Everyone entering GOLD!---Tricky Curve: +0 to Power Slides
---Chocobumps: +1 Momentum in the hazard phase if you didn't go off-track or defensive drive!
!!Hazard!!
---Piranha Chompers: Hazard check or lose 1 momentum!
Off Course!
Big Piranhas: Make a hazard check, or get Bolted and lose 3 momentum!
<--Track Mood Music
Lightning Phase~
Player Action PhaseDRIVE NORMALLY (IN A COOL WAY) UNTIL WALUIGI CAN SEE AGAIN ALSO GO AHEAD AND DROP THE BOX ITS SLOWING WALUIGI DOWN ALSO SHOULD WALUIGI AGAINST ALL ODDS STILL BE IN FIRST AFTER THIS PULL AHEAD WAAAAAA!
"AGH CHEATING TRACK BLINDED WALUIGI WITH MUD! TIME FOR WALUIGI TO USE WALUIGI'S FORBIDDEN TECHNIQUE... FLAILING WALUIGI'S ARMS AROUND AND PANICKING WAAAAAAAAA!"The racing master decides 'driving normally' is just trying to go really fast, so....
WALUIGI SHIFTS INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE! (Aggressive driving)
[1-1=0] Dirt Track:
-1 Momentum (Now 4!)
WALUIGI IS NOT DOING WELL! KART IS CURSED BY CHOCOLATE!
HICCUP GAINED![4]=Hazard Magnet ((Using Waluigis hiccup roll from before! This hiccup gives-1 to hazard checks against items with the trap, hurricane, ground pound, or hydro pump tags.))
Waluigis flailing arms only seem to increase his karts erratic steering, complicated by the sticky mud-he finds himself plowing into a field of deeper mud! He feels he's gonna have a bad time.
Hazard Check vs Choco-Mud2-1=1Mud Pit:
-1 Momentum (Now 3!)
1-1=0 ((Gonna be merciful and not hiccup you here lol))
Mud Pit:
-1 Momentum (Now 2!)
6-1=5Waluigi's kart breaks free of the sticky mud going much slower than he was! And now he's absolutely drenched in chocolate!
Debuff refreshed and increased to -2!Mushroom man is roaring up behind him! Waluigi decides to drop his item box in a panic! Wait...
He stares suspiciously as the box pops open. Revealing another, smaller fake item box inside.
BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!
Scumboos fly out of the box and swarm his kart! WAAAAAAAAA!
Waluigi has been bamboozled by a trick boo!Bamboozled:
-1 Momentum (Now 1!)
Of course, the Scumboos leave a lot of trash behind-
the poison mushrooms is about to grow to full size! ((This will trigger in the clean up phase without an item in its place...good luck!))
...
Waluigi can only watch helplessly as the mushroom burns up the road after him!
Crank takes a free Pass Check vs you![1+0-2=-1] vs [4+5=9]
Position lost!And in a fitting echo of the previous turn, two racers roll right over him! This time the parade is packing batons!
Dampe rams you! Free pass attempt![1-2+0=-1] vs
[5+5+2=12]Pass Cost:
-2 Momentum (Now -2)
Position lost!Bowser rams you! Free pass attempt![1-2+0=-1] vs
[2+5+2=9]Pass Cost:
-2 Momentum (Now -4)
Position lost!Hazard Check vs Choco-Mud5-1=4By sheer willpower (or maybe waa power), Waluigi rolls out of the mud right ahead of Jack Frost, who it seems, has chosen to witness all of this out of some cruel intent in his frozen heart.
Crank was no stranger to Bowser; it was hard to not know the Koopa King. Undoubtedly he had some nefarious scheme in mind for his racing career. He wasn't about to let him pass, though.
The strange object thunked next to him in his kart. What was this? The puzzlebox?
Six sides... there's probably a combination of some sort. Maybe it spells something? Can you spell PHANTO with these emotions? Crank saw a clear Happy and Angry face, but what was P, then? Maybe Phear? Or was it Pissed and Afraid? Worth a shot?
