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Author Topic: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry  (Read 6980 times)

Fenrir

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2008, 03:01:00 pm »

Poor, Imp. He's always a crazed psychopath or a mindless zombie.
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Impending Doom

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2008, 03:06:00 pm »

Ah well, You get used to it after awhile.  ;)
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Quote from: Robert A.Heinlein
Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion, that violence has never solved anything, is wishful thinking at its worst.

Dark

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2008, 03:14:00 pm »

Ahh dont worry, il be sure to give Imp some sympathy, he is afterall, an elite dwarven wolfbutcher. Dont want to get on the wrong side of those.
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Fire of Algir Mountain - A quest that doesn't involve getting a crown.

Fenrir

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2008, 03:17:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by Dark:
<STRONG>wolfbutcher</STRONG>


 :mad:

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Dark

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #19 on: February 02, 2008, 03:19:00 pm »

Hehe, woops, forgot about your admiration of wolves, I hope you didnt vomit too much when you read The Wolf Battle.
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Fire of Algir Mountain - A quest that doesn't involve getting a crown.

Fenrir

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2008, 03:26:00 pm »

I can accept self defense. I can also accept the killing of severely injured wolves, as they would only die a slow and agonizing death otherwise. However, " wolfbutcher" implies something else altogether. Do not seek to slaughter my kin!
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Dark

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #21 on: February 02, 2008, 03:32:00 pm »

Ahh Imp.  :roll:

We'll see how well he holds out against a giant cave spider. Though its highly probable he will tear it to pieces anyway, especially with the help of Omosh and Opan, Jobob will probably just be fodder though.

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Fire of Algir Mountain - A quest that doesn't involve getting a crown.

DreaDFanG

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2008, 01:36:00 am »

Nice I can only hope Opan will be as skilled in slicing 'wolves' into bits! (Glares at Fenrir, and smiles)

Note: for naming you should use the 'replace all' to get rid of the unsightly extra part after the name.

EXAMPLE: Ivan Emuthosa/Ivan 'Steve' Emuthosa/Steve Emuthosa/Steve
Before/After with centralize/After with first/After with all

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Smash me and I shall rise again, but not make stupid threads that get me muted.

Dark

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #23 on: February 03, 2008, 01:11:00 pm »

The pair continued northeast once Eshtan was done making small pools of water all over the place. They managed to get out of the dense forest and onto a lightly wooded plain. "Great, we're out!" said Eshtan, it began to rain. "Sure wish I had some trees over me to keep this rain off..." muttered Eshtan. Imp paused, he had seen something. Eshtan peered around and... there! A wolf, and another next to it... and another. A whole pack, this is going to be another slaughter! Eshtan fired a couple of bolts into the pack and two of the wolves fell, he was certainly doing better when it was raining, Armok must have a funny sense of humour, 'haha'.

The wolves were nearing and a nearby pond was making him nervous, mainly because Imp charged at full speed at one of the wolves, sinking his sword deeply into its chest. While the wolf was impaled on Imp's sword he gave it a whack with his crossbow, just for fun, it did no damage. The sword came out of the wound and the wolf's head flew off.

A bolt flew and went straight through one of the remaining wolves, "Beat that Imp!" The sword danced and a wolf head was cut clean in half, "F£!£%". The fight was going well, too well, a wolf sunk its teeth into Eshtan's arm, thats better. Eshtan used his crossbow to pry the wolf's off him. "Bloody prat", a bolt flew and mangled the wolf's organs.

Meanwhile a wolf was busy flying through the air. It crashed into Eshtan, growling and snarling and making funny burping noises. Eshtan had trouble remembering what happened then, as he fell down and banged his head on something, probably his crossbow.

When he woke he found himself covered in wolf innards, and a dead wolf resting on top of him. "Uh Imp, if ye would mind not dumpin wolf guts on meh I'd appreciate it, yah." Another wolf head flew over him.

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Fire of Algir Mountain - A quest that doesn't involve getting a crown.

Impending Doom

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #24 on: February 03, 2008, 01:16:00 pm »

Wow...

Fenrir, I suppose I should apologise in advance. This could go on for quite a while.

Have I earned a title yet?

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Quote from: Robert A.Heinlein
Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion, that violence has never solved anything, is wishful thinking at its worst.

Fenrir

  • Guest
Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #25 on: February 03, 2008, 01:16:00 pm »

Once I join, if you kill any wolves, use the Dwarf Companion to make me go berserk.
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Dark

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #26 on: February 03, 2008, 01:24:00 pm »

Not yet I think, your second name is 'Controlbolted' though.

The two marched onwards for day after day, they slaughtered two, or was it three, wolf packs. They failed to find a human town, but at last they reached a large grassy plain with sparse trees, finally they could see where they were going!


(Hells, DF hasnt even received the 'hard to find places' update yet, which will probably arrive on tuesday, and already its hard to find a town. Realistic though.)

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Dark

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #27 on: February 03, 2008, 01:31:00 pm »

After wandering around for weeks, Eshtan was deeply grieved. They should never have left the mountains, what had he gotten himself into? Imp clearly stated, as a leopard leapt at his throat in the dead of night, that if he went back he would be murdered by Baron Goldjewelsilver. The leopard landed in the dirt, blood pouring out of its body. "...Good point, lets move on then."

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Dark

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #28 on: February 03, 2008, 01:36:00 pm »

They marched, they reached the ocean, they got attacked by wolves. Such is the moral of this story that, if you travel with a mad wolfbutcher and get lost looking for a human town, you will be forced to fight wolves for the rest of your life.

Eshtan aimed his crossbow at the wolves, pulled the trigger with anger in his heart, but nothing happened. He fiddled around in his pack for bolts. There were none. He threw some meat at the wolves and hoped they would go away. They didnt.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" he screamed!

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Dark

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Re: Tales of Eshtan Beerberry
« Reply #29 on: February 03, 2008, 01:50:00 pm »

Eshtan's crossbow moved in slow motion through the air, so dramatically Imp nearly pissed himself. It slammed into the face of wolf, breaking its nose and knocking it over. Imp's sword came down on the fallen wolf, cleanly cutting it in half, entrails flying through the air. In slow motion of course.

Eshtan's crossbow once again moved through the air, like a glacier, shattering reality as it slowly glided, slowly and steadily. It slammed into the body of a wolf, a crack, its spine was broken. Eshtan fell into the spray of blood and gore as Imp's sword sunk into one of the wolfs' heart.

Again the sword flew, as Eshtan fell, still in slow motion, a spine was cut. Eshtan's crossbow moved and a wolf lost its paw, mangled beyond recognition. A glint of steel, a severed head. A heavy swing, a broken body, a sharp edge, another life snuffed from the world.

Wolf has been struck down.
Eshtan stands up.

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Fire of Algir Mountain - A quest that doesn't involve getting a crown.
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