edward, "Long time no see!"

"Oh, no," said Alefgard. "No, no, no, don't you dare pull the whole 'it was just a dream' thing."

"No, you definitely went into that portal," said Zeke. "That really happened. And then, about one shake later, it spit you all out again, and disappeared."

"I forgot we told him to call them 'shakes,' said Space Pants, chortling.

"What happened to the turkey?"

"Mmm!" One of their captured goblins rubbed his tummy. "Much bird! So tasty! Very wow."

"You said it's only been a minute!"

Erky belched. "...We were hungry."

"So," said Zeke, "what happened in there? Did you guys find anything?"

The party all looked at each other, and then at Space Pants.

"...What?"

"You know what," said Bubb. "That whistle of yours has got some explaining to do."

"So we all saw the same thing?" said Alefgard. "Crazy, murderous skeleton chasing us through a colorful void?"

"Yes," said Meepo. "In fact, I saw the whole thing! Even after I was... out, I guess, I was still present. I could see what you were all doing from above, but I couldn't do or say anything."

"Me too!" said Edward. "It's like we were spectating or something."

"Ahh," said Alefgard, rubbing the back of his neck. "You, ah, saw everything? Wonderful."

Edward patted Alefgard on the back with a grin on his face. "Yeah, man! Last one standing! You did great!"

"So, was that you manning your spiritual weapon, Meepo?" asked Sergei.

"No, that wasn't me! Like I said, I couldn't talk, or move, or scratch. Not that I was itchy, I just wanted to scratch." Meepo scratched under his armpit. "Ahh..."

"Strange... It's almost like that was left there specifically to be used in that way, like this was all arranged by someone," pondered Sergei. "But, at least we didn't leave empty handed. Look."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sergei held up one claw. In it, he was holding what looked like a ball of moving light, winking in and out of existence only within the region of his palm. "I seem to have won a prize for finishing. It's tingly."

Meepo tried to lick the ball of lights. "Ack! It stings my tongue! And it tastes like copper."

"Mmmmmmyes I would not do that." Sergei held the ball up high where the little kobold couldn't reach.

"Whoa..." Zeke's eyes widened, and then widened even more. "I wonder if that could... Hey, you wanna trade?"

Sergei perked up. "Hm! Perhaps. I am a dragonborn of practical means. Something simple, without any bells and whistles, but does its job effectively - that would suit me just fine. I would gladly trade it for the +1 longsword in your shop."

"Ah, I knew you had your eye on that! Let's see... Well, without knowing what this is or what it does yet, it's hard to put a price on it, though it's definitely valuable. I think... Yeah, I can do that!."

Sergei nodded. "Ah, good, then we have a deal."

Zeke held out his hand, eager to get a closer look at the object. "...Ow! Whoa, you weren't kidding, that does tingle! Uhhh... oh boy, I hope this isn't radioactive..."

"What does that mean?"

"...Well, it would mean we shouldn't be holding it with our bare hands, soo... Just in case, let me go grab that sword for you. And find a really safe place for this."

"Wait a minute," said Space Pants. "What if none of us had made it to the portal?"

Nobody answered. The room fell chillingly silent.

"Oh well," the cat yawned. "Guess we'll just have to find out next time."

[KenboCalrissian]

Spoiler: "OOC: Could not update thread: Too much egg (click to show/hide)

Enjoy the holiday break! I'll see if I can make it up next weekend.

[TheFlame52]

Enjoy your holidays. Take your time.

[KenboCalrissian]

Hey all,

This break went from covering web security to dealing with health issues. I'm working on updates when I can, but my time's been very limited lately, and unfortunately I'll need to give this a little break to take care of some things first.

Thanks for reading! Be back when I'm feeling better.

[KenboCalrissian]

11 Malachite, 212, Mid-Summer (Evening - 4 Days Until Solstice)
-------------

Glowing fungus illuminated the muddy gallery ahead. The walls that weren't covered in moss and mushrooms were adorned with engravings of dragons raining fire down on people below. There were three other doors to choose from.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Erky prodded the goblins, "Alright, enough wasting time. Which way do we go?"

One of the goblins got the others to huddle together, and they started muttering between themselves in Goblin. While Meepo knew their language, they were speaking too quietly for him to understand. All at once, they looked up and said, "It this way," while pointing towards the south door.

Meepo mumbled to Alefgard, "I think this might be a trap... or not, Meepo not know."

"Hmm..." Alefgard kept his suspicions to himself.

"Meepo," asked Edward, "why do you walk hunched over like that?"

"Because my back hurts from carrying this team," the kobold replied.

"Heavy weighs the crown," Bubb quipped.

As the party ventured toward the south door, Meepo couldn't help but notice the goblin in the lead take it upon himself to knock on the door to announce their arrival. A voice replied, in Goblin, "Who is it?"

"We got guests," the goblin replied. "Get the good wine!"

"Oh, okay, yes," came the reply, "the good wine!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The door opened, revealing a room full of goblins and shrubs, purposefully arranged to form a small orchard. An oil lantern provided all the light the goblins needed to work in the dingy room. Buckets of mashed berries sat fermenting in a corner, which smelled of a sweetness that was both sickening and intoxicating. The goblin at the door greeted the party with the widest of grins, excited at the prospect of guests. Dirt and bark clung to his sticky, bare, purple feet.

"Welcome, welcome!" The goblin said in his best Common. "You here for the tour? Come on in! We'll show you where the wine is made!"

"No thanks," said Space Pants, staring at the goblin's ripened feet. "I've seen enough."

"Me too. It's a trap," Meepo said aloud, in Draconic. The goblins noticed, but did not comprehend, as hoped.

"Duly noted," said Sergei, the dragonborn.

"Go ahead in," said Meepo, this time in Common so the goblins would understand. "I would like to prepare a gift, as a delegation from the Chukujrulus tribe."