DRAFT - don't pass Waluigi while he's still dragging that thing - while trying to solve this puzzle! Push the Pissed face, maybe? If that doesn't explode things push Happy and Afraid?
"Boomer! What the heck is this?"...
Crank notices Waluigi immediately lose control and begin careening around the track wildly, before releasing his fake item box-which promptly explodes into...ghosts? Funny. What sort of guy would fall for such an obvious trick?
Now's the perfect moment to pass, and he's not going to miss it...
Free Pass Check vs Waluigi![1+0-2=-1] vs
[4+5=9]1st place gained! No momentum loss!
While he gains position, he feels the icy cold of his Arctic Compensator freeze him to the bone! You know, if he has bones.
Chill Applied:
-1 Momentum! (Now 4)
...
Having gotten comfortably ahead of the whole mess now erupting behind him, Crank takes the time investigates his Puzzlebox carefully.
As soon as he presses the Pissed Off Phanto face, the whole box changes shape! Groovy. Now it looks like a very weird block, like two five sided pyramids stacked on one another-it has 10 sides, instead of 6. And instead of Phanto faces, each side of the box is a simple blank white surface with a single letter in black. There's no apparent meaning, so he guesses he'll have to press them in the appropriate order...
A
M
L
B
D
Z
O
E
B
O
Hmm.
Did he hear a giggle just now? Eh, it was probably just his imagination.
With a determined look in his eyes Dampe rams Crank into the mud
Dampe watches as Crank scoots ahead on Waluigis draft, just evading his shovel. Guess he'll have to get the other one!
Dampe rams Waluigi! Free pass attempt![1-2+0=-1] vs
[5+5+2=12]Pass Cost:
-1 Momentum (Now 4)
Position Gained! Now 2nd!Dampe shovels Waluigi into the mud and packs dirt over his grave!
Yoink!Dampe's stumpy arms reach in and steal Waluigis
bottle of bubble soda! He's heard they can use this to apply upgrades to his kart mods after the race...assuming no one steals it from him.
Ram the old guy with the shovel
(And if I succeed, put a “kick me” sticker on his kart)
”CHHAAAARRRRGGEEE!!”Bowser watches as Dampe cuts ahead of him, avoiding a Koopa King sized beating. Guess he'll have to get the other one!
He's pretty sure Waluigi counts as an old guy anyway. Bwahaahaha!
Bowser rams Waluigi! Free pass attempt![1-2+0=-1] vs
[2+5=7]Pass Cost:
-1 Momentum (Now 4)
Position gained! Now 3rdBowser jumps his whole kart and knocks Waluigi even further into the mud as he roars past him! He makes sure to lay a 'kick me' sign on the bumper kart as he goes by. He carries a lot of these around!
Dick Dastardly puts on the breaks next to the chocopits, and takes out a long long pipe from his Double Deuce.
All other Racers auto-pass him unless Delayed.
Begin filtering the chocolate into my tank, I'll fill it up and drop it off at the pitstop. And spread the refuse all over the track too. This place is going to be even more treacherous to cross next two laps, perfect for bogging them down.
Once his dirty work is done(with dirty weapons added to make things even worse for those who get bogged down suspicion free[including him])
"Clearly he wants to mess with me. Well no more, time to cheat!"...
"Time to hit paydirt." And if I understand the sparks, I'll just skip this part of the track next go round.All positions lost!No one expects Dick Dastardly to slow down and let everyone pass him! You see, that's how a genius thinks, in the way nobody else would.
But he's thought long and hard about it, and knows the bounty on the chocolate collected on the track very well might be better than the pot for actually winning the race...
He rattles his controls-one long vacuum pipe to suck up the delicious chocolate, one sneaky grabbing hand to spread it over the track! Delicious!
Dick Dastardly has created a new hazard in this section of the track! (Kicks in after this turn-details post turn!)Having completed his dastardly trick, he does the only thing that's really sensible given he didn't give an actual action.
