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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!  (Read 14160 times)

Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #135 on: September 23, 2021, 09:21:34 am »

A
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #136 on: September 23, 2021, 12:58:39 pm »

You convince yourself that you just saw wrong.

In the evening, however, you do ask Hele if she is truly herself.

"The last few years have been poor on our harvests so our dinners were a bit thin, and I found this superb traveling alchemist who concocted a mixture of herb and piss for my skin and look who well and healthy it became again." She explains, twirling in her dress, and you notice that her hands are still peppered in birthmarks.

But you can ignore these!

801 NWE, Winter

Quote
1

You fall terribly sick once more.

The fever is so strong that you can't really govern at the time, and the Advisor has to deal with problems of the Kingdom in your place. Fortunately, nothing catastrophic occurs. You're also notified that the money promised by chiefdoms in the west has arrived.

801 NWE, Midwinter

Quote
3

You sickness persists and persists, worrying your wife and the courtiers.

801 NWE, Late Winter

Quote
6

Finally, you get back on your feet.

801 NWE, End of the Year

The Advisor arrives with Scrolls of Kingdom Status!

Happiness: 5
Population: 6
Economy: 3
Army: 2

"My liege, our people are happy due to eradication of Fomorians in such a decisive way, but the Treasury isn't faring too well. And our army has suffered losses and a part of it is still in the western lands. With how the mood of the populace is at the moment, perhaps forcing some youths and landless peasants into your levies would be prudent?"

A) "Nah."
B) "If they complain a little, its alright, but we really need those soldiers!"
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #137 on: September 23, 2021, 01:12:25 pm »

B - I'm sure they'd be even less happy if we got invaded cos our army was weak
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Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #138 on: September 23, 2021, 01:24:43 pm »

B We pulled up our bootstraps now its time for the peasants to do the same!
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King Zultan

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #139 on: September 24, 2021, 03:03:55 am »

B
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Yellow Pixel

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #140 on: September 24, 2021, 12:18:09 pm »

B
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #141 on: September 28, 2021, 09:45:50 am »

You order that peasants be drafted into the Army.

802 NWE, Spring

News arrive from the far west; apparently Rugian mercenaries have helped the chiefdoms score a great victory and killed some important leader of their enemies, and there might be peace soon. Perhaps your soldiers will be returning back home this year.

802 NWE, Autumn

Court healers bring you the great news - your wife is pregnant!

Not only that, the harvests across the land have been quite plentiful, with many a homestead having plenty of food to stockpile for winter and sell or share the rest with those unlucky few.

"It seems that the priests of Old Gods believe it to be a sign of blessing from the spirits, and urge your Majesty to sponsor a festival in their name."

A) "Harvest festival here we go!"
B) "Festival? With what money?"
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #142 on: September 28, 2021, 09:47:21 am »

B
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Yellow Pixel

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #143 on: September 28, 2021, 10:39:20 am »

B
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #144 on: September 28, 2021, 02:31:20 pm »

You decline to sponsor a festival.

802 NWE, Winter

The mercenaries sent to the western chiefdoms return in a rather small group. Shockingly, the returnees number less than a hundred.

They also have brought with them extra money, which the western chiefs have sent with them for you. The returnees also carry many spoils for themselves and the families of the fallen.

A) I feel generous - the extra money from the chieftains shall go to the returnees and families of those who lost their lives!
B) They've got their share of spoils. We've got extra cash as a gift. It's a win-win for all!
C) They went to earn money for Kingdom of Rug, not for themselves! The money and the spoils go to the Treasury! They can rest assured that we will spend this wealth wisely.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Yellow Pixel

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #145 on: September 28, 2021, 02:42:06 pm »

B
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Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #146 on: September 28, 2021, 02:45:16 pm »

A
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melkor

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #147 on: September 28, 2021, 02:51:45 pm »

C
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Quote from: Robocorn
what do postdwarvenists do with goblins?

Quote from: Andreus
We slaughter them by the thousands.
But... you know, we do it ironically.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #148 on: September 28, 2021, 03:39:55 pm »

B
What is wrong with you people
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM uhhh 5? King Bubba of Rug!
« Reply #149 on: September 28, 2021, 04:21:00 pm »

The money is transferred to the Treasury, and you thank the soldiers for their services, allowing them to keep their spoils.

802 NWE, Midwinter

It is a day of marvel when your bedchambers resonate with a sound that you didn't hear before inside them - that of a bawling of a baby.

Your wife has given birth to your child, and the healers are proud to announce that its a boy.

According to the rites of Old Gods that your wife - and more or less officially, your whole family - follows, she was given the priviledge of naming the child she brought upon this world. She settled on 'Duk', the name of one of her grandfathers.

802 NWE, Late Winter

The more you think about it, the worse it becomes.

That young squire, what's his name, Maut? You could swear that everywhere your wife is, he is also there. Those little smiles, those little jokes they exchange. He is younger than you two but you can swear this blonde, cheerful young man is everywhere around your wife. Of course, there's nothing wrong with having favorites amongst your servants - you could name a few of your own - but isn't he just too much of a favorite recently?

Heck, he was even one of the people who handled your baby boy after his birth, and in past few weeks he cared greatly for Hele when she was suffering from a bout of cold while you were busy with paperwork.

Perhaps you're just overthinking it... right?

A) It's nothing.
B) Better to nip this in the bud and send him away.
C) Gotta investigate this matter thoroughly. Where's the Spymaster when you need him?
D) Obviously they're having an affair! To the dungeon with him!
E) Obviously they're having an affair! To the dungeon with him, and my wife gets divorce papers!
« Last Edit: September 28, 2021, 04:23:51 pm by Haspen »
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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