"Kobolds want to make gift?!" The friendly goblin was stunned. "Uh, heh heh... Yeah, sure! We-- I mean, Belak will surely appreciate your offering!"

"Wonderful. Just give me one moment."

Meepo turned to Bubb. Immediately, the cleric knew the kobold's intent. "They are a danger that must be eliminated. Correct?"

Meepo nodded. "Kill 'em all."

Bubb grabbed the handle of the door and pulled it shut. Flies crept out of every joint of their warforged body, and slipped beneath the door, a blanket of silvery wings oozing through the cracks like some profanity of nature.

"Blech," said Edward, "I'll never get used to that."

"Could be worse," said Alefgard. "We could be on the other side of the door."

On the other side of the door, the goblins panicked. The swarm of flies writhed through the door, collecting on the ceiling out of reach. Then, once they were all through, they lunged all at once for the goblin who had lead them to this door from outside. Through the swarm, Bubb cast Inflict Wounds on the goblin, rotting his still-living flesh and devouring him alive, thousands of nibbles at a time.

The wings of the flies buzzed together to form a tinny mimickry of speech: "Submit or die. Or... surrender or die? I dunno, whichever one sounds cooler. Do that."

At the sound of garbled screaming, Sergei pushed past Bubb and barged into the room. He pointed his masterwork longsword at one of the other goblins who had lead them here and cut him down on the spot. "You were warned there would be consequences if you lead us astray!"

Zeke followed pace behind Sergei, but when he got to the door, he leveled his blade towards one of the goblins. "Hit the deck!" As he pushed a button on the hilt of his sword, the green flame at the tip of the Blazer Cannon launched a bolt of plasma, burning a hole through his face.

"OP," complained Alefgard.

Zeke glanced pointedly at Space Pants. "That's only because somebody might try to mug and rob the shopkeep!"

Space Pants raised his paws. "I haven't even done anything yet! Even though that totally sounds like me. I mean, watch out around that Zumies guy, he steals stuff for a living."

Meepo launched a Guiding Bolt at the last of the goblins who had guided them towards the trap, but the shot went wide. Zumies followed the shot anyway with a bolt from his magic crossbow, nailing the goblin Meepo was aiming at neatly between the eyes. Edward matched Zumies' deftness with a critical strike of his own, poking his rapier clean through the heart of one more.

"Ambush!!"

All of the goblins who were in the room before still remained. The one who had just called out picked up the oil lantern and threw it at Bubb, hoping to disperse the swarm of flies. The lantern missed, barely, but as Bubb maneuvered the swarm around the flaming flying fixture, they saw the answer to the goblin's call.

Reinforcements sprang from the bushes along the walls, flinging arrows and flashing swords. The goblins who had pretended to be unarmed reached beneath the bushes and found swords to defend themselves with and lunged in as well. Two of them swatted at Bubb, using the flats of their blades to knock a swath of flies out of the air.

One of the goblin's arrows struck ratNAROk square in the chest, knocking the barbarian back a step. ratNAROk roared, as mightily as a mouseman can, and smashed his giant wrench into the nearest goblin's skull. Blood dripped from his wrench as he pointed it at the one who shot him. "Everything between me and you is dead -- here I come!!"

Bubb used the cadence of their beating wings to perform the verbal and somatic components for their spells as a swarm of flies. To protect themselves from the goblins swatting at them, they cast Spiritual Weapon in the same space as themselves, enveloping the swarm of flies with a giant spiritual fly. The spiritual fly then gnashed at one of the goblins while the flies themselves nipped at another, slaying both.

Space Pants contributed in the best way he saw possible, and lit the tree in the center of the grove on fire with a Fire Bolt. The dry, stringy shrubs on either side of it would surely go up in flames with it in mere moments. Space Pants was pleased.

Sergei struck at another, but the attack glanced off the goblin's shield. A Fire Bolt from Alefgard's fingertip was likewise deflected harmlessly. Erky had had enough.

"Forget you, Space Pants! You wanna see some dead goblins? HYAAAH!!" Erky flew into a rage and cleaved off the leg of a goblin with his scimitar.

"Yes," said Space Pants. "Let the hate flow through you."

Meepo poked his head around the corner of the doorway and cast Toll the Dead, melting one of the archers in the back. Zeke hacked down another goblin, the plasma tip of his sword cauterizing the wound as it cut, while Zumies darted in and put annother crossbow bolt through another goblin. ratNAROk stepped through the space of Bubb's swarm of flies and their spiritual weapon and, all three allowed to occupy the same space, flexed and clobbered the last one.

"Tour is canceled," said ratNAROk.

The fire spread unchecked as the party searched for loot instead. Zumies found some purple grape-like berries on the shrubs, as well as collected in buckets nearby. Recalling the goblins' sticky feet, he opted not to investigate the actual wine being made.

Sergei put out the fire, as Zeke stashed some bottles of goblin wine to pawn off to someone with less scrupulous tastes. "Not much here," he said, the search otherwise turning up mostly empty.

"Well, this room was a waste of time," said Space Pants. "What are we even doing in this dungeon?"

"The apple," said Meepo, "which we need to get before you set it on fire like everything else!"

"I thought we were escorting this man to prison for murdering goblins," said Space Pants, pointing at Erky. "He looked me right in the eye and did it again."

"Watch out," said Erky, "or next time, I might mistake you for a goblin, too."

"Oooh." Space Pants pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "They grow up so fast!"

Spoiler: "OOC" (click to show/hide)

I'm going to have to drop to a whenever-I-can schedule for this for a little while. I have some health concerns to deal with that need to take priority, but I'll keep this going when I feel up to it.

In other news, the real-life party has finished the dungeon!! After almost two years, we've completed the Sunless Citadel. We're taking a break from the game while I prepare for the next leg of the adventure, but we all can't wait to dig into the next chapter of this beast.