DICK DASTARDLY SHIFTS THE MEAN MACHINE INTO MAXIMUM MEAN! (Aggressive driving)
[4] +1 momentum! (Now 3)
Right off the cheating line!
Defensive drive the heck outta this track!
Jack goes hee ho hee hum...
+1 to passes, grabs, and hazards!Tricky tirelessly pounds down the track!
Tricky slows his relentless gallop, concentrating on swerving through the lanes!
Action: Tricky is charging defensively!
"Tricky could use an item here-time to take things slow and steady!" Tricky slows down and takes a deep gulp of the nearby chocolate mud. Tasty!
+1 to passes, grabs, and hazards!Unfortunately for Cranky, there's no more time to stall. He has a date with destiny, and that destiny is shaped like a tofu-flavored tofu banana.
Fortunately for Cranky, at that very moment a rampaging triceratops sprays the Speedy Pete (and Cranky, and the "banana") with mud! Chocolate mud! Acting quickly before Wrinkly can swap out the killer tofu, Cranky jams the tofu banana in his mouth!
Coughing and wheezing, Cranky rolls into the wake of Tricky Triceratops, once again Drafting behind him in an attempt to climb the ranks!
 | BLAH! It tastes like chocolate-covered gym socks! |
Cranky tries to slide his kart past Trickys bulk as he recovers from the terrible tofu banana! He notices the dinosaur has slowed down and trying to block him from passing! But his kart begins to steadily build a lot of speed in the awesome wake...
Big Draft:
+1 Momentum (Now 4)
You attempt to draft Tricky! Free pass attempt![1+4+2=7] vs [5+3+1=9]
Cranky can only sputter tofu bits as Tricky weaves back and forth, forming an invincible wall of Dinosaur blubber to keep him from passing!
Dirt Track (Draft Fail):
-1 Momentum (Now 3)
Cranky feels his karts double poor handling start to kick in again, veering him toward the terrible mud pits!
[1]Mud Pit:
-1 Momentum (Now 2!)
[3]Mud Pit:
-1 Momentum (Now 1!)
[6]Cranky manages to glop his kart out of the mud bare moments before an ominous looking set of bubbles approaches him!
He feels like a chocolate covered banana now. Thankfully, he planned for this, being the clever ape that he is...
He activates his choco-fludd to clear away the chocolate debuff!His pressure washer quickly and neatly cleans his kart of the nasty impediment!
Wrinkly approves.
"Wow! We should get one of these for the kitchen, what do you think?"...
Hazard PhaseEverybody but Tricky, Cranky, Jack, and Waluigi pick up speed on the Choco-bumpers!
+1 Momentum!Crank (Now 5)
Dampe (Now 5)
Bowser (Now 5)
Dick (Now 4)
The chocolate pumps chug as all the racers so equipped, extend their vacuums to pick up the sweet stuff-Dick takes a particularly long sip...
Bowser (+1 Chocolate)
Cranky (+2 Chocolate, bonus for 'hands on collection'!)
Dick (+5 chocolate)
...
Movement PhaseDick may be at the back of the pack, but he's not out of the running! And look, the monkey took a chocolate bath! Time to pass him!
[4+4=8] vs [3+1=4]
Yoink!
7th place get!Cranky has no chance of catching up to anyone!
Tricky is 'defensively' charging and so doesn't pass ice-cream man!
Jack is catching some much needed sleep and doesn't try to pass...much to Waluigis joy.
Waluigi is not sure why the cheating Ice Cream man didn't pass him just now, but he's sure it's a trick of some sort. The sort cheaters would pull would be to act like they're not cheating until they do!
Bowser is gridlocked with Dampe and can't catch up!
Dampe is also unable to pass ahead. Someone needs a shovelin'...
