Turn 4
For his offense, rend mine opponent to ribbons of flesh with mine terrible claws!
Run at the dragon, get close to him and stab him in his probably fat gut.
'Take that ya damned uptight dragon, spewin all that shit about cookies being so great then ya go and burn em all to nothin, fuckin moron.' King Zultan mocked the dragon. Crustulum's eyes practically bugged out from his fury.
'HOW DARE YOU?!?'[King Zultan: 1] [Crustulum: 4]
Zultan ran up to the dragon in an attempt to stab him, but Crustulum caught him in his claws. With two swift moves, the dragon tore King Zultan to bloody shreds.
King Zultan: Dead
Stab self, chase the ghoul into hell and double-kill it.
'God FUCKING DAMN IT! MY DATE! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!'
[6] Egan stabbed themselves in the stomach and opened a portal to hell! A few demons managed to escape from it before Egan teleported and the gate closed. After a moment Egan saw the headless corpse going towards a settlement. There was a sign nearby that read "Welcome to New Jersey".
Chase after the Gollum and, after catching up with it, tell it that I have a substance called “fudge” that is superior to brownies. Offer to trade “fudge” for the Drill of Insanity.
If the Gollum agrees, take the Drill and create “fudge” using the power of my Lower Chakra and give the “fudge” to the Gollum.
If the Gollum does not agree, then kill it and take the Drill.
Afterwards, run back and attack Dustan Hache in the head with the Drill while yelling “Odorous Trashcan Cover, today is the day you shall die!!!!!!,,!,!,!”
[3] The Curious Cat caught up with the Gollum!
[Curious Cat: 3] [Gollum: 3]
Curious Cat was unable to convince the Gollum that fudge is superior in any way.
[Curious Cat: 5] [Gollum: 3]
Seeing that the thief won't cooperate, Curious Cat kicked Gollum hard enough to knock him on the ground, then took the drill!
Curious Cat: Drill of InstanityGo find some orcs. Train them into a decent fighting force before the knight of insanity returns to challenge me again.
[6] In the meanwhile, Dustan managed to raise an army of orcs so mighty that even Sauron was envious!
[Sauron: 1] [Dustan: 5]
Sauron attempted to possess Dustan, but the latter absorbed a part of his power instead!
Dustan: +2 to next rollDustan: 300 OrcsAfter getting the Drill of Insanity back and before confronting Dustan Hache again, go and get four of my Brothers of The Knights of Insanity to help me.
The first Brother will be armed with The Spoon of Insanity.
The second with The Dead Mackerel of Insanity.
The third will play the bagpipes while we fight.
And the fourth will bring a shrubbery. A nice shrubbery. Not too big. Not too small. Just right.
[1] Curious Cat went in search of his Brothers of The Knights of Insanity, but Dustan's army spotted him!
[Army of Orcs: 5] [Curious Cat: 5]
The Orcs prepared a perfect, deadly formation while the Brothers of The Knights of Insanity arrived on their own to aid the Curious Cat!
I try to steal my book back again. If I successfully steal my book back, I pray to the brownie gods.
[Knightwing: 2] [Witch-king: 6]
Knightwing attempted to unbalance the witch-king and take his brownie book back, but the witch-king started beating him with it until he almost beat him to a bloody pulp, then kicked him off the pile! The witch-king's attacks were so ferocious that one brownie slipped down the platter!
10 Brownies Left
>Get my name legally changed to 0cra_tr0per to fix things. It's 0cra damnit!
[2] Due to the issues with the legal system, 0cra_tr0per is unavailable. The clerk offered to change it to Ocre Trapper instead.
Surprise, the Angry Everywhere system means the Witch King will be forced to fight Angry in several wacky situations so he can unlock the Tiger Drop. Time for round two where both of them play bowling.
Angry Demon Noises: 4] [Witch-king: 4]
Angry Demon Noises challenge the Witch-king for a round of bowling. They picked up a few severed heads and started playing. The score is even so far!
Hyuck!
Only one creature could possibly match this fell power.[Superdorf: 5] [Witch-king: 5]
The hyuck echoed loudly across the entire battlefield, but the witch-king didn't seem to be moved by it.
[Balrog: 1] [Witch-king: 6]
One of the escaped demons attacked the witch-king, who evaporated its entire essence with one slap! The shockwave was so powerful that everyone except the witch-king fell over on the entire battlefield!
Drill of Insanity
Brothers of the Knights of Insanity
+2 to next roll
An army of 300 orcs
Roll to get up