[TheFlame52]

I'm just happy with what I can get.

[KenboCalrissian]

11 Malachite, 212, Mid-Summer (Late Evening - 4 Days Until Solstice)
=============

"Beyond the Veil: Aged to perfection deep within ancient ruins, its recipe guarded by the last white dragon, this wine offers a full-bodied taste with hints of mushroom and blightberry. Pairs with a hearty meal, its pungent notes will ascend your pallete to a whole new reality."

"Zeke," said Edward, "What are you doing?"

"Marketing! Gotta come up with a keen hook if I'm selling goblin foot wine."

"Sounds like you're selling catnip," said Space Pants.

Alefgard snorted. "Pungent notes? You mentioned the hint of mushroom, but not the fungus between their toes."

"How do you know Calcryx is the last white dragon?" asked Zumies.

"Well, she's not the last, since you say there's still a dragon alive at this place called Severedcoils, but who can claim to have seen a second white dragon anywhere?"

"Right," said Sergei. "Nelare Fedíofi Fonenelare, the dragon to whom this very temple is devoted. I believe that's the dragon I spotted chained up near the gate."

Meepo's eyes lit up at the sound of the dragon's name. "Meepo would very much like to meet Nelare one day. Is she scary?"

"Oh, no," said Sergei. "The dragon I saw was no larger than Calcryx, chained up and withering away behin-- d'oooh."

Meepo looked very, very sad.

"I mean, I'm sure she's fine. She's a dragon, after all."

"I would very much like to see her," Meepo said again with steel in his voice.

"We'll bring you with us, little one, if that is your wish. As soon as we retrieve that apple, we'll be on our way back."

The party approached the next door in the gallery, a short walk north and on the east wall.

"I need a tank in front of me," said Meepo.

"Right here." Sergei checked the knob to see if the door was unlocked. It was. Sergei kicked the door in anyway.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A strong scent of mushroom and compost gusted through the door at the force of his foot. The chamber beyond looked similar to the one they'd just left - a dirt floor, from which a garden of shrubs was actively being tended. These shrubs did not seem to be planted in any specific order, however, and scratches in the dirt seemed to indicated they'd been moved about recently.

Tending to these shrubs was a gang of gardening skeletons, armed with hoes. The skeleton nearest the center turned and raised a boney hand in their direction. "Ssstop. You must be the... adventurersss we've heard ssso much about. Before you ssshatter our bonesss for experience, I have a proposssal for you, if you will leave usss in peace."

"Hang on," said Edward, "I'll make sure Space Pants stays out of this one."

Space Pants replied, "What's he sayin'? Does he need to be set on fire? Does he have friends who need to be set on fire?"

"Nevermind the hooligans," said Sergei, "I shall hear you out. What say you?"

The head skeleton gardener parted some nearby brush, revealing a small, smiling twig blight. "Instead of your usual course of dessstruction, consssider this instead: Ssspare us, and take thisss young blightling with you. It will bond fassst to you and bring you companionship for time to come - much better than the fleeting, passsing joy of the crunch of twig and bone under foot, no?"

"Blightling!" The miniature twig blight mimicked its name like some small pocket-sized creature. "Blightling! Blightling!"

"Hang on," said Space Pants, "Did I hear it say, 'burn me?'"

"It said 'catnip,'" said Edward.

"Oh, yeah, good idea."

"I wonder if we can breed it?" said ratNAROk. "Maybe it's like a hosta, and it'll multiply if I cut it down the middle? We could raise an army of these things!"

"Your terms are acceptable," Sergei said hurriedly. "'Tree Son,' you will come with me now. I shall raise you to be the finest warrior."

"Yesss..." The skeletal gardener clicked his fingertips together with glee. "'Tree Ssson...' Sssuch a fitting name for your new faithful companion."

"Before we go," said Sergei, "We seek the tree that grows the special apples. Where can we find it?"

The skeletal gardener rolled its head back in thought. "Ah, yes... Belak's tree. Just follow the doors to the north. When you can't go north anymore, go south, then north again. When you find the stairs headed down the long hallway, you'll know you're almost there."

Alefgard scratched his head. "North, then south, then north again--"

"Don't think about it too hard," the skeleton laughed, "You'll see."

Meepo nodded. "It seems we've been in this dungeon fighting one thing after another for far too long. It's nice to finally have a room that just hands us something for free, and then gives us directions towards the end!"

Sergei grunted. "Too long indeed! Come, Tree Son! To arms!"

"Tree Son!" The blightling took to its new name like water. "Tree Son! Tree Son! Tree Son... Tree Son..."

The party made haste through the north door, into the northern gallery, and to the north door of that room. Bubb listened at the door, but heard nothing. However, something on the other side of the door smelled delightful to them - the unmistakable scent of fresh, rotting corpses.

"Mmm... smells like someone's left out dinner for us!" Bubb opened the door, unable to resist the tantalizing aroma of decay.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In the next room, an assortment of dead kobolds and goblins laid about the floor, gathering flies. A nearby campfire, left unattended, kept the room nice and toasty to keep the stench ripe.

Bubb licked their thousands of lips. "Who would leave a feast such as this to waste? Not I!" The fly cleric began to dig in, claiming a goblin leg to cook by the fire.

"Do I eat goblin?" Meepo seemed uncertain. "...In a pinch, I probably have."

"It seems we've found the corpseyard," said Sergei, "though... the way these are laid out is rather suspicious, no?"

Bubb stared past the goblin leg they were cooking and into the fire. "...This fire must have been tended to recently for it to be going this hot. And it's adding to the stench... surely, this whole scene appears to be manufactured!"

Almost as soon as Bubb said this, the floor began to tremble. The wall cracked, then shattered apart, revealing a huge, hungry beast.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The tremblng earth knocked all but Bubb and Sergei to their feet. Stone and debris from the wall crashed into Bubb.