Crank has seen two racers-Dick Dastardly and Waluigi-completely destroyed, saved only by the fact Jack Frost seems to have gotten some sleep powder in his kart. He feels to pull ahead would be very good on this track, to avoid such a disastrous outcome...and wastes no time trying to do just that!
Crank tries to pull ahead!Crank/
[5-6+5=4] Crank feels his kart begin to pick up speed as he breaks away from the pack! He swerves into a tight power slide around the corner, intending to gun it into a mini-boost. He can already seeing the finish line right in front of him...
He fails to note the humps on the side of the track, however. They just look like choco-bumpers, after all...in this stony, rocky land it's hard to tell there's any difference...
That's when he sees a big toothy mouth, camouflaged in choco-brown and white spots, rise up out of the dry mud and lunge at him!
Vs Chompers!
Crank/
[2] Crank hits a hazard and fails to pull ahead!Pass Cost:
-1 Momentum (Now 4)
It bites his kart and begins to gnaw on it! Only a quick dash boost (albeit in the wrong direction) saves him from becoming Piranha chow! As he swerves to regain position, he notices the entire latter section of the track to either side is filled with similar bumps.
And the bumps furthest from the track are a LOT bigger.
Cleanup PhaseCranks kart finally warms up...uh oh...
Chill lost! +1 momentum! (Now 5)
[5-1+3=7]Thankfully, his kart seems to calm down, though he isn't looking forward to the repair bill at the end of the race...
Crank is glad his kart wasn't going any faster-or slower-than cruising. He was almost in trouble there.
Waluigis kart finally picks up speed and rolls up to 1 momentum! Yaaay!
...
All the racers aim for items!
Crank [2+1=3] accidentally flew past the items in his bid to clear the track ahead of him. Oops.
Dampe [2+1=3] was trying to follow Crank.
Bowser [3+1=4] however, knows the value of good loot!
Tier One Item roll [6+1=7]
Bowser red shell get!He's pretty sure this isn't a stupid ghost either! He figures they need time to sneak into his kart-it's his normal storage he's worried about...
Waluigi 6+1 finally gets some good luck! WAIT.
+3 Anti-matter explosion bonus applied! Crit loot success! +1 to roll! Lol!Tier two Item roll [2+3+1=6]
Red Shell get!
Waluigis kart rumbles angrily...but it passes. Guess it was nothing, waaaa! He doesn't care what item he gets as long as it's not a poison shroom!
Unfortunately he gets a red shell! Which is a dragged item. Which means...
POISON SHROOM!
Jack 1+1+1=3 finally gets some bad luck!
Dark Coin get!This isn't loot!
Tricky 4+1+1=6 snags an item, or maybe a lot of them, he's not picky...
Tier two Item roll [7]
Triple Green Shell!
Tricky activates his dino-cyborg enhancements-a trio of green shells begins to circle around him at a wide orbit, arcs of electricity connecting them to a harness on his back!
"Now this is more like it! Try and pass me now, Grampy Kong!"Loot Vacuum goes YoinkDick Dastardly[2+1+2=5] is just delighted to see everyone fail! He meanwhile, has no trouble using his grab-o-glove to take the Monkeys banana as he passes him! Insult to injury!
Tier three Item roll [10-1=9]
Bullet Bill!
A huge rocket with a smiling face is attached to the rear of his kart. It even has boxing gloves on!
This will do
quite nicely...all he has to do is build up a little speed and he'll mow down the track! And right over his shortcut, too.
Cranky [1+1=2] grabs an item box only to have Dick Dastardly snatch it out of his hands with some sort of grabbing glove contraption.
Wrinkly berates him.
"Don't mind him, just go down to the store and buy something clean rather pick up something dirty you just found lying in the street! Look, I have some spare change..." She says, rattling something heavy and darksome into his kart.
Dark Coin get!Cranky is not sure what Ghosts use for money, but he's not going to enjoy spending this.
Spirits enter karts again! (Maybe!)Racing Order! 1st!!!
Momentum- 5
Items-
[Special][Phanto Puzzlebox]
2nd!!
