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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!  (Read 14150 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #225 on: October 27, 2021, 01:11:01 am »

B
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #226 on: November 11, 2021, 01:40:54 pm »

You hastily make a great sacrifice of lambs and wolves upon the altars of Old Gods, and pray to them to save your son.

Quote
6

By the very next morning, you and your wife touch the face of little Duk. It is pleasantly warm, as it should be.

The healers put him under their care for next few days just to be sure, but the strange illness, whatever it was, went away. Old Gods be praised!

805 NWE, Midwinter

The caravan of silver bullion, hopefully first of many, arrives from the southern mountains. The Treasurer is overjoyed by the quality of the bullion, which ends of course in the vaults of the Treasury.

805 NWE, Few days later

You enter Hege's side bedchamber, the squealing of a newborn child ringing in your ears even from the door.

"It's a girl, your Majesty." Proclaims the palatial healer as the nurses clean the child and help your queen with aftercare. "A princess for the dynasty of Bubba!"

By the evening, your wife settles on the name - as it is her priviledge - of your daughter: Pola, a popular name amongst noble ladies in Rug in recent decades.

805 NWE, End of the Year

Battling the ringing in your ears caused by your kids constant crying and screaming, you sit down at the desk to enjoy a goblet of thin wine - a perfect moment for the Advisor to come in.

"My liege! I have compiled the Scrolls of Kingdom Status for this year!" He says, splaying the vellum on your desk.

Happiness: 3
Population: 6
Economy: 4
Army: 3

You twirl your moustache while the Advisor scratches his beard.

"Any suggestions?"

"Well, the neighbourhood seems peaceful, my liege." The old man replies thoughtfully. "This means we could return to the peasants some of the wealth - the thin years seem to be a thing of the past."

A) "No, we need to replenish our Army first! Get me some mercenaries in there."
B) "Agreed, lets sponsor some festivals or such to lift their spirits."
C) "No, we ought to remain frugal, at least for one more year."
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Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Yellow Pixel

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #227 on: November 11, 2021, 02:31:19 pm »

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Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #228 on: November 11, 2021, 02:36:08 pm »

A
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #229 on: November 11, 2021, 04:31:39 pm »

B
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #230 on: November 11, 2021, 04:31:52 pm »

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King Zultan

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #231 on: November 12, 2021, 01:42:43 am »

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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #232 on: November 13, 2021, 12:35:23 pm »

You agree to sponsor the festivals.

806 NWE, Autumn

Half a year passes without anything interesting happening at all.

And on the very first day of calendar Autumn, a diplomat from neighbouring Kingdom of Dam in the west arrives - a sign that fate wishes to make up for the half year of boredom right away.

"Greetings to Bubba, King of Rug!" He bellows in the audience hall, pulling out a scroll. Breaking as seal on it and opening the scroll, he continues to speak. "In the name of my lord, King Nyll the Second, I ask that the Kingdom of Rug returns the villages and townships of the Lurk Province that it has 'borrowed' during the late reign of King Sukar, to strengthen itself against the Fomorian onslaught last decade. The Fomorians were repelled, but Kingdom of Rug failed to return the land, and failed to deliver the silver duly promised for ten years of supposed lease. King Nyll's father was patient enough to wait, but his son is fed up with this situation. Thus, King Nyll offers King Bubba no negotiations - either you return the Lurk Province willingly and repay what Sukar failed to deliver, or the people of Dam will shed your peoples' blood and retake the land anyway." The courtiers murmur and shout and yell at the diplomat's rude tone of speaking, but the caped man simply tugs the scroll into his jacket and bows his head slightly.

"I have spoken. I've been told to return as soon as King of Rug decides. What say you, King Bubba?"

A) "The deal was made with Sukar, not with Bubba. I owe neither Kingdom of Dam nor King Nyll not a single parcel of dirt!"
B) "While the deal was made with dishonorable Sukar, the house of Bubba is different. The land will be returned, but that's it."
C) "While the deal was made with dishonorable Sukar, the house of Bubba is different. The land will be returned, and the monetary compensation sent to King Nyll. I hope he will fully take this as a sign of trust and friendship between our two realms."
D) "Then enjoy the meals and wine of Kingdom of Rug, dear diplomat, for I must first convene with my courtiers and advisors!"
E) "Then enjoy the hospitality of my dungeon! Guards, haul this insolent man from my sight!"
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Yellow Pixel

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #233 on: November 13, 2021, 12:53:05 pm »

E
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #234 on: November 13, 2021, 01:17:34 pm »

D - Let's just double check if this is legit
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Superdorf

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #235 on: November 13, 2021, 01:33:04 pm »

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Falling angel met the rising ape, and the sound it made was

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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #236 on: November 13, 2021, 03:09:43 pm »

"Enjoy a meal and our finest alcohol, dear envoy. I must first speak with my courtiers to find out if what you claim is true."

It doesn't take long for the council to convene - nor for its members to confirm what the envoy has claimed, especially after your agents shifted through some of Sukar's corresspondence that was preserved in the offices. There was also a copy of the deal, all signed and pressed with wax seal, found in a dusty box on one of the bookshelves.

"The deal was to last for five years, and was sealed in year seven hundred seventy nine." The Advisor explains, reading from the old scroll. "Sukar neither surrendered the land nor sent any money promised to the previous ruler of Dam, Raster, after the deal's expiry, according to the correspondence he received few times from the previous King of Dam. He must've been paragon of patience if he was willing to wait so long without taking any action." The Advisor is interrupted by the Spymaster, who tips his hat.

"My liege, I have few agents in Dam. From what they know, King Nyll the Second is man of action than empty words and promises. If the envoy threatens us with hostile action upon our refusal, I believe that is what will happen indeed."

"How much money does our Kingdom owes the Damians?" The Treasurer bows in response to your question, and quickly reads through the scrolls he was given.

"By my calculations, sire, to use the easiest comparison, the money we owe is equal to around three years of our new silver mine's bullion production. Our Treasury currently holds that amount of money, but I would be very against parting with such a wealth of coin."

A) "Let's return the land, but we won't be sending any money."
B) "Let's return the land and the money."
C) "We won't be returning anything! If Sukar made any deals, the Damians should speak to his rotten corpse about that!"
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #237 on: November 13, 2021, 03:15:36 pm »

Come and get it
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #238 on: November 13, 2021, 03:55:45 pm »

A seems fair. It is normal for a new administration to repudiate the debts of the old.
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Yellow Pixel

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #239 on: November 13, 2021, 05:26:38 pm »

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