"Hold it together!" Edward shouted. "That's a bulette!"

"A what?!" said Bubb.

"Land shark!!"

"Big chonker!" ratNAROk vaulted over a small towercap with his Nutcracker and smashed in its snout, critically wounding it.

Bubb launched a Guiding Bolt at the bulette. Its body glowed, making it easier to see vital weak points. Space Pants ignored all of them and assaulted the beast's mind with Dissonant Whispers, racking its mind with phantasmal sounds of hissing, scraping, and the Bad Kitty spray bottle to cow it into submission. The ruse worked, and the bulette leapt away in alarm to the back of the room.

Taking advantage of the break in action, Space Pants focused sorcerous energy to temporarily increase his spell capacity. "Like they say, you can't ever have too much power!"

"Who's 'they?!'" asked Edward, with alarm.

Sergei slashed at the bulette with his magic long sword, but the attack bounced off its thick, scaly hide. Frustrated, he channeled his anger into a surge of action and breathed fire on the beast. Alefgard followed up with a Fire Bolt of his own, but had similar problems getting through the monster's armored skin.

Erky thought it wise to bypass the creature's armor, and cast Sacred Flame, engulfind the bulette in white, radiant fury. Zumies fired a bolt from his magic crossbow, but it failed to connect. Zeke kept his distance and fired two bolts of energy into its side from his plasma sword.

"Do you have a license for that thing?" Meepo asked, as he cast Bless on Sergei, ratNAROk, and Bubb.

"You kidding? It's one-of-a-kind, not exactly easy to register. ...Wait, who's asking?"

The bulette roared, reared itself up on its hind legs, and launched itself like a bullet through Sergei and ratNAROk and into Zumies' and Bubb's space. Sergei and ratNAROk were knocked aside, the barbarian knocked prone, but Sergei kept his footing and tried to slice it as it went by - his attack went wide, though. Meanwhile, Zumies was pushed back while Bubb was trampled beneath the bulette's bull rush.

ratNAROk got behind the bullette and flanked it, smashing his wrench into its thigh. The beast let out a pained groan - its scaly hide may be thick, but that hurt.

"Here, this worked last time."

Space Pants cast Dissonant Whispers again, forcing it to move as far as its speed allows away from Space Pants. Using its superior burrowing speed, the bulette reacted by burrowing nearly straight down.

"...That's not what happened last time."

Bubb's body was mercifully pushed aside in the dirt by the bulette's passing, rather than dragged down underneath with the monster. Erky healed Bubb to revive him, and Edward said a Healeing Word for him, too. Then, Bubb began a Prayer of Healing for the rest of the party.

ratNAROk barely restrained himself. "Grr... wanna go after it, but it's long gone already, huh? Yeah... digging around under these rocks didn't turn out well last time."

"Hold still." Bubb's Prayer of Healing manifested as glowing flies trying to land upon and clumb up their noses.

"No, no!" ratNAROk tried to swat the fly away. "No heals!"

"Why? Why?" Space Pants was laughing to himself. "You're gonna die, man!"

"I know why," said Bubb. "It's because he cannot face his own mortality, for to do so would mean admitting weakness. Only a weakling would refuse healing for the sake of his pride."

"No, no, it's because it's gross, man! A fly? Up my nose? Come on, man--"

"Only. A weakling. Would refuse to be healed and made ready for future fights to come."

"Rarrgh!!" ratNAROk tried to pull open the door to the next room, but it was locked. "Argh! Fine! Ew! Why does it have to be so gross?"

"Quit being a baby. It's just one little fly this time."

[KenboCalrissian]

12 Malachite, 212, Mid-Summer (Early Morning - 3 Days Until Solstice)
=============

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Exhausted, the party at last decided to put this long day to rest. With no further sign of the bulette, Zeke once again used his portal device to open the gate to his shop to use as a safe resting place. The dank room was starting to smell a bit ripe due to the goblin bodies left behind.

"Oh, right... should've done something about that. Uh, hey! If you guys help me clean up my mess, I'll throw in a discount on the next thing you buy!"

ratNAROk was already throwing a goblin corpse onto Zeke's fire. "Easy!"

"No, not there! The place already stinks enough as it is. Throw 'em outside, there's already a pile of bodies out there anyway."

It didn't take long to drag the goblins outside. Zeke kicked some dirt over the bloodstains on the floor, and soon it was good as new.

"I'm pooped!" said Meepo. "Shop tomorrow. Sleep now."

"I'm not quite tired yet, myself," said Zeke. "In fact... yeah, why not. This might be the wrong time for it, but how about some coffee?"

Space Pants watched with curiosity as the badger began removing tools from his knapsack beside his stump stool, as he had before - a bag with covered in strangely printed text, a tall metal pot, and a waterskin. He poured the water into the pot, the beans into a compartment built into the top, and set it on the fire. Almost immediately, the aroma of brewing coffee began to overtake the goblin stink.

ratNAROk sniffed. "Ah, yes... more of the good drip." The barbarian took a sip.

"I should warn you, if you drink that you'll be up all night!"

"Raaaugh!!" ratNAROk yelled. "So! Much! Energy! I'm just gonna burn it all off right now!" ratNAROk entered his final rage of the day and took it out on one of Zeke's tables, splintering it down the center.

"Hey, knock it off! So much for that discount."

Space Pants took a cup and smelled it. "Have you ever given coffee to a cat before?"

"Uhh, I'll be honest, I have not served coffee to any being on this world before you guys, soo--"

"Oh well, now you gotta live with whatever comes next." Space Pants downed a cup of coffee so fast it burned his tongue. The cat twitched, sputtered, and screeched as he went completely feral, running across the tables and knocking over Zeke's displays.

Zeke shook his head. "What a mess... And to think, all I tried to do was introduce foreign cuisine to an alien world."