Momentum- 5
Items-None
Chocolate Tank (1/10): Bottle of Bubble Soda (Standard Material)
3rd!
Momentum- 5
Items-
[Dragged/Rear][Red Shell] [Reserve][Haunted (May be a trick boo)]Chocolate Tank (1/10)
4th place...!
Momentum- 1
Items-
[Reserve][Poison Shroom][Dragged/Rear][Red Shell]Chocolate Tank (0/10): Disappointment and Shame
5th..!
Momentum- 4
Items-None
6th.!
Momentum- 3
Items-
[Dragged/Orbiting][Triple Green Shell (3/3)]
7th...?
Momentum- 3
Items-
[Reserve][Bullet Bill]Chocolate Tank (5/10)
8th...
Momentum- 1
Items-
[Reserve][Haunted (May be a trick boo!)]Chocolate Tank (2/10)
Waluigi (Fluffe9911)
Place: 4th
Status- Antimatter Instability (+3 to loot rolls, gain star on 10+. Star makes your kart explode.), Super Sticky Chocolate (-2 to all racing, pass and hazard checks til end of next turn [Refreshed!]), 'Kick Me' Sign attached
Segment-GOLD
Module Perks: Waffle Drill, Removed Crank-Strictor Plate, Fake Starheat Vents, Dark Star Fuel (0/3 charges left)
Mid-Race Hiccups: Featherweight, Hazard Magnet
Module Hiccups: Mold Growth, Cold Start, Ghost Kart, Engine Cough
Permanent Hiccups: Mold Growth
Dick Dastardly
Place: 7th
Status-None
Segment-GOLD
Module Perks: High Accel, Dirty Weapons, Loot Vacuum, Choco-Fludd (1/1 charge left)
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Signal Interference, Greased up, Low Loot, Cold Start
Tricky the Triceratops (Track Boss)
Place: 6th
Status- Normal
Segment- GREEN
Crank (Toaster)
Place: 1st
Status-Dark Coin (-1 to next loot roll)
Segment- GOLD
Module Perks: High Accel, Compensator
Ultra Boost: Streamlined
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Low Loot, Ice Sparks
Compensated: Low Loot
Bowser (SuperDino85)
Place: 3rd
Status- Normal
Segment- GOLD
Module Perks: Choco-Fludd, Choco-Tires, High Acceleration
Ultra Boost: Item Boost
Module Hiccups: Sticky Wheel, Ghost Kart
Dampe (chaotick21)
Place: 2nd
Status- Normal
Segment- GOLD
Module Perks: Ramming Speed
Ultra Boost: Compensator
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: None!
Compensated: Cold Start
Cranky Kong (monk12)
Place: 8th
Status- Dark Coin (-1 to next loot roll)
Segment- GOLD
Module Perks: Streamlined, Aerodynamic, Choco-Fludd, Choco-Tires
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Poor Handlingx2, Ghost Kart, Faulty Weapons
Jack Frost (Egan_BW)
Place: 5th
Status- Dark Coin (-1 to next loot roll)
Segment- GOLD
Module Perks: Chocotires, Dirty Weapons, Ramming Speed, Removed Crank-Strictor Plate
Mid-Race Hiccups: Grounded
Module Hiccups: Featherweight, Faulty Weapons, Low Loot, Signal Interference
...
"Odd how these things happen, but at least everyone got through safe!"
"Waluigis in a bad spot-his speed is down and he's covered in chocolate! Hopefully he can survive to the finish line-as long as Jack stays asleep!""Crank the Gloomba, meanwhile, had a hard turn of luck on the piranha plants!""Very unfortunate, but he's still in the lead-for now!""Our racers will now enter Gold-the lair of the Piranha chompers!""Get to the finish line or get munched!"((OOC: Will add new hazard later lol))
Author
Topic: MKL21 Grand Prix-S1, R2: Choco Raceway (Turn 5-Mudslide!) (Read 20725 times)