Space Pants tipped over a table as he ran under another. Hissing, foaming at the mouth, and completely out of his senses, the cat really seemed to like coffee.

"With no regard to what you're feeding us or whether we can handle it," scoffed Alegard, as he took a sip of coffee.  "Mmm... not bad."

Zumies abstained from the coffee, and instead pushed all the things off of one of Zeke's tables to sleep on top of.

Zeke sighed. "No, what are you-- fine, at least if you're sleeping, you won't be making any more messes. Sheesh!"

Space Pants spat, hissed, and tried to jump on top of one of the torch sconces. Cinders rained down as the cat brought the light fixture down with his whole body. Space Pants kept on running.

"Oh, dear," said Bubb. "Isn't there a cleric somewhere willing to help this poor creature?"

Meepo was sleeping soundly beneath a table that hadn't already been destroyed.

"Anyone?"

Erky was drawing a circle in the dirt around some glass vials. "Come back later, I'm busy."

"What are you doing?"

"Making holy water," said Erky, consecrating the bottles with a holy Ceremony, pouring powdered silver into the circle he drew in the dirt. "What does it look like?"

"Not a bad idea. You never want to need holy water and not have it."

Space Pants got up on his haunches like he was ready to pounce Erky, his tail wiggling as he carefully got himself into optimal launch position.

"Don't you dare, you crazy-- If you make me waste this, I'll--"

Space Pants batted at the vial of powdered silver in Erky's hands, making a wild grab for it at disadvantage.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shiny object acquired, Space Pants batted at and chewed on the vial on the floor. Fortunately, he had forgotten about the circle, and hadn't kicked it up yet.

"Oooh, you... Fine, take the vial. Go over there and... play, or whatever. Leave me alone for an hour, and you won't regret it."

One hour later, Erky had himself a vial of holy water, and Space Pants still hadn't run out of energy. It was far past late, so the party did their best to sleep with a feral cat streaking around.

Not long after everyone had retired, Sergei began to hear a noise. It sounded like music, but artificially composed - tinny, mechanical, and precise.

"Hm? What's that?"

"I choose to fail my perception check on purpose." ratNAROk pulled a blanket over his face and ignored the music to go back to sleep.

Space Pants was sprawled out over a pile of papers that looked like they were probably important. Space Pants was of no use to the situation. Space Pants was in perpetual coffee bliss.

Looking around, Sergei saw that the door to the back area was left ajar. Their badger companion was also absent. The music seemed to be coming from behind the door.

Cautiously, Sergei slipped through the door to investigate. Colored lights hanging from a green wire lined one wall of a hallway that started here and wrapped around the wall to the north. There was a door to the south, and two to the north. The music was coming from farther down the hall, and the closer he got to it, the more certain Sergei was that he had never heard anything like this before in his life.

There was an open door at the end of the hallway. As he approached, he gasped at what he saw.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Lounging in a modern-looking chair, Zeke sat before a glowing panel upon which was projected some kind of animated scene. The badger held a device in his hand which was wired to a box connected to the screen, and this seemed to be the source of the music. The badger hadn't noticed Sergei yet - he was intently pressing buttons on the controller while staring at the screen in front of him in a trance, as though Sergei weren't even there.

"What is..."

"Gah!" Zeke jumped with a start. "Stikash na'kah... You scared me! Uh, hey, yeah, um... You know how I sold you guys that phone that you shouldn't tell anybody about, and it has games on it? Well, this is like that, but without the phone part. But, it also comes with the part that it's something else you shouldn't mention to anybody ever in the whole wide world."

"Games, you say?" Sergei took a closer look at the screen, and only now realized Zeke was controlling it with the device in his hand. "...Oh!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Zeke offered the controller to Sergei. "Well, you've already seen it. You wanna try? You move the beetle around with this plus-sign looking thing, and shoot the turtles with the 'A' button. See if you can beat my high score!"

At first, Sergei struggled with the controller, looking at it each time he wanted to press a button. Soon, though, he started to get it. His eyes lit up as his destruction of a wayward turtle shell caused a chain reaction of stars and explosions that set off more shells and more stars and more explosions. The strange text in the corner of thes screen - he assumed it was a number - went up and up and up.

"Yeah, like that! See? You're a natural!"

Though he was blind to his overall progress since he couldn't read the score, on his third try he was doing very well. The shells picked up speed suddenly, but he stayed in the game as the difficulty spiked. More shells erupted into sparkles and stars as he blasted his way ever closer to an invisible finish line. Even more shells dumped onto the screen - too many at once! The speed picked up again at the same time, and just like that, his beetle was squashed, and the game was over.

"It always does that at 50,000! Great job though, that's an excellent score for just starting. Want to keep playing?"

"Just for a bit," said Sergei. "We're nearing the end, I think, so I'd prefer to be rested for tomorrow. Then again, it's a little quieter in here than out there with that crazed cat."

[KenboCalrissian]

12 Malachite, 212, Mid-Summer (Early Morning - 3 Days Until Solstice)
=============

By anybody's guess, it was a new morning. It had been days since the party had seen the sun, and the dirt walls around them were windowless, featureless except for the claw marks that dug it out and the few torch sconces barely clinging to the earth.

Space Pants woke up. Space Pants was up most of the night hopped up on caffeine. Space Pants was miserable.

"Blugh. Where's that badger with the juice? I need to wake up."

"Maybe you should lay off that stuff," said Alefgard. "It doesn't seem to agree with you."

"I'll be the judge of who or what agrees with me. Isn't that right, Erky?"

"Nng..." The gnome rolled over in the dirt where he was sleeping. "Few more minutes."

Space Pants grumbled as he picked dirt out of his claws. "Great. I think I only recovered a single spell last night.

The side door opened as Zeke came out from his chambers. "Good mo--"

"Coffee. Now."

"Oh, I'm right behind you." The badger looked around at the chaos that was his shop - it looked like a hurricane had wiped through. "Y'know what though, I think we'll make it to-go this time."

After a quick breakfast, the party gathered their things and prepared for another day of trekking through the Sunless Citadel. They headed out through the portal affixed over the entrance to Zeke's shop.

Edward blanched. "Uhh... what happened here??"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Surrounding the exit portal was the carcass of the bulette they'd almost killed yesterday. It seemed a hole had been bored clean through its head and body, extracting a perfect cylinder of flesh clean through. The portal rested in the center of that hole.

Bubb's billions of eyes lit up at the potential feast. "It must have tried to eat the portal."

"That's weird," said Meepo. "Shouldn't there be bulette guts stuffed in the entrance to Zeke's shop?"

"Not if it came from underneath," said Zeke, perturbed. "When that portal isn't active, it leads out the front door of my sett. If it came from underneath, then that means... the rest of this thing... is all over the front of my home."

"Like it shot out the front door?!" Edward couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry, that's... really unfortunate for you."

The stone door leading out south was jammed, and required some effort to open. The immediate passageway in front of them was dark, but what lied beyond was illuminated by an eerie red glare.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The chambers were lined wall to ceiling with engravings of dragons in flight, some crumbling or worn with age. A menacing green dragon carved of marble and painted, though chipping, dominated the room with its presence. The eye sockets of the dragon statue glowed red, casting dark shadows on the wall behind it with its mighty wings, and which danced upon the walls as the party moved about the room. Before the dragon statue was a circular tile of smoothed basalt.

ratNAROk immediately attacked the statue. His wrench bounced off the stone harmlessly. "Magic! I bet if I hit it harder..."

Zumies snooped around the southern corner of the statue. Its massive wings obscured the wall behind it, casting massive shadows on the walls and floor. However, there was something peculiar obscured by the darkness - a doll, made of corn husk. Three, in fact, lined up against the wall, one in each corner and one in the center.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Huh... that's not ominous at all."

The rogue reached out to pick up one of the dolls - but as he did so, all three burst into black flame! Zumies leapt back just in time to avoid being burnt, or worse. As the flames dissipated, three dark, shadowy specters arose in their place.

Zumies was quick to react and fired his magic black bronze crossbow, Athamgim Bothonnulom, "Focustwisted the Murky Blames." The bolt pierced through the shadow, magically damaging the ethereal entity. Taking advantage of the distraction, he deftly disengaged and departed, avoiding getting ambushed in the nick of time.

Edward took a shot at one of the shadows with a short bow, but the arrow passed nearly harmlessly through. "Huh... I seem to remember something about these things, but I can't quite recall..."

Space Pants' eye twitched. Sleep-deprived and spell-deprived, the cat was already in a foul temper. He studied the shadows for a moment, noting that they were clearly incorporeal. "Right, so... this isn't going to work, but here goes anyway." Space Pants screeched like a feral animal and leapt at the shadow with his claws extended, looking to outdo the barbarian for the day. His paw passed through the shadow, feeling cold as the darkness sifted between his claws.

Just then, Edward recognized the shadows with his bardic knowledge; He recalled several stories about these fiends, and suddenly remembered their weakness: "Of course-- Radiant! They're vulnerable to radiant attacks!"

"One radiant damage, coming right up!" Erky bounded atop a chair, and then a table, and held his holy symbol high as he called out, "By the power of Thrathdad, be purified!" It seemed the god was listening, then, as one of the shadows burst into white Sacred Flames, brighter than they've ever been before.

Meepo cast a Guiding Bolt at another, incinerating the shadow instantly, burning even brighter than Erky's flames. The kobold then turned to the gnome with a grin on his face. "Go team Nelare!"

Erky tsked. "Please, you think a dragon could stand up to a god?"

"You'd be surprised!"

The only shadow left was the one Space Pants tried to scratch, and it swiped back. Its claws reached through Space Pants, chilling him with its icy tendrils and stealing his strength.

Sergei and ratNAROk closed in on the remaining shadow. As Sergei maneuvered behind the statue's massive wings, ratNAROk climbed over it and leapt down on it with his giant wrench. As he raged, white flames burst out of his fur, enveloping his weapon with radiant energy. The shadow blasted apart in a flash of brilliant white energy.

The shadows departed, leaving nothing behind. Even the corn husk dolls were gone, having burned completely away by the black flames - not even ash remained. It was as if nothing were ever behind the statue in the first place.

"Rats," said ratNAROk. "What a bunch of cheapskates."

Meepo investigated the dragon statue. There was no mistaking it - this was a statue of Nelare Fedíofi Fonenelare, which made sense considering this temple was devoted to her. To think the goblins had such a beautiful relief of the beloved dragon on their side of the dungeon!

"It's not breakable enough," said ratNAROk. "Let's move on."

Deciding the leave the statue be, the party turned towards the door to the north.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Oh, sure..." said Zeke. "More shrubs."

Spoiler: OOC (click to show/hide)

Sorry for the sudden hiatus, life got a bit complicated for a while. Job search, leading to a new job, has been an adjustment but a welcome one! I'm not quite ready to commit to a schedule again yet, but don't worry, this story's still twitching.

[KenboCalrissian]

12 Malachite, 212, Mid-Summer (Morning - 3 Days Until Solstice)
-------------

The doorway opened to an old library, the walls lined with bookshelves filled with books that were in turn filled with mold. The cracked mortar in the floor was pierced by dried shrubs, standing between the party and the door on the other side of the room.

"Can we get a nametag for my boy Tree Son?" said ratNAROk. "So we can tell him apart from these posers?"

"Tree Son!" The baby twig blight they'd picked up along the way repeated its name happily upon hearing it.

"Aw, Tree Son," said ratNAROk, "You're the new Meepo."

"...What's that supposed to mean?" said Meepo.

"You know what I mean," the mouse barbarian said. "You used to be the 'small and cute one.' But now, Tree Son is smaller and cuter, so we love him more!"

"Small and-- what?!" Meepo pounded his yklwa. "Who's gonna heal you when you get beat up? Not that 'smaller and cuter' shrub there, that's for sure!"

"No," said ratNAROk, "That's not that point. He's like... an emotional support creature."

"I agree," said Space Pants. "I feel better just having him around."

"How do you know it's a boy?" asked Edward. "...How do you check?"

"I'm more curious how these shrubs are growing here without sunlight," said Zeke.

"Wild magic," said Bubb. "Like life, it can grow anywhere the conditions are right."

"Ah... I don't understand magic all that well. It isn't on my world, and it just kinda confuses me."

"Hm... perhaps it's residual magic from something in those shelves?" Bubb took a step into the room, pushing past the first shrub.

"Wait, I wouldn't--"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As soon as Bubb set foot into the room, the shrubs sprang to life, reaching out to grab him with their branches!

"Now who didn't see that coming?" said Space Pants.

Three of the four blights closest to Bubb hit, scraping their warforged armor frame but dealing little damage. Bubb reached for a Potion of Fire Breath, drank it, and spat hot fire at one of the blights in the back, incinerating it instantly.

ratNAROk smashed the nearest twig blight with his wrench. "Hey, do these guys seem crunchier to you guys?"

"Yeah," said Alefgard. "Ever since we killed that big one earlier, all the blights we've seen after have been dried out and withered."

"Easy pickin's!" yelled the barbarian. "Let's pull some weeds!"

Bubb leaned and toppled himself over top of a twig blight, allowing gravity and the Constitution of his own body, rather than Strength, to crush it. Zumies ducked in and chopped the head off of another, his dagger easily cutting through the dried twig body. Erky cast Sacred Flame, but missed.

"Here, lemme show you how it's done." Space Pants conjured a glob of acid and hurled it into the room. It missed his target, but the splash burned the one next to it to a crisp. "See? You always gotta have a contingency plan."

Sergei squeezed into the cramped room and sliced a blight in twain. "Look away, Tree Son!"

Tree Son poked his head into the room to see the commotion. Upon seeing the dead twig blights, Tree Son wandered in and planted its roots in the cracked mortar, feeding from the mulch of his brethren.

"Uhh... I think our Tree Son might be a little cannibal."

"Hah!" Meepo cried out, as he sliced a twig blight apart with his yklwa. "So much for 'small and cute' - that thing's waiting to eat you!"

ratNAROk snarled, "How dare you accuse Tree Son of plotting against the party! What's the matter with you?"

With one blight remaining, Zeke walked into the library to finish the job. With a snort, he slashed through the remaining blight. The ball of plasma resting at the top of his blade burned it instantly, reducing it to ash. Zeke turned and, seeing Tree Son, immediately regretted his actions. "Oh, the little one doesn't need to see this..." Sheepishly, the badger stomped out the fires so Tree Son wouldn't have to see its own brethren burning.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Tree Son looked on, smiling like always.

Meepo began searching the room. It didn't take him long to find a scroll of Scorching Ray hiding beneath the rubble of one of the wrecked bookshelves. The others followed suit, each taking a separate bookshelf. Similarly, Zumies found a scroll of Melf's Acid Arrow.

ratNAROk procured a tome of draconic lore. It was written in draconic and bound in blue dragon scale. The mouse handed the tome over to the badger and said, "Oi, dead dragon. You hate these, right?"

"Indeed I do," Zeke said, turning sour as he inspected the tome. "A dragon destroyed my home, when I was living at Frelan Keep. I know my friends got out safely, but I haven't seen any of them since. I've basically had to start over from nothing."

"That's rough, buddy. How much is it worth to ya?"

"I like it. A lot. Keep it coming."

Sergei searched the shelves, and found something familiar. The shadows seemed to move over it in a peculiar way, like claws reaching out to leave it there to be found before retracting up into the bookshelf.

"Oh, what's this...? Another of those stone tablets we've been finding." The dragonborn stared at it, unmoving. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the flapping of a bat's wings. "...Why do I get the feeling this was left here for us to find?"

As expected, the tablet revealed a bit of the history of Severedcoils, shedding some light on the fort's handling of its meat industry.

Space Pants, the cat, read the tablet, and pondered. "Huh... That cat saved itself by making a dwarf adopt it. Dwarves have some kind of weakness for the affection of a cat, then? That's real interesting."

[KenboCalrissian]

12 Malachite, 212, Mid-Summer (Late Morning - 3 Days Until Solstice)
-------------

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Having pilfered the old library, the party pressed onwards. Sergei tested the door to the north of the room - it was unlocked, and opened easily. Through the door was a short hallway that turned sharply towards some stairs headed down. Moss covered the damp precipice, and the passage ahead was dark.

"Well, only one way to go," said Sergei. "Let's move."

Carefully, they descended the mossy stairway, cautious not to slip or make any noise signaling their approach. Except for Bubb and Zeke, both of whom slipped and bonked their heads on four stairs apiece on the way down. Flies buzzed about in protest of the armored suit's folly.

Damp and crumbled stone masonry marked the way ahead. The ceiling was eight urists high, and the corridor made a sudden right turn, headed south.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The floor was so crumbled apart it might as well have been dirt. The walls may have had something etched on them once, but so many roots had pushed through the walls it was impossible to tell what it might have been.

Space Pants moved ahead and found a door. Not only was it made of solid oak, but it still had bark on it. He arched his back and ran his claws down the door, as a cat would. The door did not respond. However, he noticed the ground in front of the door was of fresh soil, resembling that of a forest.

"Space Pants walks right past it," he said aloud, as he decided suddenly he had no interest in the door, as a cat would. South of that door was a second door, also made of wood, though a more standard affair than the previous door. The finish on the door was peeling with age. Space Pants jiggled the handle - it appeared to be unlocked. The cat opened the door slightly, then sat next to it, taking his time deciding whether he wanted to go in or stay out.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The next room appeared to be a storage area. Barrels filled the room, leaving a path through the center of the room connecting the exits. To the north was a door to the room Space Pants had passed. To the south, the wall has caved in, giving way to a cavernous opening full of twigs and moss. The passage beyond was alive with luminescent fungus and twiggy, woody foliage unexpected this far beneath the surface. Protruding from the briars were ruined walls and towers, their purpose lost with age.

"Let's not leave anything behind us," said Sergei, checking the oak door Space Pants left behind. The door was locked. Placing an ear to the door, he heard nothing beyond.

"Kick it!" said Meepo.

"Happily." Sergei kicked the door. It was surprisingly soft and moist, rather than hard like it looked, but the door stayed intact nonetheless.

"If only we had a rogue who could pick locks," said Zumies, pulling out his thief's tools. "Step aside, let me handle this."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A layer of soil covered the entire floor of this room. Roughly constructed shelves line the north and east walls, filled with tomes and scrolls. A desk carved from a stump sat in the center of the east wall with a tallow candle on it, but its light was unnecessary, as fungus on the ceiling provided ample illumination even to support a few scraggly bushes pushing their way through the soil. 

Zumies wasted no time searching the shelves. There was no mistaking it - this room was the study of a druid, presumably a powerful one. Many of the tomes seemed useless - seasonal notes of precipitation patterns and whatnot, dating back dozens of years - but one tome stands out, its title in draconic. Though he could not read it, he did know one word in the title, which stood out clearly to him: 'Treasure.'

"Sergei," said Zumies, "are you able to read this? It seems pricey."

The dragonborn looked at the cover of the tome. "'Treasures of the Fire Lords.' Let's see what it--"

As Sergei opened the book, briefly he saw the flash of a rune on its second page, just before the book exploded in his hands! The trap burned everyone in the hallway, exploding in a twenty urist radius. ratNAROk dove in front of Tree Son to protect him from the flames - but, was surprised as the book exploded in a wave of cold, rather than flame. Regardless, Treeson was spared from sudden frostbite. Sergei, at the epicenter of the blast, was not so lucky.

"Sorry, Sergei," said Zumies, "Had I known it was going to do that, I'd have given it to Space Pants."

Zumies opened the door to the south, leading into the storage room. The barrels were stacked unevenly through the room, making it difficult to maneuver beyond the cleared path. To the south, a pair of buckets sat on either side of the exit, with a lit torch sitting in one.

"A lit torch?" Zumies moved closer, and tried to take the torch. However, he failed to notice the trip line tying the two buckets together. Kicking the tripwire knocked the lit torch and both buckets and, filled with oil, on top of the hapless rogue. Flames burst out around his feet and on Zumies' robes - at the same time, a pack of goblins leapt out of hiding, reacting to the trap being sprung!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Chittering and giggiling, the goblins appeared from behind barrels in all corners of the room. A few darted in and out, slashing at Zumies with scimitars before disengaging back into hiding behind a barrel. Others stayed in the back and peppered them with arrows. One of the goblins got a clean hit in, almost taking Zumies to a knee, but the rogue remained standing - and on fire.

One of the goblins struck ratNAROk before ducking into hiding. "Hey! I saw that! I'm coming for you," the barbarian roared.

Another goblin tried to attack Sergei, but critically missed, striking a barrel and knocking it over, spilling half-rotting, half-salted fish all over the floor. Sergei riposted, slicing the goblin in half for its mistake. However, one of its allies retaliated with a critical strike against Sergei.

"Raaaugh!!" ratNAROk raged. Spotting the goblin trying to hide behind the barrel, the mouse lined up a swing with his wrench and cracked it across the skull. The goblin's head sailed off in an arc. Another barrel smashes, trashing the place with longland grass and tower cap mushrooms, making it look like a food fight was taking place.

Bubb cast Spiritual Weapon, summoning their spiritual fly between Sergei and ratNAROk. The spiritual fly immediately gnawed the face off the nearest goblin with its spiritual digestive juices.

"How does that work?" asked Alefgard

"Hey," said Bubb, "Souls gotta eat, too."

Zumies used his boot to kick as much flaming oil as he could onto the nearest goblin, distracting him so he could disengage and leap out of the puddle of oil. With a tumbling roll, Zumies simultaneously got out of the fire and put out the flames on his own clothing.

From the door, Erky cast Bless on Bubb, ratNAROk, and Sergei. Space Pants shot a fire bolt at a barrel containing a goblin, setting it on fire.

Sergei swung at a goblin and, thanks to the power of Erky's Bless, struck him down. Sergei moved through a fray, provoking an attack from a hidden goblin, but dodging it as he went by.

Meepo entered the room, spotted the goblin assailing Zumies, and cast Toll the Dead on it, killing the goblin outright. Zeke followed up by rushing in and slashing at the last visible, non-burning goblin. The flame on the tip of his sword set another barrel alight. Felling that goblin, he pointed the tip of his sword at the last visible burning goblin, and shot a bolt of plasma at it. Unfortunately, the bolt grazed the goblin, barely damaging it at all.

The last goblin put the flames about itself out, and then called out, "What are you guys waiting for?! Do something!"

From the south sprang forth reinforcements - several archers, immediately firing at Zumies and Sergei, leapt out from behind now-shambling twig blights, and lead by none other than the shaman Grenl, who had escaped them earlier.

"You'll never reach the Gulthias tree!" The shaman screamed, as she cast Bane on Bubb, Zeke, and Zumies.

Spoiler: "OOC" (click to show/hide)

(Unfinished) commission above by Lucas Sanctum

[TheFlame52]

Not looking so good for our heroes...